Tag Archive | humor

Pirate Play

So it turns out that Redbeard is less this…

pirate

And more this…

Ghost_of_Redbeard_(Go_Away_Ghost_Ship)

He sent me the following message tonight:

“Hi, sorry for the slow response. Just been doing alot of thinking. It’s time we need to say goodbye. I’m not mad or upset, just wanting more than fwb. I hate to do this via messenger but I don’t even have your number. I really like you but you just don’t want what I want, and that’s ok. Your a cool lady and I hope you find what your looking for. Goodbye, Miss [Ginger].”

Without really thinking it through, I immediately replied:

“Ok. I’m not surprised. I figured you’d dump me before your birthday. Good luck. Bye.”

That was the end of our communications.  Either I’m a damn ice queen now or I really just don’t give a fuck anymore.  It’s kind of nice.  I think I’m finally becoming an ADULT!  Just kidding.  That’s never going to happen.

I’m just not ready for husband #4.  I don’t mind dating someone, but what’s the rush?

I’ve finally got a job that I love, a groovy apartment, a great family, and the internet.  How could I possibly need anything more?  This living single shit is awesome.  I don’t have to wait to get into my own bathroom in the mornings.  I don’t have to rush.  I don’t have to make my bed if I don’t want to, and if I do, it’s because I honestly do want to.  I don’t have share the closet!  That’s a big plus.

I smoke, I drink my sweet tea, and I watch any damn thing I want to watch on television.  Life could always be better, but for right now, this is pretty pretty pretty pretty good.

Until next time…

Peace, love, & happiness.

me_128_bigger

Snippets

Manwhore: “I really do love you. You’re like my family.  I can’t say like my sister though, because I wanna fuck you.”

Manwhore: “I don’t know why we’re not together.  We get along great, have fun, can talk about anything…  Well, I know why we’re not together…”

Me:  “And why is that?”

Manwhore:  (After a few seconds of silence & a confused look) “Hmmm.  I don’t know.”

Me:  LOL

Fallen Angel:  “You should have seen all the crazy coupon clippers in Winn-Dixie today buying up all the paper towels.”

Me:  “Is there a flood coming?”

Fallen Angel:  “You really should try this iced coffee.  Little Bubba loves it.  He was walking around saying ‘Can’t find my toffee momma.  Find my toffee.’  He’s running laps around the house now.  I don’t know why.”

Me:  “Gee, I wonder. LOL”

Stay tuned for my next installment in the “[Something] with the Preacher’s Daughters” series.  (Remember “Woodworking with the Preacher’s Daughters” & of course “A night out with the Preacher’s Daughters: Parts 1, 2 & 3“?)  I didn’t forget that I’m supposed to let you know how the trip went with Momma, Fallen Angel & Little Bubba.  It’s gonna be a good one! 😉

Happy humping!