Tag Archive | Sisters

You know what sucks about being a whore?

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“You know what sucks about being a whore?” asked Fallen Angel.

“Having to fuck ugly men?” replied me.

“Shaving your legs five times a week and changing the sheets three times a week.  Maybe you get used to sleeping in cum, but I never have,” she explained.

That was courtesy of my sister, Fallen Angel.  Bless her heart.

Happy humping! (Another meeting of the She-Woman Man-Haters Club is adjourned.)

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Sibling Rivalries: The Bitch is Back

panicI think I’m having a panic attack.  My chest hurts, I’m sweating, it feels like someone is trying to choke me, my head is spinning, and I want to cry.  I guess I should thank my wonderful family for this.  Ever since they arrived this evening it’s been nonstop chaos and noise and tension and stress.  I tried to keep myself busy.  I did my laundry, the dishes, and finally just decided to hide up in my room.  Who knows how long the peace and quiet will last though.  We’ve got a shortage of beds again and I’ll be damned if I end up having to sleep with my sister and nephew again.

My plan of taking them out to dinner tomorrow night was shot to shit as soon as I mentioned it to my aunt.  My sister heard me and said in a snotty tone, “You’d better be saving for a car instead.”  I told her to shut up, and then she said something about me using her truck (the one I bought her) to get to work.  Considering she’s not working now and I’m the one with a full-time paying job, I think it’s in both our best interest for me to actually go to work.

steweyAfter that little comment though, I decided that instead of getting into a fight with her in front of my mom, aunt, little brother and nephew, I’d just not say anything else.  There’s nothing I can say anyway that would make her stop being such a selfish bitch.

Since I still haven’t found another car, I think I’m just going to call the mechanic Monday and tell him to put a new motor in mine.  At least that way I can get my car back and then get the hell out of this house…permanently.  It’s sad that she’s pushed me to the point where once I get out of here, I probably won’t speak to her for a very long time.  I have no reason to anymore.  All she does is judge, bitch, criticize, and complain about how I choose to live my life.  She’s worse than my parents ever were.

Happy humping!

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I’m suddenly feeling religious

Me: we need to go to church
Fallen Angel: yeah
it can’t hurt
Me: 1st Baptist of (town)
Fallen Angel: uh oh
Me: the new minister of music just came in
lol
Fallen Angel: this isn’t sincere is it?
that’s just sick
Me: lol no
i can’t help it
hey, whatever gets people in the door
lol
shit..i should have offered to play bass for them

Preacher’s Daughter made a funny today

Fallen Angel (my sister):  I was talking to mom today and she’s trying to talk us into moving to their town.  I don’t want to live there.  It’s a retirement community.  How am I going to find a man there?

Me:  But that would be like hitting the goldmine for you, wouldn’t it?

Fallen Angel:  (Long pause, then she smiled.) That’s a good one.  Little Bubba your Auntie [PD] made a funny.

Both of us started laughing so hard we almost cried.  Little Bubba just stood there looking very confused.  He’ll understand soon enough.  LOL

For those of you that don’t get the joke, my sister has a habit of dating men much, much older than herself (i.e. her boyfriend of 7 years who was 40 years older than her and her current old man who is 23 years older.)  She likes ’em already broken in, just like her horses. 😉

Happy humping!

A Day With Two and a Half Preacher’s Kids

Today my sister, my nephew and I took a little ride down to my parents’ old place.  It’s still up for sale and I’ve gone down there periodically to pick up mail and make sure everything is still secure.  Today we were on a mission to collect the mail and then ask the Preacher for a loan so we can go ahead and rent the house my sister found.  It was a simple plan, but with my sister, nothing is ever that simple.

While we were on our way to the house she decided that we needed to bring her 1976 Fiat back.  The Fiat was originally our grandfather’s.  She got it almost a year ago and after having some work done to it, it sat at our parents’ house for five months.  Her reasoning for going ahead and getting it was that if we had it then I could sell my car and I could drive the Fiat until she could buy a truck.  Once she buys a truck then I will take her other car.  Fine.  I’m cool with that I suppose.  The Fiat is small but sporty and it’s a convertible.

We get there and she gets the key to the car and goes out to try to start it up.  It won’t start.  Big surprise.  After all it has just been sitting there for five months.  We figure out that the battery probably just needs a jump.  I have no jumper cables in my car so she goes into the Preacher’s shop to see if he has any.  She finds a big battery charging contraption that plugs into an outlet.  She drags it all the way over to the house and plugs it in.  The Fiat was parked under the end of the old garage/storage building so we needed to move it closer to the house.  I hop in the car and she proceeds to start pushing it backwards while I steer.  Thank God it’s a little car otherwise I don’t think we ever would have been able to move it.

Once we got the car close enough to hook up to the charging thing she pops open the hood.  There is the battery.  It looked simple enough.  When I looked under the hood though I saw what looked like something covering the engine.  I said something to her about it and she pulled it out.  Uh…where’s the engine?  LOL  Silly me, I didn’t know that it’s like the old VW’s and the engine is in the back.  It was the car cover that was in there.  So once we got past that and stopped laughing at my ignorance she connected the charger and turned it on.

We let it charge for a while and then tried to crank the car.  Nothing.  Waited some more.  Nothing again.  This continued for about an hour before we finally gave up.  During that hour my nephew, Little Bubba, was running around playing.  He got really excited when we took the top off the car and he got in and started pushing buttons.  Fun, fun.

At one point I was sitting in the car, my sister was standing next to it, and Little Bubba was sitting in the passenger seat.  We decided that it was time to lay hands on the car and pray for it to start.  Hey, it’s not the first time that I’ve prayed over a car.  LOL  We told Little Bubba to say please, or as he says, peez, and he finally did.  Great.  Then we were ready to give it one more try.  Nothing.  Oh, well.  God works in mysterious ways.

During that hour out in the 100 degree heat we all sweated our asses off, which probably wasn’t a bad thing.  We needed the exercise.  I was so glad when my sister finally decided to give up and head home though.  We were all ready for a shower and some cold medicine.  Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that we’ve all been sick with a cold this week.  So not only were we out in 100 degree heat with fevers, she and I were pushing a car around the yard.  Why she decided to do all this today I’ll never understand, but I still love her.

So today (actually yesterday now) was a bust.  We didn’t really get anything accomplished other than finding out that the car needs a new battery.  Hopefully next time I’ll actually get to drive the little sports car home.

My cold medicine is kicking in now so I’m off to bed.  I hope everyone has a great day. 🙂

Happy humping!