Tag Archive | Confessions

My Band of Ex’s and O’s

Somehow I just managed to realize that I’ve dated a lot of damn musicians.  Enough to have my own band.  So here’s who would be in my band…

Teacher.  Duh, he teaches music full-time and is a professional musician.  He plays just about every instrument, but he’s amazing on guitar.  And, he sings.

Art.  I’d put Art on keys.  He can play guitar too, but he has more of a piano kind of vibe to him.  He’s a….Cad.  Yep.  That’s the word.

Bluegrass.  Ah, shitty old Bluegrass.  Unfortunately, he’s the only banjo player I’ve dated.  Being from Alabama, it would be a sin for me not to include the banjo in my band.

Rocketman.  I can’t even be mad at Rocketman anymore.  He was a sweet guy.  He just had some major issues.  He was a bass player, like me.  He committed suicide five years ago.

Ok.  So far we have guitar, keys, banjo, and bass.

Last, but not least, is drums.  This is going to have to go to Redbeard.  As far as I can recall, he’s the only drummer I’ve dated.  He’s also a tad crazy.  Today he posted a series of FWB memes on his Facebook feed.  Here they are for your enjoyment:

This bitch be like, “he crazy and needy.”

I didn’t respond in any way.  He’s just not worth it.  I’m sorry for breaking his heart, but he’s not alone in that.  There was a line of heartbroken guys before him, and there will be more after.

Until next time…

Peace, love, & happiness.

me_128_bigger

Babe, I’m gonna leave you

I promised a follow-up to my last post.  Better late than never, right?

For the past two months I have seen Doc Oc occasionally, usually once a week.  About one month ago he came over one evening and as we were sitting on the couch he said he needed to tell me something. I immediately got nervous, thinking that maybe he had a girlfriend or wife.  No such luck.  He told me that he was moving back to his hometown, which is over four hours away.

My heart sank.  I thought I had finally found a guy in this crappy state that I not only could tolerate, but actually liked.  And now he’s leaving me.

Of course this is the guy who I thought could possibly be a serial killer.  He isn’t, of course.  However, he’s a very quiet person, much like myself, but even more so.  I told my sister that now I know what it’s like to date me, and it’s awful.  And I don’t mean that negatively against him.  I just know that quiet people are difficult nuts to crack.  We hold in so much.  All of our emotions and feelings, hopes and dreams, thoughts and beliefs.  Introverts can be extremely complex people.  Personally, think I do better in relationships with extroverts, even though those are the one’s that usually don’t work out.

Anyway…Oh!  I haven’t even described Doc Oc to you yet.  He’s sexy, in a nerdy hipster subdued kind of way.  Think Robert Downey, Jr. meets young James Spader.  His ass though.  Thank you Jesus for this boy’s ass.  It’s so grab-able.  He’s also intelligent and funny.  It’s just that he doesn’t open up and talk much, which I do wish he had done.

Oh, well.  The good ones always go away.  Or I go away.  Someone always goes away.

My prayer for the day:

“Jesus, just send me Bruno Mars…or Sting…I’d accept Sting also.”

Because I could fuck the hell out of some Bruno, or Sting, right now.

Until next time…”It’s only half past the point of no return.”

Peace, love, & happiness.

me_128_bigger

The New Tales of a Single Ginger Preacher’s Daughter

I’ve been single again now for almost six months. Of course I’ve had the occasional “relationship” since then, but nothing serious, and certainly nothing even close to “being in love.” I’m completely satisfied with that. I’m in no hurry to get back into a serious relationship. When I was dating the Scotsman, I did start getting a little too attached though. So when he dumped me just a couple of days into January, I was hurt, and a little pissed off. Here I was taking the leap again, and trusted this guy, and he has to go and turn out to be an asshole. I’m over it now, but at the time it really bothered me.

Since kicking Buck, husband #3, out of the apartment for good, I’ve been busy working and haven’t been able to date much. When I do have time though, I’d like to spend that time with someone who is laid back, smart, funny, and sexy. So far I’ve only had very little luck.

Redbeard

After Scotsman, I met Redbeard on my favorite dating site, Plenty of Fish. Redbeard is former military, injured in Afghanistan, and now unemployed. Of all of those things, the only thing that really turned me off was that he’s a ginger. I know, I know, it sounds strange because I’m a ginger myself, but I just can’t help that I’ve never really been attracted to redheaded men.

I gave him an honest try though. I gave him a chance even though he’s going through a bitter divorce and has a 16-year-old daughter, and didn’t seem to have much time to come over and hang out. (“Hang out” is basically my code for have sex.) I just wanted a FWB type situation, and I stated that clearly on my profile. So when Redbeard started coming over for a couple of hours and then leaving, without having sex with me, I started getting pissed off about the situation. I got the feeling that he was only coming over to drink my beer and smoke my weed. That, my dear sir, is not acceptable. If I’m going to get a guy tipsy and high, then dammit, he’d better make it worth my while. LOL

So last Friday, after not seeing him at all for almost two weeks, I sent him a message on Facebook explaining how I felt, and letting him know that I wanted to call it quits and just be friends (no benefits). He sent me a message back two days later saying that he was sorry and had been preoccupied with family stuff, but he still wanted to try to hang out sometime. I told him that once things calm down we might get to. I don’t know how realistic that is though because I’m really not that into him.

