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It’s all good

As it turns out, my “happily ever after” consists of me living alone and just having a side dick. That’s all I need. Since I kicked my husband out back in September of last year, I’ve been thoroughly enjoying having the apartment to myself. I don’t have to compromise on closet space or how much time I spend in the bathroom in the mornings getting ready for work. The apartment stays clean, and if the bills don’t get paid I have no one to blame but myself. Thankfully, the bills are always paid on time now that I don’t have a man-child to support.¬†So I’m glad that I didn’t get the “happily ever after” that I thought I wanted.

I turned 43 at the beginning of this month. I took a 3-day trip with Redbeard to Gatlinburg, TN and even though it rained off and on the whole time, it was relaxing enough and it got me out of the apartment for a few days. I also learned that more than 12 hours with any one man is just too much for me.

Back in March, I told you about Redbeard and how I didn’t think it was going to work out with him, for a few reasons. Well, after Doc Oc moved away I was left with only Redbeard. Brendan Fraser had already faded away. Brendan texted me a few times, but I never made an effort to see him again. So once things settled down I started hanging out with Redbeard again on a weekly basis. Since I was concerned about him possibly being a mooch and just coming over for the beer and weed, I decided that if I didn’t offer any to him and he still kept coming around then I could make it work.

The sex with Redbeard is excellent. When it comes to that, I really can’t think of anything to complain about. I always get what I need, as does he, and then he goes home. I don’t have to wait around thinking, “Oh, God. Is he ever going to leave?” We sometimes fall asleep after, but then he always wakes up a couple of hours later and then leaves. That leaves me to watch the latest episode of Game of Thrones that was on earlier that evening. Come to think of it, I believe that as long as a man doesn’t throw off my TV-watching schedule, then we’re good and I can live with that. ūüôā

One of the ladies at work asked me if I was going to drive 5 hours to go see Doc Oc. I told her no, and she asked, “Well, isn’t he worth it?” Again, I told her no. He’s cute and all, but the sex just wasn’t on the same level as it is with Redbeard. I told her that even though Redbeard isn’t rich or great looking, at least the sex is great and we can have a conversation before. (I’ll admit that he’s actually quite good-looking for a ginger-man. I still don’t prefer ginger men though.) It’s not like I’m trying to marry any of them. I just want to get laid and then send them home.

I also want to tell you about my job and the joys of working at a beauty school, but that will have to wait for another post. There’s just too much to tell.

Until next time…

Peace, love, & happiness.

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Babe, I’m gonna leave you

I promised a follow-up to my last post.  Better late than never, right?

For the past two months I have seen Doc Oc occasionally, usually once a week.  About one month ago he came over one evening and as we were sitting on the couch he said he needed to tell me something. I immediately got nervous, thinking that maybe he had a girlfriend or wife.  No such luck.  He told me that he was moving back to his hometown, which is over four hours away.

My heart sank. ¬†I thought I had finally found a guy in this crappy state that I not only could tolerate, but actually liked. ¬†And now he’s leaving me.

Of course this is the guy who I thought could possibly be a serial killer. ¬†He isn’t, of course. ¬†However, he’s a very quiet person, much like myself, but even more so. ¬†I told my sister that now I know what it’s like to date me, and it’s awful. ¬†And I don’t mean that negatively against him. ¬†I just know that quiet people are difficult nuts to crack. ¬†We hold in so much. ¬†All of our emotions and feelings, hopes and dreams, thoughts and beliefs. ¬†Introverts can be extremely complex people. ¬†Personally, think I do better in relationships with extroverts, even though those are the one’s that usually don’t work out.

Anyway…Oh! ¬†I haven’t even described Doc Oc to you yet. ¬†He’s sexy, in a nerdy hipster subdued kind of way. ¬†Think Robert Downey, Jr. meets young James Spader. ¬†His ass though. ¬†Thank you Jesus for this boy’s ass. ¬†It’s so grab-able. ¬†He’s also intelligent and funny. ¬†It’s just that he doesn’t open up and talk much, which I do wish he had done.

Oh, well.  The good ones always go away.  Or I go away.  Someone always goes away.

My prayer for the day:

“Jesus, just send me Bruno Mars…or Sting…I’d accept Sting also.”

Because I could fuck the hell out of some Bruno, or Sting, right now.

Until next time…”It’s only half past the point of no return.”

Peace, love, & happiness.

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The New Tales of a Single Ginger Preacher’s Daughter

I’ve been single again now for almost six months. Of course I’ve had the occasional “relationship” since then, but nothing serious, and certainly nothing even close to “being in love.” I’m completely satisfied with that. I’m in no hurry to get back into a serious relationship. When I was dating the Scotsman, I did start getting a little too attached though. So when he dumped me just a couple of days into January, I was hurt, and a little pissed off. Here I was taking the leap again, and trusted this guy, and he has to go and turn out to be an asshole. I’m over it now, but at the time it really bothered me.

