Tag Archive | Marriage

Dear Mom, please stop praying for me.

rezar-pray-spanish-englishWhile I was at work this morning my mom called.  Normally she doesn’t call much at all, and especially during the middle of the day.  The last time she called me at work it was to tell me that my grandfather had died.

I answered and she said hello and then asked if my uncle had called me to get my address.  He hadn’t, but my sister did text me last night asking for it.  She didn’t know why my uncle wanted my address, so I’m hoping he’s sending me a very large belated birthday gift, or something like that.

She asked how I had been and I told her I had been sick, but I was back at work today.  Then she wanted to know what was wrong and I told her it was just a stomach bug.  In a very accusing tone that always makes me nervous, “Are you sure that’s all it was?”  “Yes, ma, that’s all it was,” I said like a fourteen year old who had just come home past curfew.

vibratorShe then proceeds to tell me, “You know we’ve been praying for you, right?  Or we were, when we thought you might be getting married.”  Wow, mom.  Thanks for that.  My response?  “Well, you need to stop.”

So when my mom thought that Teacher and I might be getting married, she started praying for me to get pregnant.  She knows we broke up, or rather, he dumped me over four months ago.  So why would she still be praying for me to get pregnant?  Does she think that’s the only way I can get a man to stay with me?  By trapping him?  I’m afraid to even ask her.

Either way it freaked me out, because that’s just what my mom does.  My eye immediately started twitching after I hung up the phone.  I was supposed to call her back tonight, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I don’t need a man, and I don’t need a baby, especially a cute dumb baby with Mr. 7am.  What I need is a raise, a car, and a really good sex toy (see photo and link on right).

When I told my friend Sheldon about this, he agreed that Mr. 7am would probably love it if I got pregnant.  I, on the other hand, would have a panic attack.  So here’s hoping that mom has stopped praying for me, finally.

Happy humping!

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Memorial Day Musings

roseSo here I am at work, contemplating life’s wonderfulness and thanking the universe for sending me Teacher, and in walks Car Wash Guy.  In between contemplating and daydreaming, I was also doing some work for Bossman (who I’m not happy with right now, but I’ll explain that later).  So I was able to ignore CWG for a few minutes, but eventually he asked me a question about a camera and I had no choice but to acknowledge his presence.  After he asked me about the camera he quietly asked if I had changed my number.  I told him that I had and it was because I got a new phone from Bossman.

Then CWG said something odd.  He said, “I got my divorce.  She cleaned me out.”  Wait.  What?  I don’t remember him being married.  I’m pretty sure I would have remembered that.  When I questioned him about the married part he said, “Yeah, I told you I was in the middle of a divorce.”  Well, ok, whatever.  However, I swear I don’t remember him telling me any such thing.

He asked if I still had his number.  I lied and said I didn’t.  It’s probably still in my phone, because I’m too lazy to delete numbers.  So when he asked for my number I told him that I was seeing someone.  He quickly said, “Oh, ok, I’m sorry.”  Then he pretty much just left.  Thank God.

As I said, I had been contemplating and daydreaming before CWG came in.  So after he left I Continue reading

Manwhore’s whores: Not me!

This has been an insane week.  I almost started to think it was Pop-Up Men time again, but it seems to have stopped at two.  (I didn’t count Harry because he showed back up last week.)  It started out with, are you ready for this?  Manwhore.  Yes, the very same Manwhore who got married to the Chicago Gold-Digger less than two months ago.  At first I thought it was going to just be a text asking me to do some website work for him or something, but I was wrong.  I was very wrong.

man whoreManwhore sent me a few texts and then told me that he would be back down here in about a week.  He asked if I wanted to come see him while he’s back in town.  I was in shock.  Has he really started cheating on her this soon after getting married?  And if so, then why?  Instead of wondering, I asked him.  He said that he hasn’t cheated on her.  This confused me even more.  Why would he take that step into adultery with me of all people?  His answer?

I’ve just always at some point seen you and we ended up fucking.

How’s that for disturbing?  After all this time, and all my progress in trying to move on and get past that chapter in my life, he still thinks he can just pop up and I’ll come running to fuck him.  Well, surprise, surprise…I’m not that weak “girl-in-love” anymore.  I answered:

“It’s taken me a long time to get over you.  I think it would be counter productive for me to come and fuck you now.”

I know it’s probably not the anger-filled reply that you might have expected, but I was trying to take the high road and be as polite as possible about it.  There’s no need for me to stoop to his level anymore.  I have overcome!  This is real progress folks!

The next man to pop back up was my second ex-husband, The Ox.  I know I haven’t told you much about him, and I plan to rectify that very soon, but here’s what happened this week.  I was at work Wednesday and got a text from The Ox.  That isn’t unusual.  We still text each other occasionally, and I still consider him a friend.   However, this text was different.

“Would you wanna get back together?”

Keep in mind that The Ox and I have been divorced for almost five years now.  We were only together a total of four years.  Even though I loved him, I have to admit that it was a doomed relationship.  When I got that text from him, I didn’t know if he was joking with me or being serious.  He has a tendency to be very sarcastic and never very serious about anything.  So I asked him if he was being serious.  He said that this time he was.  I told him that I didn’t think it was a good idea, and that some things are best left alone.  Again, I tried to be as nice as possible with my rejection text.

