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Pirate Play

So it turns out that Redbeard is less this…

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And more this…

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He sent me the following message tonight:

“Hi, sorry for the slow response. Just been doing alot of thinking. It’s time we need to say goodbye. I’m not mad or upset, just wanting more than fwb. I hate to do this via messenger but I don’t even have your number. I really like you but you just don’t want what I want, and that’s ok. Your a cool lady and I hope you find what your looking for. Goodbye, Miss [Ginger].”

Without really thinking it through, I immediately replied:

“Ok. I’m not surprised. I figured you’d dump me before your birthday. Good luck. Bye.”

That was the end of our communications.  Either I’m a damn ice queen now or I really just don’t give a fuck anymore.  It’s kind of nice.  I think I’m finally becoming an ADULT!  Just kidding.  That’s never going to happen.

I’m just not ready for husband #4.  I don’t mind dating someone, but what’s the rush?

I’ve finally got a job that I love, a groovy apartment, a great family, and the internet.  How could I possibly need anything more?  This living single shit is awesome.  I don’t have to wait to get into my own bathroom in the mornings.  I don’t have to rush.  I don’t have to make my bed if I don’t want to, and if I do, it’s because I honestly do want to.  I don’t have share the closet!  That’s a big plus.

I smoke, I drink my sweet tea, and I watch any damn thing I want to watch on television.  Life could always be better, but for right now, this is pretty pretty pretty pretty good.

Until next time…

Peace, love, & happiness.

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Life goes on, man.

thedudeSo, I’m still alive.  After my last post I had to wait a few more weeks before I could see the cardiologist.  The only problem was that I still didn’t have health insurance and I knew the follow-up visit with the cardiologist and any further testing was just going to put me further in debt.  I had checked into “Obama care” but it was outside of the enrollment period so I was running out of options.  However, if you have a “qualifying life event”, such as a marriage, you can enroll outside of the enrollment period.  So that’s exactly what I did.  I asked Buck if he would go ahead and marry me so that I could get the health insurance.  Very romantic isn’t it?

When I called the Preacher to tell him, I hesitated because this is marriage number three for me and I was afraid he would think I was making anther mistake.  However, when I was telling him about the insurance and how I had to have a “qualifying life event” such as a marriage, he immediately asked, “So when’s the wedding?”  Oh, Daddy.  You’re such a softy.  He knows me so well, and at this point in our lives he doesn’t even bother to question my motives or actions.  I do love that Preacher Daddy of mine.

weddingpicAnyway, because Buck didn’t want me to die and because we were eventually going to get married anyway (I assumed), he agreed and on June 11, 2016, I became a married woman, again.  We planned on going to the courthouse and having a quickie wedding, but his mother wouldn’t allow it.  We ended up having a nice little, and I do mean little, wedding on the back deck of her house.  There were a dozen people there and that included the bride and groom.  My family couldn’t make it due to the short notice, so it was mostly Buck’s family.  My boss lady did come to support me though.  She’s a sweetie.  She even made me a gorgeous bouquet to match my dress.  Speaking of my dress, it wasn’t an actual wedding dress.  It was a white 50’s style dress with a pretty print of cherries and little yellow flowers that I found on Amazon.com for a whopping $25.   I wore red shoes to give it that extra little pop. 🙂

this-is-your-ordinationSo after the wedding there was no honeymoon, just a super short reception and then back home to hang out with our Dude and our Red-Headed Step-Child.  Our Dude is literally our “dude” (you know, the guy you buy your herbs from).  He also is an ordained priest in the Church of the Latter-Day Dude.  (I HIGHLY recommend having your Dude perform your wedding ceremony.)  Our Red-Headed Step-Child is our friend who is a manager of a clothing store by day, and a Drag Queen by night.  She’s Buck’s friend who originally thought I was a crazy stalker luring him to Mississippi to show him my nonexistent shrine to him and then steal his kidney.  Needless to say, they are two of my favorite people.

