So I know it’s been a very long time since my last post. I’ve had a rough year and a half. To start with, I left Tennessee and moved back to my home state of Alabama. It was a rushed and sudden move and even though it’s nice being back home close to my family, it’s also been an adjustment. I’m not used to having to deal with them on a daily basis. I do miss the freedom that I had before moving back here. Even though it has been strange at times, overall, I am enjoying it.
I’ve achieved some major goals that I had been working towards for a very long time. I finally got my license straightened out and got a car. At first I was living with a lady from my dad’s church, but she turned out to be a
cunt nut. I’ll tell you that story later. So now I’m living in a building that started out as a bar in the 1960’s, and then it was a church. Then it was just used for storage. So it’s a work in progress, but it’s kind of cool. It’s about as close to a NYC loft as I’m going to find here in the woods.
For almost a year and a half I didn’t date anyone. When I first moved here I looked on Plenty of Fish (I know, bad idea). I was very disappointed in what I found. So I just stopped looking. I concentrated on getting my shit together instead.
Once I got my car though, I kind of went crazy. After all, it has been a very long time since I had my own vehicle and was able to go wherever whenever I wanted. So I did. A lot. One of my first trips was back to Mississippi to visit Teacher. Remember him? Yeah, that’s the one.
It seems that we both realized that mistakes were made by each of us. Even though we had kept in loose touch with one another, we never really discussed anything more. Except for the one time when Buck and I went back to Mississippi to get the rest of my stuff out of storage, I hadn’t seen Teacher.
That first trip back to Mississippi was the beginning of May. I just went again for a long weekend and got back home today. I went this weekend because there was a local awards show that his band was playing. For me it was like the prom I never had. We had a limo and everything. I couldn’t have asked for a cooler “prom” date.
I did a little drinking that night, and in the limo on the way back to the hotel I told Teacher I needed bacon. I hadn’t eaten all day, but I didn’t really feel like going into Waffle House right then. I just wanted a bed. So the limo dropped us off and we ended the night bacon-less.
The next morning I woke up and he was gone. I figured he was outside smoking, so I took a shower and then went back to bed. I was still recovering. Then at 9:00 am he came in with a to-go plate full of just bacon. Bacon. That’s just as nice and thoughtful as flowers. That’s just the kind of cool guy he is. Guys, if you want to show a girl you love her, bring her bacon. Unless she’s vegan, then, I don’t know, get a new girlfriend maybe?
I have never stopped loving Teacher. I just need to say that. Even though he dumped me and broke my heart, I always loved him. Even though I married Buck; even though that crashed and burned; even though I knew that with me being a state away, it was definitely over for good. The love never went away.
That first weekend back in May when I went to visit, I realized something. I had been trying to replace Teacher, without any luck. As soon as we hugged that first time, after so long apart, I immediately felt that comfort, love, and a sense of relief. I was finally back where I was meant to be, with the man I was meant to be with. Our lives may have taken a detour or five, and the road was very bumpy, but it ended in the right place.
I’m not saying that I’m going to up and move back to Mississippi right now, but just knowing that we have each other is enough. I don’t know what it will evolve into. I just have a feeling that it will end up where it needs to be. I’ve rushed into enough relationships to know that I probably need to take things slow and not make any rash life decisions. Those tend to not turn out so well for me.
I’m turning 45 in a couple of days. I’ve been writing on this blog for 9 years now. I’ve learned a lot about myself in those 9 years, thanks to this blog. It’s made me stop and think about why I do what I do, and about my own faults and issues. That’s why I started this blog to begin with. I needed an outlet. A way to self-analyze and vent. If in the process it turned out to be the least bit entertaining, then hell yeah. Bonus points.
Also, please forgive me for being a little (a lot) rusty with the writing.
Until next time…
Peace, love, & happiness.