Tag Archive | Surgery

In a Blues Brothers State of Mind

This morning I woke up, in a Blues Brothers state of mind.  Sometimes, you just have to say, fuck it.  It’s Saturday and tomorrow is Easter Sunday.  I haven’t been able to go into the city because I’m afraid.  I found out that I’m a wanted woman, wanted by a man for something that I said and something that he did.  Being cooped up inside all the time like I usually am can drive a person insane.  I’ve cut all my hair off, dyed it black, and just stopped caring what people think of me.  The Preacher wanted me to come up to his church for service tomorrow, but I just don’t have the energy.

I got home yesterday after spending four days with my sister and nephew.  When I got home the sink was full of dirty dishes, the house was a mess, and Skaterboi was next door drinking beer with the landlord and some other people.  He hobbled back home saying that his foot was bothering him again.  He said it started hurting again that morning and that’s why he hadn’t done the dishes.  I asked if they were all from the night before.  I knew they weren’t.  He said no they weren’t.  So he had four days to do the dishes, but he didn’t.  I’m not obsessive about having the house spotlessly clean, but dirty dishes sitting in the sink for four days is just too much for me to handle.

I can’t wait to get my little motor home and hit the road.

You’re a nut! You’re crazy in the coconut!

I just got back from my follow-up appointment with my knee doctor.  He’s awesome.  He’s an old school Louisiana straight-shootin’ charming doctor.  Although every time he sees me I’m basically a gooey mess of emotions, he is always kind and is good at calming my nerves and fears.

Today was worse than usual.  I have been especially down in the dumps lately and stressed out for many reasons.  I wanted to just tell him that I was ready to go check into the psych ward, but I held it in.  The Doc changed some of my medications in hopes that it would help.  So I start yet another journey down the path of pharmaceuticals.

After my appointment I had to go get my new meds and make a stop by my favorite little Bodega while I was in town.  About an hour after I got home and had taken one of my new wonder-pills I saw Skaterboi drive up.  I had started cooking some ribs in the crock pot and was in the kitchen when he came in.  He immediately heads to the crock pot to see Continue reading

Tadaa! Thank God this year is almost over!

I know the title sounds like this is going to be another negative rant, but really it’s not.  Although I have been through a lot this year, for example:

  • broke off engagement
  • broke up with my off/on-again boyfriend of a year
  • broke my leg
  • had knee surgery
  • still not able to go back to work
  • got a DWI
  • had to call Daddy/the Preacher & tell him that I was in the county jail
  • spent 20 hours in the county jail
  • Continue reading

Boyfriend denied sex. Poor guy, but what about poor me?!

I found this blog posting (When your partner guilts you into sex) last night about a young woman who was being guilted into sex by her boyfriend.  I can completely understand how she feels.  The man who I was seeing, Bobblehead Nerd, would do the same thing to me.  It was usually when he had been drinking excessively and I was sick.  When I have a bad cold, migraine, broken leg, or most recently, a day after having had knee surgery, I tend to not be in the mood for sex.  I believe that’s fairly normal.  However, he just didn’t understand that sometimes a person just isn’t in the mood.  He would try his best to get me going by cuddling, groping, and sweet talking.  None of that works when I’m sick though and I’ve told him that.  Knowing that the outcome to my saying no would be him getting pissed off sometimes pushed me into just giving in to him.  The times that I gave in like that, the sex, on my part, was miserable.  I just wanted it to be over and in the end I just felt violated and resentful towards him.

First of all, I loved this guy.  I was attracted to him, we had good sex, and I didn’t deny him sex because of anything he had done.

On the occasions that I said no and completely refused sex, once he finally figured out I was serious, he would say “Fine, I guess I’ll leave you alone then.”  If he had said it in a loving caring way I wouldn’t have a problem with it, but he said it in a huffy pouting spoiled child tone of voice.  He would then roll over, back towards me, or hop out of bed and not come back until hours later.  There were no soft touches showing he actually cared about my being sick or hurt.  If he wasn’t getting what he wanted, then he didn’t want to even touch me.

All of this happened on my birthday of all days, and the day after my surgery.  I was doped up on pain meds and just wanted to sleep.  Bobblehead Nerd wanted sex.  I said no.  He got pissed off.  The next morning he tried again to get me to have sex with him.  I still refused because my pain medicine had worn off and I was hurting even worse.  So, he jumps out of bed and sulks away.  Seeing him still acting like that just hurt me more and made me angry.  Why should I have to put up with that kind of behavior?  Well, I’m not going to anymore.

After noticing a pattern of this happening with him (he wants sex, I’m sick, I say no, he ignores my wishes, then either I give in and am miserable or I hold fast to my not wanting sex and we end up in a fight) I decided I couldn’t take it anymore and broke up with him.

What would you do in a situation like this?