Now that we’re married it’s time to get back to me…my heart I mean.  I went to the doctor and she told me that I needed to have a heart cath in order for them to find out for certain whether I had any blockages in my heart.  I had that done last Thursday.  They put a tiny tube in a vein in my right wrist and then up to my heart.  I was somewhat medicated so I don’t remember it all, but I assume they shot some dye in, looked around, and saw that there were no blockages.  However, while they were poking around, my heart decided to do it’s crazy arrhythmia thing and they had to give me a shot of something to get it back to normal, temporarily.

So now my wrist is all bruised up and it’s sore, but I’ll live, I hope.  I have a follow-up visit with the doctor on Friday to find out what they are going to do about my wonky heartbeat.  It’s not supposed to be life threatening really, but it’s bad enough to cause me to have lots of chest pain and make me weak and tired all the time.  I’m hoping they are just going to go back in and stick a pacemaker in me and get it over with.

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I may work in a Beauty School, but I am no Beauty School Drop Out. Also, I think this should be my Halloween Costume this year. 🙂

Until then I’m keeping my nitroglycerin pills handy and trying to keep my stress levels low.  That is easier said than done of course.  My job is insane and my co-workers are equally insane and the students like to test my patience and sanity.  I will get through this though, just like everything else.  Even though I may hit bottom, many times, I always make my way back up to the surface long enough to catch my breath.

Until next time…

Peace, love, & happiness.

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Going in Circles

Twenty years and nine states later, I’m right back where I started.  My 41st birthday was last week.  Twenty years ago I was living here in Tennessee working as a church secretary.  Now, I’m living back in Tennessee, working in a minimum wage retail job.  Not much difference.  I deal with assholes and grumpy people all day, and the occasional nice person.  I’m ignored, belittled, and treated like a minion much of the time.  I just keep on smiling and saying hello, because that is part of what I’m being paid to do.  It’s only when one of my favorite customers comes in that I am able to drop the act and genuinely smile and be happy to greet someone.

The funny thing is, that even when I’m grumpy and don’t want to be there, I still smile and act friendly.  Even when I don’t want to.  Sometimes I just want to snap at people because they are just so damn clueless.  Because of this I’ve come up with a list of my pet peeves.  These are things that people do when they are in the store that absolutely drive me insane and make me want to a) scream, b) cry, c) throw my badge on the counter and walk out, or d) all the above.

Do:

  • Acknowledge the cashier or store employee when they welcome you to the store.  This could mean saying hello or even just smiling back.
  • Be prepared.  Have your discount card, coupons, money, and/or ID ready before you get to the register.  I’m trying to check you out in the friendliest yet most efficient way.  Please help me help you.
  • Get off your damn phone!  Do be courteous, as I will do the same.cellphonerude
  • Empty your basket.  Again, help me help you as quickly as possible.
  • Put your basket/cart back where you got it.  I sometimes give the elderly a pass on this one.shopping cart
  • Control your children.  Germs are real folks, and your children are not welcome to drool and climb all over the counters grabbing the scanner and everything else within reach.

Don’t:

  • Be rude to the cashier.  That includes being on your cellphone, not saying a word to the person helping you, throwing items or money on the counter (like throwing spare change at a beggar), and thinking the cashier is a mind reader.rude
  • Be a snob.  Just because the cashier is doing a job that you think is beneath you, just imagine what you would be willing to do to take care of your family and be able to feed them.
  • Be “holier than thou.”  One lady actually said to me, “Honey if you were perfect you wouldn’t be working here.”  I hate the Sunday crowd the most.  The so-called God-fearing Christians are usually some of the rudest, meanest, most judgmental people I have to deal with.
  • Think we’re lazy and/or not intelligent just because we are working a minimum wage job.  (At least I’m working.  It might not be my dream job, but I bring home a paycheck and pay my own bills.)
  • Give the cashier gospel tracts.  I know that you think that they might be the one in a hundred who actually reads it and finds the Lord, but no.  Save the sermons for the parking lot.  They have a job to do and taking them with a smile, then throwing away your little cutesy tracts after you walk out the door is not in the job description.
  • Tell us your latest racist or sexist or off-color joke.  You will receive the death stare.1i-chzbgr

I guess that’s all for now.  I’m sure I’ll have to add to this list later on.  Just remember to be nice to cashiers.  We have to do a lot of math and deal with assholes all day long.  On top of that we have to go around a clean up after you.  (I’m talking to you.  The ones who like to walk half way around the store before deciding they don’t want something, and then just set it down anywhere before heading to the checkout.)e4f9348b43ufq

I’ll take a beer now please.

