Tag Archive | Religion

Going in Circles

Twenty years and nine states later, I’m right back where I started.  My 41st birthday was last week.  Twenty years ago I was living here in Tennessee working as a church secretary.  Now, I’m living back in Tennessee, working in a minimum wage retail job.  Not much difference.  I deal with assholes and grumpy people all day, and the occasional nice person.  I’m ignored, belittled, and treated like a minion much of the time.  I just keep on smiling and saying hello, because that is part of what I’m being paid to do.  It’s only when one of my favorite customers comes in that I am able to drop the act and genuinely smile and be happy to greet someone.

The funny thing is, that even when I’m grumpy and don’t want to be there, I still smile and act friendly.  Even when I don’t want to.  Sometimes I just want to snap at people because they are just so damn clueless.  Because of this I’ve come up with a list of my pet peeves.  These are things that people do when they are in the store that absolutely drive me insane and make me want to a) scream, b) cry, c) throw my badge on the counter and walk out, or d) all the above.

Do:

  • Acknowledge the cashier or store employee when they welcome you to the store.  This could mean saying hello or even just smiling back.
  • Be prepared.  Have your discount card, coupons, money, and/or ID ready before you get to the register.  I’m trying to check you out in the friendliest yet most efficient way.  Please help me help you.
  • Get off your damn phone!  Do be courteous, as I will do the same.cellphonerude
  • Empty your basket.  Again, help me help you as quickly as possible.
  • Put your basket/cart back where you got it.  I sometimes give the elderly a pass on this one.shopping cart
  • Control your children.  Germs are real folks, and your children are not welcome to drool and climb all over the counters grabbing the scanner and everything else within reach.

Don’t:

  • Be rude to the cashier.  That includes being on your cellphone, not saying a word to the person helping you, throwing items or money on the counter (like throwing spare change at a beggar), and thinking the cashier is a mind reader.rude
  • Be a snob.  Just because the cashier is doing a job that you think is beneath you, just imagine what you would be willing to do to take care of your family and be able to feed them.
  • Be “holier than thou.”  One lady actually said to me, “Honey if you were perfect you wouldn’t be working here.”  I hate the Sunday crowd the most.  The so-called God-fearing Christians are usually some of the rudest, meanest, most judgmental people I have to deal with.
  • Think we’re lazy and/or not intelligent just because we are working a minimum wage job.  (At least I’m working.  It might not be my dream job, but I bring home a paycheck and pay my own bills.)
  • Give the cashier gospel tracts.  I know that you think that they might be the one in a hundred who actually reads it and finds the Lord, but no.  Save the sermons for the parking lot.  They have a job to do and taking them with a smile, then throwing away your little cutesy tracts after you walk out the door is not in the job description.
  • Tell us your latest racist or sexist or off-color joke.  You will receive the death stare.1i-chzbgr

I guess that’s all for now.  I’m sure I’ll have to add to this list later on.  Just remember to be nice to cashiers.  We have to do a lot of math and deal with assholes all day long.  On top of that we have to go around a clean up after you.  (I’m talking to you.  The ones who like to walk half way around the store before deciding they don’t want something, and then just set it down anywhere before heading to the checkout.)e4f9348b43ufq

I’ll take a beer now please.

Peace, love, & happiness.

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What I think about Lifetime’s new show “Preacher’s Daughters”

165966_495022397201128_1431375662_nRachel asked, “What is your take on the new show coming to Lifetime called Preacher’s Daughters?”  I figured that instead of just replying to her comment, I’d turn it into a post.  Because this is going to be more than I can fit into one paragraph.

First of all, I don’t like most “reality tv” because it’s not reality.  It’s a twisted sexed up version of reality.  The networks only make those shows because so many American’s are either stupid enough to believe that it’s real, or they just don’t care and like to indulge on crap tv.  Watching your favorite “guilty pleasure” tv show is fine, just don’t believe everything you see on tv.

Now that I’ve said that, let’s get on with the show.  When I spoke with the producers of this show a year ago, I thought that it was going to be a top-notch documentary on preacher’s daughters, not a religious version of “Teen Moms.”  Thankfully, my age disqualified me from being a part of this show.  Also, there’s no way the Preacher would have ever agreed to something like this.

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The preachers and their daughters.

Maybe I’m being a bit harsh, but after watching the promo for the show, I was not impressed.  It was more like mentally and spiritually offended.  Of course, during the promo, they showed a clip of one of the girls having to break the “I’m pregnant” news to daddy.  Then you hear the dad asking the girl how many (guys she’s been with) and saying that they need a paternity test.  They are just trying to boost ratings, and that’s exactly how to do it.

