Tag Archive | Human sexual activity

2015: The Year of Bliss Attacks

light-in-the-confessionalIt’s been two months since my last confession post.  Buck and I have since moved to another state and have begun our little life together.  Originally the plan was that he would just move to be with me, and he did.  Once he got there though, I brought up the idea that maybe we should move back to his home state.  It made sense for several reasons, but the main one was that he wouldn’t have to pay out-of-state tuition. He also would be close to his family and friends.  Of course I knew I’d miss the friends that I had made in Podunk, Mississippi, but it also meant I would no longer have to see Teacher on a regular basis.

Teacher and I have become friends since he broke up with me in March of last year, but it was still a little awkward at times, especially once Buck arrived and was hanging out with me all the time.  Getting over the breakup with Teacher wasn’t easy, but I was proud that I had eventually recovered and moved on.  It’s not always easy to move on though when you have to see your ex-boyfriend every other day.  So moving to another state seemed like a blessing in disguise.

So there was a lot of driving back and forth for Buck.  He had to go home for Christmas without me while I stayed in Mississippi and worked through the end of the year.  My last day at work was the last day of 2014.  It seemed a fitting end to a crazy year.

tiny carBuck came back after Christmas and on January 3rd we moved.  It hasn’t been easy, but it’s been great. I had to leave 80% of my belongings in a storage unit in Mississippi because it wouldn’t all fit in his tiny car.  His car still looked like a tiny clown car once we had stuffed it to the gills with my clothes and necessities.  By necessities I mean some shoes, clothes, computer, silverware, one (just one) plate, my Monkey, and one Willie picture (my 1980s autographed album promo poster of Willie Nelson).  There were some other random things thrown in, but no furniture other than one large metal shelving unit and one small metal shelving unit.  They only made it in because they could be taken apart and thus didn’t take up much room in the car.

When Buck went home for Christmas he rented us an apartment that I had found online.  That was at least one less thing we had to take care of once we got to my new home state.  I’ve met his family, most of them anyway, and everyone seems to like me, which is a relief.  Now I’m just doing daily job searches and applying for every office-type job I can find.  He starts back to school in another week, so he’s been busy getting all that in order.

Now for the part that I haven’t really mentioned yet.  Buck and I have something in common.  We both like the D.  By D I mean dick.  Yes, he likes having sex with both men and women.  This is the point where I don’t really know how to explain things very well.  I feel like it’s important to share this information though because it’ll make things easier to understand in my future posts.

So, yes, he’s bisexual, but so am I.  I just consider myself to be more attracted to men than women.  So it’s not an issue, especially since we have an understanding.  The understanding is that we can have sex with other people as long as both of us either know about it, or both of us are present and/or involved in the act.  Hopefully that will clear things up a little.  If it doesn’t feel free to comment & ask any questions you might have.  Because at this point I’m unsure about how much detail I should give here.

He knows about and has read the blog.  I’m sure I’ve said before that I would never let another boyfriend know about the blog, but how often do I really follow my advice?  I think that’s why I’m so shy about writing certain things though.  It’s as if I’m afraid of betraying his trust or confidence.  I know that’s not true though because I asked him how he felt about it and he’s not worried about what I write.

That should be enough for now.  Hopefully at least everyone knows that I’m still alive and didn’t get murdered or abducted by the mysterious Prince Buck Charming.  So, yay! 🙂

Oh, and do I have some stories to tell. 😉  And you thought things here would get boring once I settled down and fell in love again.  Bazinga!

Peace, love, & happiness.

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Viagra: The Great Deceiver

thingThing was a former body builder in his late forties.  His hobbies included going to the gym daily, eating 8,000 calories a day, working, and playing with firearms.  His arms were huge by the way, and his ass was hard as a rock.  Just picture the Thing, but without all the weird rock skin.

