Love & Sex Q&A #12

Love & Sex12

When you meet people do you ever imagine what they would look like naked or what they are like sexually?  How would you feel if you knew someone were musing about you in this way?

Oh hell yes.  Doesn’t everyone?  Of course when I meet a man who I find attractive the first place my mind wanders to is below the belt.  I can’t help it.  I swear I’m not a size queen, but c’mon.  It does matter.  I won’t go into that yet again though.  My sister admits to her mind going below the belt as well, but hers heads toward their wallets.  LOL

If I knew someone was musing about me in that way I would be flattered as long as they aren’t a rapist or anything.  I catch Manwhore doing it all the time.  Last week when the new sous-chef at work was asking me out to dinner, I caught her staring at my cleavage several times.  I wasn’t upset by that.  I was flattered.  If a young butch girl likes what she sees, then why should I have a problem with that?  Muse on my dear friends, muse on.  😉

Happy humping!

Love & Sex Q&A #11

Love & Sex11

Have you ever felt that your involvement with your partner was more hard work than fun?  If so, do you feel this is to be expected or is a sign that something basic is wrong?

This is an appropriate question for me now.  Since I’ve been obsessing over Art so much lately, and it unfortunately reminds me of how I was with Manwhore in the beginning, this is something I really needed to explore.  I also haven’t answered any of these questions in a while and didn’t want you to think I had abandoned my little pink book. 🙂

I do sometimes feel that the relationships that I’m in or have been in are entirely too much work and not worth the effort.  I always wonder whether it’s a sign that the feelings I have for a person are not shared.  I wrote once about being the moth or the flame.  I still believe that that’s a great way of looking at it because if only one person in a relationship is the moth, then it’s probably not going to work out.  Unless both people are both the moth and the flame, meaning both are attracted to one another and both are drawing the other in, it’s just not going to last.

In all honesty though, that’s very difficult to find, or at least for me it has been.  Either men are really attracted to me, but I’m not that attracted to them, or vice versa.  It’s enough to drive a girl crazy sometimes.

My relationship with Art is still new and in the infant stage.  I am definitely the moth.  I know that much for sure.  It’s not that I am not physically attracted to a lot of men, because I am.  However, I am rarely attracted to a man to this degree not only physically, but mentally, emotionally, and creatively.

When I was with LL Cool Bean, I liked him because he was so nice and down to earth, but I just couldn’t reach that level of physical attraction that I need.  I also had a problem dealing with his immaturity, and because of that I had a hard time opening up to him emotionally.  I had the same problem with my ex-husband, the Ox.  He was intelligent and a good person, but it was like we were on different levels mentally.  The same can also be said for Bobblehead Nerd and Skaterboi.

On the other hand I have been with some guys who I found very attractive, but were either assholes, drunks or idiots such as BSL, EB, and Yankee Cowboy to list just a few.  In fact, after I broke with Yankee Cowboy and moved back down South I swore that I would never go out with a “pretty boy” again.  They were just too much trouble and upkeep.  I decided that average looking guys were what I needed.  I was wrong.

I know I tend to be shallow when it comes to what I find physically attractive, but I also try to look past the physical and see a person for who they are.  Unfortunately, that isn’t always enough.  It needs to be a package deal.  Art is the package deal.  I know that’s a bold statement to make so soon, but it’s obvious not only to me but to everyone around me.  Now if I can just figure out if I’m not just his moth, but also his flame.

I did decide to go with him to visit his kids this weekend.  If I can’t figure all this out by the end of our weekend together, then I really do have some serious issues going on.  LOL  Wish me luck!

Happy humping!

Love & Sex Q&A #9

Love & Sex9

When did you find out the most about what pleases you sexually and what was it that you learned?  Have you discovered more through long-standing relationships or through short periods of intimacy with different lovers?

When? Well that would probably be several years after I started having sex.  When I started I was too self-conscious to concentrate too much on what I liked.  I was more worried about whether I was doing it right.  LOL  Once I realized that I was doing a pretty good job and was supposed to enjoy it myself, then I was able to explore what pleased me.  And did I ever.  The number of one-night-stands alone gave me plenty of practice and opportunity to explore what I liked and definitely did not like.

The few long-term relationships that I had gave me the opportunity to explore even further into what I already knew I liked.  Also the comfort level that I had when I was with one person for a long time gave me the chance to open my mind and body to new experiences and techniques that I might have been too embarrassed to try before or didn’t even know existed.  Thank God for sexually experienced men.  They make the best teachers in the bedroom.

Happy humping!

Love & Sex Q&A #8

Love & Sex8

What implicit agreements between you and your partner are so important that you would leave if they were violated?

That’s easy.  Don’t lie to me.  Don’t cheat on me.  Don’t hurt me.

Happy humping!

Love & Sex Q&A #7

Love & Sex7

Is it important to you to have a particular kind of wedding?  If so, under what circumstances would you be willing to forgo that type of ceremony, or even elope?

This one is easy.  As long as a groom and a ring involved and it’s legal then I’m happy.  Not that I’m looking to ever get married again, but if I do find Mr. Rightdick that’s what I need at my wedding.

My first wedding was me, the groom, his psycho mother, and a justice of the peace at the courthouse in downtown Brooklyn.  I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt.  He was wearing jeans and probably some ugly shirt.  There are no pictures for evidence or to back up my story.  I do have  the marriage certificate though.

My second and last wedding was an actual wedding.  I planned most of it and it was almost exactly what I wanted.  I did have to work within a tiny budget, but it turned out nice anyway.  It was sort of an Irish/celtic themed wedding.  Feel free to laugh.  Thankfully I didn’t go the completely cheesy route.  My wedding dress was white with dark green accents.  The bridesmaids dresses were dark green too.  Overall it was a beautiful wedding.  My mom’s friend took care of the flowers and did a great job with the Preacher’s small country church.  She put in lots of greenery and it had a forest-like feel to it.

Yes, the Preacher officiated the ceremony.  Who else could I get to do it for free?  LOL  He walked me down the aisle, gave me away, and then took over to do the rest of the ceremony.  My grandfather started it off, but then turned it over to the Preacher once we got up to the altar.  The only thing that I really remember about the ceremony was that my soon-to-be husband and my daddy were both just about in tears the entire time.  Meanwhile, I stood there like it was no big deal.  I was happy, but I didn’t want to turn into a crybaby and mess up my makeup. 🙂

I’ve already had my big wedding.  I don’t think I’d want to go through all that stress again.  I’ve never been fond of the idea of eloping, but if I found the right man and the time was right, then I may be tempted to do it.

Now if I could just keep a man as long as I keep the rings, I’d be doing good.  Currently I have a collection of four engagement rings.  If I had a ring for every proposal then my collection would be much larger.

Happy humping & remember to get a prenup!