Since kicking Buck, husband #3, out of the apartment for good, I’ve been busy working and haven’t been able to date much. When I do have time though, I’d like to spend that time with someone who is laid back, smart, funny, and sexy. So far I’ve only had very little luck.

Redbeard

After Scotsman, I met Redbeard on my favorite dating site, Plenty of Fish. Redbeard is former military, injured in Afghanistan, and now unemployed. Of all of those things, the only thing that really turned me off was that he’s a ginger. I know, I know, it sounds strange because I’m a ginger myself, but I just can’t help that I’ve never really been attracted to redheaded men.

I gave him an honest try though. I gave him a chance even though he’s going through a bitter divorce and has a 16-year-old daughter, and didn’t seem to have much time to come over and hang out. (“Hang out” is basically my code for have sex.) I just wanted a FWB type situation, and I stated that clearly on my profile. So when Redbeard started coming over for a couple of hours and then leaving, without having sex with me, I started getting pissed off about the situation. I got the feeling that he was only coming over to drink my beer and smoke my weed. That, my dear sir, is not acceptable. If I’m going to get a guy tipsy and high, then dammit, he’d better make it worth my while. LOL

So last Friday, after not seeing him at all for almost two weeks, I sent him a message on Facebook explaining how I felt, and letting him know that I wanted to call it quits and just be friends (no benefits). He sent me a message back two days later saying that he was sorry and had been preoccupied with family stuff, but he still wanted to try to hang out sometime. I told him that once things calm down we might get to. I don’t know how realistic that is though because I’m really not that into him.

Brendan Fraser

Saturday night, Brendan Fraser (he looks like a young Brendan Fraser…duh. lol) came over around 9:30 pm. We talked for a while and then made out on the couch. I had not yet had sexual intercourse with Brendan, but I definitely wanted to. The previous weekend he had come over and stayed for about three hours. We drank and smoked and listed to music and he ordered a pBone when we discovered that we both played trombone and I asked if he had ever seen one. (http://pbone.co.uk/)¬†Right when Brendan was about to leave that first night, we were standing in the kitchen saying goodbye when he went to hug me and ended up kissing me. My switch turned on and I went for it. We ended up making out on the couch. I didn’t even bother asking if he wanted to go to the bedroom. Something in me took over and the next thing I know I¬†was swallowing his load. So, once that was done he really did have to leave so we kissed goodnight and he left.

When he came back over Friday night, I was ready for a lot more. I wanted the D! LOL And I got what I wanted. I forgot to mention that he is ten years younger than me. He had a lot of stamina, and he didn’t waste any of it. I just hope my upstairs neighbor couldn’t hear me. The only thing that I didn’t like was that he didn’t stay longer. I would have loved to have gotten a few more rounds in with him. Twice was not nearly enough for me.

Doc Oc

This past Saturday night, I met Doc Oc, the optometrist. He’s older than me, but he looks younger, and he has kind of¬†a metro sexual hipster vibe going on. I was digging it. However, when he first got here he was so soft-spoken and reserved that I kept thinking that he might get up and leave at any moment. Once he had a beer, relaxed, and saw my lunch box collection, he opened up a little. I did appreciate that even though he was on the quieter side, that didn’t mean he was shy. I like when men make the first move. I’ll do it if I have to, but I don’t always want to have to be the one to do it.

He started slowly and respectfully by holding my hand, which was sweet. Fifteen minutes later his hand was in my pants and then mine was unzipping his. We stopped there after a while though. He said he wanted to continue when he wasn’t so tired. I was sexually frustrated, but I had to accept his offer of continuing later. If he could deal with some blue balls, then so could I. But O.M.G. I was dying.

I text my sister after he left telling her that I was still alive and that he wasn’t a serial killer. I also told her that I was in trouble with this one because he made my heart skip a beat…and that shit hurts! I have a heart condition! LOL I have a very strong feeling that he might just be the muse I’ve been looking for.

So…it’s only Monday. I have to wait until Saturday to see Doc Oc again. I hope I make it that long. Between the chest pains and the horniness, I might die. We will see. I will (or my sister if I die) update you on what happens. ūüėČ

Until next time…

Peace, love, & happiness.

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When you wish upon a star

Sometimes dreams do come true, no matter how small and insignificant they may seem.

sexykiltSix years ago I wrote a post called “Amen Snoop. Amen.”¬†In the post I described a dream that I had about a tall Scottish god of a man in a kilt with legs like tree trunks. Well, guess what? I finally met him last week. He’s 6’3″ with dark wavy hair and legs, well, like tree trunks. Also, he’s Scottish, accent and all. Although he wasn’t wearing a kilt when I met him, he still managed to make me weak in the knees. Oh, and I found the Loch Ness Monster. I’d say I found it under the kilt, but like I said, unfortunately, there was no kilt. So at least I finally got to find out who the Scottish hunk in my dream was.

