Tag Archive | attraction

A Stalker of My Own

Remember what I said in my last post about wanting to notice the little things more?  Well, this proves I have a long way to go, but I’m getting there.

Mississippi-Natchez-Trace-Parkway-fall-foliageIt was the fall of 2012.  I was living in Bumfuck, Mississippi.  Boredom had set in once again and I took to the internet for entertainment.  It was a little website called Plenty of Fish.  I started talking to Woody.  At first he reminded me of Art, but as we talked I realized that he was more of a country version of Art.  He was artsy and cool, but he is also a very tall handsome former marine who likes to hunt & fish.

We talked for a while, but it never worked out so that we could meet.  He lived an hour and a half from Bumfuck, so it was difficult to work it out.  Then, of course, I met Teacher and then my car died.  So that was pretty much the end of that.

Fast forward a year and a half or so to about a month ago.

I’m newly single, back on the dating websites, and thinking back.  Thinking back to a guy I used to talk to who seemed very cool, Woody.  I checked my phone to see if I still had his number.  I didn’t have it anymore.  I checked POF to see if his profile was still up.  It wasn’t.  So my search ended there.

Anyway, I decided to go back on Plenty of Fish a couple of weeks ago and while perusing the profiles I saw one that had viewed my profile and even though it didn’t have a picture, I decided to read it.  It was hilarious in a very sarcastic funny kind of way, so I added the profile as a favorite thinking that maybe I’d send it to my sister later.

Just over a week ago I went to the local watering hole to hear Teacher sing and play, and to just have some drinks with friends.  Most of the night I sat out on the patio with my friend DC.  She’s a very talented artist who has a studio here in town.  While she and I were on the patio talking, a man walked up and asked me if he could borrow my lighter.  I let him use mine, then he handed it back.  Before he walked off he sort of paused and smiled.  I didn’t think much of it other than “damn, he’s cute.”  But DC and I were talking so I just continued with our conversation after he left.

Tonight I was looking at POF again and I got a message.

“Hey its me Woody. What da heck happened with you and Teacher?  It was hard not to talk to you at that Thursday gig. I borrowed your lighter though.  It’s me Woody. We talked on here a while back. Then I ran into you at an outdoor gig in town. I was handing out [local arts magazine].”

Um, what?  I remembered the cute guy asking to borrow my lighter.  I remembered the guy at the gig in town last summer.  I remembered the name Woody.  I didn’t understand though.  If we had talked in the past, why didn’t he just introduce himself?  So I asked him.

He said that he thought I was with Teacher and he was trying to be respectful.

I immediately looked him up on Facebook.  LOL  I started looking through his profile and started noticing things.  Such as, he was at several other events that I had also attended.  He’s in a lot of the same Facebook groups that I’m in.  He is friends with Teacher and a few other people that I know.  Evidently from what he told me and from what I found out on Facebook, he’s been lurking around for about a year now, never introducing himself to me because of Teacher.  Once he saw me on POF again, he figured it was safe to message me again.  I’m so glad he did.

It one thing to have a stalker who is threatening or weird, but to have one who is courteous and polite and respectful is not such a bad thing.  It’s kind of flattering.

So we talked some more tonight and he said he’s going out of town for the weekend, but he wants to hang out as soon as he gets back.  I confess I’m a little giddy.  The whole thing is a little surreal, but I have a feeling it’s going to be a lot of fun. 🙂

Happy humping!

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Viagra: The Great Deceiver

thingThing was a former body builder in his late forties.  His hobbies included going to the gym daily, eating 8,000 calories a day, working, and playing with firearms.  His arms were huge by the way, and his ass was hard as a rock.  Just picture the Thing, but without all the weird rock skin.

His personality wasn’t as satisfying though.  He was not what I’d call exciting by any means.  He was nice and somewhat talkative, but that was about it.  On our first date we drank several beers at his house while he cooked dinner.  Actually I think he went through a full case, but he is a big guy.  The date started early in the afternoon.  We went out to the woods and he let me shoot his .22 (that’s a hand gun 😉 ) for a while.  I killed an empty beer box, so that was fun.  Then we went back to his house.  By the time we got to 5 o’cock he started making his move.

I was fairly tipsy by then so I just went with the flow.  Actually I kind of attacked him…in a good way of course.  My hormones had been in overdrive and he seemed like a good outlet.  We made out for about ten minutes in his kitchen and I finally just asked him if he wanted to go to the bedroom.

Once we got to the bedroom he stripped me down, then he stripped down and I got to see him in all his musclebound glory.  Unfortunately the muscles were the only impressive things about him.  He was ok though.  We had sex, then I fell asleep.  About an hour later I woke up to him pulling the covers off of me and getting ready for another go.  Afterwards, I fell asleep again.  Another hour later, yep, you guessed it, he was back for round three.