I also feel a little sorry for the girls on the show.  After watching all the clips online, it seems that their parents, like so many religious zealots (including my parents), have control issues.  I know that my dad was so controlling of me that I never would have even dared ask him if I could go out on a date.  Once, in seventh grade, I asked him if I could go to a school dance with a female friend, and his answer was, “No. All they do is play heathen music and the boys and girls dance together. You’re not allowed to ever go to those dances.”  I knew right then that my social life was going to be nonexistent until after I moved out of the Preacher’s house, and I was right.  I sure made up for it later though, and so will these girls.  Actually, since times are very different now, these girls seem to be more rebellious earlier than I ever was.  At least I waited until I was 18 and out of my dad’s house.  Even then I tried to be a “good girl” and managed to stay a virgin until I was twenty-two.  These girls are only sixteen and seventeen and they are already dressing like bimbo sluts and sneaking around having sex.

ok_3-8-13_preacher-daughters_stackedMy sister, Fallen Angel, and I agree that just because a girl’s father is a preacher, that doesn’t mean she rebels any more than other kids.  It just means that she’s scrutinized more closely than other kids.  Being a preacher’s daughter means having a constant spotlight on you and being constantly judged.  Unfair as it may be, it’s the truth.  If the average teenage girl gets pregnant then she’s just a statistic, and no one really thinks twice about it.  Hell, they even give some of them their own “reality shows.”  However, if a preacher’s daughter gets pregnant out of wedlock, it’s a huge shock, a scandal, a blemish on her family’s name and reputation.  It’s ridiculous.  Kids are kids, and yes, some of them are going to have sex.  It doesn’t matter who their parents are or what their parents do for a living.

This show is just another example of how the media is pushing a stereotype about a group of people.  It’s stereotyping Christians, preachers, and of course preacher’s daughters.  It’s true that some preacher’s daughters rebel with a vengeance (i.e. ME), but many of them lead normal, happy, productive lives.  I’m sure that the producers of this show had a plethora of teenage girls to choose from for this show, including some very nice, good, and normal ones.  Yet, they chose to have only the “wild” and “rebellious” ones on the show.  Probably because good girls don’t boost ratings like slutty girls do.  That’s sad, but true.

The fathers of these girls are another matter entirely.  I don’t know how any true “man of God” who could allow their church, family, and daughters to be put on television and exploited in this way.  Well, I can think of a couple of ways they would allow it…if they were sucked in by the greed and/or fame.  Even if they did/do have the best of intentions in signing up for this show, they will soon learn that it’s not exactly like they thought it would be.

Don’t get me wrong.  I am not too worried that the show will cast Christians in a negative light.  Plenty of Christians do that all on their own.  I’m worried about any negative stereotypes being encouraged.  Sure we can laugh and make jokes based on stereotypes, but in the end all they really do is hold us all back as a society.

Maybe you think I’m encouraging the stereotype about preacher’s daughters.  If so then you probably haven’t read much of this blog.  Even my tagline at the top says “Nobody’s perfect. Why should I be any different?”  And that’s exactly how I feel about it.  I’m no different from anyone else.  I have my good parts, my bad parts, my crazy parts, and my normal parts.  I have good days and bad days just like everyone else.  If I’m going to be judged on something, let me be judged on the kind of person that I am, not on who my father is.

I think the girls on this show should be given the same respect.  They should be judged on who they are, and not on how controlling or extremist or conservative their fathers are.  God knows, they will have a hard enough time as it is just being teenage girls.

Happy humping!

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Midnight Confessions and Self-Therapy

Happy Halloween! (Not my new car by the way.)

First of all, for those of you who read my earlier post, I now have a car.  So I can at least check one thing off my list.  Yay!  It came as a complete surprise Sunday morning.  My sister told me that her friend Horse Whisperer had a car that she was willing to sell me.  Praise Jesus, because I was about to go mad not having a mode of transportation.  I love my sister, but living with her, working in the same building with her, and having to ride to and from work and everywhere else with her was putting a huge strain on our relationship.  Now we’re both free to come and go as we please.

Now for the important stuff.  I have not been completely honest with you lately, and for that I do apologize.  I’ve avoided writing very much because without telling you the truth, there wasn’t much to tell.  Sometimes it’s just harder for me to admit who I really am and what I’ve really done.  I feel the need to keep up appearances, even to strangers who only know me as an anonymous blogger somewhere in the woods of Mississippi.  Admitting to certain aspects of my life, well, it just makes me feel like a bad person.  All that extreme religious crap that was engrained into me as a kid left a deep mark.  It’s one of those scars that will never completely heal.  The truth really does set me free, even if that means being brutally honest with myself.  I’m ready to be free.

