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35 Reasons you might be rejected by the Preacher’s Daughters

These are all based on real men whom Fallen Angel and I have either:  gone out on at least one date with, talked to, or have been contacted by on dating websites.  A couple of these I actually married, but later divorced.  This is only the tip of the iceberg though.  My sister and I were able to rattle off this list in about fifteen minutes.  As we listed them I typed it into my phone.  I plan on adding more to it as time goes on, and as the memories return to us.

  1. Pretty but dumb as a box of rocks
  2. No ambition
  3. Poor
  4. Player
  5. Acts like a twelve-year-old
  6. Ball-less
  7. Doesn’t own a car and lives outside of a major city
  8. Sends four texts for every one you send
  9. Admits on his profile to being molested, and outs his sister as also being molested as a child
  10. Secretly gay
  11. Raised by the mafia
  12. Con artist
  13. You ask for a hammer and he hangs up on you
  14. Not mechanically inclined
  15. Atheist
  16. Too religious
  17. Just got out of prison
  18. Crazy baby mama
  19. Crazy ex-wife/girlfriend
  20. Has too many kids by too many women
  21. Has too many kids
  22. Gets high too much
  23. Too much facial hair
  24. Needs more facial hair
  25. Doesn’t shower on a daily basis
  26. Spends four nights a week playing pool at bars, yet doesn’t drink or gamble
  27. Lives with parents/family
  28. Talks too much
  29. Excessive drinking
  30. Superhero syndrome
  31. Posts on profile that he’s “in a relationship”
  32. Has his girlfriend/wife message you on the dating site requesting “group fun”
  33. Extreme mood swings
  34. Unacceptable in bed (dick too big, too small, too kinky, not kinky enough, selfish, or just sucks in bed)
  35. Pedophile

Created using Out of Milk, http://outofmilk.com/android

If you would like to know more about any particular one, or if you agree with Fallen Angel that we should add the full stories and turn it into a book, please leave us a comment below. 🙂  I’m trying to lure her into the world of blogging, so any help would be much appreciated.

Happy humping!

Stalkers, parks and recreation.

CafeDuMondeDec06Waiters

I opened my Yahoo Messenger a few weeks ago and as soon as it logged in guess who I had a message from?  Stalker!  Yep, my one and only very own personal stalker!  I have debated whether to write about this one because it is a glaring example of my stupidity and bad taste in men.  However, the time has come to put it all out there for the world to see, or read, or whatever.  🙂  I’m going to post some of my entries directly from my journal so you can see just how this all went down.  I’ve changed the names of course.

August 22, 2008

I met Stalker.  We met in person in New Orleans on August 22nd.  He’s 47, from N.O., originally from Cuba, he & his family moved to the states when he was a boy, he’s worked for [company] for 24 years, is in the Navy Reserves & has applied to become a LA State Policeman.  He’s very nice & cultured, which I made the mistake of telling my sister that & now she thinks he is gay.  Anyway, we went to Cafe Du Monde with his friend & then walked around the French Quarter until 10:00pm or so.  His friend had gotten him a room at a timeshare that he has & it was there in the French Quarter so we decided to go back there & hang out & eat something.

Everything was fine, we ate, then I was going to sit on the couch & he pulled me in for a hug/kiss.  He was a very good kisser…nice full lips.  We went & sat on the couch & he pulled my legs up into his lap & he said that he loved my shapely legs, which is a first I think.  I don’t remember anyone ever complimenting me on my legs.  So we kind of went from there to the bedroom.  I was very hesitant to take off my clothes.  I had not planned on going there that night so I didn’t have any other clothes or anything with me.  We finally got comfortable & honestly I was completely shocked.  He is 5’5″ and I did not expect him to be so well endowed.  I also knew that he was very tired & didn’t expect him to last long, but he lasted a very long time.  So long that I was almost ready to tell him to stop.  Not that it wasn’t good, it was great, but he was going so hard & deep that I was beginning to get sore, not nearly as sore as I ended up being the next day though. OMG I could barely move once I got home.  My ass, stomach, legs & insides were all aching.  Before I left the next morning though, we made love again & I actually initiated it.  My damn medicine just makes me so horny sometimes that I can’t help myself.  Plus, why not take advantage of having a cock there while I can.  LOL

September 7, 2008

I met Stalker in [town] because it was his birthday.  We went & had pizza, hung out at a local park, then just sat & talked in his car for a while before I had to leave.

September 8, 2008

Stalker sent me a text saying that he could fall madly in love with me & he was already crazy about me.  Kind of scary considering we’ve only known each other a few weeks.  But to make things even scarier, the next day, he texts me that he will probably marry me.  How scary is that???

September 12, 2008

Stalker says that he knows he’s in love with me & he wants to fuck me so hard & so badly that he has to masturbate every day.

September 13, 2008

I met Stalker at 10:30 pm in [town] & stayed the night with him in a hotel there.  While making love he told me that he loved me.

