Tag Archive | Drugs

Love & Sex Q&A #101

Love & Sex101

Does the thought of physical force during sex excite you in any way?

Being a woman who has had sex forced upon me I do not find it exciting.  I find it demeaning and cruel.  When I was 22 I was slipped a date rape drug and woke up not able to remember what had happened.  I only knew that something had happened and I was violently ill for three days afterwards.

Then there was the time in NYC when a guy forced anal on me.  There have also been other times when men have tried to penetrate me analy and I had to make them stop.  Even a couple of times I have had vaginal sex and something about the angle was bad and painful and I had to tell the guy to stop.  Most men do stop when you tell them that they are hurting you, but some men don’t.  Some men have told me that “it’s supposed to hurt.”  I beg to differ.  If it is painful then I am not enjoying it and do not want to continue.

I will confess however that a few years ago I got into playing Second Life online, and found some very strange areas to explore.  There are whole “neighborhoods” set up like inner cities or other scary areas where you can role-play being raped or forced into sexual acts.  I did try it a few times, but overall I was not turned on by the things that people would say when role-playing during these scenarios.

I think it was mostly just curiosity that made me want to try it.  Having been raped and forced into doing things that were painful may have caused me to have a heightened interest in it.  I’ll leave that for a therapist to decide one day.

Happy humping!

17 days until I turn 37

Today marks the 17th day before I turn 37.  As I move closer to 37 my mind wanders.  What are the things that I love and hate the most about myself?  I’m going to use these last 37 days to find out.


I love that I’ve been good at writing in my journals over the years because without my journals I wouldn’t be able to remember half of the shit that I’ve done and that’s happened to me.  I have been going through some of them searching for names of people and I’ve realized that I did way too many drugs or something.  My memory is awful.

I hate that I so easily forget the names and faces of many of the men that I’ve been with.  Some of them I don’t even remember having sex with at all.  Again, thank God for my journals.

Happy humping!


Late Night Thoughts

Mission Accomplished

Neil Patrick-Harris as Dr. Horrible

Mission accomplished, well, one at least.  After spending all day on the phone with Dr. Bitch’s office and the pharmacy I finally got my refills.  After talking to the doc’s office again she told me that I absolutely had to make an appointment and come in, and that I could not have a refill for even enough for up until my appointment.  I had explained the situation to the lady in detail and could not believe what she told me.  Can they even do that?  Can they make me go weeks without my medicine?

I quickly told the woman, “I will be by to pick up my medical records later this week because I will be finding another doctor.  I would rather pay another doctor than Dr. [Bitch] because I never liked her in the first place.”  I said thank you and hung up.  Yes, I was snappy and rude to her.  At least I have a valid excuse this time.

I immediately called my Dr. Nice.  I was seeing him for two years before I moved.  (Reminds me of some of my romantic relationships.)  His office is three hours away.  (Again, this reminds me of some of my romantic relationships.  I like to keep them just within driving distance.)  I called and explained my situation and his nurse was happy to phone in a refill for me and scheduled me an appointment for next month.  Tomorrow I will have enough medicine to last me until I can see him, and it gives me time to come up with his fee.  His fee is more, but well worth the extra cost.  He’s a nice doctor.  I’ll refrain from saying what I’d like to say about Dr. Bitch.

So…I managed to elude the psych ward for one more day.  Yay!

My Top 5 Threesomes

Frankly my dear, I don’t do threesomes anymore, but I do have a top five list.  I’ll try to put them in chronological order to be fair, but my memory is a little foggy for that time period so they may not be exactly in this order.  What?  You can’t believe that I’ve had enough threesomes to have a top five?

1.  Do, Re, Mi It’s a Threesome!

I described this one in an earlier post My Top 5 Most Memorable Sexual Encounters.  One Easter Sunday my gay/bi best friend and I were hanging out at the pool getting loaded and high and somehow ended up calling a friend of mine that I had been casually dating and we asked him to come over.  After going out to a girls & guys strip club we went back to the apartment and had a threesome.  I don’t consider it a full-fledged threesome only because I was not penetrated vaginally.  See I can use the proper terms sometimes.  That was my first male-male-female threesome.

2.  My First Female

My first female-male-female threesome was with a girlfriend of mine Barbie and her boyfriend Ken.  I had met her online and she finally asked me if I would like to hang out with them sometime.  One night I went over to Barbie & Ken’s apartment and we had a few drinks.  We immediately got down to the business of discussing what was about to happen between the three of us.  I won’t go into detail as it was pretty boring.  I would like to make it clear that I seemed to be the center of attention which was nice.

3.  The One That Shouldn’t Have Happened

This one is rather embarrassing.  I was hanging out with my friend Chiquita, a former stripper, and she decided that she wanted us to meet up with a male friend of hers.  I can’t remember his name for the life of me so I’ll call him Mr. Noname.  Chiquita, Mr. Noname and myself went to his house and they wanted to get in the hot tub outside.  Think Jersey Shore meets The Sopranos.  Once in the hot tub all hell broke loose and I found myself being led by Chiquita into this guy’s bedroom.  We had some decent sex.  She went down on me, then she went down on him, etc., etc.  It really wasn’t anything special except for it was her first threesome and my first with her.  We never saw him again or spoke of that night again.

4.  No He Didn’t! Oh Yes He Did!

This is probably one of my favorites because it’s just too damn funny.  Continue reading