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My Band of Ex’s and O’s

Somehow I just managed to realize that I’ve dated a lot of damn musicians.  Enough to have my own band.  So here’s who would be in my band…

Teacher.  Duh, he teaches music full-time and is a professional musician.  He plays just about every instrument, but he’s amazing on guitar.  And, he sings.

Art.  I’d put Art on keys.  He can play guitar too, but he has more of a piano kind of vibe to him.  He’s a….Cad.  Yep.  That’s the word.

Bluegrass.  Ah, shitty old Bluegrass.  Unfortunately, he’s the only banjo player I’ve dated.  Being from Alabama, it would be a sin for me not to include the banjo in my band.

Rocketman.  I can’t even be mad at Rocketman anymore.  He was a sweet guy.  He just had some major issues.  He was a bass player, like me.  He committed suicide five years ago.

Ok.  So far we have guitar, keys, banjo, and bass.

Last, but not least, is drums.  This is going to have to go to Redbeard.  As far as I can recall, he’s the only drummer I’ve dated.  He’s also a tad crazy.  Today he posted a series of FWB memes on his Facebook feed.  Here they are for your enjoyment:

This bitch be like, “he crazy and needy.”

I didn’t respond in any way.  He’s just not worth it.  I’m sorry for breaking his heart, but he’s not alone in that.  There was a line of heartbroken guys before him, and there will be more after.

Until next time…

Peace, love, & happiness.

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Drawn to the music(ian)

Steve Perry

I’ve almost dreaded writing this post in a way.  Although it’s been on my mind a lot lately, I just didn’t know what to think of it.  It seems, after much thought and consideration, that I am intrinsically drawn to musicians when it comes to dating.  What prompted me to finally post this was a friend request that I received on Facebook yesterday.  It was from Endymion.  Yes, the one and only.  Even though I haven’t seen him in a year or even spoken to him in a very long time, he evidently still remembers me.

Don’t worry.  I’m not interested in anything with him.  I’ve moved on to greener pastures.  My main point here is that after I accepted his friend request I saw that he has just graduated from a guitar building school.  That reminded me that he also is a musician.  So I started thinking back and trying to remember how many musicians I’ve dated or been out with.  Here’s my list so far.

  1. Rocker (you don’t know about him yet)
  2. O’Brother (another you don’t know about yet)
  3. Curly (and another…)
  4. Musicman
  5. Yankee Cowboy
  6. Bluegrass
  7. Bobblehead Nerd
  8. Smooth (Ok, I’ll just have to add all these guys to the book. I didn’t realize I had left out so many.)
  9. Rocketman
  10. Mountain Man
  11. Art
  12. Endymion
  13. Teacher

So, I’d have to say that for me to have never consciously made an effort to date musicians, I sure as hell do date a lot of them.  The more I think about it, the more I remember.  Luckily, after Googling “attracted to musicians“, I found out that I’m not the only woman afflicted with this problem.  Research even shows that women really are more attracted to musicians.  I really like this article that lists the “Top 5 Reasons Why You’re Attracted to Guys (and Gals) in Bands.”  It all makes sense to me now and I know that I’m not some kind of groupie freak who unknowingly seeks out musicians to date.  Whew, what a relief.

Mmm...sexy.

Mmm…sexy.

After all this thinking back and remembering and researching, I’ve come to the conclusion that even though I never thought I had a “type” physically, I definitely have a “type” musically.  So I guess it’s a good thing that Teacher is such an awesome musician, because evidently that just makes me want him even more, without even realizing it.

Also, I couldn’t end this post without reiterating my love of Willie Nelson, who as you all know, is an awesome musician.  Could this have contributed to my love of musicians?  Maybe.  If so, then they all owe Willie a debt of gratitude.  😉

Happy humping & play on!

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Something’s got a hold on me

Soul_Rebels__36I had my date with Teacher last Friday night.  We went to dinner and then to a local club to hear a brass band from New Orleans.  Before they came on though, we had to endure a trio of trucker types playing original songs about bailing the wife out of jail and other stuff that I couldn’t even make out.  The brass band was awesome though.  However, we didn’t stay very long because I had to work Saturday, and I also couldn’t keep myself from being naughty and flirtatious and just wanting to hurry back to the hotel room.

In other news, I really need to change my phone number again.  My phone was vibrating non-stop that night.  I don’t usually want to just completely cut off contact with everyone, but for some reason I’m finding it all too distracting and annoying.  Right now, the only thing I want to concentrate on is being with Teacher.  That means that I don’t need Manwhore, EB, Endymion, and the Ox texting me all night while I’m trying to spend quality time with a really great guy.

I know what my problem is…I’m too nice.  Not all the time, but a lot of the time.  Of course I have my evil bitch moments, but overall I’m very nice.  That can cause problems when it comes to relationships that have ended, since some guys think they can just keep popping up whenever they feel like it.  That’s really getting old, and I’m getting tired of constantly deleting texts from guys I don’t want to talk to anymore.  I’m thinking a fresh start may be in order.  Kill the weeds so the new flowers can grow.