I have a problem.  I ask for advice.  I listen to it and appreciate it.  Then I go in the completely opposite direction.  Is it that I’m just strong-willed and independent, or am I just stupid and can’t follow good advice?  Maybe all the above.  Anyway, when I wrote my post “Uncommon Whore” a couple of weeks ago, I told you about Harry.  Harry had issues, lots of red flags, and had stalker written all over him.  So what did I do with Harry?  I kept seeing him.  One of my other issues, is that I find it very difficult to say no to people.  Technically, I think that’s just an off-shoot of my subconscious need to seem to be perfect and keep up appearances, but whatever…Daddy issues, blah, blah, need therapy, blah.

Even though I really did halfheartedly try to run Harry off, I just didn’t try hard enough.  He kept texting, calling, asking me to dinner, and I caved.  I’m always afraid that if I make a snap judgement about someone then I might miss out on someone who may actually be the one.  So I try not to be too quick to judge people, and instead to give Continue reading

Lost in the wilderness

I keep starting posts and then abandoning them.  Things are so crazy, hectic, and depressing here that I can’t even focus enough to finish one little post.  So I’m trying something different.  I noticed that all my posts were confined to specific topics.  Maybe that was the problem.  Maybe right now, my life can’t be confined to one specific topic.  So here.  Sit back while I share a little of my chaotic life with you.

Last week I thought that I was going to finally be able to get a car.  After selling my car earlier this summer to help fund the “save the house” project I started getting very depressed and bitter about the whole situation.  Here I was trying to help my parents and my sister and instead of feeling good about it I just feel like I’ve been beat down and abused.  The Preacher has not done much of anything other than make phone calls to lawyers and look at porn.  He’s not much help these days.  My poor mother has no clue what he’s been up to, and she’s just trying her best to take care of everyone.

We had someone come and look at the house yesterday.  My sister & I agreed not to even tell our parents yet.  We don’t want to get their hopes up.  The woman did love the house though and said she’s going to talk to her husband about it.  So we shall see if she actually comes through and buys the damn place.  I used to love this house, but not anymore.  It’s too big, too hard to clean, too…everything.  If she were to buy it next week and we had to be out in a month that would be fine with me, even though I have no clue where I’d go.

You’re response to my poll was great.  Most of you voted that I go back to New Orleans.  Part of me really wants to do that, especially now that Manwhore has left town.  We all know how that goes though.  He leaves town for a few months and then comes right back like a boomerang.  Oh yeah, he’s living with the Chicago gold-digger again.  I guess I should have started by telling you that I’ve continued to occasionally do website work for him since I moved.  That’s how I know what he’s up to.  After last week though, I’m not going to be doing any more work for him.

His business partner sent me an email a week and a half ago with a very long list of changes that needed to be made to the website and other promotional materials.  I had been waiting on the list for about three weeks.  So once I received it, on a Thursday, I told her that I would work on it on the weekend, which I did.  I spent an entire weekend making all the changes.  Once I was done I sent them the invoice for my work.  He immediately started texting me.  He said that I needed to fix some more stuff and that they would pay me half then and half once it was all done.  Well, first of all I did everything she had on her list.  The only thing that I hadn’t done was the list of additional changes that he gave me that morning.

I told him that once they paid me, in full, I would make the extra changes that he had just given me that morning.  That didn’t go over well.  He went on a texting spree and told me that I was charging them too much, that I was a rip off, that the website looked “crappy.”  That’s funny.  Before he got the invoice they both said that the website was awesome.  In a fit of desperation to get paid, and because he was so rude to me, I put an “Under Construction” page up on the website’s main page.  I also removed everything I had uploaded to Vistaprint for them to order.  That seemed to calm him down and by the end of the day I had my money, he had his website back up, everything was uploaded back to Vistaprint, and everyone was happy and appreciative.

I really don’t like having to be a bitch like that.  It’s just not naturally a part of my personality, but desperate times call for desperate measures.  After all of that I told him that I would not be doing any more work for him.  It’s just too damn stressful.

Now back to where I’ll go if we sell the house.  If Manwhore stays out of my life and hopefully New Orleans, then I would definitely consider moving back there.  The other thing that worries me about moving back there is “the one who shall not be named.”  I’ve kept in touch with him, and even seen him once since I left New Orleans.  I’m just afraid that if I move back there I’ll want to start seeing him again and he won’t want that.  I don’t know if he’s just wanting to be fuck buddies, or friends, or what, and I’m too terrified to ask.  I don’t want to piss him off, or scare him off like I did before.  If it came down to it, I’d rather just be friends with him than not have him in my life at all.

