Tag Archive | Dreams

IQ Points Dropping Like Flies

I swear, sometimes, I really do believe that I make men stupid.  Let me explain why.

Mr. 7am, my early morning booty call guy, has evolved into more.  His work schedule changed and now he works until 11:00 pm, but to me he will always be Mr. 7am because he does love his morning sex.  He will never be a real boyfriend to me, mainly because we have nothing in common other than sex, but also because I can’t be in a relationship with someone I only see right before bed and right before I have to go to work.  He hasn’t gotten that memo yet, because I haven’t told him, so he seems to think our relationship is going in a different direction.  I know this is wrong, and I do plan on telling him as soon as the time is right.

What had happened was…

Mr. 7am came over one night after work.  Since he no longer had to immediately crawl into bed with me at the crack of dawn, he thought we now could have time to sit and talk before heading to the bedroom.  This was unexpected and somewhat disappointing.  I was enjoying my early morning sex sessions.  We fuck, I get up for work, and he leaves.  Not anymore.

i-love-youSo we’re sitting in the living room talking, drinking, smoking, and I realize that he’s a really nice and funny guy, but he’s just not that sharp.  That’s ok.  I’ve dealt with guys like this before.  As long as it’s just about sex, then it will be fine.

It got late and I knew that I needed to get to bed because I had to work the next day.  He led me into the bedroom and we had sex.  Not as many times as the first time, but three times.  During the second time, he pauses mid-stroke and says, “Damn Ginger, I love you girl.”

Excuse me.  What?

He said it again, “I just love my Ginger.”

No! Not again, and not in bed, and especially not during sex.

So that was a week ago.  He was supposed to come over after work last Tuesday night, but he never showed up.  He never even called or text me to let me know he wasn’t coming.  Late the next morning I finally received a text from him.  He said that he had to work over.  I coldly replied, “Ok. A text letting me know would have been nice.”  He said he was sorry and asked how work was, so I just told him it was busy.

At 6:30 pm I received another text from him asking what I was doing.  I didn’t reply.  Then another text asking, “Omg babe r u mad at me?”  I was, a little, but I told him I was at the bar with DC & Bacchus.  He asked if he could see me that night and I told him I was going to crash early.  After several texts back and forth, him asking to see me, me putting him off, he finally asked if I needed a ride home.  Shit.  He got off work early and was headed to the bar.

So after some awkward conversation with Mr. 7am, DC, and Bacchus, we decided to leave.  I think DC & Bacchus liked Mr. 7am…I know DC thinks he’s cute, but they know he’s not exactly a rocket scientist.  However, he’s nice and sweet…and evidently afraid of losing me and a tad jealous.  So we called it a night and went back to my place.

Friday night I blew him off to go hang out with Bacchus and some other friends.  I felt guilty about it Saturday so I told him he could come over that night after work.  It was nice having a little more time to spend with him.  I didn’t have to get up early for work, so we stayed up for a while talking before heading to bed.

And…he said it again.  In the living room.  Sober.  I’m screwed.

Or so I thought.  After mulling it over today I decided that, why shouldn’t I give him a chance?  He’s not a bad guy.  He’s not married, he has a job, he makes me laugh, he’s nice and considerate, and he is excellent in bed.  So I think I’m going to do it.  Because even if once I get to know him better, I decide that he definitely is not the one for me, at least I’ll know I gave him an honest chance.

My main fear, as brought forth in a nightmare I had last night, is that I become pregnant by some freak cruel miracle from God, and the baby is cute, but stupid.  I swear I woke up in a cold sweat and gasping for breath after that one.

So I think I was wrong.  It’s not the guy’s IQ points that drop.  It’s mine.  😉

Happy humping geniuses!


Fifty Shades of Red

sagittarius,hair,beauty,back,redhead,water-bc51304f5ffc8e5602e82c89e89038a2_hThe following conversation occurred a few days after Christmas.

Mom:  You’re hair looks good.  I like that color.

Me:  Thanks.  It’s my natural color.  Can’t you tell by all the gray in it?

Mom:  You’ve always had white hairs mixed in with the red.

Fallen Angel (my sister):  Yeah, this is the first time I’ve seen either one of you with your natural hair color…ever.

Me:  (Laughing)  That’s not true.

Fallen Angel:  Yes it is.  You should title your book Fifty Shades of Red.   Remember that time when you let your friend color it that purplish-red color.  That looked awful.

Me:  Thanks….I liked it. (Trying to hide my bruised ego.)

Mom & Fallen Angel:  (Laughing)

That conversation got me to wondering again what all the fuss was about.  About that book, Fifty Shades of Grey.  I know its old news to most of you, and it would be to me too if I had ever read the book.  However I don’t read much, other than blogs and articles online.  When I was in high school I read constantly.  I was the girl who always had a book with her, always got to class early, and to avoid unwanted social contact, always just sat and read until class started.  Yes, I was a mega nerd.

Since then I think I’ve read maybe a dozen books over the last twenty years, and none in the last fifteen years.  So my sister, who is an avid reader and loves her Kindle, always picks at me when I say I want to read a book.  She always asks, “You can read?  I didn’t know you could read.”  She’s very funny.  Of course I can read.  My attention span just isn’t long enough for me to read anything longer than a few pages.  I’m not sure why, or when that happened, but that’s just how it is.  Until now.

While my parents were visiting, they took my sister’s room, she took my room, and  I was banished to the loft.  Since I had no tv on the loft, I was left with just my phone to entertain me.  Knowing that my sister probably had hundreds of books on her Kindle account, I decided to download the Kindle app and see what she had.

