Tag Archive | Manwhore

Your Presence is Requested…

I got a text from Manwhore’s business partner yesterday telling me that a map on one of the brochures was wrong.  She asked nicely if I would fix it and then upload it to Vistaprint again.  Since I’ve already been paid for the work, I agreed to fix it.  I know I said I was finished working for Manwhore, but because it was her and not him who contacted me, I agreed to do it.

I got it done and then logged in to their Vistaprint account.  On the front page of the website it always shows a link to your portfolio after you log in.  It also shows the most recent item that you’ve created.  I noticed a very nicely designed invitation card.  When I clicked on it to see an enlarged image, my jaw hit the floor.

Chicago Gold-Digger & Manwhore

Request the Honour of Your Presence At Our

 Wedding 
 ***
December 12, 2012
at 12:00 noon
Yep, you read that right.  He’s doing it again.  This will make unhappy number 7.  Honestly, I don’t know what to say about this new tidbit of information.  I can’t say I’m surprised.  I’m only surprised he didn’t do it sooner.  However, I will be surprised if he actually makes to the 12/12/12 at 12 wedding.
Regarding Chicago Gold-Digger, I can only say that she is a very savvy gold-digger.  Certainly marrying the man who cheated on you, gave you a disease, and who you kicked out after (due to your gold-digging) he ended up broker than the ten commandments on a Sunday morning, now that takes balls and brains.  Here Manwhore is with his newly found riches, just waiting to run back into your money hungry arms, and you open your legs wide and freely.
What will be really interesting to find out is whether he invites me to the wedding.  LOL
Happy humping my friends.  Happy humping.

Manwhore’s Whores: Stood Up

Oh, tonight, tonight, what to say about tonight?  It was a warm beautiful night in the Quarter and Manwhore and I went out to a local karaoke bar.  We were supposed to meet up with a potential Whore.  She was supposed to be there at 7:00 pm.  About 7:15 pm she sent him a text saying that she was trying to find parking.  While we were waiting he jokingly said that if she shows up and she’s ugly then he’s going to disappear and will just meet me back home.

At 7:45 pm she was supposedly parked and walking from about 10 blocks away.  Come 8:00 pm, she said she was three blocks away.  At 8:30 pm she still hadn’t shown up and wasn’t answering his texts.  At 9:00 pm she said she was in the bar.  Not true, or if it was true then she wasn’t looking too hard for us, or either she didn’t look anything like her pictures.  Manwhore was very frustrated by this point and was ready to leave, so we did.

Once we were home he got a text from her saying that she was at the bar, had sung a song, and was waiting on him.  By this time we both thought she was full of shit and just fucking with him.  He told her to lose his number.

At 10:00 pm we’re home and Manwhore’s backup hoe, Troll, showed up.  While she and Manwhore were on the balcony smoking, guess who showed up at our doorstep?  Yep.  The wanna-be whore who stood him up earlier.  She was downstairs calling his cell phone.  He wouldn’t answer of course because the Troll was right there on the balcony with him, and Troll is spending the night and going home in the morning.

Manwhore made it a point to come to my room and tell me that she was downstairs and was really pretty.  He was pissed.  Here he is stuck with the Troll now when he’s got a perfectly decent looking hoe downstairs, who even though she’s a crazy bitch, she’s here nonetheless.  Haha!  Oops, did I say that?  Fuck it.  LOL  What goes around, comes around, one way or another.

So, now he’s stuck with Troll for the night.

Happy humping!

Saturday Night Random Thoughts

1.  I turned on my Pandora and  “I Like To Move It” by Reel 2 Real was the first song that played.  I get a tingly feeling when I hear that song.  It brings back one particular memory of when I was living back in Alabama.  I was 22 years old and living with my cousin, Elvis, for a few months.  Well, he isn’t actually my cousin, but we didn’t know that at the time.  That was during the pre-DNA-test time period.  During that time I found out that he was going through a sexual identity crisis.  In other words he had started having sex with men and thought he might be gay.  He later decided that he was not gay, got married, joined the marines, and had a couple of kids.  Could have fooled me, but to each his own.  I still wouldn’t be surprised if I see him on a TV talk show one day confessing that he’s been having sex with men on the “down-low.”

