Archives

When you wish upon a star

Sometimes dreams do come true, no matter how small and insignificant they may seem.

sexykiltSix years ago I wrote a post called “Amen Snoop. Amen.” In the post I described a dream that I had about a tall Scottish god of a man in a kilt with legs like tree trunks. Well, guess what? I finally met him last week. He’s 6’3″ with dark wavy hair and legs, well, like tree trunks. Also, he’s Scottish, accent and all. Although he wasn’t wearing a kilt when I met him, he still managed to make me weak in the knees. Oh, and I found the Loch Ness Monster. I’d say I found it under the kilt, but like I said, unfortunately, there was no kilt. So at least I finally got to find out who the Scottish hunk in my dream was.

I know you’re probably wondering what happened with my soon to be ex-husband, Buck.  Well, he’s still being a disgusting whore. Except now I think he’s sunk lower and has become a full-blown meth head who has to prostitute himself out to support his bad habits. I think this because he keeps posting pictures and videos and tweeting about it. He tries to say that all the stuff that he posts is “just talk”, but I’m not stupid enough to believe that.

So I’m working on a strategy for the divorce and moving on with my life. This Preacher’s Daughter has had enough of losers, users, and abusers. I’m ready to enjoy my freedom and maybe even spend some time with a decent man for a change.

Until next time…

Peace, love, & happiness.

me_128_bigger

35 Reasons you might be rejected by the Preacher’s Daughters

These are all based on real men whom Fallen Angel and I have either:  gone out on at least one date with, talked to, or have been contacted by on dating websites.  A couple of these I actually married, but later divorced.  This is only the tip of the iceberg though.  My sister and I were able to rattle off this list in about fifteen minutes.  As we listed them I typed it into my phone.  I plan on adding more to it as time goes on, and as the memories return to us.

  1. Pretty but dumb as a box of rocks
  2. No ambition
  3. Poor
  4. Player
  5. Acts like a twelve-year-old
  6. Ball-less
  7. Doesn’t own a car and lives outside of a major city
  8. Sends four texts for every one you send
  9. Admits on his profile to being molested, and outs his sister as also being molested as a child
  10. Secretly gay
  11. Raised by the mafia
  12. Con artist
  13. You ask for a hammer and he hangs up on you
  14. Not mechanically inclined
  15. Atheist
  16. Too religious
  17. Just got out of prison
  18. Crazy baby mama
  19. Crazy ex-wife/girlfriend
  20. Has too many kids by too many women
  21. Has too many kids
  22. Gets high too much
  23. Too much facial hair
  24. Needs more facial hair
  25. Doesn’t shower on a daily basis
  26. Spends four nights a week playing pool at bars, yet doesn’t drink or gamble
  27. Lives with parents/family
  28. Talks too much
  29. Excessive drinking
  30. Superhero syndrome
  31. Posts on profile that he’s “in a relationship”
  32. Has his girlfriend/wife message you on the dating site requesting “group fun”
  33. Extreme mood swings
  34. Unacceptable in bed (dick too big, too small, too kinky, not kinky enough, selfish, or just sucks in bed)
  35. Pedophile

Created using Out of Milk, http://outofmilk.com/android

If you would like to know more about any particular one, or if you agree with Fallen Angel that we should add the full stories and turn it into a book, please leave us a comment below. 🙂  I’m trying to lure her into the world of blogging, so any help would be much appreciated.

Happy humping!

I didn’t see it coming

I told you a while back that my sister met a man the day of the trail ride & crawfish boil.  He’s a cowboy of course, and a good bit older than her.  He was also very funny and flirty.  Just her type.  So a few days later she asked if I would babysit Little Bubba for a while so that she could hang out with him.  It turned out that all they did was go across the road to Dolly’s Cabin and “hang out.”  Of course we all know what that means.

The next night after her “date” we were sitting at the dining room table eating dinner and I asked how her “date” went.  With a big goofy grin on her face she told me that it was “something.”  Something?  I wasn’t sure what that meant so I inquired further.  She told me that he was very large.  She wasn’t talking about his weight.  He’s an average sized guy.  Not bad-looking either.  No, she was talking about something else.  She said he was porn star big.  Therefore, furthermore, he will be called Porn Dick.

She explained that it was the biggest one she’d never seen.  Yes, that’s right.  She said never seen.  Evidently the lights were off when things started getting hot and heavy and then she said what would become a running joke for us.  “It was huge!  I just didn’t see it coming!”

At that point I started laughing and the conversation continued to go further into the gutter full of dick jokes and cum-filled innuendos.  I almost wet my panties I was laughing so hard.

God Hates No One

A few weeks later we were sitting on the front porch one evening talking about a sign that a local church had posted in their front window.  It said “We welcome everyone including HOMOSEXUALS. Come Sunday for explanation.”  Someone had taken a picture of it and posted it on Facebook.  The local gay/lesbian community was not happy with it, and I can’t say that I blame them.  The church in question isn’t known for its tolerance towards people with views that differ from their own.  The tag line on their website says, “Come as you are, but don’t expect to stay that way.”  Unfortunately that should be a positive message, but it’s actually more of a testimony to how judgmental and controlling they are.  It should say, “Come as you are, but if you want to keep coming you’ll have to conform to our views of what a Christian should be (not God’s).”

