Tag Archive | birthday

Birthday Sex: The Extended Version

bday sexAt 7:00 am I heard my bedroom door open.  Someone crawled into bed beside me.  Someone naked.  I opened my eyes just a sliver and it was my new friend-boy, Mr. 7am.  After I opened my eyes and saw him leaning over me and coming in for a kiss he said, “Good morning baby.  I’m here to give you that birthday kiss I promised you.”

He had to work the late shift the night before and couldn’t make it to my party.  So I told him he could come by after work and I would leave the door unlocked for him.  I wasn’t really expecting him to come by after working all night, but I’m so glad he did.

Az5CUnmorning-sex-alarm-flirting-ecards-someecardsHe kissed me and then kissed my breasts and then kept going until his face was buried between my legs.  Forget alarm clocks.  I’d rather have a tongue between my thighs at 7am.

Mr. 7am is not my usual type.  He’s a little country and from this small town, but he seems very genuine and laid back.  He’s a foot taller than me, in great shape, and has just the right amount of chest hair (and no back hair).  He was a vision to wake up to.

I grabbed his head and pulled him up to mine and kissed him.  He tasted like sweet pussy…he tasted like me.  I grabbed his ass with both hands and pulled him closer, letting him slide inside.  For the next hour we fucked, and I sucked, and we fucked some more until we both came simultaneously.

That was the beginning of my birthday sexfest.

Over the next week he came by a few more times, always at 7am.  Each time was better than the last.  I always had to get up for work though, so we didn’t have much time to talk.  That was fine with me.  He’s hot, and willing, and makes me dripping wet.

As the week progressed I went on a couple of other dates, but they were all duds.  I was completely unattracted to them.  One guy couldn’t stop staring at my tits, and the other had no filter so any dirty thought that came to his mind, he just said out loud.  Not the best dates I’ve had, but not the worst either I suppose.

Then on Thursday I got a message from a guy who lives quite far away and we started talking.  This guy managed to get me so worked up so fast that I couldn’t wait to see Mr. 7am again.  Unfortunately for me, Mr. 7am couldn’t make it for a few days for a few reasons.  So I was left to take care of things myself.

Saturday I thought I was going to die of boredom until my friend DC asked me to meet her at the bar.  We had a good time listening to music and talking until closing.  At closing our friend Bacchus showed up.  He invited me to go out bar hopping and we did just that…until 4 in the morning.  I was exhausted Sunday, but pleased that we had such a good time the night before.

mr booty

Well, hello Mr. Booty.

Since Mr. 7am had to work, I didn’t expect to hear from him until at least yesterday, but at 4pm Sunday he sent me a text.  He said he could be here in an hour.  What?  Mr. 7am is going to be here at 5PM?  What has the world come to?  LOL

So I hurried to get ready for his arrival and in between getting ready I was still talking to my out-of-town friend online.  Once again, he was getting me all hot and bothered, so by the time Mr. 7am got here I was ready to strip him down and go for a ride.  He had other plans though.

When he came in with a six-pack of beer and a bottle of Crown I knew I was in trouble.  He handed me a beer and sat down at the table.  I joined him, reluctantly.  As we drank our beers, we talked and he told me some funny stories.  Don’t get me wrong.  He’s a really nice, funny, charming guy, but I had other things on my mind.  I do want to talk to him and get to know him better, but maybe some other time when I’m not about to soak through my panties.

Anyway, as we sat there I kept looking for an opportunity to make a move on him.  I didn’t want to interrupt him as he was telling a story, and I wanted to let him finish his beer, and then his cigarette…but, but, dammit boy!  Fuck me already!  LOL

Finally I saw my opportunity.  He stood up to go to the fridge and as he came back to the table I told him to come over to me, where I was sitting on my bar stool.  I wasted no time in grabbing a hold of his ass with both hands and pulled him in so tight that I could feel his cock pressing against my thigh.  He had on these gym shorts that made it very easy for my hands to slide in and down to his ass.

imagesAfter some really good kissing, and his being shocked by how eager I was, he said, “That’s enough. Let’s go to the bedroom. Now.”  He grabbed my hand and led me straight to the bedroom.  He was undressed before I even sat down on the bed.  I started getting undressed and was laying there on my side in just my underwear.  Since I hadn’t planned on having company I didn’t have time to put on my fancy panties.  You girls know what I mean.  I just had on some cute orange stripped cotton & lace bikinis.  He didn’t seem to mind.  He took one look at me and said, “Damn girl.  Look at that ass.  You’re looking fine.  Mmmmhmmm.”  You have to imagine him saying it in a nice thick Southern drawl.  LOL  Needless to say, my panties didn’t stay on much longer.

I wore him out, and he did the same to me.  By the time he left I was shaking all over from the five orgasms I had and I could barely walk.  Twenty minutes later I was still shakey when he sent me a text that said, “Omg u r hot.”  He texts like a 12-year-old, but he fucks like a pro.  Either way, I was flattered and ready to pass out, which I did.

