Tag Archive | Oral sex

Nosey Bastard

I was sitting in the living room chatting with Manwhore and Troll when my phone began ringing.  I of course looked at the number and realized who it was.  I got up to put out my cigarette and answer it and go into my bedroom.  As soon as I answered it and was heading Manwhore started talking to me.  I didn’t really catch what he was saying because I was hurrying to my bedroom.

I sat at my desk and continued talking to my friend.  Manwhore came in and asked who I was talking to.  I turned the phone away and whispered, “a friend.”  Manwhore said, “oh, ok” and walked out.

Why did he have to do that?  And I know once Troll is gone he’ll be in here asking me again who it was, was it a guy, was it a boyfriend?  It’s killing him not knowing.  OK, maybe it’s not that bad, but still…why be so nosey?

Now, to tell you about my friend who I was talking to that whole time.  The First was just that, he was my first.  He was my first kiss, my first time performing oral, my first penetration, ever.  He was the first and he was wonderful.  That was fifteen years ago.

We’ve chatted a few times since we last saw one another fourteen years ago, but not often.  Then he found me on Facebook a couple of years ago and we started talking occasionally and catching up on what was going on in each others lives.

He messaged me on Facebook tonight and we started talking again and he ended up calling me.  Talking to him was like talking to my best friend from high school.  The comfort level was still there and he was still able to put a smile on my face just like he used to.

We talked about him coming to visit me.  I hope it does work out because I really would love to see him in person again.  I’m guessing the “chemistry” will still be there, and maybe even stronger now.  We shall see!

Happy humping!

Threesomes galore!

Finally!  I’ve been promising to write about the rest of my threesomes for a while now.  So it’s finally here!

This all started when I wrote My Top 5 Threesomes.  As you can tell from the comments on that post, people asked me if I had a top five then how many were there in total.  That’s a good question and partly to blame for my slowness in writing this post.  It’s not easy remembering all this stuff.  My brain is fried on a good day and mushy banana pudding on a bad day.  I did my best to remember them all though.  So here ya go!

1.  My very first threesome was only that by a technicality.  Technically there were three of us there.  Two men (Bo & Luke) and myself.  They were two young guys that I met in Tennessee.  I had met Bo online and after talking a while, decided to invite him over to my place.  He showed up late one Saturday night with his friend Luke and we made a beer run right off.  I had to sit in his friend’s lap because his car was a two-seater.

Once we got back to my apartment I showed them around, turned on my stereo, and then they sat down on my bed.  They told me to come sit in between them, and I did.  While we were sitting and talking, Bo started giving me a back rub.  I was beyond nervous, but still managed to calm down enough to enjoy it and decide to just go with it.  They were both cute country boys and I enjoyed all the attention I was getting.

While Bo was giving me the back rub, Luke stole a kiss.  It was a very nice one too.  Then Bo started kissing my neck.  So I had Luke in front of me making out with me, and Bo behind me kissing my neck.  As Bo rubbed and kissed his hands started inching their way around to fondle my breasts.  He moved beside me so that then I had one of the guys on each side of me again.  My hands moved down to rub their crotches.  Feeling both of them getting hard at the same time was a completely new and surreal experience for me.  I knew I was enjoying it though.  A determination to see how far I could take things got the better of me and before I knew it their jeans were unzipped and cocks were roaming free.

I proceeded to jerk them both off simultaneously.  It was freaking amazing.  As I gave them hand jobs, they continued caressing and kissing me.  They came within seconds of one another.

2.  The next threesome involved my bisexual friend Rosie and her friend from college BoBo.  They were both a few years young than me, but we always had fun hanging out together.  Rosie actually confessed later on that she had a crush on me ever since we first me.  She was sweet, but crazy and childish sometimes.

Rosie had a party at her house one night and after doing a lot of drinking, smoking, and a little ecstasy, we ended up in her room after the party was over.  She was not shy and immediately started telling me to get on the bed with them.  She had already started making out with BoBo, and I didn’t hesitate to join in on the fun.

We ended up blowing him and then having sex with him.  She did a lot of fondling of my breasts and kissing me, but other than that it wasn’t anything too wild.  It was fun.  That’s all that really matters I guess.

I’ve got three more threesomes, but I don’t want this post to be huge, so you’ll just have to stay tuned for my next post. 🙂

Until then…

Happy humping!

Manwhore’s Whores: Stupid Hoe

Preach Nicki! Guess who’s the stupid hoe now!

Manwhore had Whore #11 over tonight for a little while.  They had gone out and stopped by here before he took her home.  She’s actually not bad-looking.  I even kind of thought I might like her until she opened her mouth.  She is another one with that high-pitched annoying redneck thick Cajun accent.  The accent itself isn’t that bad when I hear a man with it, but it just doesn’t sound right coming out of a woman’s mouth.

When he got back from taking her home he told me that she was a little off, as in crazy.  Oh well.  At least I won’t have to hear her talk anymore.

