Life goes on, man.

thedudeSo, I’m still alive.  After my last post I had to wait a few more weeks before I could see the cardiologist.  The only problem was that I still didn’t have health insurance and I knew the follow-up visit with the cardiologist and any further testing was just going to put me further in debt.  I had checked into “Obama care” but it was outside of the enrollment period so I was running out of options.  However, if you have a “qualifying life event”, such as a marriage, you can enroll outside of the enrollment period.  So that’s exactly what I did.  I asked Buck if he would go ahead and marry me so that I could get the health insurance.  Very romantic isn’t it?

When I called the Preacher to tell him, I hesitated because this is marriage number three for me and I was afraid he would think I was making anther mistake.  However, when I was telling him about the insurance and how I had to have a “qualifying life event” such as a marriage, he immediately asked, “So when’s the wedding?”  Oh, Daddy.  You’re such a softy.  He knows me so well, and at this point in our lives he doesn’t even bother to question my motives or actions.  I do love that Preacher Daddy of mine.

weddingpicAnyway, because Buck didn’t want me to die and because we were eventually going to get married anyway (I assumed), he agreed and on June 11, 2016, I became a married woman, again.  We planned on going to the courthouse and having a quickie wedding, but his mother wouldn’t allow it.  We ended up having a nice little, and I do mean little, wedding on the back deck of her house.  There were a dozen people there and that included the bride and groom.  My family couldn’t make it due to the short notice, so it was mostly Buck’s family.  My boss lady did come to support me though.  She’s a sweetie.  She even made me a gorgeous bouquet to match my dress.  Speaking of my dress, it wasn’t an actual wedding dress.  It was a white 50’s style dress with a pretty print of cherries and little yellow flowers that I found on for a whopping $25.   I wore red shoes to give it that extra little pop. 🙂

this-is-your-ordinationSo after the wedding there was no honeymoon, just a super short reception and then back home to hang out with our Dude and our Red-Headed Step-Child.  Our Dude is literally our “dude” (you know, the guy you buy your herbs from).  He also is an ordained priest in the Church of the Latter-Day Dude.  (I HIGHLY recommend having your Dude perform your wedding ceremony.)  Our Red-Headed Step-Child is our friend who is a manager of a clothing store by day, and a Drag Queen by night.  She’s Buck’s friend who originally thought I was a crazy stalker luring him to Mississippi to show him my nonexistent shrine to him and then steal his kidney.  Needless to say, they are two of my favorite people.

Now that we’re married it’s time to get back to me…my heart I mean.  I went to the doctor and she told me that I needed to have a heart cath in order for them to find out for certain whether I had any blockages in my heart.  I had that done last Thursday.  They put a tiny tube in a vein in my right wrist and then up to my heart.  I was somewhat medicated so I don’t remember it all, but I assume they shot some dye in, looked around, and saw that there were no blockages.  However, while they were poking around, my heart decided to do it’s crazy arrhythmia thing and they had to give me a shot of something to get it back to normal, temporarily.

So now my wrist is all bruised up and it’s sore, but I’ll live, I hope.  I have a follow-up visit with the doctor on Friday to find out what they are going to do about my wonky heartbeat.  It’s not supposed to be life threatening really, but it’s bad enough to cause me to have lots of chest pain and make me weak and tired all the time.  I’m hoping they are just going to go back in and stick a pacemaker in me and get it over with.


I may work in a Beauty School, but I am no Beauty School Drop Out. Also, I think this should be my Halloween Costume this year. 🙂

Until then I’m keeping my nitroglycerin pills handy and trying to keep my stress levels low.  That is easier said than done of course.  My job is insane and my co-workers are equally insane and the students like to test my patience and sanity.  I will get through this though, just like everything else.  Even though I may hit bottom, many times, I always make my way back up to the surface long enough to catch my breath.

Until next time…

Peace, love, & happiness.


Dinner and a Funeral

Just when you think the year couldn’t start out any worse, someone dies.

I went to the fertility doctor on January 2nd and was told that the only way I’d ever have a child was if I underwent in vitro fertilization and used donor eggs.  The worst part was when the doctor told me that it would cost around $20,000, which I don’t have.  So I had to abruptly give up my dream of having a child.

Of course adoption was briefly discussed as an option, but at this point I’m not sure I even want a child any more.  Teacher would be willing to go that route if I wanted to, but even adoption can be expensive and be a very long process.

That was not a great way to start the year.

