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How to make the Preacher’s Daughter’s panties fall off

First, take me to a nice dinner & for drinks after.  It doesn’t have to be anything too fancy, but definitely not McDonald’s or the Sizzler.

Second, take me to a Bruno Mars concert.  (I get chills just thinking about that man.  Funny, sexy, talented.  The trifecta that I love.  His bass player is pretty hot too.  Mmmm bass.)

Third, watch as my panties fall to the floor, and then prepare to have the best sex you’ve ever had…once we get back to the room.  I ain’t no ho.  It’s not like I’m gonna bang you in the bathroom or anything.  Maybe a little head in the cab though.

Note: This is not the only way to make my panties fall off; it’s just the best way.

Happy humping!  (Shake that ass! Show me whatcha workin’ with!)

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Cougar Tales: Enter the Master

Alexander SkarsgardA couple of weeks ago I befriended a young man, Thord, on FetLife.  He had sent me a nice message and we had started talking.  He’s a 24-year-old  student at a nearby university.  I’m still not sure why he was on FetLife.  He doesn’t really seem to have any overt fetishes.  However, he is sort of a quiet straight-laced geeky type, so I can see how he may not be wiling to divulge his fetishes right away.  Physically, he is a good-looking muscular guy who, for some reason, reminds me of Alexander Skarsgård (Eric on True Blood).  He’s no Endymion, but he ain’t bad. 😉

We met Friday night for a drink at a nearby restaurant.  When I was on my way to the restaurant he sent me a text asking if I was nervous.  I told him that I was a little nervous and asked if he was also.  He said he was.  I contemplated replying with something like, “I don’t bite” or “Don’t worry…I’m harmless.”  Instead I chose to avoid lying to him and instead didn’t reply at all.

Once we were seated and started talking he seemed a lot more nervous than I was.  It probably helped my nerves that I was sipping on a gin & tonic, while he stuck with Sprite.  He doesn’t drink.  I find that kind of odd for a college boy, but I also find it refreshing.  I’m so sick of dating alcoholics.

I hate to admit it, but being 38 years old and sitting there with a 24-year-old hottie made me feel like the mac mama.  It wasn’t planned.  It’s not why I went to meet him, but damn if it wasn’t a nice feeling.  (Yeah, I know that any good therapist would probably say that Continue reading

When Endymion Smiles

There are just some days when I can’t help but think that I’m living a charmed life.  Here I am, a 37 year-old southern girl, living in a beautiful apartment right damn smack in the heart of New Orleans.  To top it off I spent the afternoon enjoying the attentions of my new young man, Endymion, and then writing and enjoying the beautiful day from the balcony.  I don’t think I could ask for a better day, or life, now.

I really don’t have anything deep or meaningful to tell you now, so I’ll just tell you a few things that made me smile instead.

Endymion came over about noon today.  We had discussed watching a movie, so I picked one out for us to pretend to watch.  My choice was Waking Ned Devine.  He had seen it already, but that didn’t really matter.  It’s not like we were actually going to watch it anyway.

Less than five minutes after he got here, as I was putting the DVD in the player, he came up behind me and started to run his hand up my skirt.  I managed to get the movie started and then he sat down on the bed and pulled me over to him and kissed me.  He did apologize for not being able to control himself, but he also said he just couldn’t wait.  That’s understandable.  😉

"Christmas has come early this year, Kitty." Michael O'Sullivan

As we stood out on the balcony later, he asked me how I would introduce him if we were on the street and ran into someone I knew.  I told him I would introduce him like I would anyone else.  (I wanted to say that I’d introduce him as my “24 year-old big-dicked boy-toy,” but I didn’t.)  I asked how he would introduce me.  He hesitated a moment, then said with a sly grin on his face, “I don’t know. I guess I’d say, ‘this is Ginger, my math tutor.'”  LOL  My response?  “Maybe sex ed tutor would be better.”  He laughed.

We came back to the bedroom for another round.  After we were done, he told me to lay on my side so we could spoon.  He told me that he likes to cuddle.  Wow.  Really?  A man who actually enjoys cuddling?  Those exist?  Cool.

Later he complimented me on my awesome oral skills.  I believe his exact words were, “Oh my God you are so good at that.”

Then for the grand finale.  Endymion is a college student.  He told me he needed to leave soon.  I assumed he had a class to go to.  He got up and as he was putting on his black shirt he said that he had to wear a collared shirt to seminary.  Wait.  Did I hear that right?  Seminary?  He then said that everyone else wears the black suits and shirts with priest collars, but he just had to wear a shirt with a collar.  Uh, ok.

Come to find out, my young man spends a lot of his time with priests, and in seminary, because he’s studying Latin.  I knew about the Latin part, but not about the seminary and priests parts.

So here I am corrupting this poor boy, ravaging him, and then sending him off to hang out at church with the priests.  I do believe there is a special kind of hell for people like me.  Ego sum perfututum. (I am totally fucked.)

Happy humping!

