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My Band of Ex’s and O’s

Somehow I just managed to realize that I’ve dated a lot of damn musicians.  Enough to have my own band.  So here’s who would be in my band…

Teacher.  Duh, he teaches music full-time and is a professional musician.  He plays just about every instrument, but he’s amazing on guitar.  And, he sings.

Art.  I’d put Art on keys.  He can play guitar too, but he has more of a piano kind of vibe to him.  He’s a….Cad.  Yep.  That’s the word.

Bluegrass.  Ah, shitty old Bluegrass.  Unfortunately, he’s the only banjo player I’ve dated.  Being from Alabama, it would be a sin for me not to include the banjo in my band.

Rocketman.  I can’t even be mad at Rocketman anymore.  He was a sweet guy.  He just had some major issues.  He was a bass player, like me.  He committed suicide five years ago.

Ok.  So far we have guitar, keys, banjo, and bass.

Last, but not least, is drums.  This is going to have to go to Redbeard.  As far as I can recall, he’s the only drummer I’ve dated.  He’s also a tad crazy.  Today he posted a series of FWB memes on his Facebook feed.  Here they are for your enjoyment:

This bitch be like, “he crazy and needy.”

I didn’t respond in any way.  He’s just not worth it.  I’m sorry for breaking his heart, but he’s not alone in that.  There was a line of heartbroken guys before him, and there will be more after.

Until next time…

Peace, love, & happiness.

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Drawn to the music(ian)

Steve Perry

I’ve almost dreaded writing this post in a way.  Although it’s been on my mind a lot lately, I just didn’t know what to think of it.  It seems, after much thought and consideration, that I am intrinsically drawn to musicians when it comes to dating.  What prompted me to finally post this was a friend request that I received on Facebook yesterday.  It was from Endymion.  Yes, the one and only.  Even though I haven’t seen him in a year or even spoken to him in a very long time, he evidently still remembers me.

Don’t worry.  I’m not interested in anything with him.  I’ve moved on to greener pastures.  My main point here is that after I accepted his friend request I saw that he has just graduated from a guitar building school.  That reminded me that he also is a musician.  So I started thinking back and trying to remember how many musicians I’ve dated or been out with.  Here’s my list so far.

  1. Rocker (you don’t know about him yet)
  2. O’Brother (another you don’t know about yet)
  3. Curly (and another…)
  4. Musicman
  5. Yankee Cowboy
  6. Bluegrass
  7. Bobblehead Nerd
  8. Smooth (Ok, I’ll just have to add all these guys to the book. I didn’t realize I had left out so many.)
  9. Rocketman
  10. Mountain Man
  11. Art
  12. Endymion
  13. Teacher

So, I’d have to say that for me to have never consciously made an effort to date musicians, I sure as hell do date a lot of them.  The more I think about it, the more I remember.  Luckily, after Googling “attracted to musicians“, I found out that I’m not the only woman afflicted with this problem.  Research even shows that women really are more attracted to musicians.  I really like this article that lists the “Top 5 Reasons Why You’re Attracted to Guys (and Gals) in Bands.”  It all makes sense to me now and I know that I’m not some kind of groupie freak who unknowingly seeks out musicians to date.  Whew, what a relief.

Mmm...sexy.

Mmm…sexy.

After all this thinking back and remembering and researching, I’ve come to the conclusion that even though I never thought I had a “type” physically, I definitely have a “type” musically.  So I guess it’s a good thing that Teacher is such an awesome musician, because evidently that just makes me want him even more, without even realizing it.

Also, I couldn’t end this post without reiterating my love of Willie Nelson, who as you all know, is an awesome musician.  Could this have contributed to my love of musicians?  Maybe.  If so, then they all owe Willie a debt of gratitude.  😉

Happy humping & play on!

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Post St. Patty’s Day Afterglow

[Insert "big balls" joke here.]

[Insert “big balls” joke here.]

St. Patty’s Day is one of my favorite holidays because any holiday that centers around alcohol and acting like a fool is awesome.  St. Patty’s Day in New Orleans is great all by itself, but when I’m with someone who I actually enjoy spending time with, it’s even better.

