Kilt be gone

You know how I said that some dreams come true? Well, they do. Then they turn into nightmares. Maybe not nightmares, but at least a bad dream.

The Scotsman started getting weird on New Year’s Day. Then two days later we were broken up. Now I’m desperate for dick and looking for trouble in all the wrong places.

When you wish upon a star

Sometimes dreams do come true, no matter how small and insignificant they may seem.

sexykiltSix years ago I wrote a post called “Amen Snoop. Amen.” In the post I described a dream that I had about a tall Scottish god of a man in a kilt with legs like tree trunks. Well, guess what? I finally met him last week. He’s 6’3″ with dark wavy hair and legs, well, like tree trunks. Also, he’s Scottish, accent and all. Although he wasn’t wearing a kilt when I met him, he still managed to make me weak in the knees. Oh, and I found the Loch Ness Monster. I’d say I found it under the kilt, but like I said, unfortunately, there was no kilt. So at least I finally got to find out who the Scottish hunk in my dream was.

I know you’re probably wondering what happened with my soon to be ex-husband, Buck.  Well, he’s still being a disgusting whore. Except now I think he’s sunk lower and has become a full-blown meth head who has to prostitute himself out to support his bad habits. I think this because he keeps posting pictures and videos and tweeting about it. He tries to say that all the stuff that he posts is “just talk”, but I’m not stupid enough to believe that.

So I’m working on a strategy for the divorce and moving on with my life. This Preacher’s Daughter has had enough of losers, users, and abusers. I’m ready to enjoy my freedom and maybe even spend some time with a decent man for a change.

Until next time…

Peace, love, & happiness.

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7 Stages of Grief and Revenge

Since my last post I’ve been through the ups and downs of dealing with a breakup and eventual divorce. According to Psychology Today the seven stages are:

  1. Desperate for answers
  2. Denial
  3. Bargaining
  4. Relapse
  5. Anger
  6. Initial Acceptance
  7. Redirected Hope

I have gone through them all in the past few weeks, but mostly I was in the Anger stage from day one. Even though I have moved on to acceptance and am now redirecting my hope, I am still very angry.  I know from experience with breakups and divorces that I tend to hold on to the anger for a very long time.  It took over a decade for me to let go of the anger that I felt towards my first husband.  So I know it’s not easy.

14440941_10153959826471245_6575377571505592407_nWith Buck I knew almost from the very first moment that I confronted him about his cheating and lying that we would never again be a couple and that I could not live with him ever again.  When someone hurts you that bad, it’s almost impossible to just forgive and forget.  There is no forgetting the pictures, the videos, the emails, and the text messages that I saw from him to various other people.  The one girl in particular that he had seen without my knowledge hurt me more than the rest because not only was Buck calling me horrible names and making fun of me with her, he had her calling me those same awful names.  And to top it all off he was bragging about all the lying, cheating, and how he was just using me for my money.  Here’s a quote from one of his texts: “I need wifey to pay pigs bills so it can have money for you.”  Does that sound like a good and decent human being? Fuck no.  He’s a pig quite literally, because that’s what he likes to be called by his mistresses and princesses who he pays to abuse him and treat him like garbage.  That is until they get horny and let him eat their pussy and assholes.  Then he has the balls to brag about coming home to me and kissing me with their piss and shit and god knows what else on his breath.

1507713_617184971698483_495194207582587759_nOf course he denies it all and says that it was all “just talk.”  Sound familiar?  I think I’ve heard that disgusting pig Donald Trump say something similar.

The list is endless as far as the awful things he’s said and done.  So, I may have already deleted all of his online accounts that I could get into, but the war is far from over.  He dropped off the “do it yourself” divorce papers over a week ago.  I still haven’t signed them and won’t until I’m satisfied that he has repaid the debt he owes me.  I know revenge isn’t always a good plan, that maybe I should let karma handle it, but just in case, I am going to make sure he pays.  No man or woman should be let off scot-free after they have destroyed someone’s life, self-esteem, and self-confidence like he has.

cheater_carMy only regret at this point is that I didn’t back up his old phone to my computer before he had a chance to report it lost and wipe it clean.  That’s ok though because I did manage to get enough screen shots and pictures saved before he wiped it.  I may not be the smartest cookie, but I know enough to be dangerous.  And he found that out the hard way.

So for now I’m going to continue trying to move on with my life while also trying to expunge him from my life without feeling like he’s going unpunished.

Until next time…

Peace, love, & happiness.

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Don’t piss off the nerdy girl

A week ago I told you that I had let  my husband Buck back into the apartment.  After nearly a week of him staying here, I finally kicked him out permanently on Saturday.  He had started moving his stuff out on Friday, but he messaged me that night asking if he could stay here because he had nowhere to go.  I agreed because as angry as I am with him, I don’t want anyone to be out on the street.  Damn my moral convictions and good-hearted nature.

