Tag Archive | mistress

Love & Sex Q&A #87

87

Love & SexIf one day you were to learn that several years earlier your spouse had deceived you by having a brief affair, how do you think it would change your relationship?

The trust would be gone for me.  Eventually I might recover and be able to trust the person again, but they would have to earn that trust.

Now, for my side of things.  I’m a hypocrite when it comes to cheating.  I hate to be cheated on and I will leave any man who cheats on me.  However, I have been a cheater and have only been caught once.  To me that time that I got caught didn’t even really count because I had just met the man who caught me cheating.

Prior to my cheating on my ex-husband I never considered myself to be the cheating type.  It’s hard to cheat when you’re never with any one person long enough to be committed.  I was a player and I liked it that way.  I like variety and I got what I wanted.

After cheating on my ex-husband I got caught in a vicious cycle and became a serial cheater.  I felt like no man deserved to have me all to himself, so I did whatever I felt like doing, with whomever I felt like doing it with.  I was too good in the sack not to share my talents.  While dating one man, I’d throw in a one-nighter for good measure, then move on to the next man.  While with that man, I’d find someone to have a little fun with on the side.  Even when I was with Bobblehead Nerd, I cheated on him with Continue reading

To be or not to be the mistress.

 

Madame de Pompadour, mistress of Louis XV of France, circa 1750

That is the question for today.  When I was twenty-one a very good friend of mine, and fellow preacher’s kid, set me up with an older married gentleman who was looking for an arrangement of sorts.  He was in search of a mistress.  I met with him for lunch one day to see how we liked one another and to discuss the details of the arrangement.  Afterward I decided that I was not the mistress that he was searching for and very politely told him that I was not interested.

Again I’ve met an older gentleman, soon to be married, that is searching for the perfect mistress.  To him this means a woman who is younger, pretty, intelligent, funny, and understands the boundaries that come with being a mistress.  When we discussed it he made it sound like more of a business arrangement than an affair.  It would be purely physical and financially beneficial for both of us due to the fact that I can offer certain business services that he is needing.

I believe that any good relationship will have its benefits, whether they be financial, sexual, emotional or otherwise.  There is always a reason why we are attracted to others and why we want a relationship with them.  If there were no benefits to being in a relationship then why would we do it?  Just because this man is offering me financial and business perks along with a steady sex life, does that make it any less of a relationship?

My difficulty in making a decision here is that I am not entirely heathenish, I do have morals and a conscience that talks to me occasionally.  I’m still unsure of whether I could actually go through with this type of arrangement, as tempting as it may be.  The thing that I do admire in this gentleman is his honesty and openness with me about what type of relationship he wants and what he would expect from me.  Going into a relationship knowing that I will be the other woman somehow sets my mind at ease.  There’s no worrying about whether he is cheating because I already know he is, with me.  Also I’m left with the option of seeing other men because how can he expect me to be monogamous if he’s not.

The only problem I can foresee is the involvement of feelings.  If he gets to be too attached to me, falls in love with me, wants only me, that could be a big problem.  It’s easy to say that there won’t be any hard feelings or heart-break if I find a man who I want to marry, but what about her, the main woman in his life?  She could end up hurt and that I’m not comfortable with at all.  Not to mention any possible suitors that I may have would also have to remain unaware of the fact that I was a “kept woman” and I don’t like having to lie to people.  It only causes problems.

So I suspect that my dreams of being a “kept woman” will just be put on the side yet again and I will continue my search for my morally acceptable relationship with Mr. Right.