Tag Archive | Oral sex

The New Tales of a Single Ginger Preacher’s Daughter

I’ve been single again now for almost six months. Of course I’ve had the occasional “relationship” since then, but nothing serious, and certainly nothing even close to “being in love.” I’m completely satisfied with that. I’m in no hurry to get back into a serious relationship. When I was dating the Scotsman, I did start getting a little too attached though. So when he dumped me just a couple of days into January, I was hurt, and a little pissed off. Here I was taking the leap again, and trusted this guy, and he has to go and turn out to be an asshole. I’m over it now, but at the time it really bothered me.

Since kicking Buck, husband #3, out of the apartment for good, I’ve been busy working and haven’t been able to date much. When I do have time though, I’d like to spend that time with someone who is laid back, smart, funny, and sexy. So far I’ve only had very little luck.


After Scotsman, I met Redbeard on my favorite dating site, Plenty of Fish. Redbeard is former military, injured in Afghanistan, and now unemployed. Of all of those things, the only thing that really turned me off was that he’s a ginger. I know, I know, it sounds strange because I’m a ginger myself, but I just can’t help that I’ve never really been attracted to redheaded men.

I gave him an honest try though. I gave him a chance even though he’s going through a bitter divorce and has a 16-year-old daughter, and didn’t seem to have much time to come over and hang out. (“Hang out” is basically my code for have sex.) I just wanted a FWB type situation, and I stated that clearly on my profile. So when Redbeard started coming over for a couple of hours and then leaving, without having sex with me, I started getting pissed off about the situation. I got the feeling that he was only coming over to drink my beer and smoke my weed. That, my dear sir, is not acceptable. If I’m going to get a guy tipsy and high, then dammit, he’d better make it worth my while. LOL

So last Friday, after not seeing him at all for almost two weeks, I sent him a message on Facebook explaining how I felt, and letting him know that I wanted to call it quits and just be friends (no benefits). He sent me a message back two days later saying that he was sorry and had been preoccupied with family stuff, but he still wanted to try to hang out sometime. I told him that once things calm down we might get to. I don’t know how realistic that is though because I’m really not that into him.

Brendan Fraser

Saturday night, Brendan Fraser (he looks like a young Brendan Fraser…duh. lol) came over around 9:30 pm. We talked for a while and then made out on the couch. I had not yet had sexual intercourse with Brendan, but I definitely wanted to. The previous weekend he had come over and stayed for about three hours. We drank and smoked and listed to music and he ordered a pBone when we discovered that we both played trombone and I asked if he had ever seen one. (http://pbone.co.uk/) Right when Brendan was about to leave that first night, we were standing in the kitchen saying goodbye when he went to hug me and ended up kissing me. My switch turned on and I went for it. We ended up making out on the couch. I didn’t even bother asking if he wanted to go to the bedroom. Something in me took over and the next thing I know I was swallowing his load. So, once that was done he really did have to leave so we kissed goodnight and he left.

When he came back over Friday night, I was ready for a lot more. I wanted the D! LOL And I got what I wanted. I forgot to mention that he is ten years younger than me. He had a lot of stamina, and he didn’t waste any of it. I just hope my upstairs neighbor couldn’t hear me. The only thing that I didn’t like was that he didn’t stay longer. I would have loved to have gotten a few more rounds in with him. Twice was not nearly enough for me.

Doc Oc

This past Saturday night, I met Doc Oc, the optometrist. He’s older than me, but he looks younger, and he has kind of a metro sexual hipster vibe going on. I was digging it. However, when he first got here he was so soft-spoken and reserved that I kept thinking that he might get up and leave at any moment. Once he had a beer, relaxed, and saw my lunch box collection, he opened up a little. I did appreciate that even though he was on the quieter side, that didn’t mean he was shy. I like when men make the first move. I’ll do it if I have to, but I don’t always want to have to be the one to do it.

He started slowly and respectfully by holding my hand, which was sweet. Fifteen minutes later his hand was in my pants and then mine was unzipping his. We stopped there after a while though. He said he wanted to continue when he wasn’t so tired. I was sexually frustrated, but I had to accept his offer of continuing later. If he could deal with some blue balls, then so could I. But O.M.G. I was dying.

I text my sister after he left telling her that I was still alive and that he wasn’t a serial killer. I also told her that I was in trouble with this one because he made my heart skip a beat…and that shit hurts! I have a heart condition! LOL I have a very strong feeling that he might just be the muse I’ve been looking for.

So…it’s only Monday. I have to wait until Saturday to see Doc Oc again. I hope I make it that long. Between the chest pains and the horniness, I might die. We will see. I will (or my sister if I die) update you on what happens. 😉

Until next time…

Peace, love, & happiness.


Don’t piss off the nerdy girl

A week ago I told you that I had let  my husband Buck back into the apartment.  After nearly a week of him staying here, I finally kicked him out permanently on Saturday.  He had started moving his stuff out on Friday, but he messaged me that night asking if he could stay here because he had nowhere to go.  I agreed because as angry as I am with him, I don’t want anyone to be out on the street.  Damn my moral convictions and good-hearted nature.