After round three I thought surely he’d let me get more than an hour of sleep.  He did.  He waited two hours until wanting round four.  By then I was exhausted.  I managed to get another couple of hours of sleep before rounds five and six.Viagra-Ring-Results

As I lay there after round six, I couldn’t help but wonder, WTF dude?  He’s almost fifty years old and just came six times in less than 12 hours.  I was so tired that Viagra hadn’t even crossed my mind.  I was tired and sore and couldn’t think straight, so I slept.

He took me home the next morning.  He had to take his mom to church.  It was Easter Sunday, the day that I have chosen over the years to celebrate my debauchery at it’s finest.

Five days later he came over to my place.  We didn’t waste much time getting into the bedroom.  Naturally I thought it would be like last time.  Not that I wanted another sex marathon, but one good time would have sufficed.  That didn’t happen.  He came within three minutes.  I, however, didn’t, at all.

He headed to the bathroom after he finished, so while he was in there I got dressed.  I tried to lead him back to the living room and towards the door because at that point I just wanted him to leave.  He did.

So, after consulting my sister on the matter, we decided that Viagra, or the lack thereof, must have been to blame for that second “date” disaster.  Shame on you makers of Viagra.  You got my hopes up and then sent them crashing back down.

Happy humping, and humping, and humping, and humping!

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How to make the Preacher’s Daughter’s panties fall off

First, take me to a nice dinner & for drinks after.  It doesn’t have to be anything too fancy, but definitely not McDonald’s or the Sizzler.

Second, take me to a Bruno Mars concert.  (I get chills just thinking about that man.  Funny, sexy, talented.  The trifecta that I love.  His bass player is pretty hot too.  Mmmm bass.)

Third, watch as my panties fall to the floor, and then prepare to have the best sex you’ve ever had…once we get back to the room.  I ain’t no ho.  It’s not like I’m gonna bang you in the bathroom or anything.  Maybe a little head in the cab though.

Note: This is not the only way to make my panties fall off; it’s just the best way.

Happy humping!  (Shake that ass! Show me whatcha workin’ with!)

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Drawn to the music(ian)

Steve Perry

I’ve almost dreaded writing this post in a way.  Although it’s been on my mind a lot lately, I just didn’t know what to think of it.  It seems, after much thought and consideration, that I am intrinsically drawn to musicians when it comes to dating.  What prompted me to finally post this was a friend request that I received on Facebook yesterday.  It was from Endymion.  Yes, the one and only.  Even though I haven’t seen him in a year or even spoken to him in a very long time, he evidently still remembers me.

Don’t worry.  I’m not interested in anything with him.  I’ve moved on to greener pastures.  My main point here is that after I accepted his friend request I saw that he has just graduated from a guitar building school.  That reminded me that he also is a musician.  So I started thinking back and trying to remember how many musicians I’ve dated or been out with.  Here’s my list so far.

  1. Rocker (you don’t know about him yet)
  2. O’Brother (another you don’t know about yet)
  3. Curly (and another…)
  4. Musicman
  5. Yankee Cowboy
  6. Bluegrass
  7. Bobblehead Nerd
  8. Smooth (Ok, I’ll just have to add all these guys to the book. I didn’t realize I had left out so many.)
  9. Rocketman
  10. Mountain Man
  11. Art
  12. Endymion
  13. Teacher

So, I’d have to say that for me to have never consciously made an effort to date musicians, I sure as hell do date a lot of them.  The more I think about it, the more I remember.  Luckily, after Googling “attracted to musicians“, I found out that I’m not the only woman afflicted with this problem.  Research even shows that women really are more attracted to musicians.  I really like this article that lists the “Top 5 Reasons Why You’re Attracted to Guys (and Gals) in Bands.”  It all makes sense to me now and I know that I’m not some kind of groupie freak who unknowingly seeks out musicians to date.  Whew, what a relief.

Mmm...sexy.

Mmm…sexy.

After all this thinking back and remembering and researching, I’ve come to the conclusion that even though I never thought I had a “type” physically, I definitely have a “type” musically.  So I guess it’s a good thing that Teacher is such an awesome musician, because evidently that just makes me want him even more, without even realizing it.

Also, I couldn’t end this post without reiterating my love of Willie Nelson, who as you all know, is an awesome musician.  Could this have contributed to my love of musicians?  Maybe.  If so, then they all owe Willie a debt of gratitude.  😉

Happy humping & play on!

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Locked out of heaven: How I know when I’m in love

Music-is-Love-music-1123041_768_576Teacher and I have dated for about a month and a half now, and since it’s been a crazy few weeks I thought I should do a recap of what’s been going on.

