Friday night was supposed to be a fun night out with friends. It turned into one of the worst nights I’ve had in a long time. It’s partially my fault. I just don’t know when to say when, and I’m not just talking about alcohol.
It started out fine. DC and I went to another local bar where Teacher was playing. When we arrived there was a large table full of friends having dinner. I knew most of them. They’re a great group of people and they invited DC and I to join them. Not long after we sat down, more friends showed up and joined us. There were probably twenty of us in total. We ate, drank, laughed, and enjoyed Teacher’s music.
One of the other people that showed up was Bacchus. He brought a date and they joined us at the big table. He and I had talked a few nights earlier about what might happen if I went Friday night and Viking was there, then if Mr. 7am showed up, then Paul Bunyan, and of course Teacher would be there. It could potentially be one big cluster fuck. Then Bacchus said “and then if you left with me.” I thought it was funny and that the cherry on top would be me going home completely alone. Turns out I wasn’t so wrong about that part. More on that in a minute.
A little while later Teacher’s girlfriend, who I still think is the most bland person ever, showed up with her guy friend that was with her last time we were there. She was sitting directly behind me at one of the pub tables, our backs to each other. We never speak or even really make eye contact which is fine with me. They didn’t stay long.
When DC and I went out to smoke the Viking showed up. He said hello and went on inside. The Viking is a guy who I’ve met a few times. He’s also a friend of Teacher’s. I saw him at another bar a few weeks ago when I was out with Bacchus. We talked and had a good time. Since the Viking and I were already friends on Facebook, I sent him a message the next day. I told him it was good to see him and that maybe we could hang out sometime. He agreed and said he’d let me know when he got back to town. He works out of state. Part of the reason I went Friday night was because I knew the Viking was going to be there. I wanted the chance to talk to him more and maybe see if he was interested in hanging out more.
I had talked to Mr. 7am again on Wednesday, and he said he wanted to hang out this weekend so I told him he could just pick me up from the bar when he got off work. I know I said I was going to stop seeing him, but I figured I’d give him one last chance.
He text me a little after 9:00 pm and said that he had to go home after work because he was going to get up early and cut grass before going back to work the next afternoon. I was angry and hurt and embarrassed because I had let him do that to me yet again. I told DC and she said I probably should give up on him because something just isn’t right with him. I know she’s right and that’s what I should do.
In my anger, I decided it was time to move on, so I changed my focus toward other pursuits. I was no longer dickmatized and since Mr. 7am was no longer coming to the bar, I decided to try to talk to the Viking a little. A bunch of us were outside smoking and talking and Viking sat down beside me. We talked a little, mostly joking around and enjoying the crazy conversation that his friend and an old drunk man were having. Things didn’t really seem to be going anywhere with him, so again, I decided to move on.
I had noticed the bar manager the few times that I’ve been to that bar, and I decided maybe I should give him a shot, just for kicks. He did remember my name, even though I couldn’t remember his, but then again, most people find it easy to remember my name. However, I wasn’t really in the mood to put any effort into him and quickly let that one go too.
The bar was getting ready to close so after one last beer I followed Bacchus and some others back to the room that he had gotten for the night. That’s when the party really got going. There were people in the room, outside the room, just everywhere. I managed to have a really good time even though I wasn’t really on the prowl anymore at that point. I was just having fun hanging out with everyone.
It did strike me a bit odd though that the Viking hooked up with the falling-down-drunk girl from a few weeks ago. She seems nice, but evidently her standards are pretty low, as are his. I was glad to have dodged that bullet once I saw how disturbing the “hook-up” looks from the outside. They got caught making out in the back of a vehicle and then shortly after they left together.
So the numbers were falling but there was still a good crowd there hanging out. I did manage to get into a conversation with the bar manager, and he seemed nice, but he also seemed to be stuck on the tall blonde bartender. So again, I moved on.
Finally, we were down to the basics. Just me, Bacchus, and Mr. & Mrs. Right. They are friends that I met through Teacher and I adore both of them. Eventually Mrs. Right decided it was time to go to sleep so she passed out on one of the beds in the room. I was outside the room sitting on the tailgate of Mr. Right’s truck talking to him and some old drunk guy who disappeared at some point leaving Mr. Right and me to talk.
As we were sitting on the tailgate talking, I noticed that the curtain in the room was open about a foot. Then I noticed the lights lower. See, I forgot to tell you that Bacchus’ date had also passed out, on the other bed in the room. She had been there for a few hours and was out cold. While I was trying to be a good friend to Mr. Right and give him some relationship advice (I know I should not be giving relationship advice, so no comments on that one please) I saw something through the window that I wish I had never seen.
I was trying really hard to pay attention to Mr. Right talking to me, but it was very difficult considering I was watching Bacchus have sex with his date, with Mrs. Right asleep in the next bed less than four feet away, and I just couldn’t concentrate. It was an odd mixture of shock, disgust, anger, and yet I couldn’t stop looking. I was just praying that his date was actually conscious during it. Otherwise, that would be pretty shitty of him.
So, there I was panicked and frozen sitting on the tailgate of a truck in a hotel parking lot watching my friend fuck some drunk woman (who told DC & I at dinner that she was married) while trying to give heartfelt advice to Mr. Right. What a fucked up night it was. It still makes my head spin just thinking about it.
To be true to the “confession” part of my blog, I have tried to be more than friends with Bacchus a couple of times, but only because he was flirting with me just as much as I was flirting with him. He even came right out and told me one night that I’d have to make the first move. I did and that turned out terrible. He got scared and ran. So that’s fine. I think he makes a better friend anyway.
I consider myself to be a good person. Yes, I do bad things sometimes, but not terribly bad. In general I’m a caring, compassionate, loving, smart, friendly person who tries to give people the benefit of the doubt. So why is it that men keep choosing these skanks, plain janes, and old drunk whores over me? Not that I really wanted any of those guys, but (and this is the narcissist in me coming out again) why would they not even try….or did they try and I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind to take notice? Either way, I’m so happy that I went home alone Friday night (the only part of the “plan” that actually went as planned). I may not have felt that way when I first got home, but after a day or two of meditation and writing I realized where I stand with people and how many bullets I’d probably dodged. So…yay me!
Happy humping & keep your options open, but watch out for those stray bullets!