I’m still not sure if I can handle his going on & on about things that really bore me to tears.  He says I don’t talk enough, but how can I if I can’t get a word in edgewise?

September 15, 2008

Stalker keeps texting me telling me that he loves me & wants to pound me & make me his little white, green-eyed, blind, barefoot & pregnant princess.  He knows I can’t have kids though.  He also has an eyeglass fetish I think.

October 11, 2008

I had an eye exam at 8:20 am in [town] and of course Stalker wanted to be there.  After all, it was his idea in the first place.  His “fetish” has gone a bit far.  Well, he met me there, went into the exam with me, talked to the Doc, and then we went next door & ordered new lenses for my glasses.  Then he wanted to go to Sam’s & do some shopping.  I hate shopping with him.  He really is a tight wad.  LOL

Then we went to Chik-Fi-La for lunch.  Again, he says he loves fast/fried food, but I don’t know if he’s just really cheap or what.  One day I’m going to try & get him to go to an real restaurant & see what happens.

Finally after driving all over the damn place, and spending a few hours at the office, he finally agreed to start looking for a hotel room.  I was starting to get what I thought was an allergy attack after we left the office, so I really just wanted to get a room & relax a little.  He just talks and talks and I barely say anything.  When I do try to say anything I have to butt in & I think I end up sounding a bit rude, not on purpose, it’s just that it seems that I only get to interject when it’s something I force myself to say.

I think I’m just more scared that he’s talking about marriage & babies already when I’ve only known him less than two months and have only seen him a handful of times.  He says he loves me & is crazy about me, but I don’t understand why that has to mean that we have to rush and go to a drive through chapel in Las Vegas!

My journal entries about Stalker end there mainly because I stopped seeing him once his “roommate” started texting me.  He had told me about her early on and said that they were just roommates, but she wanted to be more.  He also said that he was not interested in her.  Bullshit alert!

She found my number in his phone and started texting me telling me that he belonged to her and for me to leave him alone.  Done.  I wanted nothing more to do with him, but it’s never that easy.  He found out and continued texting, calling and emailing me.  No matter how many times I told him that I didn’t want to see him again he just didn’t get it.

I finally had to change my phone number just to get rid of him, or so I thought.

In February of 2009 I received a three page handwritten letter.  It was addressed to me at my dad’s mission.  I guess at some point I had told him that I was working there and the name of it, so he easily tracked down the address.  The letter went on and on about how much he loved me and how I should forgive him and give him another chance.  He said “I just want my soul back and you have possession of it.”  How sweet, and psycho of him.

I told my dad that if Stalker showed up at the mission he had my permission to shoot him on site.  I was genuinely afraid of what Stalker might be capable of doing.

He never showed his face again, but he did continue to email and send me instant messages.  I just ignored them.  To this day he still sends me a “happy birthday” message every year and occasionally pops up just to say “hi” and see how I’m doing.

I’m not afraid of him anymore, but then again I have a gun of my own now.  He’s the one who should be afraid. LOL

Happy humping!

Dropping the L-Bomb

Why do some men feel the urge to say “I love you” so soon?  I’ve always been the type to wait to say those three little words.  I don’t like rushing into things and I want to make sure that what I’m feeling is love and not just lust.  What I don’t understand is why so many men that I’ve dated seem to say “I love you” entirely too soon.  How can they be sure that it’s love?  Do they even realize what they are saying?  Do they really mean it or is it just the lustful passions overwhelming them and clouding their minds?  Are they just trying to get into my pants?  Or am I just continually dating the wrong kinds of men?  Those are all questions that I wish I knew the answers to.

I don’t think that anyone can fall in love after only one or two dates.  Falling in love is supposed to take time, right?  I never really believed in love at first sight either.  Maybe that has something to do with why I don’t understand why men keep telling me that they love me so soon after starting to date them.  There are so many “maybe”s involved that it just confuses me more.

When men say “I love you” to me too soon in a relationship it scares me.  It’s not that I don’t want them to ever say it, I just want them to say it at the right time and in the right way.  I’ve written before that there are two things that you should never say to a woman in bed, “I love you” and “Will you marry me?”  Those two things should be said not only out of bed, but also never over the phone or via text message.  Say it when you’re looking the person in the eyes, and not in a horizontal position.

This is also covered in my list of 10 things that turn me off.  It’s number 9 on the list:  “Men that tell me they love me within the first three months of dating.”  There’s just something about it that doesn’t sit well with me.  I’ve read that it’s acceptable to say “I love you” after the first three months of a relationships.  I found a couple of articles online that give some good information on this subject:

That’s all I have to say for tonight.  I have my second date with EB tomorrow.  I’ll let you know how it goes.  I’ve talked to him a lot more on the phone this week and we’re getting to know each other a lot better.  It’s weird though how when I’m dating someone new, as they tell me things I am constantly having weird thoughts going through my head.  I wonder about things like if he’s being honest, if we’re really compatible, if he’s talking about certain things a lot because he has issues that will hinder our relationship, if we have enough in common to take us beyond the bedroom, or am I just being too analytical?