So that was my week of birthday sex and damn it was good.  Hopefully it will continue and I’ll have at least a whole month of mind-blowing orgasm-inducing sex.  😉  I’ll let you know how it goes.

Happy humping (from the now 40-year-old Preacher’s Daughter)!

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Supermoons, bitches, and wheelchairs

montrealWow.  What a month.  First of all, Bulldog quit.  Bulldog was the guy who replaced Hamster about a month and a half ago.  I can’t say I was too surprised to find out that he had found a better job and was moving on.  I also can’t blame him.  Hopefully I’ll be following him out soon.  Secondly, Bossman hired another guy who quit the day before he was scheduled to start.  Lastly, I found out this week that yet another new hire turned in his notice.  He started on Monday.  Bossman is not having the best of luck when it comes to keeping employees.  Sadly to say, for him at least, I will be leaving soon too.

I had a second interview with that company, but still haven’t heard anything.  I’m still checking out other job leads in the mean time.  Also, I thought I had found a cheaper apartment, which would have allowed me to move sooner, but that fell through.  It’s ok though, because that first apartment is still available. 🙂  Now if I can just save enough cash for the rent & deposit I should be ready to move.

Speaking of saving cash…my sister told me Monday that she’s moving next week.  The Preacher is coming down to help her move.  All I can say is thank God!  She’s been driving me crazy.  The house is a disaster area, her dogs brought fleas into the house (and they only seem to bite me and Little Bubba, not my sister), and between paying the power and water bills by myself I haven’t had any money left over to save for my move.

I got a call yesterday about another job prospect.  I’ve got an interview on Monday.  Maybe I’ll actually get this one.  In the mean time I’m taking advantage of having a week of paid vacation.  I scheduled it over a month ago in the hopes that Teacher and I would get to go somewhere.  It turns out that he’s Continue reading

Hiding the welcome mat.

Finally, my parents and little brother have gone back home, two states away, where they belong!  Mom & little brother were here for almost a month and in that time they just about drove my sister and I over the edge into insanity.  Thankfully we survived only slightly more insane than we already were prior to their visit.  I do love my  mother and little brother, but it’s true that “Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.” (Benjamin Franklin)  This rings especially true because my little brother seems to have a burping/farting problem.

I understand that it’s difficult for my parents to come back to the house that they built and the town where they lived for so many years, but if it’s so difficult then why come at all?  I’ll tell you why.  Because even though my sister and I are doing everything within our power to help them keep from losing the house while they try to sell it, including my sister trying herself to get financing so that she can buy it, they just don’t trust us.  My father, the Preacher, strategically planned his trip here to pick up my mother and brother, at the first of the month.  He used my birthday as an excuse, but that’s not the real reason.  He wanted to make sure that all the rent we collected from our tenants went toward the mortgage payment.

Just so you know, I’m OCD when it comes to my spreadsheets and Microsoft Money.  I update it daily and try to stay on top of every penny that we earn, spend, and all bills that are due/coming due.  My sister may be the business minded one, but I’m the analytical and practical one.  Together I think we make a pretty damn good team, although our plans don’t always turn out the way we had hoped.  At least we are trying.  Meanwhile the Preacher is sitting on his ass not doing a lot to help out, just waiting, expecting, demanding that she and I make the mortgage payments.  At one point he was ready to just hand the house over to the bank.  That’s what really confuses me.  If he doesn’t even care anymore, then why is he riding our asses nonstop about it?  Control.  It’s all about control I suppose.

I find it difficult to feel sorry for the Preacher, but I do feel for my mom.  I know she has tried her best to rein him in and make him see the light, but he seems to be forever stuck in a deep dark cave of self-pity.  I just pray that she and my little brother don’t have to suffer through all this much longer.  I hope he will get off his ass, get a job, any job or even disability which is what he should be on, and take care of them like he should.

My mother, bless her heart, has good intentions, but she managed to drive us crazy too.  Between her waking my sister up at 2 am, 3 am, and 5 am, to let the dogs out, and her getting up at 6 am to make her decaf coffee and start doing dishes, I thought I was going to have to sedate my sister a few times.  Mom has always had periods of insomnia, and since she was already awake, she thought that 3 am was the perfect time to vacuum and do other household cleaning.  She had no problem going into my sister’s room and vacuuming while sis was trying to sleep.  Sis HATED that, and still does.

I have to hand it to my mom though.  She’s put up with the preacher for many many moons, raised two very interesting daughters, is now raising a rambunctious six-year-old boy, and always manages to keep a smile on her face and love in her heart.  Although not perfect, she is amazing nonetheless.

