Tag Archive | Women

My Band of Ex’s and O’s

Somehow I just managed to realize that I’ve dated a lot of damn musicians.  Enough to have my own band.  So here’s who would be in my band…

Teacher.  Duh, he teaches music full-time and is a professional musician.  He plays just about every instrument, but he’s amazing on guitar.  And, he sings.

Art.  I’d put Art on keys.  He can play guitar too, but he has more of a piano kind of vibe to him.  He’s a….Cad.  Yep.  That’s the word.

Bluegrass.  Ah, shitty old Bluegrass.  Unfortunately, he’s the only banjo player I’ve dated.  Being from Alabama, it would be a sin for me not to include the banjo in my band.

Rocketman.  I can’t even be mad at Rocketman anymore.  He was a sweet guy.  He just had some major issues.  He was a bass player, like me.  He committed suicide five years ago.

Ok.  So far we have guitar, keys, banjo, and bass.

Last, but not least, is drums.  This is going to have to go to Redbeard.  As far as I can recall, he’s the only drummer I’ve dated.  He’s also a tad crazy.  Today he posted a series of FWB memes on his Facebook feed.  Here they are for your enjoyment:

This bitch be like, “he crazy and needy.”

I didn’t respond in any way.  He’s just not worth it.  I’m sorry for breaking his heart, but he’s not alone in that.  There was a line of heartbroken guys before him, and there will be more after.

Until next time…

Peace, love, & happiness.

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Pirate Play

So it turns out that Redbeard is less this…

pirate

And more this…

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He sent me the following message tonight:

“Hi, sorry for the slow response. Just been doing alot of thinking. It’s time we need to say goodbye. I’m not mad or upset, just wanting more than fwb. I hate to do this via messenger but I don’t even have your number. I really like you but you just don’t want what I want, and that’s ok. Your a cool lady and I hope you find what your looking for. Goodbye, Miss [Ginger].”

Without really thinking it through, I immediately replied:

“Ok. I’m not surprised. I figured you’d dump me before your birthday. Good luck. Bye.”

That was the end of our communications.  Either I’m a damn ice queen now or I really just don’t give a fuck anymore.  It’s kind of nice.  I think I’m finally becoming an ADULT!  Just kidding.  That’s never going to happen.

I’m just not ready for husband #4.  I don’t mind dating someone, but what’s the rush?

I’ve finally got a job that I love, a groovy apartment, a great family, and the internet.  How could I possibly need anything more?  This living single shit is awesome.  I don’t have to wait to get into my own bathroom in the mornings.  I don’t have to rush.  I don’t have to make my bed if I don’t want to, and if I do, it’s because I honestly do want to.  I don’t have share the closet!  That’s a big plus.

I smoke, I drink my sweet tea, and I watch any damn thing I want to watch on television.  Life could always be better, but for right now, this is pretty pretty pretty pretty good.

Until next time…

Peace, love, & happiness.

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Life goes on, man.

thedudeSo, I’m still alive.  After my last post I had to wait a few more weeks before I could see the cardiologist.  The only problem was that I still didn’t have health insurance and I knew the follow-up visit with the cardiologist and any further testing was just going to put me further in debt.  I had checked into “Obama care” but it was outside of the enrollment period so I was running out of options.  However, if you have a “qualifying life event”, such as a marriage, you can enroll outside of the enrollment period.  So that’s exactly what I did.  I asked Buck if he would go ahead and marry me so that I could get the health insurance.  Very romantic isn’t it?

When I called the Preacher to tell him, I hesitated because this is marriage number three for me and I was afraid he would think I was making anther mistake.  However, when I was telling him about the insurance and how I had to have a “qualifying life event” such as a marriage, he immediately asked, “So when’s the wedding?”  Oh, Daddy.  You’re such a softy.  He knows me so well, and at this point in our lives he doesn’t even bother to question my motives or actions.  I do love that Preacher Daddy of mine.