Peace, love, & happiness.

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Office Space Jam

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So I started a new job six weeks ago.  I quit three weeks ago.  I totally hated it and was about to have a nervous breakdown.  It’s not really something I wanted to do, or am comfortable doing, but I was going to do it anyway because it was a decent job with decent pay.  I’m actually kind of missing my old job, but it’s too late to change all of that now.  The job was working at a huge call center in collections.  Not something I was overjoyed about to begin with.

The job was in a huge corporate office and that’s definitely an environment I’m not used to being in.  I’ve worked for large companies before, but nothing quite like that.  That place has strict rules and procedures.  I have no problem with all that, as long as it doesn’t make me feel like a drone, which I started to think I’d end up as at that place.

Cube-iquette1Don’t get me wrong, the benefits were good and the pay was not bad.  However, it just wasn’t the place for me.  The people were friendly in a weird brainwashed kind of way, but I noticed some very odd, almost childish, behavior patterns.  Stupidity and childishness in the workplace tends to irritate the shit out of me.  Honestly, I was just trying to hold out as long as possible or at least until I could find something that I’m better suited to doing.

So, now that I’m unemployed I’ve had to start job hunting again.  I hate job hunting.  I’ve been on a few interviews, but so far no luck.  The last interview that I had was today.  It was an online video conference interview with a woman at an employment agency.  The interview went great, but I noticed towards the end of the interview that there was a man behind her.  He had turned around in his chair and was watching her computer screen and me I suppose.  He looked very interested in what he was watching, so I’m hoping that he was not just ogling me and instead maybe he was her supervisor or something.  I still found it a bit odd.

Being my first online video interview I was already a bit freaked out by the whole thing.  I’ve successfully avoided having a laptop with a webcam for the past forty years, but a few weeks ago my old laptop was about to die and Buck bought me a new one, and it has a built-in camera & microphone.  I absolutely hate being on camera and video.  I’m too self-conscious and shy.  Don’t laugh.  It’s true. 😉  I suppose I’ll have to get used to it though because evidently that’s how people do business and stuff these days.  Damn, I’m getting old.  OK, now you can laugh.

One last thing that I have to complain about…the weather here.  I’ve been in Tennessee for two and a half months already and my nose has yet to thaw out and I can’t stop shivering.  Thankfully the snow has melted, but it’s still too damn cold here.  I do miss that Mississippi sunshine.  That’s all.  Thanks for tolerating my moaning and complaining.

Also, since I’m unemployed and broke now, if you feel like looking to the right of this page and clicking on the donate button, it would be most appreciated.  All I need is a dollar…or two…or twenty.  A girl’s gotta eat you know.  Plus I’m not quite ready to hit the corner and start turning tricks. 😉

As always…

Peace, love, & happiness.

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Adventures in Wholesale

I’ve started a new section called “Quotes from Fallen Angel” because my sister sent me the following story tonight and I told her she deserved her own section on my blog.  So here it is!  Enjoy!

At work the other night Friend Cashier said that Bitch Cashier said she’s called.  I asked “Called what?!”  (Bitch Cashier really is a bitch by the way.)

“To preach!” replied Friend Cashier.

I snorted and said, “Well, I was called to be a pole dancer, but it didn’t work out.”

Five minutes later the hysterical laughter ended and we went back to work.

That is courtesy of Fallen Angel, my funny as hell sister.

To see more of her quotes, please click on the link on the menu at the top of the page.  Also, I have added a donate button on the right side of the blog.  If you would like to help support the plight of the Preacher’s Daughters please do so.  There is no minimum amount required.

Poor Little Bubba needs some financial security and 25% of all donations will go towards his education.  We want him to be one of the smart successful ones in the family one day.  Another 25% will go to our little brother The Tornado‘s education.  The other half will go towards buying sex toys for me and gas for Fallen Angel’s monster truck.  LOL  Just kidding.  I don’t use sex toys. 😉