Good night & happy humping!

Cooking Up Some Romance

I had my first date with EB.  (I’ll explain later why he’s called EB.)  Lasting nine hours, it was possibly the longest first date I’ve ever had.  Being honest is not always fun or easy, but here’s the cold hard truth.  As far as my dating rules are concerned, it was an epic fail.  Even though I managed to follow a few of the rules, I completely ignored a couple of them.

We met at Wal-Mart and did some grocery shopping because he wanted to cook me dinner at his place.  (Rule # 2 – fail.)  EB is a chef and I was looking forward to some good food.  I know it may sound strange to meet a person for the first time at Wal-Mart, but it is a public place and we met during the day, so I felt safer meeting him there.  It was actually kind of fun, like going shopping with Curtis Stone.  The way to a man’s heart may be through his stomach, but it’s also a sneaky detour to my heart.  Having a cute guy cook for me is always satisfying.  He definitely scored some points for that one.

After we got through shopping I followed him to his place.  We talked for an hour or so and he gave me a tour of his place.  As we sat on the couch talking he went in for the first kiss, and it was a very good one even if it was short.  We really did do a lot of talking and getting to know one another, but here’s where rule #1 comes crashing down.  After that first kiss I realized that I had a problem.  I was very attracted to this guy, and he was just as attracted to me.  We kissed some more and then he led me to the bedroom.  I sat down on the bed and within two minutes he had my clothes off and was going down on me.  I did feign a little resistance at first, but I decided it was pointless and I totally caved.

He took his clothes off and got on the bed with me.  It was kind of dark because the curtains were closed, so I couldn’t really get a good look at what he had to offer.  I was pleasantly surprised by what came next.  He wasn’t too big or too small.  He was perfect.  I’m talking about his penis by the way.  His body is nice too.

After round one we went back in the living room and talked while he cooked.  Before we ate we started making out on the couch again and ended up back in the bedroom a second time.  At that point we were both starving and dehydrated, so we went back in the kitchen to eat.

It was getting late and he asked what time I needed to leave.  I told him I didn’t want to wait too late to leave, but just as soon as I said that a thunderstorm warning came on tv and then the storm hit.  I was going to be conveniently stuck there for another hour at least.  Plenty of time for round three, which didn’t take long to get going.  Each time got better and more tiring, but I really did need to get home so we went back in the living room yet again.  At 8:00 pm I decided it was time to go home.  As I was leaving the bathroom he pinned me against the wall in the hallway and started kissing my neck.  I told him he had better stop before he got me going again.  Needless to say he didn’t and we ended up back in the bedroom for round four.  This guy was like the freaking Energizer Bunny (EB).  He just wouldn’t stop.  It was awesome!  LOL  I literally rode him until the mattress was half way off the platform bed frame.  Now that was some damn good fucking if I do say so myself. I finally made it out the door at 9:30 pm to go home and after a goodbye kiss and a promise to text him when I got home.  I left, with a smile on my face.

I hadn’t planned on having sex with him once let alone four times.  I even neglected to shave my legs that morning just so I wouldn’t be tempted.  So much for that plan.  He didn’t seem to mind either.  Breaking my new rules was a bit disappointing, but if I had the chance I would probably do it all over again.  I guess some rules are just meant to be broken.

We’ve already scheduled our second date for Saturday night/Sunday.  Of course it’s going to be a sleep over date.  We’ve already had sex, so why not?  I just pray that he doesn’t turn out to be bi-polar, controlling, aggressive or just plain crazy like some of my most recent boyfriends.  He seems normal so far.  We shall see!

Happy humping!

Love & Sex Q&A #94

Love & Sex94

Do you feel that your responsibilities to your partner keep you from doing the things you really want to do?  Have you ever used such responsibilities as an excuse for avoiding things you were afraid of?

I really hate some of these questions.  This is one of those.  Dr. Gregory Stock speaks of responsibilities to one’s partner.  I’m trying to wrap my head around that one.  I’m sure I’m making it more difficult to understand than it actually is.  I’m not sure what kind of responsibilities he’s talking about.  I think my selfishness is causing a mental block on this one.

I’m sure that at some point I have done whatever he’s talking about so let’s just say we did and leave it at that.  We all know that I’m not afraid of much, but I do tend to avoid things like confrontations and conflicts.  In the past I have used my family as an excuse to get away from my partner for a while, or vice versa.  Sometimes a girl just needs time away to think and meditate.

That’s all for now folks.  I hope you have a great weekend, and I’m sure I’ll be writing more before it’s over.  I started a post earlier today, but Skaterboi interrupted me with an unplanned trip into the city.  I should have just stayed home.  So hopefully I’ll have that up later tonight.

Happy humping!