Tag Archive | family

Life goes on, man.

thedudeSo, I’m still alive.  After my last post I had to wait a few more weeks before I could see the cardiologist.  The only problem was that I still didn’t have health insurance and I knew the follow-up visit with the cardiologist and any further testing was just going to put me further in debt.  I had checked into “Obama care” but it was outside of the enrollment period so I was running out of options.  However, if you have a “qualifying life event”, such as a marriage, you can enroll outside of the enrollment period.  So that’s exactly what I did.  I asked Buck if he would go ahead and marry me so that I could get the health insurance.  Very romantic isn’t it?

When I called the Preacher to tell him, I hesitated because this is marriage number three for me and I was afraid he would think I was making anther mistake.  However, when I was telling him about the insurance and how I had to have a “qualifying life event” such as a marriage, he immediately asked, “So when’s the wedding?”  Oh, Daddy.  You’re such a softy.  He knows me so well, and at this point in our lives he doesn’t even bother to question my motives or actions.  I do love that Preacher Daddy of mine.

weddingpicAnyway, because Buck didn’t want me to die and because we were eventually going to get married anyway (I assumed), he agreed and on June 11, 2016, I became a married woman, again.  We planned on going to the courthouse and having a quickie wedding, but his mother wouldn’t allow it.  We ended up having a nice little, and I do mean little, wedding on the back deck of her house.  There were a dozen people there and that included the bride and groom.  My family couldn’t make it due to the short notice, so it was mostly Buck’s family.  My boss lady did come to support me though.  She’s a sweetie.  She even made me a gorgeous bouquet to match my dress.  Speaking of my dress, it wasn’t an actual wedding dress.  It was a white 50’s style dress with a pretty print of cherries and little yellow flowers that I found on Amazon.com for a whopping $25.   I wore red shoes to give it that extra little pop. 🙂

this-is-your-ordinationSo after the wedding there was no honeymoon, just a super short reception and then back home to hang out with our Dude and our Red-Headed Step-Child.  Our Dude is literally our “dude” (you know, the guy you buy your herbs from).  He also is an ordained priest in the Church of the Latter-Day Dude.  (I HIGHLY recommend having your Dude perform your wedding ceremony.)  Our Red-Headed Step-Child is our friend who is a manager of a clothing store by day, and a Drag Queen by night.  She’s Buck’s friend who originally thought I was a crazy stalker luring him to Mississippi to show him my nonexistent shrine to him and then steal his kidney.  Needless to say, they are two of my favorite people.

Now that we’re married it’s time to get back to me…my heart I mean.  I went to the doctor and she told me that I needed to have a heart cath in order for them to find out for certain whether I had any blockages in my heart.  I had that done last Thursday.  They put a tiny tube in a vein in my right wrist and then up to my heart.  I was somewhat medicated so I don’t remember it all, but I assume they shot some dye in, looked around, and saw that there were no blockages.  However, while they were poking around, my heart decided to do it’s crazy arrhythmia thing and they had to give me a shot of something to get it back to normal, temporarily.

So now my wrist is all bruised up and it’s sore, but I’ll live, I hope.  I have a follow-up visit with the doctor on Friday to find out what they are going to do about my wonky heartbeat.  It’s not supposed to be life threatening really, but it’s bad enough to cause me to have lots of chest pain and make me weak and tired all the time.  I’m hoping they are just going to go back in and stick a pacemaker in me and get it over with.

beautyschooldropout

I may work in a Beauty School, but I am no Beauty School Drop Out. Also, I think this should be my Halloween Costume this year. 🙂

Until then I’m keeping my nitroglycerin pills handy and trying to keep my stress levels low.  That is easier said than done of course.  My job is insane and my co-workers are equally insane and the students like to test my patience and sanity.  I will get through this though, just like everything else.  Even though I may hit bottom, many times, I always make my way back up to the surface long enough to catch my breath.

Until next time…

Peace, love, & happiness.

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Waking the Sleeping Giant

So I had an interesting weekend.  Saturday night I went to the local watering hole to hear some music and hang out with DC.  I had a great time hanging out and talking to her.  I almost didn’t go though.

I was supposed to go out with Woody on Friday night, but his motor home broke down on the way back from the coast.  So I didn’t hear back from him until about 4:30 am Saturday morning.  He then had to go to work, so our plans were pretty much shot yet again.

After a call from DC on Saturday afternoon, I decided to go out instead of wasting the weekend sitting at home.  So I got to the bar, had a seat, and ordered a beer.  While I waited for DC to arrive I glanced around the bar.  There was a big table of people at the other end of the bar.  I noticed one guy standing by the table and I sort of thought I caught him looking at me, but I wasn’t sure.  I was trying not to stare, but at the same time I was trying to figure out why he looked familiar.  I didn’t know if maybe I had seen him on Plenty of Fish, or if I had just seen him there at the bar before.

A little while later, DC arrived and we ended up going outside on the patio to smoke and talk.  We went through some of the profiles of guys who had messaged me on POF, and DC either gave them a thumbs up or a thumbs down.  As the night went on, and as they closed up, a couple of friends, the owner, and some of the staff joined us on the patio.  What I didn’t really notice at the time was that the guy from earlier was there sitting across from me.  Finally it was time to call it a night and DC gave me a ride home.

