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Adventures in Wholesale

I’ve started a new section called “Quotes from Fallen Angel” because my sister sent me the following story tonight and I told her she deserved her own section on my blog.  So here it is!  Enjoy!

At work the other night Friend Cashier said that Bitch Cashier said she’s called.  I asked “Called what?!”  (Bitch Cashier really is a bitch by the way.)

“To preach!” replied Friend Cashier.

I snorted and said, “Well, I was called to be a pole dancer, but it didn’t work out.”

Five minutes later the hysterical laughter ended and we went back to work.

That is courtesy of Fallen Angel, my funny as hell sister.

To see more of her quotes, please click on the link on the menu at the top of the page.  Also, I have added a donate button on the right side of the blog.  If you would like to help support the plight of the Preacher’s Daughters please do so.  There is no minimum amount required.

Poor Little Bubba needs some financial security and 25% of all donations will go towards his education.  We want him to be one of the smart successful ones in the family one day.  Another 25% will go to our little brother The Tornado‘s education.  The other half will go towards buying sex toys for me and gas for Fallen Angel’s monster truck.  LOL  Just kidding.  I don’t use sex toys. 😉

Supermoons, bitches, and wheelchairs

montrealWow.  What a month.  First of all, Bulldog quit.  Bulldog was the guy who replaced Hamster about a month and a half ago.  I can’t say I was too surprised to find out that he had found a better job and was moving on.  I also can’t blame him.  Hopefully I’ll be following him out soon.  Secondly, Bossman hired another guy who quit the day before he was scheduled to start.  Lastly, I found out this week that yet another new hire turned in his notice.  He started on Monday.  Bossman is not having the best of luck when it comes to keeping employees.  Sadly to say, for him at least, I will be leaving soon too.

I had a second interview with that company, but still haven’t heard anything.  I’m still checking out other job leads in the mean time.  Also, I thought I had found a cheaper apartment, which would have allowed me to move sooner, but that fell through.  It’s ok though, because that first apartment is still available. 🙂  Now if I can just save enough cash for the rent & deposit I should be ready to move.

Speaking of saving cash…my sister told me Monday that she’s moving next week.  The Preacher is coming down to help her move.  All I can say is thank God!  She’s been driving me crazy.  The house is a disaster area, her dogs brought fleas into the house (and they only seem to bite me and Little Bubba, not my sister), and between paying the power and water bills by myself I haven’t had any money left over to save for my move.

I got a call yesterday about another job prospect.  I’ve got an interview on Monday.  Maybe I’ll actually get this one.  In the mean time I’m taking advantage of having a week of paid vacation.  I scheduled it over a month ago in the hopes that Teacher and I would get to go somewhere.  It turns out that he’s Continue reading

Sibling Rivalries: The Bitch is Back

panicI think I’m having a panic attack.  My chest hurts, I’m sweating, it feels like someone is trying to choke me, my head is spinning, and I want to cry.  I guess I should thank my wonderful family for this.  Ever since they arrived this evening it’s been nonstop chaos and noise and tension and stress.  I tried to keep myself busy.  I did my laundry, the dishes, and finally just decided to hide up in my room.  Who knows how long the peace and quiet will last though.  We’ve got a shortage of beds again and I’ll be damned if I end up having to sleep with my sister and nephew again.

My plan of taking them out to dinner tomorrow night was shot to shit as soon as I mentioned it to my aunt.  My sister heard me and said in a snotty tone, “You’d better be saving for a car instead.”  I told her to shut up, and then she said something about me using her truck (the one I bought her) to get to work.  Considering she’s not working now and I’m the one with a full-time paying job, I think it’s in both our best interest for me to actually go to work.

steweyAfter that little comment though, I decided that instead of getting into a fight with her in front of my mom, aunt, little brother and nephew, I’d just not say anything else.  There’s nothing I can say anyway that would make her stop being such a selfish bitch.

Since I still haven’t found another car, I think I’m just going to call the mechanic Monday and tell him to put a new motor in mine.  At least that way I can get my car back and then get the hell out of this house…permanently.  It’s sad that she’s pushed me to the point where once I get out of here, I probably won’t speak to her for a very long time.  I have no reason to anymore.  All she does is judge, bitch, criticize, and complain about how I choose to live my life.  She’s worse than my parents ever were.

Happy humping!

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Steel Magnolias No More

steel_magnoliasMy mother and aunt arrived here on a Thursday afternoon.  Fortunately for me I was at work when they arrived.  Unfortunately for my sister, she was here.  She said that they didn’t even make it into the house before they started their bitching.  First it was about all the stuff on the porch, then it was about the house being too messy, then it was about there being dishes in the sink.  (Just so you know, we cleaned before they got here, and the stuff on the porch is crap that we cleaned out to throw away.)  Once they looked in the refrigerator they started bitching about us not having any food.  (Again, we are on a budget, plus we’ve tried to eat healthier and veggies don’t keep forever you know.)  I’m sure that the lack of Little Debbie snacks and fat-filled crap made them think that they were going to starve before they could make it to the grocery store.  (Yet again, you should know that my aunt and mom are both overweight and have no idea how to eat healthy.)  So that’s how the visit started…with them bitching about every little thing and nearly causing my sister to have an aneurism.

Ok, so we had two extra people in the house so far, and we still only had my bed, my sister’s bed, and Little Bubba‘s bunk beds.  It wouldn’t be that big of a deal, but my aunt is so big that she can only sleep in certain places.  So logistically she had to take my sister’s bed, because my bed is upstairs, and neither one of them can make it up the stairs without nearly having a heart attack.  So me, my sister, and Little Bubba all had to sleep in my bed.  Talk about family togetherness.  The worst part of that was having my nephew’s knees jabbing me in the back all night.

