Archives

Taking out the trash

sad15

I have a problem.  A trash problem.  It started about four months ago, when I moved in.  For the first time in over a year I found that it was my responsibility to take out the trash.  Well, that just sucked.

So I devised a plan.  I would take out the trash once a week when I was doing laundry.  I would take it out on my second trip to the laundry room when it was time to put the clothes in the dryer.  The trash bins are behind the laundry room, which is across the yard, next to the pool.

That worked for a while, until I got behind on my laundry.  I only got behind on my laundry because I kept forgetting to go to the bank and get quarters.  Damn quarters.

So as time went on and my trash bag sat in the floor next to the stove, I started having visitors.  Mostly male visitors.  Ok, fine.  They were all male visitors.  Very nice male visitors too.  Because each and every one of them offered to take my trash out for me.  Of course I had to decline, because, you know, pride and all.

I always told them that I was going to take it out in the morning, or later that day.  I never did.  Well, I did occasionally.  This went on for months.

Last night Bacchus came over.  We were sitting at the table talking and somehow the topic of my garbage came up.  Of course he offered to take it out.  I declined.  Then I told him that everyone tries to take out my garbage for me.  He admitted that it did bother him that I always had a bag of garbage sitting there.  I laughed.

He proceeded to grab the bags, yes there were two last night, and asked where the dumpster was.  I told him and he took it out.  When he got back I told him that he had completely fucked up my story.  Now it had an ending.  Or does it?

images

Happy humping my fellow Oscars!

me_128_bigger

Old Habits Die Hard

*This is probably the tenth version of this post.  I keep starting and then stuff keeps happening. LOL

Well, I did it.  I finished reading my first book in fifteen years.  And that book is Fifty Shades of Grey.  Sad isn’t it?  The ending just pissed me off.  Then my sister told me that I had to read the second book for it all to make sense.  So I started reading Fifty Shades Darker and was somewhat appeased, if only temporarily.

I got a few chapters in, and just got bored with it all over again.  I do declare though, that I will finish these damned books if it’s the last thing I do.

Moving on.

Damn it all to hell!  I’m so frustrated with myself and with men.*  It’s my fault.  Maybe the monogamy thing isn’t for me after all.  I don’t say that because I’ve recently cheated on anyone.  In fact, I made it a point to tell the person I’ve been seeing that monogamy is very difficult for me and that I probably wouldn’t be able to do it given my history with men and relationships.  Actually why I told him that was because I still had high hopes that I would still get to see “the one I really want” occasionally.  That hasn’t happened though, so I’ve been forced to move on.

It is even more difficult for me to stay monogamous when I’m not in love with the person who I’m seeing.  When I’m with someone I am in love with then I rarely feel the need to check out how much greener the grass is on the other side of that imaginary fence.  Since there is no fence, and all the grass around here seems to be dead, I’m just going to graze wherever the hell I want.

*I noticed earlier in the week that Endymion had removed me from his friends on Facebook.  I sent him a message asking it he was upset with me.  His reply?  “I’m not anything with you. You might as well live in China.”  That made me a little sad to think that I had probably hurt his feelings by not coming to visit him since I moved.  He does know of at least one time that I’ve been back to New Orleans since then, but I didn’t tell him it was to visit my “friend.”  It’s probably a good thing that he unfriended me though.  I seriously doubt I’ll ever move back to N.O. and while it was fun, that chapter is over.

To hell with monogamy

Since I’ve been thinking about monogamy a lot lately, it seems only fitting that I finally gave in and agreed to meet the Golfer for lunch after four years of his messaging me.  When I first met him back in 2008 I was freshly divorced, but he was married so we didn’t do a lot other than making out.  I guess the guilt of cheating on my ex-husband made me more inclined to not help someone else become a cheater.  So I quickly put an end to our little affair.

He is a persistent man though, and I suppose he just finally caught me in the right mood and I gave in.  I met him for lunch last Monday.  I still hadn’t planned on doing anything with him, but things happen.  Hormones kick in.  Lust takes over.  You know the rest.  What I remember most was how he kept saying he was being Continue reading

Bad Harry! Bad, bad Harry!

Before my heart stops racing and before I go on a binge breaking things…

This morning I was to meet Harry for breakfast at the local Huddle House.  We met.  Now I’m at work and ready to spit nails into someone’s tires.

When I got there he was already sitting in the booth.  I sat down, we ordered, and he just stared at me and smiled.  I told him about our tenants moving out, and about the possible buyer on the house.  When I mentioned that I just hate not knowing how long I’ll be here and what is going on, he had kind of a weird guilty look on his face.  I knew something was up.