0d6He bought a new cell phone a few weeks ago and his old cell phone was left here, so I had hidden it for later use.  I was able to hack into it and found out everything and anything I could ever want to know about his evil doings.  That is when I originally kicked him out on the 17th.  Then on Saturday I was looking at it again and found text messages between him and the little meth-head whore mistress that he had been seeing.  He had promised her that when he got his school refund check he would buy her a new laptop, get her internet installed, a day of shopping, and an ounce of weed.  Another text said that he had to take me to lunch to get $50 from me (I thought it was for gas, food, etc.) and he was bringing it over to her.  MOTHERFUCKER!  He was taking my hard-earned money and giving it to this whore, and no telling how many other people, just so they would beat his ass and make him eat shit and piss and perform oral on them.

I found out so many other things too.  Evidently he has done things behind my back ever since we moved here. He’s also been meeting up with men that he finds through Craigslist ads and other gay hookup and bondage sites.  What really pissed me off is when I saw that he had been getting fucked in the ass.  I was pissed off because for two years he’s been telling me that I couldn’t fuck him with my strap-on because of his hemorrhoids and he just couldn’t have anything in his ass anymore.  MOTHERFUCKING LIAR!

cheating_husband-1506624There are so many things wrong with what he was doing.  The first is that he had no respect for me and my safety. He not only was having unprotected sex with multiple people (as in dozens or more), but he was letting them into our home when I wasn’t here.  He even had ads posted on Craigslist advertising that he wanted men to come over and fuck him and the door would be unlocked and he would be blindfolded and ready.  OMFG!  What if I had come home early?  What if one of these men had shown up when I was here alone?  I don’t even feel safe in my home anymore.  I never know when some psycho is going to see his pictures (with name and address) online and just show up at my door.  Or worse yet, what if someone I know finds his disgusting pictures online.

I know this is just one big ugly angry rant, but that’s what I need now.  I thought that I would never hate someone as much as I hate my first husband who was a total liar and scam artist.  I was wrong.  I hate Buck now more than I’ve ever hated anyone.  He is not only a liar and a cheater, but he is also a depraved disgusting human being who cares about no one but himself.  I would wish for something horrible to happen to him, but I think that’s going to happen no matter what.  Everything he does moves him closer to a horrible lonely death.

unfaithful-spouses_555Since I can’t kill him, I decided to destroy him in other ways.  So far I have deleted most of his online sex/dating/hookup profiles and his “secret” email accounts.  Lets call it, a little push in the right direction.  Also, since he even lied to his mother about why we are splitting up, I told her the truth.  He told her it was NOT because he had been unfaithful.  I let her know that was far from the truth.  It’s a start I guess.

I can’t write about everything he’s done in one post, so I’m going to stop here for now.  Thanks for reading.



Sexy Blog Award

Sexy Blog Award


Rules of the Sexy Blog Award

1. Post 5 sexy suggestions.

2. Post a link to your sexiest blog post.

3. Nominate 5 other sexy bloggers.

4. Let your nominees know they’re sexy.

5 Sexy Suggestions:

  1. On a week night when nothing is really going on and you have no plans, get all dolled up in a cute dress and just lounge around like it’s no big deal.  You’ll feel sexy and relaxed.  Plus it should only take about an hour for your  man to come over and start getting flirty and acting like a love-struck horn-dog.
  2. Smile.  Nothing is sexier than a happy smiling person.
  3. Guys like to be complimented too.  So don’t ignore the fact that he’s looking extremely hot today.  Let him know, and just watch his face light up.
  4. Give porn a chance.  Ladies, you might think that porn is degrading or just plain gross sometimes, but your man doesn’t think so.  If you really want to show him you care, then pop in a porn and watch it with him sometime. 😉
  5. Two words.  Oral sex.  There’s nothing sexier than a little 69 action or just blow jobs and eating out a girl.  Remember, give and you shall receive!  Sharing is caring!  LOL

My Sexiest Blog Post:

Embers of Love & Lust: Playing with Fire

5 Sexy Bloggers:

Snarky Snatch

Women are from Mars


Sex and the City (China)


Thanks to vloves for the award!

Happy humping!

Fat Tuesday

Today is Fat Tuesday and the end of Mardi Gras in New Orleans.  I can’t say I’m sad to see it go, considering my car got towed because of it.  I’m not shedding any tears.

My day started out great.  Manwhore and Troll left early this morning.  I was alone in the house, and was able to go out on the balcony to enjoy my coffee.  Then Art sent me a text asking if I wanted to go out for breakfast.  I of course said yes.  He sent me another text later saying that he was on his way and in full Mardi Gras regalia.  I had no idea what to expect.

About half an hour later he shows up and rings the doorbell.  I go downstairs to let him in.  I open the door and there he is.  Oh sweet baby Jesus.  I about lost my breath, wet my undies, and had butterflies come flying out of me all at the same time.  He was wearing blue jeans, boots, a black sleeveless t-shirt, a whip coiled and tucked into a belt loop on his right side, and a red military-looking jacket that had all kinds of stuff on it and a picture of a vampire on the back.  He looked like a damn rock star with all that plus his curly blond hair topping it all off.