I could have gotten over that relatively easily and moved on with my life, but then things got worse.  The following Monday, my mom called me at work & left me a voice mail message.  My grandfather had passed away earlier that morning.  It wasn’t completely unexpected, but then again, it was.  We knew he was not doing well, but I had no idea it was that bad.

You may remember my post about him that I wrote entitled “Grandpa got run over by a gold-digger.”  I loved my Paw Paw very much, but he did a very stupid thing when he married that woman.  She did turn out to be a gold-digger.  Even worse she turned out to be an evil bitch, or as my mother called her, “the devil.”

I drove to Alabama the day of the funeral.  My sister, cousin, nephew, and I rode together and went in together.  We attempted to go through the line and see Paw Paw one last time, but alas the devil woman was standing there beside the casket.  So we ended up walking away before we even got all the way up to her and the casket.  Neither my sister nor I wanted to have a confrontation with her or her daughter, so we thought it best that we move along.

The rest of the family didn’t arrive until just before the funeral started.  Our side of the family was ushered in first.  About twenty minutes later her side was ushered in and seated.  The aisle may as well have been the grand canyon.  We didn’t look over at them, and they didn’t look over at us.  It was possibly one of the most uncomfortable situations I’ve ever been in.

The funeral service itself was strange and oddly impersonal.  No one really talked about my grandfather’s life before his second marriage.  In fact, they really didn’t talk about his life much at all other than what a great businessman he had been.  I thought they would have at least asked my dad to say a few words, but they didn’t.  The only speakers were my grandfather’s business partner and the pastor of the church that my grandfather had attended a few times in recent years.  They didn’t talk about his childhood, his service in the military, his life with his wife of nearly fifty years, or his children.  It was even more depressing than a funeral normally would be.

Once the service was over, everyone headed outside to their cars to get in line for the procession to the cemetery.  My family had decided that they were not going to attend the graveside service, and instead we were going to go have a late lunch.  This was mainly to avoid being close to the devil woman and her family.  Since weddings and funerals are the only times that we are all together in one place these days, lunch seemed like a good idea.

All 20+ of us were sitting at this long table and the waitress comes up to ask if we needed anything.  She then says that we all look really nice and asked what the occasion was.  My sister, sitting beside me in the middle of the long table, looks up at the girl and says, “See that guy sitting at the end of the table?  He just got out of prison today…and it’s his birthday.”  All of us within earshot about choke on our food trying not to laugh. The poor girl gets wide-eyed and says in a surprised tone, “Oh.”   We all giggle.

Then my uncle, the man at the end of the table, looks up and says, “What? Are y’all talking about me?”  My sister looks at him and says, “Yes, we’re just so glad to have you home.”  He replies, “Oh, OK.  Thanks.”  We all bust out laughing.

texaspeanutsNot wanting to keep the poor girl standing there any longer thinking that we are all insane, my aunt speaks up and says, “We actually just came from a funeral.  Our father died.”  The girl looked relieved and then offered her condolences.  We told her not to pay us any mind because we’re all a little crazy.

We tipped her very well.  Maybe she has a blog somewhere and wrote about the crazy day she had serving a bunch of nuts to a bunch of grieving nuts that just got out of jail.

Paw Paw would have been proud of us for just being together and being able to laugh and reminisce.  He was a man with a great sense of humor and a great big kind heart.  He will be greatly missed, whether the devil woman likes it or not.

Oh, and one last thing.  Before he passed away, he asked my sister what she thought Maw Maw would say when she saw him in Heaven.  He said, “I think she’s gonna tell me what an idiot I was for marrying “devil woman.”  My sister agreed with him and they laughed.  Personally I think my grandmother didn’t say anything.  I think she just slapped him and then gave him a big hug and a kiss. 🙂

Happy humping!


Memorial Day Musings

roseSo here I am at work, contemplating life’s wonderfulness and thanking the universe for sending me Teacher, and in walks Car Wash Guy.  In between contemplating and daydreaming, I was also doing some work for Bossman (who I’m not happy with right now, but I’ll explain that later).  So I was able to ignore CWG for a few minutes, but eventually he asked me a question about a camera and I had no choice but to acknowledge his presence.  After he asked me about the camera he quietly asked if I had changed my number.  I told him that I had and it was because I got a new phone from Bossman.

Then CWG said something odd.  He said, “I got my divorce.  She cleaned me out.”  Wait.  What?  I don’t remember him being married.  I’m pretty sure I would have remembered that.  When I questioned him about the married part he said, “Yeah, I told you I was in the middle of a divorce.”  Well, ok, whatever.  However, I swear I don’t remember him telling me any such thing.