His personality wasn’t as satisfying though.  He was not what I’d call exciting by any means.  He was nice and somewhat talkative, but that was about it.  On our first date we drank several beers at his house while he cooked dinner.  Actually I think he went through a full case, but he is a big guy.  The date started early in the afternoon.  We went out to the woods and he let me shoot his .22 (that’s a hand gun 😉 ) for a while.  I killed an empty beer box, so that was fun.  Then we went back to his house.  By the time we got to 5 o’cock he started making his move.

I was fairly tipsy by then so I just went with the flow.  Actually I kind of attacked him…in a good way of course.  My hormones had been in overdrive and he seemed like a good outlet.  We made out for about ten minutes in his kitchen and I finally just asked him if he wanted to go to the bedroom.

Once we got to the bedroom he stripped me down, then he stripped down and I got to see him in all his musclebound glory.  Unfortunately the muscles were the only impressive things about him.  He was ok though.  We had sex, then I fell asleep.  About an hour later I woke up to him pulling the covers off of me and getting ready for another go.  Afterwards, I fell asleep again.  Another hour later, yep, you guessed it, he was back for round three.

After round three I thought surely he’d let me get more than an hour of sleep.  He did.  He waited two hours until wanting round four.  By then I was exhausted.  I managed to get another couple of hours of sleep before rounds five and six.Viagra-Ring-Results

As I lay there after round six, I couldn’t help but wonder, WTF dude?  He’s almost fifty years old and just came six times in less than 12 hours.  I was so tired that Viagra hadn’t even crossed my mind.  I was tired and sore and couldn’t think straight, so I slept.

He took me home the next morning.  He had to take his mom to church.  It was Easter Sunday, the day that I have chosen over the years to celebrate my debauchery at it’s finest.

Five days later he came over to my place.  We didn’t waste much time getting into the bedroom.  Naturally I thought it would be like last time.  Not that I wanted another sex marathon, but one good time would have sufficed.  That didn’t happen.  He came within three minutes.  I, however, didn’t, at all.

He headed to the bathroom after he finished, so while he was in there I got dressed.  I tried to lead him back to the living room and towards the door because at that point I just wanted him to leave.  He did.

So, after consulting my sister on the matter, we decided that Viagra, or the lack thereof, must have been to blame for that second “date” disaster.  Shame on you makers of Viagra.  You got my hopes up and then sent them crashing back down.

Happy humping, and humping, and humping, and humping!

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Silly men, Craigslist is for real whores

I’m sick of not being able to write whatever I want just because I’m afraid to offend or piss people off.  I’m mostly referring to Teacher.  My last post about what has been going on with him was on April 20th.  Quite a bit has happened since then and it’s past time that I get some of this crap out of my head.  I have an unhealthy tendency to bottle my feelings up inside until I can’t hold it in any longer, then I explode.  So before I do that I’m just going to go ahead and let it all out in a healthier way.

The day after that post on April 20th I started getting weird emails on my phone.  I have an email that I had set up last year for a project that I was working on with Teacher.  So we both had the email address set up on our iPhones.  I quickly realized that the emails were being sent to that address because Teacher had mistakenly replied to Craigslist ads using that email address.

In case you're wondering, I have no problem posting this pic that one of the whore's sent because even if she's not a whore, she shouldn't be sending naked pics of herself to people because they might end up on my blog or worse.  At least I cropped out her face.

In case you’re wondering, I have no problem posting this pic that one of the whores sent because even if she’s not a whore, she shouldn’t be sending naked pics of herself to people because they might end up on my blog or worse. At least I cropped out her face.

The ads that he replied to were personal ads for whores.  The real kind, not just the slutty kind.  At first I just sat in shock reading the emails.  Then I sent my sister a text telling her what was going on and asking if I should just change the password on the email account.  She wasn’t much help.  She just shared my shock and disbelief.

As I was going through the emails that kept coming through, they suddenly disappeared from the inbox.  He had realized his mistake, well, one of them at least, and deleted them.  It was too late though because they had already downloaded into my Microsoft Outlook.