Last year I was living in New Orleans and spent St. Patty’s Day with Rocketman who turned out to be a freak and a liar, but I still had a good time that night.  I drank until I passed out and a good time was had by all.  To me that equals a successful St. Patty’s celebration.

This year was a little different.  I still spent it in New Orleans, but this time I was actually with a decent guy.  We hung out, went and saw a great band at a really cool bar, and drank lots of incredibly good beer.  I was a very happy girl.  Good beer, good guy, good music.  It doesn’t get better than that.

cabbageThe guy that I went with shall forever after be called…hmmm…damn, Musicman is already taken.  Let’s call him Teacher.  He’s a music teacher, hence the name, and so far we have tons in common, can talk about anything, and the physical attraction is definitely there.

So Teacher and I had our third date Saturday, and it turned into our fourth I suppose, because I didn’t get back home until late Sunday night.  Now I’m back home, back to work, and ready for my fifth date with Teacher on Friday night. 🙂  Until then…

Happy humping!
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35 Reasons you might be rejected by the Preacher’s Daughters

These are all based on real men whom Fallen Angel and I have either:  gone out on at least one date with, talked to, or have been contacted by on dating websites.  A couple of these I actually married, but later divorced.  This is only the tip of the iceberg though.  My sister and I were able to rattle off this list in about fifteen minutes.  As we listed them I typed it into my phone.  I plan on adding more to it as time goes on, and as the memories return to us.

  1. Pretty but dumb as a box of rocks
  2. No ambition
  3. Poor
  4. Player
  5. Acts like a twelve-year-old
  6. Ball-less
  7. Doesn’t own a car and lives outside of a major city
  8. Sends four texts for every one you send
  9. Admits on his profile to being molested, and outs his sister as also being molested as a child
  10. Secretly gay
  11. Raised by the mafia
  12. Con artist
  13. You ask for a hammer and he hangs up on you
  14. Not mechanically inclined
  15. Atheist
  16. Too religious
  17. Just got out of prison
  18. Crazy baby mama
  19. Crazy ex-wife/girlfriend
  20. Has too many kids by too many women
  21. Has too many kids
  22. Gets high too much
  23. Too much facial hair
  24. Needs more facial hair
  25. Doesn’t shower on a daily basis
  26. Spends four nights a week playing pool at bars, yet doesn’t drink or gamble
  27. Lives with parents/family
  28. Talks too much
  29. Excessive drinking
  30. Superhero syndrome
  31. Posts on profile that he’s “in a relationship”
  32. Has his girlfriend/wife message you on the dating site requesting “group fun”
  33. Extreme mood swings
  34. Unacceptable in bed (dick too big, too small, too kinky, not kinky enough, selfish, or just sucks in bed)
  35. Pedophile

Created using Out of Milk, http://outofmilk.com/android

If you would like to know more about any particular one, or if you agree with Fallen Angel that we should add the full stories and turn it into a book, please leave us a comment below. 🙂  I’m trying to lure her into the world of blogging, so any help would be much appreciated.

Happy humping!

My Breaking Point With Manwhore

Well, it finally happened.  I lost my damn mind and my ability to control my mouth.  Last night Manwhore and I got in a huge fight.  It was unexpected and over something seemingly insignificant.  As my sister said, “It’s about damn time.”

I sent him a text last night asking him to stop by the store on his way home.  He sent me a text back telling me that he was bringing a friend home with him, Whore #2.  Yes, the territory-marking bitch ice queen who was rude to me and who hated me.  As you can tell, I have such fond memories of her.  This was the same woman who he said he told not to contact him anymore because of the awful things she said about me.

So…when I got his text I replied “What?! Why?”  It’s bad enough he’s started up the whore parade again, at least he could have the decency to bring in fresh meat.  This stuff with bringing in tired old used pussy is just sad.  See there I go again with my big mouth.  I just can’t seem to help myself.  It seems that I have deep anger issues when it comes to Manwhore.

