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Adventures in Wholesale

I’ve started a new section called “Quotes from Fallen Angel” because my sister sent me the following story tonight and I told her she deserved her own section on my blog.  So here it is!  Enjoy!

At work the other night Friend Cashier said that Bitch Cashier said she’s called.  I asked “Called what?!”  (Bitch Cashier really is a bitch by the way.)

“To preach!” replied Friend Cashier.

I snorted and said, “Well, I was called to be a pole dancer, but it didn’t work out.”

Five minutes later the hysterical laughter ended and we went back to work.

That is courtesy of Fallen Angel, my funny as hell sister.

To see more of her quotes, please click on the link on the menu at the top of the page.  Also, I have added a donate button on the right side of the blog.  If you would like to help support the plight of the Preacher’s Daughters please do so.  There is no minimum amount required.

Poor Little Bubba needs some financial security and 25% of all donations will go towards his education.  We want him to be one of the smart successful ones in the family one day.  Another 25% will go to our little brother The Tornado‘s education.  The other half will go towards buying sex toys for me and gas for Fallen Angel’s monster truck.  LOL  Just kidding.  I don’t use sex toys. 😉

Jumping off the deep end

I’m still here!  Although I have been a very bad girl lately and not written here in over a month.  However, all that is about to change in a very big way.  First let me catch you up on what’s been going on here in the deep South.

After my last post I took a one week vacation from work and spent it with Teacher.  He had a couple of gigs in Florida and I had a wonderful time with him.  Also during that week my parents came and helped my sister move out of the house.  She’s now two states away and we are all very thankful for that.  I do lover her, and I miss Little Bubba something awful, but it was past time for us to go our separate ways.

After I got back from my vacation I found that the Preacher had taken all of the appliances.  Yes.  ALL of them, including the refrigerator.  Warm beer sucks.  As far as food goes, canned foods and pop tarts can only be tolerated for so long.  That was not fun, especially since I soon discovered that my sister had taken both of the can openers with her.  That Bitch.

So a week after living off of Pop Tarts and Spaghetti Os (I actually had to use a knife and hammer to open the can), Teacher and his friend, Artist, decided that it was time for me to just go ahead and move.  Oh, and it didn’t help things that my sister went off without paying the water bill, which I had given her the money for, and it was about to be turned off along with the electricity.  So after very little thought I decided that they were right and he came the following Saturday to come and pick me up.

During all of this I was stressing over what to do about my job.  Bossman had threatened a long time ago that if I turned in my notice and he found a replacement before my time was up, then he would just have to go ahead and let me go.  In light of that I decided to just wait and not give him any notice.  One part of me hated doing that to him, but another part didn’t care because I was too afraid that he would just let me go anyway and then I’d be completely stuck with no job, no car, and no power/water at the house.  So I don’t feel too bad about sending him a text right before leaving work that Saturday explaining that it was my last day and why.

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“Dreams, dreams always dreams with you, never common sense.”

Scarlett

Ok, on to more important stuff.  The original plan was for me to stay with Teacher until I found a new job and a new apartment.  Unfortunately, I didn’t find a job right away, and then the apartment that I had picked out got rented to someone else.  Everything really does happen for a reason though.  A couple of weeks ago Teacher and I decided that finding a place together wasn’t such a bad idea.  We were enjoying spending more time together and combining our resources would benefit both of us.

I started searching for a place for us to rent.  I found a couple of great places, but nothing seemed to be working out.  Then we heard about an apartment for rent and set up a time to go look at it.  The property management lady (PML) was very nice and showed us a couple of places, and when we asked if she had anything else she said yes.  We followed her to the house (yes! a house!) and when she turned in the driveway, we both looked at each other and laughed.  It’s two houses down from where our friend CoolGal is moving into this weekend.  Plus the house was adorable!

It’s a little craftsman style cottage that’s the perfect size for us.  It’s also just been renovated.  We told PML that we had to think about it.  An hour later we were in her office filling out the paperwork.

il_570xN.254792568While we were there I mentioned to her that I didn’t have a job yet, and she asked what kind of work I do.  I told her and later that week I started working for her.  Yay!