The fear of rejection can be a powerful thing.  How do you tell someone who you have a major crush on them and want to date them without sounding like a goofy teenager?

There’s also the matter of Endymion that I’d have to deal with.  If I moved back there and “the one who shall not be named” turned out to be against dating me, then I know I’d be disappointed, weak, and tempted to go back to seeing Endymion.  I really adore him, but I get the feeling that I would never be able to be his girlfriend.  In the bedroom the age difference disappears, but outside, it’s a different story.

Well, well, well.  I think that’s all I have to say about that.

Oh, back to the car thing.  I picked one out, got financing, and then was supposed to pick it up on Tuesday when the dealership called and said it wasn’t going to happen.  Evidently the odometer on the car had been replaced and therefore the finance company would no longer agree to finance it.  Damn.  That really sucked.  So now I’m back to looking for a car and saving up money, because of course as soon as they told us that, the water got cut off and the power was about to get cut off so my down payment had to go towards bills.  Have I mentioned that I hate this place?  I did?  Sorry.  It’s just that I really hate this house, town and state.

Until next time!

Happy humping!

I didn’t see it coming

I told you a while back that my sister met a man the day of the trail ride & crawfish boil.  He’s a cowboy of course, and a good bit older than her.  He was also very funny and flirty.  Just her type.  So a few days later she asked if I would babysit Little Bubba for a while so that she could hang out with him.  It turned out that all they did was go across the road to Dolly’s Cabin and “hang out.”  Of course we all know what that means.

The next night after her “date” we were sitting at the dining room table eating dinner and I asked how her “date” went.  With a big goofy grin on her face she told me that it was “something.”  Something?  I wasn’t sure what that meant so I inquired further.  She told me that he was very large.  She wasn’t talking about his weight.  He’s an average sized guy.  Not bad-looking either.  No, she was talking about something else.  She said he was porn star big.  Therefore, furthermore, he will be called Porn Dick.

She explained that it was the biggest one she’d never seen.  Yes, that’s right.  She said never seen.  Evidently the lights were off when things started getting hot and heavy and then she said what would become a running joke for us.  “It was huge!  I just didn’t see it coming!”

At that point I started laughing and the conversation continued to go further into the gutter full of dick jokes and cum-filled innuendos.  I almost wet my panties I was laughing so hard.

God Hates No One

A few weeks later we were sitting on the front porch one evening talking about a sign that a local church had posted in their front window.  It said “We welcome everyone including HOMOSEXUALS. Come Sunday for explanation.”  Someone had taken a picture of it and posted it on Facebook.  The local gay/lesbian community was not happy with it, and I can’t say that I blame them.  The church in question isn’t known for its tolerance towards people with views that differ from their own.  The tag line on their website says, “Come as you are, but don’t expect to stay that way.”  Unfortunately that should be a positive message, but it’s actually more of a testimony to how judgmental and controlling they are.  It should say, “Come as you are, but if you want to keep coming you’ll have to conform to our views of what a Christian should be (not God’s).”

So while sis and I were sitting on the porch and talking I mentioned that we should start our own church for freaks and rejects.  She was amused and halfheartedly agreed.  I was serious though.  I’m sick of so-called Christians thinking that people have to conform to their beliefs to be saved.  What about God?  Shouldn’t He be the one who we are worried about pleasing and conforming to what He wants us to be?  God loves everyone.  How do these churches expect to get people to come worship with them when all they do is judge and demean anyone who doesn’t meet with their approval?

The worst part was when my sister sent a text to an acquaintance of hers.  He is a member of that very same church, and even teaches several classes there.  The text she sent him asked about the sign.  He said that he did know about the sign, but wasn’t sure what the pastor was going to “explain” on Sunday.  Then came the kicker.  He said, “Personally though, I hate fucking fags.”  Wow.  There’s a shining example of a small town dumb-ass fake Christian right there folks.

Oops.  I started getting a little preachy there didn’t I?  Well, that’s alright.  You know why?  Because while I was waiting on my chicken fingers to be deep-fried at the local gas station/fried food emporium last week, I became an ordained minister online.  It took about five minutes and it’s legal in most states.  So now not only can I do wedding ceremonies, funerals and the like, I can also start my own church if I so choose.  Who knows.  Maybe I will do just that.  The Preacher always did say that he thought I was called into the ministry.  Maybe my ministry will be helping the freaks and rejects, like myself and my sister, have a place to worship freely without fear of judgement from anyone other than God.

Happy humping!

P.S.  My sister drives me crazy in many ways, but I would never trade her for anything.