So while sis and I were sitting on the porch and talking I mentioned that we should start our own church for freaks and rejects.  She was amused and halfheartedly agreed.  I was serious though.  I’m sick of so-called Christians thinking that people have to conform to their beliefs to be saved.  What about God?  Shouldn’t He be the one who we are worried about pleasing and conforming to what He wants us to be?  God loves everyone.  How do these churches expect to get people to come worship with them when all they do is judge and demean anyone who doesn’t meet with their approval?

The worst part was when my sister sent a text to an acquaintance of hers.  He is a member of that very same church, and even teaches several classes there.  The text she sent him asked about the sign.  He said that he did know about the sign, but wasn’t sure what the pastor was going to “explain” on Sunday.  Then came the kicker.  He said, “Personally though, I hate fucking fags.”  Wow.  There’s a shining example of a small town dumb-ass fake Christian right there folks.

Oops.  I started getting a little preachy there didn’t I?  Well, that’s alright.  You know why?  Because while I was waiting on my chicken fingers to be deep-fried at the local gas station/fried food emporium last week, I became an ordained minister online.  It took about five minutes and it’s legal in most states.  So now not only can I do wedding ceremonies, funerals and the like, I can also start my own church if I so choose.  Who knows.  Maybe I will do just that.  The Preacher always did say that he thought I was called into the ministry.  Maybe my ministry will be helping the freaks and rejects, like myself and my sister, have a place to worship freely without fear of judgement from anyone other than God.

Happy humping!

P.S.  My sister drives me crazy in many ways, but I would never trade her for anything.

I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger…

My sister, Fallen Angel, bless her heart, has decided that men aren’t worth her time or energy unless they have something to offer her besides dinner and sex. She wants a man who can provide and take care of her and Little Bubba. I can sort of understand her thinking there, but I’ve always dated guys based on physical appearance, personality, or dick size. Monetary gain never really entered my line of thinking when it came to men. Maybe it should have. Maybe that’s why I’ve been ending up with so many losers. I feel so shallow even saying that though. It kind of gives me this weird dirty feeling, which is odd because dating guys based on cock size or physical appearance should really be what makes me feel dirty. My mind truly is a mysterious thing.

So after I moved out of the apartment & left Manwhore there to his own devices, my sister decided to give me some advice. She told me that I need to find me a rich man. It doesn’t matter if he’s old or young, as long as he’s rich. That sound like a good idea, but it’s really not very feasible or practical. Now that I’m back living in the sticks of Mississippi, there aren’t many rich men who are also tolerable enough to date, let alone be in a relationship with. So I think I’ll just stick to my plan of finding a new cub, or possibly just talking Endymion into coming to visit me here occasionally. I mentioned the idea to him today in passing, and he seemed interested in it. He’s a busy college kid though, so I don’t really expect him to drive two hours just to hang out with me for a night. It would be fun though.

I find it amusing that once I leave a city/town/state, that’s when the men come out of the woodwork and decide to tell me that I made a mistake and they wish I was still there so they could see me. Where the hell were they when I was still there? They had plenty of opportunity to go out with me before I left, but no, they wait until I’m gone to say how much they want to be with me. Men frustrate the hell out of me. They say that women are the ones who are hard to understand, but it’s actually the men who are confusing as hell. I still love them though. Damn it.

Touch me! Kiss me! Fuck me! Blah, blah, blah. Talk is cheap. Actions are what makes my panties wet.

I have no idea where that came from. Must be the allergy pills. LOL Living on the farm has it’s disadvantages, mainly the umpteen million animals that my sister owns that I’m deathly allergic to. Note to self: buy stock in Benadryl.

I still have to make one more trip to New Orleans to get the rest of my stuff. I was hoping to time it so that I could hang out with someone while I’m there, but it’s not looking too good. In the mean time I have to find a small practice amplifier for my bass guitar because I may be playing for a band. I went and practiced with them on Tuesday night. It was terrifying. I’ve never played in public outside of church. So playing in front of a group of strangers, and playing music that I’ve never played before put me way out of my comfort zone. I overcame though. They offered me a beer or four and then I was rocking it hard and had a great time. I’m really looking forward to playing with them again soon, and I hope they might even want me to play with them on a regular basis.

The thought has crossed my mind that being the only female member of a band could have its perks. I imagine there would be plenty of dirty old men and young ones too who might then see me as a “cool chick” and want to do dirty things to me. I find that oddly appealing. Until next time…

Happy humping!

P.S. I’m having to post this from my phone because we don’t have internet in these here woods. 😦 I hope it comes out ok.

Love & Sex Q&A #12

Love & Sex12

When you meet people do you ever imagine what they would look like naked or what they are like sexually?  How would you feel if you knew someone were musing about you in this way?

Oh hell yes.  Doesn’t everyone?  Of course when I meet a man who I find attractive the first place my mind wanders to is below the belt.  I can’t help it.  I swear I’m not a size queen, but c’mon.  It does matter.  I won’t go into that yet again though.  My sister admits to her mind going below the belt as well, but hers heads toward their wallets.  LOL

If I knew someone was musing about me in that way I would be flattered as long as they aren’t a rapist or anything.  I catch Manwhore doing it all the time.  Last week when the new sous-chef at work was asking me out to dinner, I caught her staring at my cleavage several times.  I wasn’t upset by that.  I was flattered.  If a young butch girl likes what she sees, then why should I have a problem with that?  Muse on my dear friends, muse on.  😉

Happy humping!