I know I tend to jump into things too quick when it comes to relationships, but I’d like to think I’ve grown and learned a lot over the last few years.  I’d also like to think that my taste in men has improved.  Luck or fate may have more to do with it though, and I think fate has finally smiled on me.  Of course it’s good to be cautious when first seeing someone, but being overly cautious can be bad.  I don’t want to live my life afraid of taking chances or giving things/people a chance.

My sister loves to remind me of the things I’ve said in the past about men I’ve dated.  I was talking to her last week and said something about how great Teacher is and how gentlemanly he is.  She was quick to remind me that when I started dating Skaterboi I said that he treated me like a princess.  We all know how that turned out.  He was hardly a prince and treated me nowhere near like a princess toward the end of the relationship.  But that’s just one relationship and one asshole.  Not all men are like that.

If I’m being completely honest, even the ones that turned out to be assholes were always assholes.  I just didn’t want to admit it in the beginning.  I knew those relationships probably weren’t going to work out, but I had ulterior motives.  Usually involving getting away from my family, great sex, or wanting to feel normal.  Well, fuck normal.  I just want to be with the right person for me.  And by that I mean someone who I have a lot in common with, can be myself with, not have to hide anything from, and just be happy in life’s little moments.  Who knows…maybe Teacher is that man.

I don’t want to be presumptuous, but he does do things to me that most men don’t.  No, I’m not talking just about sex.  Although the sex is awesome.  I’m talking about how he makes me feel and how I feel about him.  Like I said earlier, I don’t even want to hear from or talk to anyone else.  They are just too much of a distraction, when all I really want to do is focus on Teacher.  My interest in other men has disappeared, and that’s odd for me.  I only get that way when I really like someone.

If I look back to the times when I was a “cheater” I can see that it was usually because of one reason.  I wasn’t that into the guy I was with and allowed my sex drive to take over instead of my morals.  I allowed myself to become what I hate most.  I also knew that the ending of the relationship was inevitable and figured I could just hurry it along by cheating.  Of course that’s not the best way of going about it, but it worked.

I don’t seem to have to worry about any of that with Teacher though.  I can’t get rid of the pop-ups and lurkers fast enough.  Speaking of fast enough…I’m trying to contain myself and not move too fast even though everything in me is telling me to just let go and let it fly.  There’s a constant battle raging inside me, going back and forth between wanting to be the free spirit wanting to love and be loved, and the morally uptight prude who thinks I should hold back emotionally so that I won’t get hurt.  The latter is exhausting though.  It’s so much easier and less stressful to just let go and be with someone, not constantly thinking ahead and worrying about what might happen.  Sure, I could get hurt, again, but so what?  It happens.  Then I dust myself off and move on.

Oh, and one last thing.  Teacher knows about my blog, and he’s been reading it.  So far I think he’s up to August 2011.  The way I see it, if he makes it to the end and is still seeing me, then he’s a keeper for sure. 😉  Not all men can handle me and my crazy past and not be judgmental about it.  He seems to be the type that can though.

As always…

Happy humping!

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Old Habits Die Hard

*This is probably the tenth version of this post.  I keep starting and then stuff keeps happening. LOL

Well, I did it.  I finished reading my first book in fifteen years.  And that book is Fifty Shades of Grey.  Sad isn’t it?  The ending just pissed me off.  Then my sister told me that I had to read the second book for it all to make sense.  So I started reading Fifty Shades Darker and was somewhat appeased, if only temporarily.

I got a few chapters in, and just got bored with it all over again.  I do declare though, that I will finish these damned books if it’s the last thing I do.

Moving on.

Damn it all to hell!  I’m so frustrated with myself and with men.*  It’s my fault.  Maybe the monogamy thing isn’t for me after all.  I don’t say that because I’ve recently cheated on anyone.  In fact, I made it a point to tell the person I’ve been seeing that monogamy is very difficult for me and that I probably wouldn’t be able to do it given my history with men and relationships.  Actually why I told him that was because I still had high hopes that I would still get to see “the one I really want” occasionally.  That hasn’t happened though, so I’ve been forced to move on.

It is even more difficult for me to stay monogamous when I’m not in love with the person who I’m seeing.  When I’m with someone I am in love with then I rarely feel the need to check out how much greener the grass is on the other side of that imaginary fence.  Since there is no fence, and all the grass around here seems to be dead, I’m just going to graze wherever the hell I want.

*I noticed earlier in the week that Endymion had removed me from his friends on Facebook.  I sent him a message asking it he was upset with me.  His reply?  “I’m not anything with you. You might as well live in China.”  That made me a little sad to think that I had probably hurt his feelings by not coming to visit him since I moved.  He does know of at least one time that I’ve been back to New Orleans since then, but I didn’t tell him it was to visit my “friend.”  It’s probably a good thing that he unfriended me though.  I seriously doubt I’ll ever move back to N.O. and while it was fun, that chapter is over.