I know you’re probably wondering what happened with my soon to be ex-husband, Buck. ¬†Well, he’s still being a disgusting whore. Except now I think he’s sunk lower and has become a full-blown meth head who has to prostitute himself out to support his bad habits. I think this because he keeps posting pictures and videos and tweeting about it. He tries to say that all the stuff that he posts is “just talk”, but I’m not stupid enough to believe that.

So I’m working on a strategy for the divorce and moving on with my life. This Preacher’s Daughter has had enough of losers, users, and abusers. I’m ready to enjoy my freedom and maybe even spend some time with a decent man for a change.

Until next time…

Peace, love, & happiness.

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Life goes on, man.

thedudeSo, I’m still alive. ¬†After my last post I had to wait a few more weeks before I could see the cardiologist. ¬†The only problem was that I still didn’t have health insurance and I knew the follow-up visit with the cardiologist and any further testing was just going to put me further in debt. ¬†I had checked into “Obama care” but it was outside of the enrollment period so I was running out of options. ¬†However, if you have a “qualifying life event”, such as a marriage, you can enroll outside of the enrollment period. ¬†So that’s exactly what I did. ¬†I asked Buck if he would go ahead and marry me so that I could get the health insurance. ¬†Very romantic isn’t it?

When I called the Preacher to tell him, I hesitated because this is marriage number three for me and I was afraid he would think I was making anther mistake. ¬†However, when I was telling him about the insurance and how I had to have a “qualifying life event” such as a marriage, he immediately asked, “So when’s the wedding?” ¬†Oh, Daddy. ¬†You’re such a softy. ¬†He knows me so well, and at this point in our lives he doesn’t even bother to question my motives or actions. ¬†I do love that Preacher Daddy of mine.

weddingpicAnyway, because Buck didn’t want me to die and because we were eventually going to get married anyway (I assumed), he agreed and on June 11, 2016, I became a married woman,¬†again. ¬†We planned on going to the courthouse and having a quickie wedding, but his mother wouldn’t allow it. ¬†We ended up having a nice little, and I do mean little, wedding on the back deck of her house. ¬†There were a dozen people there and that included the bride and groom. ¬†My family couldn’t make it due to the short notice, so it was mostly Buck’s family. ¬†My boss lady did come to support me though. ¬†She’s a sweetie. ¬†She even made me a gorgeous bouquet to match my dress. ¬†Speaking of my dress, it wasn’t an actual wedding dress. ¬†It was a white 50’s style dress with a pretty¬†print of cherries and little yellow flowers that I found on Amazon.com for a whopping $25. ¬† I wore red shoes to give it that extra little pop. ūüôā

this-is-your-ordinationSo after the wedding there was no honeymoon, just a super short reception and then back home to hang out with our Dude and our Red-Headed Step-Child. ¬†Our Dude is literally our “dude” (you know, the guy you buy your herbs from). ¬†He also is an ordained priest¬†in the Church of the Latter-Day Dude. ¬†(I HIGHLY recommend having your Dude perform your wedding ceremony.) ¬†Our¬†Red-Headed Step-Child is our friend who is a manager of a clothing store by day, and a Drag Queen by night. ¬†She’s Buck’s friend who originally thought I was a crazy stalker luring him to Mississippi to show him my nonexistent shrine to him and then steal his kidney. ¬†Needless to say, they are two of my favorite people.

Now that we’re married it’s time to get back to me…my heart I mean. ¬†I went to the doctor and she told me that I needed to have a heart cath in order for them to find out for certain whether I had any blockages in my heart. ¬†I had that done last Thursday. ¬†They put a tiny tube in a vein in my right wrist and then up to my heart. ¬†I was somewhat medicated so I don’t remember it all, but I assume they shot some dye in, looked around, and saw that there were no blockages. ¬†However, while they were poking around, my heart decided to do it’s crazy arrhythmia thing and they had to give me a shot of something to get it back to normal, temporarily.

So now my wrist is all bruised up and it’s sore, but I’ll live, I hope. ¬†I have a follow-up visit with the doctor on Friday to find out what they are going to do about my wonky heartbeat. ¬†It’s not supposed to be life threatening really, but it’s bad enough to cause me to have lots of chest pain and make me weak and tired all the time. ¬†I’m hoping they are just going to go back in and stick a pacemaker in me and get it over with.

beautyschooldropout

I may work in a Beauty School, but I am no Beauty School Drop Out. Also, I think this should be my Halloween Costume this year. ūüôā

Until then I’m keeping my nitroglycerin pills handy and trying to keep my stress levels low. ¬†That is easier said than done of course. ¬†My job is insane and my co-workers are equally insane and the students like to test my patience and sanity. ¬†I will get through this though, just like everything else. ¬†Even though I may hit bottom, many times, I always make my way back up to the surface long enough to catch my breath.

Until next time…

Peace, love, & happiness.

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