Then he said, “There’s something that I wanted to talk to you about.  I should have told you last week, but I couldn’t.”  Great.  What now?  Then he went on to tell me that his friends had talked him into giving it another shot with his wife, and he had moved, as in really moved, back in with his wife, but he really likes me and wants to keep seeing me.  WHAT THE HELL?

This is EXACTLY what I told him I didn’t want to happen.  I told him in the beginning that I didn’t want to start seeing him and then have him turn around and decide he was going back with his wife or ex-girlfriend.

I feel like an idiot.  I saw the red flags, and I chose to ignore them.

Any way, I told him that I refused to be the “other woman.”  If he wanted to try to work things out with his wife, then he should do so and give it his all…with no girlfriends on the side.  I even told him that I hoped things worked out for them.

All he could say was that he was sorry.

Sorry my ass.  I didn’t even eat my breakfast.  My appetite was gone.  I brought it back for my sister to eat instead.  From my pain, comes her gain.

I’m trying to remain calm about all this, because I didn’t even really have anything vested into the relationship yet, but it still pisses me off.  Deep breaths and happy thoughts….

On the bright side, now I have something to write about.  And…I no longer have evil thoughts about how I should stick around here.  I still owe you an explanation on why I probably shouldn’t move back to New Orleans, but I’ll post that in a separate post, soon.  (Just so you know, I would really, really like to move back to NOLA.)

Happy humping.

No more freaking out

Just following up with you on my “I’m Freaking Out” post from a week ago.  My boss still hasn’t told me if he figured out what happened to the missing money from that Saturday.  It wasn’t taken out of my paycheck so I guess I’m in the clear.  I really wish he’d tell me if they figured it out though.  He’s been in the store here for a total of maybe thirty minutes in a week.  Everything seems to be going to hell, and unfortunately he’s taking us all with him.  All of the employees here are disgruntled now because of the moving and mayhem that’s been going on for the last couple of weeks.  I will be really surprised if he has anyone left working for him after the end of the year.

When I went in to work this past Saturday I made sure to count the money before I put it in the drawer.  I wrote my total down and at the end of the day I did another count of what I had in the drawer, printed out a report that showed my sales for the day, and then I compared it to what I should have had in the drawer.  I was one penny off.  I put everything in the bag, including my printout and handwritten totals.

I didn’t work yesterday, so I didn’t expect to hear from my boss until today, if at all.  I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

Also, I took Single Blonde‘s advice and have kept Harry away from my workplace.  Not that it matters much now because my boss hasn’t really been here in over a week, but it’s better to be careful at this point.

Happy humping!

Midnight Confessions and Self-Therapy

Happy Halloween! (Not my new car by the way.)

First of all, for those of you who read my earlier post, I now have a car.  So I can at least check one thing off my list.  Yay!  It came as a complete surprise Sunday morning.  My sister told me that her friend Horse Whisperer had a car that she was willing to sell me.  Praise Jesus, because I was about to go mad not having a mode of transportation.  I love my sister, but living with her, working in the same building with her, and having to ride to and from work and everywhere else with her was putting a huge strain on our relationship.  Now we’re both free to come and go as we please.

Now for the important stuff.  I have not been completely honest with you lately, and for that I do apologize.  I’ve avoided writing very much because without telling you the truth, there wasn’t much to tell.  Sometimes it’s just harder for me to admit who I really am and what I’ve really done.  I feel the need to keep up appearances, even to strangers who only know me as an anonymous blogger somewhere in the woods of Mississippi.  Admitting to certain aspects of my life, well, it just makes me feel like a bad person.  All that extreme religious crap that was engrained into me as a kid left a deep mark.  It’s one of those scars that will never completely heal.  The truth really does set me free, even if that means being brutally honest with myself.  I’m ready to be free.

I have a problem.  I ask for advice.  I listen to it and appreciate it.  Then I go in the completely opposite direction.  Is it that I’m just strong-willed and independent, or am I just stupid and can’t follow good advice?  Maybe all the above.  Anyway, when I wrote my post “Uncommon Whore” a couple of weeks ago, I told you about Harry.  Harry had issues, lots of red flags, and had stalker written all over him.  So what did I do with Harry?  I kept seeing him.  One of my other issues, is that I find it very difficult to say no to people.  Technically, I think that’s just an off-shoot of my subconscious need to seem to be perfect and keep up appearances, but whatever…Daddy issues, blah, blah, need therapy, blah.

Even though I really did halfheartedly try to run Harry off, I just didn’t try hard enough.  He kept texting, calling, asking me to dinner, and I caved.  I’m always afraid that if I make a snap judgement about someone then I might miss out on someone who may actually be the one.  So I try not to be too quick to judge people, and instead to give Continue reading