He explained to me that it was his lion tamer costume, or as my sister later called it, his lioness tamer costume.  Get it?  I’m the lioness.  LOL  It probably took me at least five minutes to stop mumbling and stammering every time I tried to speak.  I think just about the only thing I could say was “wow” repeatedly.  Once I had recovered I of course just wanted to skip going out for breakfast and make him my breakfast in bed.  He was hungry though, so we went out.  (I’m still drooling just writing about him in that costume.)

As we were walking around, we walked through the back of Jackson Square where there were musicians playing and there was a woman in a belly dancer outfit doing something resembling a dance.  We stopped to listen and watch for a minute.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder.  When I turned around my face went pale and I froze up for a few seconds.  It was LL Cool Bean.  He said hi, I said hi, and then he said, “I thought you said you didn’t like crowds.”  Wow.  That’s all he could come up with?  He saw me standing there with Art, who was holding my hand at the time.  He gave me a weird look and then Art spoke up and told him that we were just going to get some breakfast.  I think I half-assed introduced them to one another.  Thank God for Art though, because he promptly led me away from LL.  I was petrified and at a loss for words after that, so I didn’t mention it again to Art.  I could tell that he knew what was going on.  So there was no reason to discuss it further.

While we were walking Art asked if I had plans for this weekend.  I told him that so far I don’t have any plans.  He told me that he goes to see his three kids every other weekend and asked if I’d like to go with him this weekend.  Hmmm.  I didn’t really know what to think of this.  I should have at least asked where he stays when he goes up there.  It’s five and a half hours away.  Without really thinking it through I said that I would like to go.  I panicked afterwards when I realized that he might actually want to introduce me to his kids.  That terrifies me.  Kids and me don’t always mingle well.  It’s always a toss-up whether or not they will like me.  Oh well.  Too late now.  I’m in for another interesting weekend.

After breakfast we came back to my place and watched some of the parades and rested our tired tootsies.  We cuddled a little and ended up naked again, but I still didn’t get all of what I was looking for, which surprised me.  I thought we had cleared things up, but apparently not.  My sister’s suggestion is to take plenty of lube and condoms next weekend, because if we stay in a hotel then I will have time to figure out what the real problem is.  She may be right.  I’m willing to try anything at this point.

So Mardi Gras is finally almost over, and now I have to try to calm myself down before this weekend.  Something that probably won’t help is that I’m supposed to go hang out with Art again tomorrow while he works.  Dear Lord, I hope he doesn’t wear that jacket again tomorrow.  I’d hate to have to molest him in public. 😉

Well, there’s an hour and a half left before they shut down Bourbon Street, and it’s time for me to get some sleep.

Happy humping!

I need a little sugar in my bowl

Valentine’s Day may have been full of confusion and disappointment, but the rest of the week was so much better.  You all were right.  Communication is the key to understanding what the hell people are thinking and avoiding confusion.  Manwhore decided that he was going to move in with his new “girlfriend” and he let me know via text last weekend.  I told him that was fine as long as he paid me back for the deposit on the apartment.  He agreed to that, so overall I had no problem with him moving out.  I’m not particularly fond of having to find another apartment and move again, but I’m sure I’ll find something in this area that I can afford on my own.  I’m sure as hell not moving out of New Orleans now that I’ve met Art.  I want to at least see where it goes and I also like my new job.  So the Whore Parade may be over, but that’s certainly not the end of my new life in the Big Easy.

I went to hear Art play and sing at a local bar Wednesday night.  Yes, he’s a musician too, not just an artist.  He’s a very well-rounded gentleman.  He even dedicated a song to me, Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain.  My eyes are green, not blue, and I wasn’t crying, except maybe from laughter, but it was raining.  😉  He did a great job on it either way.  It’s not very often that I have a song dedicated to me, so I was ready to pounce him after that.  Even though he did tell me to raise my hand so everyone would know who I was, and he announced that I was a huge Willie fan.  That wouldn’t have been so bad except we were in a bar full of mostly gay men, so of course the double entendre was not lost on them.  I’m sure I blushed, but it was all good.  When he told them that I had “a room full of Willie,” which referred to a conversation he and I had when he came over to my place the first time, someone yelled out, “So you’ve been in her bedroom already huh?!”  Everyone laughed.  I don’t mind a laugh at my expense every now and then. 🙂

After he got through performing he sat down with me and a friend of his and we had a drink and talked.  His friend had warned me earlier that Art was to be cut off after three glasses of wine because any more than that and it would be like Art amplified.  I didn’t see how that could necessarily be a bad thing, and it turned out that it wasn’t.  He’s just funnier and hornier.  Those are never bad things.

I was sort of anxious to see his place because he had been to mine but I still hadn’t seen his yet.  I was curious to see how my little starving artist lived.  He had warned me that it was sort of a hole in the wall.  We left the bar and went to his place.  It really wasn’t that bad.  He said he’s renting it from a friend of his who is also an artist.  There is all sorts of artwork all over the walls and it has a very New Orleans hippy feeling to it.  I like it.  It didn’t take us long to end up naked and doing things that would make Madonna blush.  To be completely honest, I Continue reading