Two weeks ago I helped Teacher move into his new place and had a wonderful weekend hanging out with him.  On Sunday night we were in his room, bringing stuff in, and he stopped me and told me he loved me.  I was surprised, but it wasn’t totally unexpected.  As I was leaving one night the week before, I thought I heard him let it slip out, but I wasn’t sure so I didn’t say anything.  It was one of those quick “love you, bye” type things.  Like I said, I wasn’t sure so I acted like I didn’t hear anything.

After that night I started thinking about it and couldn’t stop.  I kept wondering if I just really liked him and was mistaking it for something more, or if I was just getting ahead of myself, of if I just really wanted it to be love.  Self-doubt is a bitch.  All week I wondered if I should say it first or wait for him to say it, because what if he didn’t feel the same way…what if he’d think I was rushing things…what if…oh damn…too many “what ifs” to worry about.  I decided to just wait and see what happened.  Then he went and said it first, and he didn’t say it in bed!  Brownie points for Teacher! 😉

pkdividerA little over a week ago I was headed out of town to see Teacher perform at a local pub.  I was running late because my sister didn’t approve of my first three outfits, but I had to stop and get gas before leaving town.  When I was about ten miles out of town, I heard an awful clicking noise.  I let down my window and then I heard a really loud pop.  My car then lost all power and I had to drift off to the side of the highway.  Fortunately it was not quite dark yet, but it was getting dark fast and about to storm, and I couldn’t even turn my flashers on.

Besides being late, stuck on the side of the road, and about to be caught in a storm, my window wouldn’t roll back up.  I called AAA, but unfortunately I forgot to renew my membership, so I was screwed.  Then I remembered that my sister had AAA, so I called her.  She was not amused by my plea for help, but she did offer to let me call AAA myself and pretend to be her so that they could come and tow me back to town.  She’s so thoughtful.

So I called them and they said that they would send a tow truck “as soon as possible.”  I hate that phrase.  When AAA says that, it usually means you’ll be sitting there sweating your ass off for a few hours.  So I called my sister back and told her that it might be a while, and could she come and meet me there since I was in the dark and about to be in the rain on the side of the road.  She agreed, and off sis and Little Bubba went to rescue me.

While I was waiting on my rescuers to arrive, I sent Teacher a text telling him that I wasn’t going to make it and he immediately called me to see if I was alright.  I explained the situation and said I’d talk to him the next day.  After we hung up he sent me a text saying that he missed me.  I replied, “I miss you too.  Sing one for me. ;)”  His reply was pretty awesome.  He said, “I’ll sing all of them for you!”

They arrived about a half hour later while I was sitting in my car playing Candy Crush on my new iPhone (courtesy of Bossman).  After sitting in the truck with them for another half hour, AAA finally called me back and said that they couldn’t find a tow truck for me, and they asked if I could wait until the morning.  I didn’t really have much choice, so I agreed.  I got everything I could out of the car, locked it up (yes, even though the window was half way down I still locked it), and we went back home.

pkdividerOver the last few weeks I’ve received messages from Manwhore, Golfer, EB and others trying to talk me into meeting them for a little “fun.”  Flattery is often my weakness, as you’ve probably noticed.  This time it was just nice to hear, but didn’t make me want to see any of them.  I even received a very nice message on Facebook from Thord on Sunday.  Last week I changed my Facebook status from “single” to “in a relationship with [Teacher]” and I guess Thord noticed.

His message said, “You could have just said you were dating someone.  😉  I wouldn’t have kept bugging you so much!”  I told him that he wasn’t bugging me at all.  In fact I hadn’t heard from him in two weeks.  Then he said, “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous. lol”  Now this is the kicker…he said, “Like… I feel like I had a delicious bite of ice cream, the best there is, then the place went out of business and discontinued the ice cream.  So sad!  Well, you have my number and my Facebook, and I hope that if you ever want to talk you will.  You’re an amazing woman and I hope that we can at least be friends.  I’ll do my best not to try and steal you away.  Oh, and just so you know. You really were absolutely amazing.”

How freaking sweet is he?!  Out of all the men I’ve dated in the past, he’s the one who deserves to find a great woman to be with.  I hope he finds her sooner than later, and that he doesn’t turn into a womanizing jackass like so many of the others I’ve dated.  Maybe it’s just his youth, or his shy nature, but I like to think that he’s just really a nice guy.

pkdividerSo how do I know when I’m in love?  Well, I usually don’t know until I’ve had my heart broken.  This time is different though.  When he looks at me, when he sneaks my name into a song, when he sings “I want to rock your gypsy soul”, when he holds me tight, when I can’t stop thinking about him, when I find myself worrying about him, but mostly, it’s when I have no desire to be with any other man…when their flattering words just make me smile and nothing more, then my thoughts wander back to him…that’s how I know.

Happy humping!

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