So, he got pissed off that I asked why he was bringing her over.  When they came in he immediately came in my room and said we needed to talk.  I told him that I didn’t want to talk with her here, but he insisted.  That really pissed me off.  So, in full-on pissed-off redheaded preacher’s daughter fashion, I let him have it, and was loud enough so that she could hear it all.  I told him things that I have held in for years, and a few things that were just for her benefit.  It was oddly freeing.  I was so mad I was shaking.

I haven’t gone that far over the edge in a very long time.  This morning I called my sister and told her some of what I told him.  She laughed and said that coming from anyone else it would be awful, but coming out of my mouth, it was just funny.  I wasn’t trying to be funny.  I was trying to spit fire, and burn his ass.  I think I accomplished my goal.

As I told him off he got angrier, I got louder, and he told me he hated me.  I returned those feelings.  I yelled a lot about how he admitted to using me, how he manipulated me and my feelings, how he fucked everything that he could get his hands on, and how he needed to leave me alone, get out of my room and go fuck the ugly cunt in the living room.  I didn’t call her an ugly cunt though.  I called her something far worse, and made sure I said it loud enough and enough times for her to hear.  I was terrible.  I admit it.  Anger does terrible things to people and I’m not immune.

He told me that he was so mad that he wanted to hit me.  I was prepared for anything.  He didn’t hit me.  If he had I probably would have pulled my .38 out of the drawer.  Thank God I didn’t have to do that.  It did get me to thinking though.  If we were fighting that bad, and getting that angry at one another, it was time to go.  So I told him I would move out.  Never mind the $4,000 I spent getting us into this apartment, or the $1,500 deposit I am going to lose.  I need out.

Then she walked in and looked like she was either high or drunk as hell.  She didn’t say a word.  He told her we were talking and closed the door on her.  Not long after he left my room he took her home.

I hate the idea of leaving New Orleans, this beautiful apartment, and Endymion, but I think it’s best for now.  I’m not ruling out the idea of moving back here at some point, but for now I need to get away from him and this city.

I haven’t broken the news to Endymion yet.  I hope he will want to stay in touch and maybe even visit one another occasionally.  If not that’s fine too.  I’ll miss him because he’s a great guy and my first cub, but I’ll find another cub to play with.

Dammit.  I hate how things can change so drastically in a matter of hours.  It’s time to let go and move on though.  I will more than likely return to the Big Easy one day.  I love it here too much to stay away for good.  Until that time, I’m going to stay with my sister and help her out like I should have done over a month ago.

To top it off, he brought her home with him again tonight.  She’s still here.  I am fighting the urge to pull out my .38 and start cleaning it.  Maybe I should at least unload it so as not to have any accidents.  I’m just kidding of course.  I would never do such a thing.  I’m too careful, and too good a shot, to have an accident.

This just keeps getting better.  I was about to post this when Manwhore came in to ask me when I was leaving and when I’d be back for the rest of my stuff.  I told him I’m leaving tomorrow and will be back probably Tuesday to get the rest.  I told him I’d probably need stay the night because that’s a lot of driving and I’ll be loading everything up into the truck myself.  Being the smart ass that he is, he said that if I didn’t leave at noon I could do it all in one day.  Then he said that his step-daughter is coming to stay a week, so basically he told me that I wasn’t welcome stay.  That’s fine mother fucker.  I don’t want to be here any longer than necessary.  If I have to I’ll get a hotel, and I told him so.

How did I ever get so involved with such a lying cheating manipulative sleazy asshole like Manwhore?  Well, I’ve learned my lesson once and for all.  I’m finished with looking for a relationship.  I’m finished forgiving Manwhore and trying to be his friend.  I’m finished with old men that can’t keep their dicks in their pants, and I’m finished with Manwhore for good.

So here’s to all the men I’ve loved in New Orleans.  May you live long and prosper.  Except Manwhore.  May his cock fall off and may he never get any good pussy ever again.  No, I’m not still angry. 😉

This meeting of the She-woman Man-haters Club is now adjourned.

Happy humping!