Sexy Blog Award

Sexy Blog Award

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Rules of the Sexy Blog Award

1. Post 5 sexy suggestions.

2. Post a link to your sexiest blog post.

3. Nominate 5 other sexy bloggers.

4. Let your nominees know they’re sexy.

5 Sexy Suggestions:

  1. On a week night when nothing is really going on and you have no plans, get all dolled up in a cute dress and just lounge around like it’s no big deal.  You’ll feel sexy and relaxed.  Plus it should only take about an hour for your  man to come over and start getting flirty and acting like a love-struck horn-dog.
  2. Smile.  Nothing is sexier than a happy smiling person.
  3. Guys like to be complimented too.  So don’t ignore the fact that he’s looking extremely hot today.  Let him know, and just watch his face light up.
  4. Give porn a chance.  Ladies, you might think that porn is degrading or just plain gross sometimes, but your man doesn’t think so.  If you really want to show him you care, then pop in a porn and watch it with him sometime. 😉
  5. Two words.  Oral sex.  There’s nothing sexier than a little 69 action or just blow jobs and eating out a girl.  Remember, give and you shall receive!  Sharing is caring!  LOL

My Sexiest Blog Post:

Embers of Love & Lust: Playing with Fire

5 Sexy Bloggers:

Snarky Snatch

Women are from Mars

therealcarriebradshaw101

Sex and the City (China)

singlewhitealcoholicseekssame

Thanks to vloves for the award!

Happy humping!

Fat Tuesday

Today is Fat Tuesday and the end of Mardi Gras in New Orleans.  I can’t say I’m sad to see it go, considering my car got towed because of it.  I’m not shedding any tears.

My day started out great.  Manwhore and Troll left early this morning.  I was alone in the house, and was able to go out on the balcony to enjoy my coffee.  Then Art sent me a text asking if I wanted to go out for breakfast.  I of course said yes.  He sent me another text later saying that he was on his way and in full Mardi Gras regalia.  I had no idea what to expect.

About half an hour later he shows up and rings the doorbell.  I go downstairs to let him in.  I open the door and there he is.  Oh sweet baby Jesus.  I about lost my breath, wet my undies, and had butterflies come flying out of me all at the same time.  He was wearing blue jeans, boots, a black sleeveless t-shirt, a whip coiled and tucked into a belt loop on his right side, and a red military-looking jacket that had all kinds of stuff on it and a picture of a vampire on the back.  He looked like a damn rock star with all that plus his curly blond hair topping it all off.

He explained to me that it was his lion tamer costume, or as my sister later called it, his lioness tamer costume.  Get it?  I’m the lioness.  LOL  It probably took me at least five minutes to stop mumbling and stammering every time I tried to speak.  I think just about the only thing I could say was “wow” repeatedly.  Once I had recovered I of course just wanted to skip going out for breakfast and make him my breakfast in bed.  He was hungry though, so we went out.  (I’m still drooling just writing about him in that costume.)

As we were walking around, we walked through the back of Jackson Square where there were musicians playing and there was a woman in a belly dancer outfit doing something resembling a dance.  We stopped to listen and watch for a minute.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder.  When I turned around my face went pale and I froze up for a few seconds.  It was LL Cool Bean.  He said hi, I said hi, and then he said, “I thought you said you didn’t like crowds.”  Wow.  That’s all he could come up with?  He saw me standing there with Art, who was holding my hand at the time.  He gave me a weird look and then Art spoke up and told him that we were just going to get some breakfast.  I think I half-assed introduced them to one another.  Thank God for Art though, because he promptly led me away from LL.  I was petrified and at a loss for words after that, so I didn’t mention it again to Art.  I could tell that he knew what was going on.  So there was no reason to discuss it further.

While we were walking Art asked if I had plans for this weekend.  I told him that so far I don’t have any plans.  He told me that he goes to see his three kids every other weekend and asked if I’d like to go with him this weekend.  Hmmm.  I didn’t really know what to think of this.  I should have at least asked where he stays when he goes up there.  It’s five and a half hours away.  Without really thinking it through I said that I would like to go.  I panicked afterwards when I realized that he might actually want to introduce me to his kids.  That terrifies me.  Kids and me don’t always mingle well.  It’s always a toss-up whether or not they will like me.  Oh well.  Too late now.  I’m in for another interesting weekend.

After breakfast we came back to my place and watched some of the parades and rested our tired tootsies.  We cuddled a little and ended up naked again, but I still didn’t get all of what I was looking for, which surprised me.  I thought we had cleared things up, but apparently not.  My sister’s suggestion is to take plenty of lube and condoms next weekend, because if we stay in a hotel then I will have time to figure out what the real problem is.  She may be right.  I’m willing to try anything at this point.

So Mardi Gras is finally almost over, and now I have to try to calm myself down before this weekend.  Something that probably won’t help is that I’m supposed to go hang out with Art again tomorrow while he works.  Dear Lord, I hope he doesn’t wear that jacket again tomorrow.  I’d hate to have to molest him in public. 😉

Well, there’s an hour and a half left before they shut down Bourbon Street, and it’s time for me to get some sleep.

Happy humping!