She had the usual romance novels, vampire books, and westerns/horse books.  The one that caught my eye though was Fifty Shades of Grey.  She even had the second book, Fifty Shades Darker.  Now, she had warned me that the writing was not the greatest and the storyline was a bit weak, but who cares…it’s like porn for housewives, or so I’ve heard.  So I decided I’d download it.  I started reading and got a couple of chapters in before falling asleep.  Needless to say, when I remembered it the next day, I was not very impressed.  I didn’t have much desire to keep reading so I forgot about it.

A couple of days later I was at work and talking to my coworker, Hamster, about something and I mentioned to him that my sister had talked me into reading Fifty Shades of Grey.  He said in his matter of fact tone, “Yeah, my wife read that and when she got done she said, ‘Bedroom. Now!'”  His wife is older than him and Continue reading


I had this big plan for this weekend.  Since I now have a car, I was going to take a trip down to New Orleans to visit a friend.  We planned it all out last weekend.  I was supposed to go down tomorrow, hang out, and spend the night with him.  I was all excited about seeing him and about getting out of town, and I let my excitement get the better of me.

Even though I can be incredibly selfish and narcissistic at times, deep down I am a very giving and caring person.  I had it all planned out to take him a gift.  Since he’s a musician, and I just happen to work in a music store, I thought it would be awesome if I made up a guitar care package for him as a surprise.  He’s a great musician and I adore him, and I just happened to notice once that he didn’t have a case for his guitar, so that’s what started the ball rolling in my head.  He could probably really use all of this stuff and would appreciate it.  He’s also a great guy who deserves to get a treat like this.  Not to mention that I had high hopes of seeing a big smile on his face when he opened it.

I gathered up a case, strings, pics, tuner, strap (a KISS one because even though it is a bit garish, it’s his favorite band), a wall hanger for his guitar, and some other random stuff.  I had to text him to ask what kind of strings he liked, and I tried not to sound too suspicious with my asking.  I wrapped it all nice and pretty in the music wrapping paper that we have at the store and put it in the trunk of my car.  It was all ready to go, and so was I.

Today I sent him a text just to say that I was really excited about seeing him, and that I had a surprise for him.  His response was not one of excitement, but more along the lines of ‘oh, you shouldn’t have.’  Then tonight I get a text from him saying that he’s had a family emergency and will be out of town tomorrow.  Now, I don’t know whether to believe him or not.  I don’t know if I’m being overly paranoid, or if fate just doesn’t want us to ever see each other again.  After all, this is the third or fourth time that our plans to hang out have fallen through.

Of course I don’t want to ask him if that’s really the truth, or if my mentioning that I have a surprise for him may have scared him off, or maybe he just met someone else that he would rather spend his time with.  I opted not to ask him anything.  I just said “OK, maybe some other time.”

The worst part is how crushed I felt.  Not because I had the gift that I really wanted to give him, but because I won’t get to see him.  I was really looking forward to that.  It’s been so long since I’ve seen him.  Now I feel like I may have screwed it all up.

Then more thoughts run through my head about how he probably is just a flake and I shouldn’t waste my time on him.  What if I’m wrong though?  What if he is telling me the truth?  What if I’m just letting my insecurities take over?  It all just sucks.

I sent him one last text asking when he would be back.  I haven’t received a reply.  I’m guessing that’s not a good sign.  I could be wrong though.  I usually am about most things.

Dear Unicorn

A redheaded hobbit runs through the forest in search of the ever elusive unicorn.  Giving up her search, she decides to write the Unicorn a letter.

Dear Unicorn,

I thought I had found you, but it turns out that it was just a horse with a shiny horn super-glued to its handsome head.  Searching for you has been exhausting, and therefore I am no longer going to continue my search.  Wherever you may be, if you do even exist, I am leaving it up to you to find me.  Hopefully fate will bring us together.

Until that time I have decided to move on with my little hobbit life and search for more tangible things like a new house, a new job, a new car, and an ale that tastes good and is less filling.

While my search for you has been fun and exciting at times, it has also raised my blood pressure and heart rate in very bad ways.  My goal now is to live a more stress-free life, leave the trolls alone, and let God sort out the rest.


The Redheaded Hobbit, aka

Decisions, decisions. I need help.

Here’s my dilemma.  Once we lose/sell the house, my sister will move back to our hometown.  I will be left with several options.  I can either:

  1. Move to our hometown with her, finding my own place of course, because I refuse to live with her and her animals ever again.  This might also give me the inspiration I need to finish my book, not to mention, the flood of memories that will undoubtedly come rushing back would be helpful.  The main con on this one, though, is that I would be entirely too close to my relatives and family for comfort.  I would have to buckle down, concentrate on the book, finish it and then get the hell out of town before I lose my mind.
  2. Stay here in Podunk, MS, keep working my little job, find a crappy little apartment, and have no social life at all.
  3. Move back to New Orleans, the place that I grew to really like, be with the people I miss, and find another job & an apartment there.
  4. Move elsewhere in this great country of ours.  I have never lived west of the Mississippi.  Maybe it’s time for a bigger change.
  5. Do nothing.  Avoid making a decision altogether, until the day comes when we are forced out of the house and I’m left with no other options other than to move with my sister and live with her again.  (This is not a valid option.  I’m just putting it on here so I will be forced to face the facts.)

Help me out here…please.  I’m begging.  I need some advice on this one.  Thanks!

Happy humping!