He asked if I still had his number.  I lied and said I didn’t.  It’s probably still in my phone, because I’m too lazy to delete numbers.  So when he asked for my number I told him that I was seeing someone.  He quickly said, “Oh, ok, I’m sorry.”  Then he pretty much just left.  Thank God.

As I said, I had been contemplating and daydreaming before CWG came in.  So after he left I Continue reading

Mommy Dearest

mommas-familyMy mommy does love me!  She agreed to come with me to hear Teacher after all.  Screw my sister.  At least my aunt and my mom still care about my happiness.

At the restaurant we had some awesome food, and when we got there Teacher and Jacket (his friend & singing partner) were ready to go on stage.  I think as soon as they started my mom was impressed. It wasn’t until later though that she leaned over and told me, “I’m feeling it.”  I asked, “Feeling what?”  She simply said, “Feeling it.”  LOL I love my mom.  I know that was her way of saying that she approves of Teacher.

Then he solidified her approval. He sang the following song in a perfectly bluesy slightly churchy style. Mom was hooked.  She even leaned over and asked me, “What did you tell him?”  Evidently she thought that I had said something to Teacher when he and I were outback taking a smoke break. 😉

Just so you know, I rarely introduce men to my family, especially to my parents.  Of the few that I have introduced to them, there was only one who they actually liked, and we all know how that turned out.  So I really don’t hold much faith in their opinions on who I date.  In this case however, since it was only my mother, and not my father or sister giving their approval, I do hold a lot of faith in her opinion.  Not that it would stop me from seeing Teacher if she hadn’t of approved, but it sure doesn’t hurt to know that he gets momma’s stamp of approval.

While we were enjoying our dinner, my mom did mention that the reason my sister was acting like a spoiled brat was because she didn’t want me to get hurt again.  Personally I think that’s just some bullshit line she fed them to make herself out to be the caring supportive sister.  If she cares so much why doesn’t she act like it and instead of being a bitch, just meet him first and then tell me what she thinks of him.  She hasn’t even given him a chance.  No, she just wants my mom and aunt to think she’s the level-headed one who can do no wrong.

They aren’t as naïve as she thinks.  They know that even though I’ve made mistakes, I am almost a decade older than she is and I’ve had a lot more time to live my life, albeit in a more adventurous way.  I live and love passionately, and I’m not going to apologize to anyone for that.  I’m certainly not going to regret any decisions that I’ve made that have helped lead me to Teacher.

I worked it out perfectly so that they could leave early and I’d stay and ride with Teacher. As mom and my aunt left, my mom waved goodbye to Teacher.  OMG.  She approves! Hallelujah, praise Jeebus, and thank the Lawd Almighty!  Now let’s go to church!  Preach it Al!

Happy humping & praise the Lawd y’all!


Sibling Rivalries: The Bitch is Back

panicI think I’m having a panic attack.  My chest hurts, I’m sweating, it feels like someone is trying to choke me, my head is spinning, and I want to cry.  I guess I should thank my wonderful family for this.  Ever since they arrived this evening it’s been nonstop chaos and noise and tension and stress.  I tried to keep myself busy.  I did my laundry, the dishes, and finally just decided to hide up in my room.  Who knows how long the peace and quiet will last though.  We’ve got a shortage of beds again and I’ll be damned if I end up having to sleep with my sister and nephew again.

My plan of taking them out to dinner tomorrow night was shot to shit as soon as I mentioned it to my aunt.  My sister heard me and said in a snotty tone, “You’d better be saving for a car instead.”  I told her to shut up, and then she said something about me using her truck (the one I bought her) to get to work.  Considering she’s not working now and I’m the one with a full-time paying job, I think it’s in both our best interest for me to actually go to work.

steweyAfter that little comment though, I decided that instead of getting into a fight with her in front of my mom, aunt, little brother and nephew, I’d just not say anything else.  There’s nothing I can say anyway that would make her stop being such a selfish bitch.

Since I still haven’t found another car, I think I’m just going to call the mechanic Monday and tell him to put a new motor in mine.  At least that way I can get my car back and then get the hell out of this house…permanently.  It’s sad that she’s pushed me to the point where once I get out of here, I probably won’t speak to her for a very long time.  I have no reason to anymore.  All she does is judge, bitch, criticize, and complain about how I choose to live my life.  She’s worse than my parents ever were.

Happy humping!