Anyway, while I was living there I met a friend of his who was a few years older than me.  Prior to my arrival in town, the guy, Frat Boy, was actually infatuated with Elvis’ twin sister and they had hooked up a couple of times.

One night when she was working Elvis and I had a little party at our place and Frat Boy was among the guests.  We got a little flirty that night, but nothing really happened other than us getting drunk and dancing our asses off.   The song “I Like To Move It” was one of his favorites and I’ll never forget how he would dance to it.  Imagine a preppy 90’s frat boy dropping it like it’s hot and doing the booty bounce.  Oh my, and he did have a nice booty.  I love a man with a nice ass.

Later that week, while Elvis was in his room sleeping, Frat Boy and I were hanging out watching a movie and somehow ended up having sex on the living room floor.  It’s such a nice memory.  He wasn’t perfect or particularly great at it, but I felt so naughty that I couldn’t help but enjoy it. 😉

2.  There are some very strange people in the French Quarter.

3.  Whore #8, the Troll, was back over here Wednesday and Thursday nights.  When she first came in with him I just sort of ignored them.  I wasn’t too surprised that he had her back over, but then again, not much that he does surprises me these days.  I woke up Thursday morning and he told me that she was staying here while he went to work.  He claimed he woke up too late to take her back home.

She stayed all day and then that night.  I woke up Friday morning and they were on the balcony smoking.  Just before LL came in from work, Manwhore and Troll left.  I guess he overslept again because he called her a cab to drive her the thirty-plus miles back home.  Now that’s some expensive troll-pussy.

4.  I feel so uncomfortable when I’m laying on the couch watching television, Manwhore is also there, and then LL Cool Bean walks in and joins us.  It’s like my whole body involuntarily tenses up.  Is it because I’m afraid LL will see Manwhore look at me the wrong way, or because I’m afraid I’ll slip up and he’ll find out about my past with Manwhore?  The hell if I know.  Maybe it’s all the above and then some.

5.  Since we’re talking about Manwhore already… The song “Without You” by David Guetta just came on and reminded me of something that happened earlier.  It’s more of an association once removed.  That song came on the radio when he and I were out driving around looking for an apartment back in November.  When it came on he turned it up and looked over at me and smiled his oh so charming, yet completely transparent and devious smile.  I’ll admit it made my heart skip a beat, but you have to remember, I was still in love with him at the time.  As I told you just over two weeks ago, I had a major breakthrough one night and actually turned Manwhore down for sex.

Tonight though, LL had left for work and I was laying on the couch watching a movie.  Manwhore was on his bed and was also watching the movie.  He started talking to me a little, which is more than we’ve talked all week.  I was a little surprised that he was being so chatty with me considering we had a rather nasty yet short argument Thursday night.

As I looked at the television I could see him out of the corner of my eye.  Every now and then he would get quiet and I could tell he was looking over at me.  I found myself actually enjoying the fact that his gaze kept turning towards me.  Secretly, I think I almost liked the thought of him wallowing in lust and confusion, wanting me, but knowing he can’t have me anymore.

Then it hit me.  I could easily have sex with him if I wanted to.  It wouldn’t have to be anything other than sex, just fucking, nothing more.  Even I know that’s impossible though, especially on my end.  I may not be in love with him anymore, but I do still love him.

Just the thought of having him inside me one more time made me horny though.  I’m not sure if it’s that I had a moment of weakness and actually wanted him, or the possibility of being able to get away with it, or the feeling of power that I get by knowing that I’m the one in control now.