weddingpicAnyway, because Buck didn’t want me to die and because we were eventually going to get married anyway (I assumed), he agreed and on June 11, 2016, I became a married woman, again.  We planned on going to the courthouse and having a quickie wedding, but his mother wouldn’t allow it.  We ended up having a nice little, and I do mean little, wedding on the back deck of her house.  There were a dozen people there and that included the bride and groom.  My family couldn’t make it due to the short notice, so it was mostly Buck’s family.  My boss lady did come to support me though.  She’s a sweetie.  She even made me a gorgeous bouquet to match my dress.  Speaking of my dress, it wasn’t an actual wedding dress.  It was a white 50’s style dress with a pretty print of cherries and little yellow flowers that I found on Amazon.com for a whopping $25.   I wore red shoes to give it that extra little pop. 🙂

this-is-your-ordinationSo after the wedding there was no honeymoon, just a super short reception and then back home to hang out with our Dude and our Red-Headed Step-Child.  Our Dude is literally our “dude” (you know, the guy you buy your herbs from).  He also is an ordained priest in the Church of the Latter-Day Dude.  (I HIGHLY recommend having your Dude perform your wedding ceremony.)  Our Red-Headed Step-Child is our friend who is a manager of a clothing store by day, and a Drag Queen by night.  She’s Buck’s friend who originally thought I was a crazy stalker luring him to Mississippi to show him my nonexistent shrine to him and then steal his kidney.  Needless to say, they are two of my favorite people.

Now that we’re married it’s time to get back to me…my heart I mean.  I went to the doctor and she told me that I needed to have a heart cath in order for them to find out for certain whether I had any blockages in my heart.  I had that done last Thursday.  They put a tiny tube in a vein in my right wrist and then up to my heart.  I was somewhat medicated so I don’t remember it all, but I assume they shot some dye in, looked around, and saw that there were no blockages.  However, while they were poking around, my heart decided to do it’s crazy arrhythmia thing and they had to give me a shot of something to get it back to normal, temporarily.

So now my wrist is all bruised up and it’s sore, but I’ll live, I hope.  I have a follow-up visit with the doctor on Friday to find out what they are going to do about my wonky heartbeat.  It’s not supposed to be life threatening really, but it’s bad enough to cause me to have lots of chest pain and make me weak and tired all the time.  I’m hoping they are just going to go back in and stick a pacemaker in me and get it over with.

beautyschooldropout

I may work in a Beauty School, but I am no Beauty School Drop Out. Also, I think this should be my Halloween Costume this year. 🙂

Until then I’m keeping my nitroglycerin pills handy and trying to keep my stress levels low.  That is easier said than done of course.  My job is insane and my co-workers are equally insane and the students like to test my patience and sanity.  I will get through this though, just like everything else.  Even though I may hit bottom, many times, I always make my way back up to the surface long enough to catch my breath.

Until next time…

Peace, love, & happiness.

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Going in Circles

Twenty years and nine states later, I’m right back where I started.  My 41st birthday was last week.  Twenty years ago I was living here in Tennessee working as a church secretary.  Now, I’m living back in Tennessee, working in a minimum wage retail job.  Not much difference.  I deal with assholes and grumpy people all day, and the occasional nice person.  I’m ignored, belittled, and treated like a minion much of the time.  I just keep on smiling and saying hello, because that is part of what I’m being paid to do.  It’s only when one of my favorite customers comes in that I am able to drop the act and genuinely smile and be happy to greet someone.

The funny thing is, that even when I’m grumpy and don’t want to be there, I still smile and act friendly.  Even when I don’t want to.  Sometimes I just want to snap at people because they are just so damn clueless.  Because of this I’ve come up with a list of my pet peeves.  These are things that people do when they are in the store that absolutely drive me insane and make me want to a) scream, b) cry, c) throw my badge on the counter and walk out, or d) all the above.

Do:

  • Acknowledge the cashier or store employee when they welcome you to the store.  This could mean saying hello or even just smiling back.
  • Be prepared.  Have your discount card, coupons, money, and/or ID ready before you get to the register.  I’m trying to check you out in the friendliest yet most efficient way.  Please help me help you.
  • Get off your damn phone!  Do be courteous, as I will do the same.cellphonerude
  • Empty your basket.  Again, help me help you as quickly as possible.
  • Put your basket/cart back where you got it.  I sometimes give the elderly a pass on this one.shopping cart
  • Control your children.  Germs are real folks, and your children are not welcome to drool and climb all over the counters grabbing the scanner and everything else within reach.