Why?! Why would anyone want this?!

Why?! Why would anyone want this?!

Maybe the universe is just playing some sick joke on me.  It can’t be normal for men to keep going back to a woman from their past like this.  Is it?  I sometimes wonder if I radiate some kind of vibes, or pheromones, or something, and I don’t realize it.  There has to be an explanation for it.  Maybe it’s just the power of the pussy that keeps them coming back for more.  That sounds conceited, I know, but don’t forget…I’m the Cock Master.  😉

Happy humping!

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Old Habits Die Hard

*This is probably the tenth version of this post.  I keep starting and then stuff keeps happening. LOL

Well, I did it.  I finished reading my first book in fifteen years.  And that book is Fifty Shades of Grey.  Sad isn’t it?  The ending just pissed me off.  Then my sister told me that I had to read the second book for it all to make sense.  So I started reading Fifty Shades Darker and was somewhat appeased, if only temporarily.

I got a few chapters in, and just got bored with it all over again.  I do declare though, that I will finish these damned books if it’s the last thing I do.

Moving on.

Damn it all to hell!  I’m so frustrated with myself and with men.*  It’s my fault.  Maybe the monogamy thing isn’t for me after all.  I don’t say that because I’ve recently cheated on anyone.  In fact, I made it a point to tell the person I’ve been seeing that monogamy is very difficult for me and that I probably wouldn’t be able to do it given my history with men and relationships.  Actually why I told him that was because I still had high hopes that I would still get to see “the one I really want” occasionally.  That hasn’t happened though, so I’ve been forced to move on.

It is even more difficult for me to stay monogamous when I’m not in love with the person who I’m seeing.  When I’m with someone I am in love with then I rarely feel the need to check out how much greener the grass is on the other side of that imaginary fence.  Since there is no fence, and all the grass around here seems to be dead, I’m just going to graze wherever the hell I want.

*I noticed earlier in the week that Endymion had removed me from his friends on Facebook.  I sent him a message asking it he was upset with me.  His reply?  “I’m not anything with you. You might as well live in China.”  That made me a little sad to think that I had probably hurt his feelings by not coming to visit him since I moved.  He does know of at least one time that I’ve been back to New Orleans since then, but I didn’t tell him it was to visit my “friend.”  It’s probably a good thing that he unfriended me though.  I seriously doubt I’ll ever move back to N.O. and while it was fun, that chapter is over.

To hell with monogamy

Since I’ve been thinking about monogamy a lot lately, it seems only fitting that I finally gave in and agreed to meet the Golfer for lunch after four years of his messaging me.  When I first met him back in 2008 I was freshly divorced, but he was married so we didn’t do a lot other than making out.  I guess the guilt of cheating on my ex-husband made me more inclined to not help someone else become a cheater.  So I quickly put an end to our little affair.

He is a persistent man though, and I suppose he just finally caught me in the right mood and I gave in.  I met him for lunch last Monday.  I still hadn’t planned on doing anything with him, but things happen.  Hormones kick in.  Lust takes over.  You know the rest.  What I remember most was how he kept saying he was being Continue reading

Bad Harry! Bad, bad Harry!

Before my heart stops racing and before I go on a binge breaking things…

This morning I was to meet Harry for breakfast at the local Huddle House.  We met.  Now I’m at work and ready to spit nails into someone’s tires.

When I got there he was already sitting in the booth.  I sat down, we ordered, and he just stared at me and smiled.  I told him about our tenants moving out, and about the possible buyer on the house.  When I mentioned that I just hate not knowing how long I’ll be here and what is going on, he had kind of a weird guilty look on his face.  I knew something was up.

Then he said, “There’s something that I wanted to talk to you about.  I should have told you last week, but I couldn’t.”  Great.  What now?  Then he went on to tell me that his friends had talked him into giving it another shot with his wife, and he had moved, as in really moved, back in with his wife, but he really likes me and wants to keep seeing me.  WHAT THE HELL?

This is EXACTLY what I told him I didn’t want to happen.  I told him in the beginning that I didn’t want to start seeing him and then have him turn around and decide he was going back with his wife or ex-girlfriend.

I feel like an idiot.  I saw the red flags, and I chose to ignore them.

Any way, I told him that I refused to be the “other woman.”  If he wanted to try to work things out with his wife, then he should do so and give it his all…with no girlfriends on the side.  I even told him that I hoped things worked out for them.

All he could say was that he was sorry.

Sorry my ass.  I didn’t even eat my breakfast.  My appetite was gone.  I brought it back for my sister to eat instead.  From my pain, comes her gain.

I’m trying to remain calm about all this, because I didn’t even really have anything vested into the relationship yet, but it still pisses me off.  Deep breaths and happy thoughts….

On the bright side, now I have something to write about.  And…I no longer have evil thoughts about how I should stick around here.  I still owe you an explanation on why I probably shouldn’t move back to New Orleans, but I’ll post that in a separate post, soon.  (Just so you know, I would really, really like to move back to NOLA.)

Happy humping.