The next morning I woke up to my phone buzzing and vibrating.  As I usually do first thing when I wake up, I grabbed my phone and checked the number of emails, texts, Facebook alerts, etc. that were waiting for me.  Of course I also checked my POF app icon & it showed that I had a message waiting.  So I checked it first, thinking it would probably be more entertaining than anything else.

The message said, “I hope if I speak u won’t parade my pics around like the other guys u did tonight.  Is my age a problem?  My name is Airman I was at the bar tonight and would have spoken but u were with a friend.”  He had messaged me at 12:47 am.

HK boyshortsAfter a short WTF moment, I messaged him back.  Then he wrote, “Btw not to sound terrible but I noticed your Hello Kitty panties last night when you got up one time and I must say it’s kind of a turn on cause it’s something different.”  I couldn’t help but to laugh.  I did have on my black boy short undies with the hot pink “Hello Kitty” band at the top.  I didn’t know that they were peeking out the top of my jeans when I got up though.  Then he told me that the reason he noticed my undies was because he checked out my ass numerous times that night, and there’s something about a grown woman in cartoon panties that is a turn on.

Well, who am I to argue with that?  If this 26-year-old guy wants to come over and hang out in hopes of getting another peek at my Hello Kitty undies, then bring it on!

About 7 o’clock Sunday night, Airman showed up to my apartment.  He was cuter than I remembered, and beefy, very beefy.  Here I was in my living room with a guy almost fifteen years younger than me and all I could think was, this is going to be awkward.  See, I’ve been with younger guys before, as you all know, and I suppose I have high expectations from them.  I was spoiled by Endymion and Thord.  They were both extremely cool in and out of the bedroom.  How could this hunk of man candy possibly live up to my high expectations?

Well, it turned out that he’s a very nice guy, was in the Air Force, did a tour in Iraq, very laid back, and dammit if he didn’t have a very talented tongue too.  The guy could kiss, really kiss.  It wasn’t too sloppy or too aggressive.  It was great.  I had absolutely no complaints until he fell asleep, and he slept, and slept, and, oh my God.  Was he ever going to wake up and leave?  I watched tv and rubbed/scratched his back while he slept.  (He has a very nice firm back and butt.)

Eventually I grabbed my phone and sent my sister a text.

text 1As you can see, she was not much help.

Thirty-five minutes after that last text, he woke up and I told him that I needed to go to bed.  He gave me a kiss goodbye and went home, and I went to bed and passed out.

Today I got a text from Airman.  He said, “U want to hit replay tonight?”  As much as I wanted to say yes, I knew I had laundry to do and I was just exhausted from a long day at work.  I had to tell him that tomorrow night would be better.  He tried hard to get me to change my mind, but I wouldn’t give in.  Then he sent me another text, but I can’t even post that on this blog.  It was flattering and graphic all at the same time.  I’ll just say it wasn’t the first time I’ve been exuberantly complimented on a certain part of my body.  It made me feel both shocked and all tingly inside at the same time.

So he’s coming back over tomorrow night.  It should be fun! 😉

Happy hump, hump, humping!

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Adventures in Wholesale

I’ve started a new section called “Quotes from Fallen Angel” because my sister sent me the following story tonight and I told her she deserved her own section on my blog.  So here it is!  Enjoy!

At work the other night Friend Cashier said that Bitch Cashier said she’s called.  I asked “Called what?!”  (Bitch Cashier really is a bitch by the way.)

“To preach!” replied Friend Cashier.

I snorted and said, “Well, I was called to be a pole dancer, but it didn’t work out.”

Five minutes later the hysterical laughter ended and we went back to work.

That is courtesy of Fallen Angel, my funny as hell sister.

To see more of her quotes, please click on the link on the menu at the top of the page.  Also, I have added a donate button on the right side of the blog.  If you would like to help support the plight of the Preacher’s Daughters please do so.  There is no minimum amount required.

Poor Little Bubba needs some financial security and 25% of all donations will go towards his education.  We want him to be one of the smart successful ones in the family one day.  Another 25% will go to our little brother The Tornado‘s education.  The other half will go towards buying sex toys for me and gas for Fallen Angel’s monster truck.  LOL  Just kidding.  I don’t use sex toys. 😉

Dinner and a Funeral

Just when you think the year couldn’t start out any worse, someone dies.

I went to the fertility doctor on January 2nd and was told that the only way I’d ever have a child was if I underwent in vitro fertilization and used donor eggs.  The worst part was when the doctor told me that it would cost around $20,000, which I don’t have.  So I had to abruptly give up my dream of having a child.

Of course adoption was briefly discussed as an option, but at this point I’m not sure I even want a child any more.  Teacher would be willing to go that route if I wanted to, but even adoption can be expensive and be a very long process.

That was not a great way to start the year.

I could have gotten over that relatively easily and moved on with my life, but then things got worse.  The following Monday, my mom called me at work & left me a voice mail message.  My grandfather had passed away earlier that morning.  It wasn’t completely unexpected, but then again, it was.  We knew he was not doing well, but I had no idea it was that bad.