Then reality set in.  After the parade of whores that I’ve seen come through here over the past two months, I don’t want his dick anywhere near me.  God only knows what’s crawling around in his sheets.  Thank God for moments of clarity and the temporary boosts of willpower.  Because without them, I might be in bed with him right now, instead of writing this post.

It’s late, and I’m sick, so Happy humping and goodnight!

Manwhore’s Whores: Well that was just gross.

Oh my God.  Every time I finally get the chance to sit down and write something, something else happens and I have to start writing a whole new post about what’s going on right then before I forget or lose my momentum.

Tonight I started working on my “The Rest of My Top Threesomes” post when five minutes in I heard what sounded like someone choking in the next room.  It was Whore #4 and Manwhore was evidently fucking the shit out of her.  Great.  Now not only do I have to see them I have to hear them fucking too.  That’s just disgusting.

Now that they are done fucking, I have to hear her drunk trashy ass telling him to fuck off.  I don’t even want to know what caused the conversation to take such a nasty turn.  Maybe it’s just the bottle of wine she drank while she was getting higher than an Alabama whore’s hemlines.  Or maybe it’s just me.  LOL

I just cannot seem to stress enough how trashy this woman is.  Oh! And to top it off, when she got here she had a friend with her who was even trashier and even more inebriated.  That potential whore hurried herself on out to the bar to get even more wasted.

As I write she’s still bitching at him about something.  I just heard him tell her, “Well fuck you.”  What a great relationship those two have.  OK.  I can’t take any more.  I’m putting my headphones on now.  Kanye take me away…

I love my life.

Oh, and the Troll was back over last night.  I held it in as long as I could, but when I had a moment alone with Manwhore in the kitchen the other night I just had to let a little of my pent-up commentary out.

Me:  You are such a whore.

Manwhore:  You’re one too.

Me:  I know I am, but you take it to a whole…new…level.

Manwhore:  (staring at me and smiling)

Me:  (As I stood there smoking I had a wonderful idea and laughed out loud.)

Manwhore:  What’s so funny?

Me:  I had a great idea.  I’m gonna make a t-shirt for you…well, for your women.

Manwhore:  What’s it gonna say?

Me:  “I fucked Manwhore and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.”

Manwhore:  Really? (laughing)

Me:  Yes, really.  We could pass them out at the door as they leave.  Of course you’ll have to order them in bulk.  What sizes will we need?  Troll and whore?  (laughing myself silly)

I’m so bad.  LOL

Then he proceeded to try to get me to sleep with him.

On that note I’d like to show you my latest CafePress creations and ask for you to please join me in spreading the message of love and whoring to all the world.

Order yours today! LOL

And for you other Manwhores out there…

That’s all for now folks.  Thanks for reading and as always…

Happy humping!

Love & Sex Q&A #87

87

Love & SexIf one day you were to learn that several years earlier your spouse had deceived you by having a brief affair, how do you think it would change your relationship?

The trust would be gone for me.  Eventually I might recover and be able to trust the person again, but they would have to earn that trust.

Now, for my side of things.  I’m a hypocrite when it comes to cheating.  I hate to be cheated on and I will leave any man who cheats on me.  However, I have been a cheater and have only been caught once.  To me that time that I got caught didn’t even really count because I had just met the man who caught me cheating.

Prior to my cheating on my ex-husband I never considered myself to be the cheating type.  It’s hard to cheat when you’re never with any one person long enough to be committed.  I was a player and I liked it that way.  I like variety and I got what I wanted.

After cheating on my ex-husband I got caught in a vicious cycle and became a serial cheater.  I felt like no man deserved to have me all to himself, so I did whatever I felt like doing, with whomever I felt like doing it with.  I was too good in the sack not to share my talents.  While dating one man, I’d throw in a one-nighter for good measure, then move on to the next man.  While with that man, I’d find someone to have a little fun with on the side.  Even when I was with Bobblehead Nerd, I cheated on him with Continue reading