Brendan Fraser

Saturday night, Brendan Fraser (he looks like a young Brendan Fraser…duh. lol) came over around 9:30 pm. We talked for a while and then made out on the couch. I had not yet had sexual intercourse with Brendan, but I definitely wanted to. The previous weekend he had come over and stayed for about three hours. We drank and smoked and listed to music and he ordered a pBone when we discovered that we both played trombone and I asked if he had ever seen one. (http://pbone.co.uk/) Right when Brendan was about to leave that first night, we were standing in the kitchen saying goodbye when he went to hug me and ended up kissing me. My switch turned on and I went for it. We ended up making out on the couch. I didn’t even bother asking if he wanted to go to the bedroom. Something in me took over and the next thing I know I was swallowing his load. So, once that was done he really did have to leave so we kissed goodnight and he left.

When he came back over Friday night, I was ready for a lot more. I wanted the D! LOL And I got what I wanted. I forgot to mention that he is ten years younger than me. He had a lot of stamina, and he didn’t waste any of it. I just hope my upstairs neighbor couldn’t hear me. The only thing that I didn’t like was that he didn’t stay longer. I would have loved to have gotten a few more rounds in with him. Twice was not nearly enough for me.

Doc Oc

This past Saturday night, I met Doc Oc, the optometrist. He’s older than me, but he looks younger, and he has kind of a metro sexual hipster vibe going on. I was digging it. However, when he first got here he was so soft-spoken and reserved that I kept thinking that he might get up and leave at any moment. Once he had a beer, relaxed, and saw my lunch box collection, he opened up a little. I did appreciate that even though he was on the quieter side, that didn’t mean he was shy. I like when men make the first move. I’ll do it if I have to, but I don’t always want to have to be the one to do it.

He started slowly and respectfully by holding my hand, which was sweet. Fifteen minutes later his hand was in my pants and then mine was unzipping his. We stopped there after a while though. He said he wanted to continue when he wasn’t so tired. I was sexually frustrated, but I had to accept his offer of continuing later. If he could deal with some blue balls, then so could I. But O.M.G. I was dying.

I text my sister after he left telling her that I was still alive and that he wasn’t a serial killer. I also told her that I was in trouble with this one because he made my heart skip a beat…and that shit hurts! I have a heart condition! LOL I have a very strong feeling that he might just be the muse I’ve been looking for.

So…it’s only Monday. I have to wait until Saturday to see Doc Oc again. I hope I make it that long. Between the chest pains and the horniness, I might die. We will see. I will (or my sister if I die) update you on what happens. 😉

Until next time…

Peace, love, & happiness.

me_128_bigger

When you wish upon a star

Sometimes dreams do come true, no matter how small and insignificant they may seem.

sexykiltSix years ago I wrote a post called “Amen Snoop. Amen.” In the post I described a dream that I had about a tall Scottish god of a man in a kilt with legs like tree trunks. Well, guess what? I finally met him last week. He’s 6’3″ with dark wavy hair and legs, well, like tree trunks. Also, he’s Scottish, accent and all. Although he wasn’t wearing a kilt when I met him, he still managed to make me weak in the knees. Oh, and I found the Loch Ness Monster. I’d say I found it under the kilt, but like I said, unfortunately, there was no kilt. So at least I finally got to find out who the Scottish hunk in my dream was.

I know you’re probably wondering what happened with my soon to be ex-husband, Buck.  Well, he’s still being a disgusting whore. Except now I think he’s sunk lower and has become a full-blown meth head who has to prostitute himself out to support his bad habits. I think this because he keeps posting pictures and videos and tweeting about it. He tries to say that all the stuff that he posts is “just talk”, but I’m not stupid enough to believe that.

So I’m working on a strategy for the divorce and moving on with my life. This Preacher’s Daughter has had enough of losers, users, and abusers. I’m ready to enjoy my freedom and maybe even spend some time with a decent man for a change.

Until next time…

Peace, love, & happiness.

me_128_bigger

Setting Precedent: The Follow-up

In my last post I told you about Buck cheating on me and lying to me.  I am far from over this, but for now I did allow him to come back to the apartment.  We had a long talk yesterday.  I reminded him of the rules that are in place so as to make the “open marriage” concept work for us.  Obviously it wasn’t working for him.  He had it so easy.  All he had to do was be honest with me and not lie and hide things from me.  He realizes that now, but it’s too late.  I’m not sure I can recover from this betrayal.

He told me that he can’t stop and won’t stop being with other people.  I knew that already, but I thought with the rules we had agreed upon that it would not be that big of a problem.  So, now I realize that it’s not just that he wants to be with other people, it’s that he wants to be sneaky and for it to be taboo.  He doesn’t enjoy it as much if I know what he’s doing.  I understand that there is an element of excitement to cheating, but the price you pay is never worth it.  Unfortunately for me, I’m probably going to be the one who pays the greatest price with my health.  He doesn’t use protection and doesn’t seem to understand that you can still get an STD from performing oral on someone.  I told him it’s only a matter of time before it all comes to a crashing halt, and I’m not willing to just ignore his idiotic behavior anymore.

He has no respect for me, and he sure as hell doesn’t care about my feelings or needs.  So I’m guessing that this marriage (number three for me) will probably end much sooner than “till death do us part.”  I swear to God and Jesus and Bruno Mars that I will never ever get married again, not even for the health insurance.  I’d rather die of a wonky heart than have to put up with this shit any more.

Dumb ass.  Just like my sister Fallen Angel says, men are all dumb ass motherfuckers who are selfish pricks.  They can’t be trusted with anything, especially their own cocks.

One more thing.  I owe an apology to my friends in Mississippi.  They tried to warn me about Buck.  They didn’t like him and I just thought it was because I was moving away with him.  I was so wrong.  They were right.  Buck is a lazy, selfish, cheating, lying, son-of-a-bitch.  Damn, I have horrible taste in men.  WTF is wrong with me?