Don’t:

  • Be rude to the cashier.  That includes being on your cellphone, not saying a word to the person helping you, throwing items or money on the counter (like throwing spare change at a beggar), and thinking the cashier is a mind reader.rude
  • Be a snob.  Just because the cashier is doing a job that you think is beneath you, just imagine what you would be willing to do to take care of your family and be able to feed them.
  • Be “holier than thou.”  One lady actually said to me, “Honey if you were perfect you wouldn’t be working here.”  I hate the Sunday crowd the most.  The so-called God-fearing Christians are usually some of the rudest, meanest, most judgmental people I have to deal with.
  • Think we’re lazy and/or not intelligent just because we are working a minimum wage job.  (At least I’m working.  It might not be my dream job, but I bring home a paycheck and pay my own bills.)
  • Give the cashier gospel tracts.  I know that you think that they might be the one in a hundred who actually reads it and finds the Lord, but no.  Save the sermons for the parking lot.  They have a job to do and taking them with a smile, then throwing away your little cutesy tracts after you walk out the door is not in the job description.
  • Tell us your latest racist or sexist or off-color joke.  You will receive the death stare.1i-chzbgr

I guess that’s all for now.  I’m sure I’ll have to add to this list later on.  Just remember to be nice to cashiers.  We have to do a lot of math and deal with assholes all day long.  On top of that we have to go around a clean up after you.  (I’m talking to you.  The ones who like to walk half way around the store before deciding they don’t want something, and then just set it down anywhere before heading to the checkout.)e4f9348b43ufq

I’ll take a beer now please.

Peace, love, & happiness.

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2015: The Year of Bliss Attacks

light-in-the-confessionalIt’s been two months since my last confession post.  Buck and I have since moved to another state and have begun our little life together.  Originally the plan was that he would just move to be with me, and he did.  Once he got there though, I brought up the idea that maybe we should move back to his home state.  It made sense for several reasons, but the main one was that he wouldn’t have to pay out-of-state tuition. He also would be close to his family and friends.  Of course I knew I’d miss the friends that I had made in Podunk, Mississippi, but it also meant I would no longer have to see Teacher on a regular basis.

Teacher and I have become friends since he broke up with me in March of last year, but it was still a little awkward at times, especially once Buck arrived and was hanging out with me all the time.  Getting over the breakup with Teacher wasn’t easy, but I was proud that I had eventually recovered and moved on.  It’s not always easy to move on though when you have to see your ex-boyfriend every other day.  So moving to another state seemed like a blessing in disguise.

So there was a lot of driving back and forth for Buck.  He had to go home for Christmas without me while I stayed in Mississippi and worked through the end of the year.  My last day at work was the last day of 2014.  It seemed a fitting end to a crazy year.

tiny carBuck came back after Christmas and on January 3rd we moved.  It hasn’t been easy, but it’s been great. I had to leave 80% of my belongings in a storage unit in Mississippi because it wouldn’t all fit in his tiny car.  His car still looked like a tiny clown car once we had stuffed it to the gills with my clothes and necessities.  By necessities I mean some shoes, clothes, computer, silverware, one (just one) plate, my Monkey, and one Willie picture (my 1980s autographed album promo poster of Willie Nelson).  There were some other random things thrown in, but no furniture other than one large metal shelving unit and one small metal shelving unit.  They only made it in because they could be taken apart and thus didn’t take up much room in the car.

When Buck went home for Christmas he rented us an apartment that I had found online.  That was at least one less thing we had to take care of once we got to my new home state.  I’ve met his family, most of them anyway, and everyone seems to like me, which is a relief.  Now I’m just doing daily job searches and applying for every office-type job I can find.  He starts back to school in another week, so he’s been busy getting all that in order.

Now for the part that I haven’t really mentioned yet.  Buck and I have something in common.  We both like the D.  By D I mean dick.  Yes, he likes having sex with both men and women.  This is the point where I don’t really know how to explain things very well.  I feel like it’s important to share this information though because it’ll make things easier to understand in my future posts.

So, yes, he’s bisexual, but so am I.  I just consider myself to be more attracted to men than women.  So it’s not an issue, especially since we have an understanding.  The understanding is that we can have sex with other people as long as both of us either know about it, or both of us are present and/or involved in the act.  Hopefully that will clear things up a little.  If it doesn’t feel free to comment & ask any questions you might have.  Because at this point I’m unsure about how much detail I should give here.

He knows about and has read the blog.  I’m sure I’ve said before that I would never let another boyfriend know about the blog, but how often do I really follow my advice?  I think that’s why I’m so shy about writing certain things though.  It’s as if I’m afraid of betraying his trust or confidence.  I know that’s not true though because I asked him how he felt about it and he’s not worried about what I write.

That should be enough for now.  Hopefully at least everyone knows that I’m still alive and didn’t get murdered or abducted by the mysterious Prince Buck Charming.  So, yay! 🙂

Oh, and do I have some stories to tell. 😉  And you thought things here would get boring once I settled down and fell in love again.  Bazinga!

Peace, love, & happiness.

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