Tag Archive | Engagement

Love & Sex Q&A #84

84

Love & SexIf a month before your wedding your wealthy fiancé(e) suggested drawing up a prenuptial agreement specifying the financial terms of any divorce, how would you react?  What kind of terms do you think would be fair in such an agreement?

First of all, if I had a wealthy fiancé I would not be worrying about a prenup.  Prenups are for punks and gold-diggers.  I’m neither.  If a person has money and is more worried about it than their relationship then they just shouldn’t get married at all.  I have no problem living in sin.  I’ve done it for years, with a few different people.  Believe me, it’s easier to leave a person when you’re not married to them.  Marriage is serious business and should be treated with respect.

I believe that you should get out of a marriage what you put into it.  If you go in with nothing, earn nothing during the marriage, then decide you want a divorce, you get nothing.  If you are getting divorced due to extenuating circumstances such as infidelity or abuse, the “victim” should get at least half of everything.  I know it’s not always black and white with divorce, I’m just giving suggestions.

LOL Just divorced. And no, that's not my car.

Image via Wikipedia

Personally, my first marriage to the Con Artist was a disaster and it took me eight years to get my divorce from him.  He refused to sign the divorce papers, help pay for the divorce, and in the end the Preacher had to help me get a lawyer and get the divorce without the Con Artist’s signature.  I left that marriage with nothing more than my clothes, a wrecked credit score, and a new life in NYC.

My second marriage wasn’t as bad.  I lived with him for two years, was married for two years, then divorced three years ago.  I also left this marriage with next to nothing and more bad credit thanks to his sporadic employment mostly due to his anger management issues.  I’ll admit that in that marriage I was ultimately at fault because I cheated on him.  I’ve never considered myself a cheater, but people do strange things when they are starved for attention.

As usual I’ve strayed from the real question.  Ultimately, I’d be willing to sign a prenup if I really loved the person and knew that they loved me enough to want to marry me.  I would however make sure that there was an infidelity and abuse clause in the agreement.