On Friday, my dad and little brother arrived.  Thankfully I had to work again that day.  That night there was more bitching about food, the lack thereof, and how my sister was being unreasonable by trying to make sure we cooked healthy foods even while they were here.   Like they are allergic to it or something.  Shit, I am allergic to shellfish, but that never stopped them from cooking tons of shrimp and not worrying about what the fuck I was going to eat.  I always had to make do with salad or whatever I could find.  [Sigh] Sorry.  I know I’m ranting here, but I’m so stressed out by their being here.  I’m literally turning red and feel my skin heating up because I’m so angry with all of them.

That night my dad slept on his ancient camping cot thing and Little Brother slept on the couch.  Again me, sis, and Little Bubba all slept in my bed.

So we made it through Friday night, and I woke up Saturday morning and went downstairs to get my coffee.  I had my coffee and cigarette, took my shower, and got ready for work as usual.  When I came back into the kitchen my mom was going through the pantry.  She saw me and said, “Y’all don’t even have anything to make biscuits.”  I said, “Mom, [Fallen Angel] is on unemployment, and I don’t make that much, so we have run low on funds for food, but I promise I’ll get some groceries today.”  Mom sort of rolled her eyes and said “uh huh” in this disbelieving tone that really pissed me off.  Why she thinks we are living high on the hog I don’t know, but it’s really annoying considering we both moved here to help them and all they’ve done is bitch and moan about every little thing we’ve done.  If I could go back in time, I never would have paid the taxes on this damn house, and I never would have moved here.  I would have told them to shove it up their tail pipes and put a match to the damn place.

(Deep breaths.)

OK, so I’m stressed.  Not just a little stressed, but a lot stressed.  It’s not just the food issues, or the lack of understanding, or the constant bitching.  It’s also because I’m in a house with five other people, and I’m the ONLY ONE who IS employed.  And yet they feel that they have some god given right to tell me how to live my life and what to do with my money?  Oh hell NO.

(More deep breaths.)

Thankfully, Teacher had asked me to come hang out with him after I got off work on Saturday.  I had packed a bag and snuck it out with me when I left for work that morning.  I was all ready to go as soon as I closed up the store.  I had told my sister that I would not be back that night and I told her where I was going, but I didn’t mention anything to my parents about not being back that night.  I knew that there was no point.  They would just lecture me or ask a million intrusive questions or be very judgmental about it like they are with everything else I do.  So instead I just left.

I had a great time with Teacher Saturday afternoon and evening.  I got to hear him play and sing at a nice little bar/restaurant, meet some of his friends, and spend the rest of the night with him.  The next morning we went out to breakfast and then to a park for a little while before I had to head back.  I really didn’t want to leave, but I knew my family was probably already up in a tizzy because I didn’t come home the night before.  Plus it was Easter Sunday and we were supposed to have a family lunch/dinner and an egg hunt for the boys.  If it weren’t for the boys I wouldn’t have cared what the rest of them had planned, but I wanted the boys to have a good Easter.

As I was driving home I got a text from Fallen Angel.  It said, “Don’t get your hopes up on the ham.”  I wasn’t sure what that meant and she didn’t respond to my text asking her to explain.  When I was about half way home she sent me another text.  “Are you on your way home?”  I told her I was and she said, “Thank God.”  So of course my mind starts racing.  I didn’t know what to expect once I got there.  Would the ham be sitting on the front lawn, would they be screaming at one another, would I get verbally attacked when I walked in?  The wave of stress was overwhelming.  Then she sent one last text.  It said, “They saw the picture.”  (I had posted a picture of Teacher playing Saturday night on my Facebook.)

When I did get home and walk in, my mom saw me and just said, “Well, hello.”  Of course her tone is what said it all.  I knew what she really meant was, “There you are you little heathen. How dare you stay out all night while we’re here.”  So what?  It’s not like it’s the first time I’ve done something to piss them off.  They should be used to it by now.

The next few days were awful.  Usually it’s my sister and my dad who don’t get along, but this time it was my sister and my mom.  My aunt didn’t help either.  Their constant bitching about drove me crazy.  They finally left Wednesday and praise Jebus because I don’t think I could have taken much more.  I was just itching for them to say something to me so I could let the wrath of the redhead fall upon them all.

After they had all gone home I told my sister about them trying to convince me that I needed to move back there with them.  I told her that it would be a cold day in hell before I ever lived within two hours of them again, and I meant it.  Their drama is just that…theirs.  I don’t want anything to do with it.

Happy humping!
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Decisions, decisions. I need help.

Here’s my dilemma.  Once we lose/sell the house, my sister will move back to our hometown.  I will be left with several options.  I can either:

  1. Move to our hometown with her, finding my own place of course, because I refuse to live with her and her animals ever again.  This might also give me the inspiration I need to finish my book, not to mention, the flood of memories that will undoubtedly come rushing back would be helpful.  The main con on this one, though, is that I would be entirely too close to my relatives and family for comfort.  I would have to buckle down, concentrate on the book, finish it and then get the hell out of town before I lose my mind.
  2. Stay here in Podunk, MS, keep working my little job, find a crappy little apartment, and have no social life at all.
  3. Move back to New Orleans, the place that I grew to really like, be with the people I miss, and find another job & an apartment there.
  4. Move elsewhere in this great country of ours.  I have never lived west of the Mississippi.  Maybe it’s time for a bigger change.
  5. Do nothing.  Avoid making a decision altogether, until the day comes when we are forced out of the house and I’m left with no other options other than to move with my sister and live with her again.  (This is not a valid option.  I’m just putting it on here so I will be forced to face the facts.)

Help me out here…please.  I’m begging.  I need some advice on this one.  Thanks!

Happy humping!