I finally sent him a text that said, “Really? You’re willing to pay for sex with a whore, but you wouldn’t fuck me for free?”  He replied back apologizing, saying that he was just curious, he never cheated on me, and he guessed he was as much of a piece of shit that I wrote about on my blog.  Then he ended it saying, “Yeah this is embarrassing and awkward.  But I guess I deserve it.”  I couldn’t even reply after that.  I never called him a piece of shit by the way.  I don’t think I even ever thought about calling him that.  A selfish immature prick maybe, but not a piece of shit.

The next day, after stewing over what had happened, I sent him a text.  I suggested that he not read my blog any more.  That was it.  I was done.

The next day he asked if we could meet for lunch and talk about all this.  I agreed to meet him.  Unfortunately I don’t think it helped much.  Right off he wanted to say that he wasn’t going to actually meet any of those women, he was only curious.  I didn’t have much to say.  It was all I could do just to sit there and drink my tea and not break down crying.  I didn’t even want to look at him.  Because no matter what he thinks, I do still love him and I would have done anything to make it all go away and just go back to us being happy in our little cottage.  I’m not delusional though.  I know that can’t happen, mainly because he doesn’t know what the hell he wants, but it sure as hell doesn’t seem to be me.

So after that awkward lunch date, I thought maybe we could at least just stay friends, even if I wasn’t able to be around him yet without feeling like my heart was being ripped out of my chest all over again.

MjAxMy02ZjFkNTU0NmNjYTg5ZWRThings seemed to be going OK for a few days.  He even let me use his van to pick up some groceries and stuff I left at the house.  Then on Saturday, a friend and I went to the local bar/restaurant to hang out, drink some beers, and listen to the music.  The problem was that Teacher and Jacket were providing the music.  I actually knew that before we went.  My friend also knew that Teacher would be there.  It was sort of part of the plan.

A friend had told me Friday night that it would probably be good for Teacher to see me out with another guy.  I guess she meant that it would prove to him that I am capable of moving on and going out and having fun.  My guy friend was really cool about the whole thing.  He knew what was going on, and he agreed that it would be for the best.  It turned out to just be stressful and awkward though.

Teacher did come say hello during his first break, and yes, it was awkward.  Then later he came back again after some other people had sat down with us.  Then after the show I was sitting with CoolGal and catching up because I hadn’t seen her in a while, and she started telling a funny story about the night her sister was obsessed with my hair and kept touching it.  Teacher had come up behind me and started demonstrating.  Once would have sufficed, but he kept doing it.  To the point that it became uncomfortable, but I didn’t want to say anything in front of everyone, plus I was so tensed up that I probably couldn’t have said anything at the time.  He finally stopped and then left not long after.  I did however send him a text later that night telling him to never touch me again.

So that’s what’s been going on in my world.  It just keeps getting crazier and more stressful.  Let’s all take a moment to pray that things start getting better.

Happy humping! (But don’t take naughty pics unless you want the world to see!)

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The case of the missing condom

Late Easter Sunday night my phone rang.  It was my sister.  “Hello sis.  So…Bitchboy came over tonight,” she said.  Bitchboy is her new plaything.  He’s a 28-year-old self-absorbed redneck who is quite possibly bisexual.  He’s cute though, and therefore fun to play with.  So he went over to her house last night and they had a little play time.  Evidently half way through the condom came off.  Of course my first question was if the condom was too big for him.  She swears that wasn’t the problem.  Since they were half way in through they didn’t bother looking for the condom right then.  He put another one on and kept right on going.

surprisedwomanAfter they finished they started looking for the missing condom.  It was nowhere to be found.  They checked the bed, under the bed, under the pillows, and still couldn’t find it.  Then it dawned on my sister, and Bitchboy, that the condom might still be inside her.  Not knowing what to do, Bitchboy pulled out his phone and started Googling it.  He found out that if the condom is not removed rather quickly, it can cause an infection.  So she went to the bathroom to go on a condom hunt.

She couldn’t feel it or find it.  The condom must have been deep inside, and she assumed it was because he was hitting the “back wall” if you get my meaning.  He must have pushed it so far in that she couldn’t reach it on her own.  The only other thing to do was either to wait and see if it came out on its own, or go to a doctor to have it removed.