0d6He bought a new cell phone a few weeks ago and his old cell phone was left here, so I had hidden it for later use.  I was able to hack into it and found out everything and anything I could ever want to know about his evil doings.  That is when I originally kicked him out on the 17th.  Then on Saturday I was looking at it again and found text messages between him and the little meth-head whore mistress that he had been seeing.  He had promised her that when he got his school refund check he would buy her a new laptop, get her internet installed, a day of shopping, and an ounce of weed.  Another text said that he had to take me to lunch to get $50 from me (I thought it was for gas, food, etc.) and he was bringing it over to her.  MOTHERFUCKER!  He was taking my hard-earned money and giving it to this whore, and no telling how many other people, just so they would beat his ass and make him eat shit and piss and perform oral on them.

I found out so many other things too.  Evidently he has done things behind my back ever since we moved here. He’s also been meeting up with men that he finds through Craigslist ads and other gay hookup and bondage sites.  What really pissed me off is when I saw that he had been getting fucked in the ass.  I was pissed off because for two years he’s been telling me that I couldn’t fuck him with my strap-on because of his hemorrhoids and he just couldn’t have anything in his ass anymore.  MOTHERFUCKING LIAR!

cheating_husband-1506624There are so many things wrong with what he was doing.  The first is that he had no respect for me and my safety. He not only was having unprotected sex with multiple people (as in dozens or more), but he was letting them into our home when I wasn’t here.  He even had ads posted on Craigslist advertising that he wanted men to come over and fuck him and the door would be unlocked and he would be blindfolded and ready.  OMFG!  What if I had come home early?  What if one of these men had shown up when I was here alone?  I don’t even feel safe in my home anymore.  I never know when some psycho is going to see his pictures (with name and address) online and just show up at my door.  Or worse yet, what if someone I know finds his disgusting pictures online.

I know this is just one big ugly angry rant, but that’s what I need now.  I thought that I would never hate someone as much as I hate my first husband who was a total liar and scam artist.  I was wrong.  I hate Buck now more than I’ve ever hated anyone.  He is not only a liar and a cheater, but he is also a depraved disgusting human being who cares about no one but himself.  I would wish for something horrible to happen to him, but I think that’s going to happen no matter what.  Everything he does moves him closer to a horrible lonely death.

unfaithful-spouses_555Since I can’t kill him, I decided to destroy him in other ways.  So far I have deleted most of his online sex/dating/hookup profiles and his “secret” email accounts.  Lets call it, a little push in the right direction.  Also, since he even lied to his mother about why we are splitting up, I told her the truth.  He told her it was NOT because he had been unfaithful.  I let her know that was far from the truth.  It’s a start I guess.

I can’t write about everything he’s done in one post, so I’m going to stop here for now.  Thanks for reading.

Ginger

 

Setting Precedent: The Follow-up

In my last post I told you about Buck cheating on me and lying to me.  I am far from over this, but for now I did allow him to come back to the apartment.  We had a long talk yesterday.  I reminded him of the rules that are in place so as to make the “open marriage” concept work for us.  Obviously it wasn’t working for him.  He had it so easy.  All he had to do was be honest with me and not lie and hide things from me.  He realizes that now, but it’s too late.  I’m not sure I can recover from this betrayal.

He told me that he can’t stop and won’t stop being with other people.  I knew that already, but I thought with the rules we had agreed upon that it would not be that big of a problem.  So, now I realize that it’s not just that he wants to be with other people, it’s that he wants to be sneaky and for it to be taboo.  He doesn’t enjoy it as much if I know what he’s doing.  I understand that there is an element of excitement to cheating, but the price you pay is never worth it.  Unfortunately for me, I’m probably going to be the one who pays the greatest price with my health.  He doesn’t use protection and doesn’t seem to understand that you can still get an STD from performing oral on someone.  I told him it’s only a matter of time before it all comes to a crashing halt, and I’m not willing to just ignore his idiotic behavior anymore.

He has no respect for me, and he sure as hell doesn’t care about my feelings or needs.  So I’m guessing that this marriage (number three for me) will probably end much sooner than “till death do us part.”  I swear to God and Jesus and Bruno Mars that I will never ever get married again, not even for the health insurance.  I’d rather die of a wonky heart than have to put up with this shit any more.

Dumb ass.  Just like my sister Fallen Angel says, men are all dumb ass motherfuckers who are selfish pricks.  They can’t be trusted with anything, especially their own cocks.

One more thing.  I owe an apology to my friends in Mississippi.  They tried to warn me about Buck.  They didn’t like him and I just thought it was because I was moving away with him.  I was so wrong.  They were right.  Buck is a lazy, selfish, cheating, lying, son-of-a-bitch.  Damn, I have horrible taste in men.  WTF is wrong with me?