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Dear Mom, please stop praying for me.

rezar-pray-spanish-englishWhile I was at work this morning my mom called.  Normally she doesn’t call much at all, and especially during the middle of the day.  The last time she called me at work it was to tell me that my grandfather had died.

I answered and she said hello and then asked if my uncle had called me to get my address.  He hadn’t, but my sister did text me last night asking for it.  She didn’t know why my uncle wanted my address, so I’m hoping he’s sending me a very large belated birthday gift, or something like that.

She asked how I had been and I told her I had been sick, but I was back at work today.  Then she wanted to know what was wrong and I told her it was just a stomach bug.  In a very accusing tone that always makes me nervous, “Are you sure that’s all it was?”  “Yes, ma, that’s all it was,” I said like a fourteen year old who had just come home past curfew.

vibratorShe then proceeds to tell me, “You know we’ve been praying for you, right?  Or we were, when we thought you might be getting married.”  Wow, mom.  Thanks for that.  My response?  “Well, you need to stop.”

So when my mom thought that Teacher and I might be getting married, she started praying for me to get pregnant.  She knows we broke up, or rather, he dumped me over four months ago.  So why would she still be praying for me to get pregnant?  Does she think that’s the only way I can get a man to stay with me?  By trapping him?  I’m afraid to even ask her.

Either way it freaked me out, because that’s just what my mom does.  My eye immediately started twitching after I hung up the phone.  I was supposed to call her back tonight, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I don’t need a man, and I don’t need a baby, especially a cute dumb baby with Mr. 7am.  What I need is a raise, a car, and a really good sex toy (see photo and link on right).

When I told my friend Sheldon about this, he agreed that Mr. 7am would probably love it if I got pregnant.  I, on the other hand, would have a panic attack.  So here’s hoping that mom has stopped praying for me, finally.

Happy humping!

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Got to give it up

HK BMI know it’s been a long time, but I’m still around.  Since my last post on August 7th I’ve moved into a beautiful little house with Teacher, started a new job, made lots of new friends, and have decided I want to have a baby.  Yep.  You heard me right.  I, Preacher’s Daughter, want a little bundle of piss & shit.  To be more specific, I’m hoping for a little girl I can cover in Hello Kitty from head to tiny little toes.  If it’s a boy though, I promised Teacher that I wouldn’t make him wear Hello Kitty stuff.  Maybe Dear Daniel, or Keroppi, or Badtz Maru, but not Hello Kitty.  I swear.

Now, I know I’ve told you many times that I couldn’t have one, and I thought that was the truth.  Fortunately, I was wrong, probably.  I won’t know for sure until January 2nd, but from what my doctor told me last week, it’s highly possible that I will be able to pop one out with the help some hormone-boosting medicine.  Honestly, I’m still in a state of shock over it all.

I never planned on having one.  In fact, I had resigned myself to being content just being an aunt and a big sister.  This relationship thing that I have with Teacher has changed everything though.  I find myself wanting to settle down, for real this time, and have a long happy life, a real job again, and a family.

Speaking of my relationship with Teacher…it couldn’t be better.  This guy is the real deal.  Hell, he has even bought me jewelry and a Soda Stream.  What more could I ask for? Actually, he’s done a lot more than that.  He’s been there for me in every way possible.  He’s caring, supportive, kind, creative, talented, and loving.  It’s kind of weird being with someone so great.  I’ve been with so many assholes, dumbasses, and crazies, that it’s hard to grasp the concept of being in a healthy wonderful relationship.  I’m holding on for dear life though. 🙂

One thing that has happened over the past few weeks is that I’ve pretty much stopped drinking alcohol completely.  It’s not that I was planning to or wanting to, I just lost the taste for it.  Weird, I know.  No more drinking tequila until I dance on the tables?  What the hell?  I guess it was just time to give it up.  Next to go will be the cigarettes.  Ouch.  That one’s gonna really hurt.

So much has happened in the past four months that I couldn’t possible put it all in one post, so I guess I’ll just have to catch you up as we go along.  If I am a bad girl again and don’t post until after my appointment on January 2nd, please say a little prayer for me and my future little redhead Mozart.  🙂

Oh, and Merry Christmas!

Happy humping! (Let’s make a baby y’all!)

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