Funny-condomWell, once Bitchboy left my sister called me and told me what had happened.  At first I tried to be supportive and helpful, even doing my own Google search.  I could tell by the tone of her voice that she was a little worried and even more embarrassed, but we were still able to laugh about it.  Especially when I asked, “How in the hell do these kinds of things happen to us?”

I really didn’t know what to tell her or what advice to give her.  The only thing I could suggest was for her to do jumping jacks to try to jog it loose.  Unfortunately, she said Bitchboy had already suggested that.  After some more research I found a page that suggested propping one leg up high on a counter or something so that the condom can more easily be retrieved.  So it seemed that yoga may be the answer…or not.

Fuck-Yoga

Since neither of us had any good ideas about how to retrieve the missing condom, we decided it would probably be best if she just had a drink and then went to the doctor the next day, if it hadn’t made an appearance before then.  I said goodnight and good luck.

Seven minutes later she sent me a text that said, “Got it!!!”  I guess the jumping jacks worked.

Happy humping! (Never stop searching.)

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The men who fooled the Preacher’s Daughters

My sister, Fallen Angel, suggested that I write this post, since lately we’ve both been fooled by men.  Her tagline to the title was “Almost but not quite extinct.”

I told you in my earlier post, Welcome Back to the She-Woman Man-Haters Club, that her boyfriend, WR, had been caught being a two-timing bastard.  Unfortunately, as we suspected, his story about just helping that girl out turned out to be a lie.  He finally admitted to her being his live-in girlfriend.  He tried to weave another story about how he was trying to break up with her, but he had helped her get a car in his name, and he was afraid to kick her out because he can’t afford the payments on his own.  There are so many things wrong with that story, true as it may be.  So, he’s not only a liar, he’s stupid too.  Men will do stupid things for pussy.

I know I’ve had my share of fucked up relationships, but I really did think that Teacher was one of the good ones.  I couldn’t have been more wrong.  It’s been very easy for me to replace my heartache with anger.  That’s probably because of my confusion.  I still don’t fully understand why he would just dump me, even though he claims it was because my depression was bringing him down.  Was I really that depressed?  Why was he not willing to try to work things out once we both realized that I was completely oblivious to his so-called attempts at affection?  We could have communicated better.  We probably could have saved the relationship.

Unless, that is, he had already made up his mind that he didn’t love me and he could do better than me.  If he didn’t love me then I really was fooled by him.  He never gave me any reason to suspect that he was the type to cheat, and he didn’t even give me any reason to ever be jealous.  If anything, he made me feel unloved and unwanted by not spending time with me other than sitting on the couch.  He never asked me to go anywhere other than his gigs, and even those he stopped asking me to go to.

There were times, mostly gigs during the week, that I told him I couldn’t go to because I just couldn’t be out until 2:00 am when I had to work the next day.  I have a good job and I am trying to keep it.  The last thing I needed was to go in to work tired and hung over.  Maybe he felt that I wasn’t supporting him because I wasn’t going to all of his gigs like I used to, but when I was going to all of them, I wasn’t working a full-time job like I am now.

I’m not trying to win him back.  Understanding is all I want.  I’ve already gone past being able to trust him enough to allow him back into my life and my bed.  I’d rather have a stranger in my bed than someone who has proven themselves to be selfish, uncaring, and untrustworthy.  I’d rather have no one in my heart and my bed than I’d have Teacher back in my life.  I may have had many men in my bed and my life, but very few have actually worked their way into my heart and soul like he did.  I would have stuck by him through almost anything.  In fact I did.  When he told me he was being sued by his ex-girlfriend’s husband, I didn’t flinch.  When he didn’t want me to get a car because of his enormous student loans, I held my tongue and dealt with it.  When he told me that he had never hidden his profile on Plenty of Fish because he used it to make connections for his music and gigs, I stupidly trusted that he was telling me the truth.

Some things are just unforgivable, and breaking my heart is one of those things.

I promise I’ll get back to telling stories about sex and debauchery soon, but for now I just need to vent.

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