The funniest thing mom did while she was here was when she found my sister’s bottle of Bahama Mama in the fridge door.  The Preacher is a former/recovering alcoholic, and therefore my parents have not had alcohol in their house in at least twenty-five years.  So one night she was cooking a roast, and found the bottle in the fridge.  She asked if I thought it would be good to put in with the roast, sort of like a marinade I suppose.  I laughed and told her it wasn’t wine, and I refused to let her use it.  (She has a long history of coming up with some interesting, and not so tasty dinner items.)  I guess she didn’t believe me so she opened it up and took a short sniff of it, and then a longer one.  Then she said, “That smells really good.  I guess if I can’t use it I can at least sniff it.”  Then she proceeded to take a very long whiff of it, all the while giggling like a school girl.  LOL

I am realizing that I haven’t written much about my mother, and I will have to rectify that very soon.  She’s so funny and sweet and her innocence just makes even funnier sometimes.  She has brought my sister & I to tears on many occasions laughing at the stuff she says and does.  Don’t worry, she laughs at herself too.  She is great when she laughs really hard.  She turns red, tears come streaming down her face and anyone can see what a beautiful person she really is.

So the welcome mat may be temporarily hidden, but it will be back out eventually and we will welcome them back with open arms.  No matter what, they’re our family and we love them.

Happy humping!

Dude, you’re freaking me out!

I did it.  I told EB that I was going to return the birthday present (earrings) to him, that we weren’t compatible, and that we shouldn’t see each other anymore.  I tried to be nice about it.  I hate being mean to people even when they’ve pissed me off or done me wrong.  Evidently even after telling me to “give the damn earrings back” he still was not satisfied with my decision to end our brief relationship.  He has texted and called me all day long.  These haven’t been short little text messages either.  They have been long rambling texts, usually several at a time, telling me how he really cares for me and we could have had something beautiful.  (This is where my gag reflex kicks in.)  Come on dude!  We’ve only seen each other three times!

Even when I was talking to him on the phone and almost completely lost my fiery red-headed temper with him he was still apologizing and trying to get me to come see him tomorrow.  It was all I could do to hold back and not rip into him like a chainsaw through butter, but I was good.  It was bad enough that I was apparently breaking his little heart, it would be just plain cruel to kill his ego as well.  Good thing I’m not an evil bitch.  Damn, sometimes I wish I were though.  If I had of ripped into him here’s some of the topics, or tips you might call them, that I would have liked to cover:

  1. Never tell a girl you love her on the first date AND in bed.
  2. Don’t ask the girl if she loves you while you are fucking her.  She’s either going to lie or ignore the question.
  3. Let the girl talk now and then, and not just when you’re asking her if she likes anal or swallows.
  4. Don’t call a girl “sugar tits” until you’ve dated for at least a month.
  5. Don’t try anal on a girl unless she gives explicit permission beforehand.
  6. Don’t talk about your ex’s unless asked about them.
  7. Don’t talk incessantly about your ex’s at all.
  8. Don’t ask a girl how many or what types of men she’s been with before you.  If she wants you to know she will tell you.  (It’s not a good idea to volunteer this information to a guy, ever.)
  9. Don’t treat your whiny little girly mini-dog like a baby in front of the new girl.
  10. If you find sex or bodily fluids to be too dirty or disgusting and you don’t want them on your sheets or bed, then don’t have sex!  Giving a girl a handful of tissues and telling her to stuff it in before you pull out is just wrong.  Hello!  OCD calling!  That plus getting immediately out of bed after sex completely cuts out the chance for any post-coital cuddling or enjoyment of the moment.  Just hire a hooker or buy a blow-up doll!
  11. If you’re going to cook for a girl, have the decency to let her eat it while it’s still hot/warm and not ice-cold.  Just because you don’t know how to time your cooking and/or you’re not hungry right then, she may be and cold food sucks.
  12. Don’t try to choke a bitch in bed.  Asphyxiation is not a turn-on for most women.
  13. Don’t pretend like you don’t know that you have a big cock.  That’s just sad.
  14. Get some damn self-confidence.  Being a whiny “I’ve been hurt so many times by women” pussy is not going to help in your quest for a decent girlfriend.
  15. Take a girl out, you know, like on a real date.  Cooking out at home and watching a movie is fine occasionally, but not every time.  I need to know how you act in public.
  16. Don’t lay in bed farting on the third date.  That’s not funny and not a turn-on.  I don’t know you that well yet.  Hell, I didn’t even like it when my ex-husband would do that.  It’s gross.

I could keep going, but I think that pretty much covers the main points.  Why did I not dump him after the first date you may ask.  Well, it’s simple.  I believe in giving the person a good chance before making a full conclusion.  However, after three dates, if this is the type of behavior that seems to be “normal” for a person, then something is definitely wrong and these are issues that cannot be ignored.  I do have my standards, even if they aren’t that high.

Happy humping & let’s hope for better luck next time!

13 days until I turn 37

Today marks the 13th day before I turn 37.  As I move closer to 37 my mind wanders.  What are the things that I love and hate the most about myself?  I’m going to use these last 37 days to find out.

13.

I love that I actually had the courage not to answer “yes” to a heart wrenching question tonight.

I hate that I knew in my heart that I shouldn’t say “yes.”

13 is definitely not my lucky number anymore.