Other than that I’ve thought a lot lately about how easy it is to be honest about things concerning other people, but being honest with myself is the hardest thing to do.  That’s why I’m so glad to have my sister and friends like Manwhore who know me better than I know myself sometimes.

It’s also good to have my sister as a walking memory bank of my most extreme moments.  While I was up visiting with her last weekend, her friend Swamp Boy came up with his son and had dinner with us and spent the night.  While we were grilling out he said, “I didn’t know your sister was such a freak until that night at the bar.”  What?  He was talking about me being the freak by the way.  I understood that much, but other than that I was confused.  My sister said, “Yep, she was kind of wild that night.”  I asked them what the hell I did that makes me the freak.

They then told me about the night we all went out on Bourbon Street.  Swamp Boy said I saw the very hot shot-girl on the bar giving a guy a shot.  She was holding it in her cleavage and bending over so the guy could drink it.  Evidently I turned to Swamp Boy and said, “buy me a shot because I’ve gotta get me some of that.”  He did.  According to them I basically made out with the shot-girl right there on the bar, in front of God and everyone.  Holy shit!  How could I not remember that?  I know I was drunk, but damn, I didn’t think I was that drunk.  I do remember getting the shot from her, but I don’t remember any of the good stuff.  Damn.  I really need to stop drinking tequila when I go out…or maybe it was the two hand grenades.  Either way, I can’t believe I can’t remember making out with a hot black chick.

The other thing that got me to thinking about how my friends know me better than myself is that tonight Manwhore asked me how things were really going with LL Cool Bean and I tried to be honest, but it still came out a lie.  He quickly called me on it and told me that he’s not stupid, he knows I’m not totally happy with LL.  It’s true.  There are definitely things that I’ve contemplated over the last few days that really worry me, and those thoughts have made me reconsider having LL move in here permanently.  I just feel like it’s all too rushed, and we should slow things down.  I told Manwhore that and his response was that he believed I wasn’t really that attracted to LL.

I believe I told you already that LL is not the typical guy that I date, but I do really like him.  He’s a great guy, nice, considerate, generous, but he also has his flaws.  Flaws that are small, but they begin to pile up.  One of the things is that he’s constantly looking for me if I leave him alone in the room for more than five minutes.  Sometimes I feel a little suffocated.  I enjoy having my personal time and space.  He’s a little too needy and immature for my tastes.  He’s only a couple of years younger than me, but the mental maturity level between men and women is just too great sometimes.  I just don’t want to hurt him, and therefore don’t know what to do about it.

Here’s hoping that tomorrow will be a better day and I’ll have a clearer idea of what I need to do.

Happy humping!

Manwhore’s Whores: you need to crawl ‘fore you ball

Whore #9

This one came over last week and I’m just now getting around to writing about her.  When I walked in from work and saw her sitting on the couch the first word that came to mind was “Bozo.”  I swear her hair had a life of its own.  Other than that she was just the usual unattractive type that Manwhore has been dating lately.

While I was in the kitchen he asked that LL Cool Bean and I stay in my room for about thirty minutes.  Evidently Bozo was just a booty call.

When I told LL Cool Bean about Manwhore’s request for thirty minutes alone with Bozo, his reply was quite amusing.  He said, “Why? Is that as long as he can last?”  I thought I would piss myself laughing.  Not because what he said was that funny, but because he has no idea that Manwhore and I have actually dated, and had sex, in the past.  If only he knew how right he was.  I’m not saying that Manwhore was always that quick, but he had his premature ejaculation moments.

Whore #10

Manwhore told me that he had been out with this one a few times before, he had just never brought her here before.  She is Mystery Woman because I never actually got to get a good look at her.  From what I could tell she wasn’t too bad-looking, but then again she was mostly hidden under the covers.  I thought she might be back, but I haven’t seen her since that night.  Maybe he had performance issues and she decided he wasn’t the one for her.

Whore #8

Yes, the Troll is back tonight.  When Manwhore came in with her I almost couldn’t control myself.  She’s even uglier that I had first realized.  What the hell is he thinking?  Personally I think he is smoking entirely too much and it’s affecting his judgement.  I may have to arrange an intervention.  This is way out of control.  He needs professional help.

She’s staying over by the way.  It sounds like she’s hacking up a lung in there.  She’s a smoker too.  I know I shouldn’t let it bother me so much, but I know he could do better.  Hell, he did better with me…until he fucked it all up by being himself.  LOL

As for me and LL Cool Bean, things are going great.  I really couldn’t ask for anyone better, nicer, cooler, more well-hung, or more interesting.  It kind of sucks because now I am afraid that once Manwhore moves out I won’t have nearly as much to write about.

Oh, that’s another thing I haven’t told you.  Once I told Manwhore that I wasn’t in love with him anymore, he decided to make it official and tell me that he’s going to be moved out by April 1st at the latest.  He said he just wasn’t comfortable living here anymore.  Now that’s funny right there.  He’s not comfortable living here?