To hell with monogamy

Since I’ve been thinking about monogamy a lot lately, it seems only fitting that I finally gave in and agreed to meet the Golfer for lunch after four years of his messaging me.  When I first met him back in 2008 I was freshly divorced, but he was married so we didn’t do a lot other than making out.  I guess the guilt of cheating on my ex-husband made me more inclined to not help someone else become a cheater.  So I quickly put an end to our little affair.

He is a persistent man though, and I suppose he just finally caught me in the right mood and I gave in.  I met him for lunch last Monday.  I still hadn’t planned on doing anything with him, but things happen.  Hormones kick in.  Lust takes over.  You know the rest.  What I remember most was how he kept saying he was being Continue reading

Waiting to exhale

Cheesy title I know, but it really describes how I feel.  It seems like I’m always waiting on something so I can just breathe.  Like now, I’m waiting to find out what is going to happen with this house, my sister, my friend, my life in general.  “Lost” doesn’t even begin to cover where I’m at in life right now.

Growing up I always had people trying to control me and my life, and even though I cherish my freedom and independence, I feel a little lost when I don’t have someone there trying to control everything for me.

My sister went up to look at that house this weekend, and it turns out that it’s not something that is going to work out for her.  So now we have to find a new plan.  She would stay here, but my boss told her that he’s selling his building and she has to be out by the end of the month.  She was renting an office space from him because her job allows her to telecommute, but she has to have fast internet access, and we don’t have that here at the house.  That leaves her with two options, find a new office to rent, or go ahead and move back to our home state and find a place there where she can set up a new office.

Moving back to our home state was always her plan B, and it seems that now it may be her only option because she got a call from the realtor today.  The woman who looked at the house a couple of weeks ago called and now she wants to bring her husband to come and look at it.  We already know that the woman loves the house, and if the hubby likes it the realtor thinks that they will go ahead and make an offer.  If they do decide to buy the house they want to move in thirty days after the papers are signed.  So we could be homeless in less than two months if things move fairly quickly.

I did some house hunting online, just for the hell of it, and found a really cute “Anne of Green Gables” style house in our home state not too far from where our parents are living now.  It has a horse barn and pasture for my sister’s herd, and it even has a little old general store building on the property.  I would be happy just turning that into my own little cottage.  If we can sell this house then I think I’ve almost got my sister talked into buying that one, or at least taking a look at it.  I don’t relish the idea of being tethered to my sister and nephew for the rest of my life, but the idea of moving back to my homeland, Alabama the Beautiful, and it is a beautiful state, somehow comforts me.

The other thing I feel like I’ve been waiting on is my friend, the one who I was supposed to go see the weekend before last.  He sent me a text a week ago telling me that he had been having phone problems but was back home.  He didn’t say anything else.  A couple of days ago I sent him a text just saying hi.  He never responded.  I guess I should go ahead and return the gift that I’ve carried around in the trunk of my car for over a week now.

I understand that if he’s having a family crisis then he probably doesn’t have time for long conversations with me or anything, but he could at least let me know he’s ok.  Then again, if he can’t even talk to me about things when he going through something like that, then he must not really consider me a friend after all.  Maybe all I ever was to him was just an occasional bed buddy.  It’s too bad, because I make a really good friend and listener too.

I kept promising to explain why I shouldn’t move back to New Orleans, and I guess now is as good a time as any.  It will also connect some of the dots above.  Since my friend isn’t showing much interest and he’s one of the main reasons I wanted to go back to NOLA, now I don’t have much reason at all to move back there.  There are other more important reasons though.

First of all, my little DWI experience back in 2010 came back to bite me in the ass.  I completed all my classes and paid my fines and everything, but I failed to pay off some other unrelated fines to get my physical drivers license back.  When I was living in NOLA I got pulled over one day and got a ticket for a whole list of offenses, and honestly I lucked out because the cop could have taken me back to jail right then, but he didn’t.  Unfortunately the ticket turned out to be over a thousand dollars and I missed my court date because I had to work.  So now I have no license and can’t get one until all that is paid off.  Another problem that came of all that is that I think I have bench warrants out on me, so me taking a chance by being in NOLA is probably a very bad idea.

To top it all off, Manwhore is still there in NOLA and supposedly getting married again in December, and he’s the last person I want to run into.  He also knows about my dirty little DWI secret.  Depending on which side of the bipolar tree he’s swinging from on any particular day, he might just turn me in for the fun of it.  So you can probably understand my trepidation there.

Since I have a whole list of reasons why I shouldn’t move back to NOLA, and very few reasons why I should, I think I’ll just appreciate the time that I did get to spend there, and leave it in my past where it belongs.

Just so you know, and so I don’t feel like a complete liar, I’ll tell you only that someone from my past has popped up again.  I don’t want to say who just yet.  It’s someone who I have very conflicted feelings about…someone who I like, but who also scares me.  Once I sort out some of my feelings on the whole situation, I’ll try to share them in more detail.  Until then…

Happy humping!