You may remember my post about him that I wrote entitled “Grandpa got run over by a gold-digger.”  I loved my Paw Paw very much, but he did a very stupid thing when he married that woman.  She did turn out to be a gold-digger.  Even worse she turned out to be an evil bitch, or as my mother called her, “the devil.”

I drove to Alabama the day of the funeral.  My sister, cousin, nephew, and I rode together and went in together.  We attempted to go through the line and see Paw Paw one last time, but alas the devil woman was standing there beside the casket.  So we ended up walking away before we even got all the way up to her and the casket.  Neither my sister nor I wanted to have a confrontation with her or her daughter, so we thought it best that we move along.

The rest of the family didn’t arrive until just before the funeral started.  Our side of the family was ushered in first.  About twenty minutes later her side was ushered in and seated.  The aisle may as well have been the grand canyon.  We didn’t look over at them, and they didn’t look over at us.  It was possibly one of the most uncomfortable situations I’ve ever been in.

The funeral service itself was strange and oddly impersonal.  No one really talked about my grandfather’s life before his second marriage.  In fact, they really didn’t talk about his life much at all other than what a great businessman he had been.  I thought they would have at least asked my dad to say a few words, but they didn’t.  The only speakers were my grandfather’s business partner and the pastor of the church that my grandfather had attended a few times in recent years.  They didn’t talk about his childhood, his service in the military, his life with his wife of nearly fifty years, or his children.  It was even more depressing than a funeral normally would be.

Once the service was over, everyone headed outside to their cars to get in line for the procession to the cemetery.  My family had decided that they were not going to attend the graveside service, and instead we were going to go have a late lunch.  This was mainly to avoid being close to the devil woman and her family.  Since weddings and funerals are the only times that we are all together in one place these days, lunch seemed like a good idea.

All 20+ of us were sitting at this long table and the waitress comes up to ask if we needed anything.  She then says that we all look really nice and asked what the occasion was.  My sister, sitting beside me in the middle of the long table, looks up at the girl and says, “See that guy sitting at the end of the table?  He just got out of prison today…and it’s his birthday.”  All of us within earshot about choke on our food trying not to laugh. The poor girl gets wide-eyed and says in a surprised tone, “Oh.”   We all giggle.

Then my uncle, the man at the end of the table, looks up and says, “What? Are y’all talking about me?”  My sister looks at him and says, “Yes, we’re just so glad to have you home.”  He replies, “Oh, OK.  Thanks.”  We all bust out laughing.

texaspeanutsNot wanting to keep the poor girl standing there any longer thinking that we are all insane, my aunt speaks up and says, “We actually just came from a funeral.  Our father died.”  The girl looked relieved and then offered her condolences.  We told her not to pay us any mind because we’re all a little crazy.

We tipped her very well.  Maybe she has a blog somewhere and wrote about the crazy day she had serving a bunch of nuts to a bunch of grieving nuts that just got out of jail.

Paw Paw would have been proud of us for just being together and being able to laugh and reminisce.  He was a man with a great sense of humor and a great big kind heart.  He will be greatly missed, whether the devil woman likes it or not.

Oh, and one last thing.  Before he passed away, he asked my sister what she thought Maw Maw would say when she saw him in Heaven.  He said, “I think she’s gonna tell me what an idiot I was for marrying “devil woman.”  My sister agreed with him and they laughed.  Personally I think my grandmother didn’t say anything.  I think she just slapped him and then gave him a big hug and a kiss. 🙂

Happy humping!

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Supermoons, bitches, and wheelchairs

montrealWow.  What a month.  First of all, Bulldog quit.  Bulldog was the guy who replaced Hamster about a month and a half ago.  I can’t say I was too surprised to find out that he had found a better job and was moving on.  I also can’t blame him.  Hopefully I’ll be following him out soon.  Secondly, Bossman hired another guy who quit the day before he was scheduled to start.  Lastly, I found out this week that yet another new hire turned in his notice.  He started on Monday.  Bossman is not having the best of luck when it comes to keeping employees.  Sadly to say, for him at least, I will be leaving soon too.

I had a second interview with that company, but still haven’t heard anything.  I’m still checking out other job leads in the mean time.  Also, I thought I had found a cheaper apartment, which would have allowed me to move sooner, but that fell through.  It’s ok though, because that first apartment is still available. 🙂  Now if I can just save enough cash for the rent & deposit I should be ready to move.

Speaking of saving cash…my sister told me Monday that she’s moving next week.  The Preacher is coming down to help her move.  All I can say is thank God!  She’s been driving me crazy.  The house is a disaster area, her dogs brought fleas into the house (and they only seem to bite me and Little Bubba, not my sister), and between paying the power and water bills by myself I haven’t had any money left over to save for my move.

I got a call yesterday about another job prospect.  I’ve got an interview on Monday.  Maybe I’ll actually get this one.  In the mean time I’m taking advantage of having a week of paid vacation.  I scheduled it over a month ago in the hopes that Teacher and I would get to go somewhere.  It turns out that he’s Continue reading