At first I didn’t really believe him.  After all it is about the fourth time he’s threatened to move out and stick me with this huge rent.  He always changed his tune the next day and apologized and promised he wouldn’t leave me in a bind like that though.

So after Manwhore’s little revelation I told LL Cool Bean about it and he said that if I wanted him to he would be more than happy to move in.  So, you guessed it, I said I wanted him to move in.  Now I know that it’s a bit soon for that, but when I look at the big picture it seems like the best choice.

Then shit got ugly.  It was about midnight one night and LL and I were in my room watching Farscape.  The episode ended and we started making out.  Things quickly got hot and heavy and I ended up laying on the bed completely naked while LL was lying at the foot of the bed in between my legs.  He has excellent oral skills by the way.

So as I lay there on the bed completely naked and on the verge of an orgasm, I heard the door knob turn.  Oh hell no.  Manwhore was not about to just walk right in without knocking.  Well, he was and I yelled out for him to hold on a minute.  Evidently I didn’t yell loud enough and he started to open the door.  I yelled out again for him to hold on, but by then it was too late.  He could see in and see me on the bed in the buff.

LL was livid.  Not only had Manwhore just seen me naked, although not the first time obviously, but he had managed to piss off my man and kill the mood.  He only killed it temporarily though.  Once he realized that we were in the middle of something, well, LL was in the middle, Manwhore closed the door.  I apologized to LL, but he said that it wasn’t my place to apologize because it wasn’t my fault.  He’s so sweet.  I did my best to get things back on track and did manage to get that orgasm. 😉

The next day I told Manwhore that we needed to make sure that we knock first.  I tried to be nice about it.  I knew he probably already felt weird about walking in on us.  He said that it just reinforced the fact that he needs to move out soon.  I agreed.  Having him as a roommate was fine as long as it was just the two of us, but now that I have a boyfriend and Manwhore has his whore parade, it’s just not working.  Especially now that he realizes that I will not falter from my path of monogamy, I think he’s having a difficult time dealing with the fact that he can no longer have me when he wants or ever again.

The next couple of months should be interesting.  LL Cool Bean has already been staying here full-time.  He and Manwhore have played nice so far.  I suppose that if I have to mediate at some point my .38 might come in handy.  Damn.  I need to go to the shooting range and work on my aim.  I wouldn’t want to actually hurt anyone too bad.  LOL

My new favorite song:

Happy humping!

I guess I’m not the only one with a bad memory. Or am I?

I received an email from Plenty of Fish tonight saying that I had a new message from K9.  He started out introducing himself and telling me his first name.  In one sentence he managed to put a very confused look on my face.  How could he not remember me?  I haven’t changed that much in three years.  I know, I know.  It’s like the pot calling the kettle black.  I have had my share of affairs to forget, but I definitely remembered him.  He was one of the good lays, and it’s hard to forget a good lay.

On the other hand, maybe he did he remember me and he was just trying to see if I remembered him.  Either way I’m determined to get to the bottom of this one even if it means having to meet him and have a little sexy time.  LOL  So maybe that part wouldn’t be so bad for me, and it would definitely jog his memory.  I’ve already slept with him, so it’s not like I’d be going into undiscovered territory or anything.  It would be like going back to the same vacation spot that I went to a few years earlier.  I already know where everything is, and what there is to do there.  I just have to relax and enjoy it all over again. 😉

As I read his very detailed message describing himself and his work, I had déjà vu.  I could swear that it was the same thing that he sent me three years ago when I first met him.  I guess it’s easier to create a generic opening message and send it to all the girls that you’re interested in than it is to create a new one each time.  It seems a little stale and impersonal though.

At first I didn’t know if I should ignore the message, reply and tell him who I was in hopes that he would remember, or just play along and act like I had never met him before.  When discussing it with my sister, we even discussed how I would get around the name problem if he didn’t remember me, because if I told him my name then he would remember for sure.  I kind of liked the idea of having to use an alias.  It sounded like fun.  Plus I would literally get to have a second chance at a first impression.  LOL

So I replied to his message and thanked him for contacting me and left my name out on purpose.  Now I just have to wait for his reply.  I’ll be sure to let you know what happens.

In other news, I got an instant message from Skaterboi the other day.  It was the first time that I had heard from him since I moved out in May.  Basically he said he misses me and he wants me to come down for a visit, which translates into he’s horny and wants to get laid.  That’s gonna have to be a big old fat NO on that one.  I can’t go back down that road, and besides, the sex was really bad there at the end.  It’s definitely not something I’d drive three hours for, even if he did offer to pay for my gas.

I can’t wait to see who pops back up next…Bobblehead Nerd maybe?  Or will it be someone I don’t even remember banging?  Ooooh, the anticipation.  LOL

Happy humping!