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Adventures in Wholesale

I’ve started a new section called “Quotes from Fallen Angel” because my sister sent me the following story tonight and I told her she deserved her own section on my blog.  So here it is!  Enjoy!

At work the other night Friend Cashier said that Bitch Cashier said she’s called.  I asked “Called what?!”  (Bitch Cashier really is a bitch by the way.)

“To preach!” replied Friend Cashier.

I snorted and said, “Well, I was called to be a pole dancer, but it didn’t work out.”

Five minutes later the hysterical laughter ended and we went back to work.

That is courtesy of Fallen Angel, my funny as hell sister.

To see more of her quotes, please click on the link on the menu at the top of the page.  Also, I have added a donate button on the right side of the blog.  If you would like to help support the plight of the Preacher’s Daughters please do so.  There is no minimum amount required.

Poor Little Bubba needs some financial security and 25% of all donations will go towards his education.  We want him to be one of the smart successful ones in the family one day.  Another 25% will go to our little brother The Tornado‘s education.  The other half will go towards buying sex toys for me and gas for Fallen Angel’s monster truck.  LOL  Just kidding.  I don’t use sex toys. 😉

A Stalker of My Own

Remember what I said in my last post about wanting to notice the little things more?  Well, this proves I have a long way to go, but I’m getting there.

Mississippi-Natchez-Trace-Parkway-fall-foliageIt was the fall of 2012.  I was living in Bumfuck, Mississippi.  Boredom had set in once again and I took to the internet for entertainment.  It was a little website called Plenty of Fish.  I started talking to Woody.  At first he reminded me of Art, but as we talked I realized that he was more of a country version of Art.  He was artsy and cool, but he is also a very tall handsome former marine who likes to hunt & fish.

We talked for a while, but it never worked out so that we could meet.  He lived an hour and a half from Bumfuck, so it was difficult to work it out.  Then, of course, I met Teacher and then my car died.  So that was pretty much the end of that.

Fast forward a year and a half or so to about a month ago.

I’m newly single, back on the dating websites, and thinking back.  Thinking back to a guy I used to talk to who seemed very cool, Woody.  I checked my phone to see if I still had his number.  I didn’t have it anymore.  I checked POF to see if his profile was still up.  It wasn’t.  So my search ended there.

Anyway, I decided to go back on Plenty of Fish a couple of weeks ago and while perusing the profiles I saw one that had viewed my profile and even though it didn’t have a picture, I decided to read it.  It was hilarious in a very sarcastic funny kind of way, so I added the profile as a favorite thinking that maybe I’d send it to my sister later.

Just over a week ago I went to the local watering hole to hear Teacher sing and play, and to just have some drinks with friends.  Most of the night I sat out on the patio with my friend DC.  She’s a very talented artist who has a studio here in town.  While she and I were on the patio talking, a man walked up and asked me if he could borrow my lighter.  I let him use mine, then he handed it back.  Before he walked off he sort of paused and smiled.  I didn’t think much of it other than “damn, he’s cute.”  But DC and I were talking so I just continued with our conversation after he left.

Tonight I was looking at POF again and I got a message.

“Hey its me Woody. What da heck happened with you and Teacher?  It was hard not to talk to you at that Thursday gig. I borrowed your lighter though.  It’s me Woody. We talked on here a while back. Then I ran into you at an outdoor gig in town. I was handing out [local arts magazine].”

Um, what?  I remembered the cute guy asking to borrow my lighter.  I remembered the guy at the gig in town last summer.  I remembered the name Woody.  I didn’t understand though.  If we had talked in the past, why didn’t he just introduce himself?  So I asked him.

He said that he thought I was with Teacher and he was trying to be respectful.

I immediately looked him up on Facebook.  LOL  I started looking through his profile and started noticing things.  Such as, he was at several other events that I had also attended.  He’s in a lot of the same Facebook groups that I’m in.  He is friends with Teacher and a few other people that I know.  Evidently from what he told me and from what I found out on Facebook, he’s been lurking around for about a year now, never introducing himself to me because of Teacher.  Once he saw me on POF again, he figured it was safe to message me again.  I’m so glad he did.

It one thing to have a stalker who is threatening or weird, but to have one who is courteous and polite and respectful is not such a bad thing.  It’s kind of flattering.

So we talked some more tonight and he said he’s going out of town for the weekend, but he wants to hang out as soon as he gets back.  I confess I’m a little giddy.  The whole thing is a little surreal, but I have a feeling it’s going to be a lot of fun. 🙂

Happy humping!

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Memorial Day Musings

roseSo here I am at work, contemplating life’s wonderfulness and thanking the universe for sending me Teacher, and in walks Car Wash Guy.  In between contemplating and daydreaming, I was also doing some work for Bossman (who I’m not happy with right now, but I’ll explain that later).  So I was able to ignore CWG for a few minutes, but eventually he asked me a question about a camera and I had no choice but to acknowledge his presence.  After he asked me about the camera he quietly asked if I had changed my number.  I told him that I had and it was because I got a new phone from Bossman.

Then CWG said something odd.  He said, “I got my divorce.  She cleaned me out.”  Wait.  What?  I don’t remember him being married.  I’m pretty sure I would have remembered that.  When I questioned him about the married part he said, “Yeah, I told you I was in the middle of a divorce.”  Well, ok, whatever.  However, I swear I don’t remember him telling me any such thing.

He asked if I still had his number.  I lied and said I didn’t.  It’s probably still in my phone, because I’m too lazy to delete numbers.  So when he asked for my number I told him that I was seeing someone.  He quickly said, “Oh, ok, I’m sorry.”  Then he pretty much just left.  Thank God.

As I said, I had been contemplating and daydreaming before CWG came in.  So after he left I Continue reading