Oh, wait…one more thing.  In between all of this craziness I started a new website that covers local music and art events, and I have somehow become a bit of a socialite in my new hometown, which is awesome.  I started it mainly because I was bored.  That’s just what I do.  Next thing I knew, two days later, I had over 600 likes on its Facebook page.  Weird.  A week later at a big social gathering, people were coming up to me saying, “You’re the girl from that website.”  Of course I did a double take at first.  A flash of terror crossed my mind as I thought that they were talking about this one.  Then I realized what they were actually talking about.  Whew.

Damn.  One more thing.  I made a deal with Teacher that for every chapter I finish on my book, he will write/perform/record an original song.  The plan is to keep each other motivated in pursuing our dreams.  So I may not be writing on here quite as much, but I will definitely be working toward my goal of finishing my book very soon.  And since I’ll have my very own quiet little office in our cute little house, I have no more excuses.

So, I think that gets us caught up.

Happy humping & write on!

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Supermoons, bitches, and wheelchairs

montrealWow.  What a month.  First of all, Bulldog quit.  Bulldog was the guy who replaced Hamster about a month and a half ago.  I can’t say I was too surprised to find out that he had found a better job and was moving on.  I also can’t blame him.  Hopefully I’ll be following him out soon.  Secondly, Bossman hired another guy who quit the day before he was scheduled to start.  Lastly, I found out this week that yet another new hire turned in his notice.  He started on Monday.  Bossman is not having the best of luck when it comes to keeping employees.  Sadly to say, for him at least, I will be leaving soon too.

I had a second interview with that company, but still haven’t heard anything.  I’m still checking out other job leads in the mean time.  Also, I thought I had found a cheaper apartment, which would have allowed me to move sooner, but that fell through.  It’s ok though, because that first apartment is still available. 🙂  Now if I can just save enough cash for the rent & deposit I should be ready to move.

Speaking of saving cash…my sister told me Monday that she’s moving next week.  The Preacher is coming down to help her move.  All I can say is thank God!  She’s been driving me crazy.  The house is a disaster area, her dogs brought fleas into the house (and they only seem to bite me and Little Bubba, not my sister), and between paying the power and water bills by myself I haven’t had any money left over to save for my move.

I got a call yesterday about another job prospect.  I’ve got an interview on Monday.  Maybe I’ll actually get this one.  In the mean time I’m taking advantage of having a week of paid vacation.  I scheduled it over a month ago in the hopes that Teacher and I would get to go somewhere.  It turns out that he’s Continue reading

Sibling Rivalries: The Bitch is Back

panicI think I’m having a panic attack.  My chest hurts, I’m sweating, it feels like someone is trying to choke me, my head is spinning, and I want to cry.  I guess I should thank my wonderful family for this.  Ever since they arrived this evening it’s been nonstop chaos and noise and tension and stress.  I tried to keep myself busy.  I did my laundry, the dishes, and finally just decided to hide up in my room.  Who knows how long the peace and quiet will last though.  We’ve got a shortage of beds again and I’ll be damned if I end up having to sleep with my sister and nephew again.

My plan of taking them out to dinner tomorrow night was shot to shit as soon as I mentioned it to my aunt.  My sister heard me and said in a snotty tone, “You’d better be saving for a car instead.”  I told her to shut up, and then she said something about me using her truck (the one I bought her) to get to work.  Considering she’s not working now and I’m the one with a full-time paying job, I think it’s in both our best interest for me to actually go to work.

steweyAfter that little comment though, I decided that instead of getting into a fight with her in front of my mom, aunt, little brother and nephew, I’d just not say anything else.  There’s nothing I can say anyway that would make her stop being such a selfish bitch.

Since I still haven’t found another car, I think I’m just going to call the mechanic Monday and tell him to put a new motor in mine.  At least that way I can get my car back and then get the hell out of this house…permanently.  It’s sad that she’s pushed me to the point where once I get out of here, I probably won’t speak to her for a very long time.  I have no reason to anymore.  All she does is judge, bitch, criticize, and complain about how I choose to live my life.  She’s worse than my parents ever were.

Happy humping!

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Top 5 reasons why the Preacher’s Daughters might get arrested

1.  Public intoxication

Actually this one probably happened on a regular basis a few years ago.  However, my sister rarely drinks anymore, and I only drink when I’m out with Teacher.  So we’ll reserve this one for holidays such as Halloween, St. Patty’s Day, and New Years Eve.

Sunday night (Cinco de Mayo) when I was with Teacher I did drink several beers by the fire.  He told me later that he could tell I was getting a little drunk.  I asked how he could tell and he said I “get cuter.”  Hehe.  🙂

2.  Driving while under the influence

As you all know I already had my little run in with the law over this one and I do not want a repeat of that.  Twenty-two hours with Big Bertha in a freezing cold, overly bright jail cell was plenty for me.

3.  Driving like a drunk granny

Last night as Fallen Angel, Little Bubba, and I were coming back from dinner we got pulled over.  She and I both said, “What’d we do?!”  She wasn’t speeding.  Her tag isn’t expired.  We had no idea.  To make things worse, Little Bubba was in the back seat and he said, “Mommy I’m scared.”  (Unfortunately he had acted up all night & I jokingly told him that if he didn’t behave I’d call the cops.  Bad idea.)  I had to reassure him several times after that the cop/sheriff’s deputy was the “good guy.”

Evidently, per the sheriff’s deputy, she was “driving 10 mph under the speed limit and weaving.”  Her truck has rattled lately and it sounds like a raccoon is under the hood, so she’s been trying to take it easy and not drive too fast.  She told the deputy that was why she was going so slow.  He said that was ok, but she was also weaving and he just wanted to make sure she was alright.  He also said “it’s your lane and if you want to use it all then that’s fine.”  (The funny thing is that I tell her all the time that she weaves too much, but she never believes me.  Finally I have proof!  LOL)

He let us go on our merry way after that.

4.  Failure to pay outstanding traffic tickets

This one seems to plague me and Fallen Angel.  She got a ticket last year for having an expired inspection sticker, and to my knowledge she never took care of it.  Of course I still have a couple of tickets that I’ve got to pay from when I was living in the Big Easy.  That was another reason we both sort of panicked when she got pulled over last night.

5.  Cavorting with 17-year-old boys

This one goes back to last year when I was talking to a guy from OKCupid.com.  His profile said he was 18, but he turned out to be only 17.  Once I found out, I quickly put a stop to any and all sexy talk and receiving of pictures from him.  The threat of jail time was enough to scare me straight, and it prompted me to change my search to only guys 24 years old and up.

That wasn’t my first encounter with a 17-year-old though.  Back when I was 22 I had a one-niter with my cousin’s co-worker.  I didn’t know the guy was only 17 until after the dirty deed was done.  I also didn’t know he was a virgin until it was too late.  We live and learn, as the old saying goes.

pkdividerSo there’s my list of the top 5 reasons why the Preacher’s Daughters might get arrested.  Thankfully I’ve only been arrested once, and my sister has yet to make that dreaded call to the Preacher from a jail cell at 2:00 am.  Hopefully she never will, because if she does…I’m not bailing her ass out of jail.  Not after the way she’s been treating me lately.  By the way, she’s still being a bitch from hell.

Our mother and aunt are set to arrive tomorrow.  It’s going to be a little Mother’s Day visit.  The only thing I’m looking forward to is taking them all out to dinner Saturday night.  No, I’m not looking forward to paying, but I am looking forward to having them meet Teacher and hear him perform.  His duo is playing that night at the restaurant we’re going to.  Hehe.  See, I’m still capable of being a sneaky bitch myself.  Fallen Angel hasn’t completely captured that title.

Happy humping & drive safe!

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