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Taking out the trash

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I have a problem.  A trash problem.  It started about four months ago, when I moved in.  For the first time in over a year I found that it was my responsibility to take out the trash.  Well, that just sucked.

So I devised a plan.  I would take out the trash once a week when I was doing laundry.  I would take it out on my second trip to the laundry room when it was time to put the clothes in the dryer.  The trash bins are behind the laundry room, which is across the yard, next to the pool.

That worked for a while, until I got behind on my laundry.  I only got behind on my laundry because I kept forgetting to go to the bank and get quarters.  Damn quarters.

So as time went on and my trash bag sat in the floor next to the stove, I started having visitors.  Mostly male visitors.  Ok, fine.  They were all male visitors.  Very nice male visitors too.  Because each and every one of them offered to take my trash out for me.  Of course I had to decline, because, you know, pride and all.

I always told them that I was going to take it out in the morning, or later that day.  I never did.  Well, I did occasionally.  This went on for months.

Last night Bacchus came over.  We were sitting at the table talking and somehow the topic of my garbage came up.  Of course he offered to take it out.  I declined.  Then I told him that everyone tries to take out my garbage for me.  He admitted that it did bother him that I always had a bag of garbage sitting there.  I laughed.

He proceeded to grab the bags, yes there were two last night, and asked where the dumpster was.  I told him and he took it out.  When he got back I told him that he had completely fucked up my story.  Now it had an ending.  Or does it?

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Happy humping my fellow Oscars!

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Just Say No Thank You

So I did end up jumping back into the sea of Plenty of Fish.  Even though Woody & Airman both found me offline, they contacted me online.  I still haven’t met Woody, Airman stood me up that day, and I went out with a new guy who I met on POF.  I had a really great time with him.  He was handsome, funny, and I really had no complaints.

The problem is that after our date that night he slowly stopped texting me.  Airman did the same thing.  So I have stopped texting them.  I don’t want to come across as pushy or even worse, desperate, so I’ll just let it be.  If either one of them likes me enough to want to talk to me or hang out again, then the ball is in their court now.

It just irritates me when people don’t at least say ‘thanks, but no thanks’ or ‘I’m just not that into you.’  Something is better than nothing.  It’s like the guy who I talked to a few weeks ago.  We chatted online, exchanged numbers, text messaged for a bit, and then talked on the phone for almost two hours.  He even sent me a text after we got off the phone and said that he really enjoyed talking to me.  Then I never heard from him again.

So I just don’t know what to think about these men anymore.  Even the ones who I think are nice decent guys end up not having the balls to say how they really feel, even if it means not wanting to see me again.  If I can’t find a great guy who sends me flowers and wants to woo me and be my best friend, then I wish I could at least find one that knows how to be honest.

Happy humping (or not humping)!

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Waking the Sleeping Giant

So I had an interesting weekend.  Saturday night I went to the local watering hole to hear some music and hang out with DC.  I had a great time hanging out and talking to her.  I almost didn’t go though.

I was supposed to go out with Woody on Friday night, but his motor home broke down on the way back from the coast.  So I didn’t hear back from him until about 4:30 am Saturday morning.  He then had to go to work, so our plans were pretty much shot yet again.

After a call from DC on Saturday afternoon, I decided to go out instead of wasting the weekend sitting at home.  So I got to the bar, had a seat, and ordered a beer.  While I waited for DC to arrive I glanced around the bar.  There was a big table of people at the other end of the bar.  I noticed one guy standing by the table and I sort of thought I caught him looking at me, but I wasn’t sure.  I was trying not to stare, but at the same time I was trying to figure out why he looked familiar.  I didn’t know if maybe I had seen him on Plenty of Fish, or if I had just seen him there at the bar before.

A little while later, DC arrived and we ended up going outside on the patio to smoke and talk.  We went through some of the profiles of guys who had messaged me on POF, and DC either gave them a thumbs up or a thumbs down.  As the night went on, and as they closed up, a couple of friends, the owner, and some of the staff joined us on the patio.  What I didn’t really notice at the time was that the guy from earlier was there sitting across from me.  Finally it was time to call it a night and DC gave me a ride home.

The next morning I woke up to my phone buzzing and vibrating.  As I usually do first thing when I wake up, I grabbed my phone and checked the number of emails, texts, Facebook alerts, etc. that were waiting for me.  Of course I also checked my POF app icon & it showed that I had a message waiting.  So I checked it first, thinking it would probably be more entertaining than anything else.

The message said, “I hope if I speak u won’t parade my pics around like the other guys u did tonight.  Is my age a problem?  My name is Airman I was at the bar tonight and would have spoken but u were with a friend.”  He had messaged me at 12:47 am.

HK boyshortsAfter a short WTF moment, I messaged him back.  Then he wrote, “Btw not to sound terrible but I noticed your Hello Kitty panties last night when you got up one time and I must say it’s kind of a turn on cause it’s something different.”  I couldn’t help but to laugh.  I did have on my black boy short undies with the hot pink “Hello Kitty” band at the top.  I didn’t know that they were peeking out the top of my jeans when I got up though.  Then he told me that the reason he noticed my undies was because he checked out my ass numerous times that night, and there’s something about a grown woman in cartoon panties that is a turn on.

Well, who am I to argue with that?  If this 26-year-old guy wants to come over and hang out in hopes of getting another peek at my Hello Kitty undies, then bring it on!

About 7 o’clock Sunday night, Airman showed up to my apartment.  He was cuter than I remembered, and beefy, very beefy.  Here I was in my living room with a guy almost fifteen years younger than me and all I could think was, this is going to be awkward.  See, I’ve been with younger guys before, as you all know, and I suppose I have high expectations from them.  I was spoiled by Endymion and Thord.  They were both extremely cool in and out of the bedroom.  How could this hunk of man candy possibly live up to my high expectations?

Well, it turned out that he’s a very nice guy, was in the Air Force, did a tour in Iraq, very laid back, and dammit if he didn’t have a very talented tongue too.  The guy could kiss, really kiss.  It wasn’t too sloppy or too aggressive.  It was great.  I had absolutely no complaints until he fell asleep, and he slept, and slept, and, oh my God.  Was he ever going to wake up and leave?  I watched tv and rubbed/scratched his back while he slept.  (He has a very nice firm back and butt.)

Eventually I grabbed my phone and sent my sister a text.

text 1As you can see, she was not much help.

Thirty-five minutes after that last text, he woke up and I told him that I needed to go to bed.  He gave me a kiss goodbye and went home, and I went to bed and passed out.

Today I got a text from Airman.  He said, “U want to hit replay tonight?”  As much as I wanted to say yes, I knew I had laundry to do and I was just exhausted from a long day at work.  I had to tell him that tomorrow night would be better.  He tried hard to get me to change my mind, but I wouldn’t give in.  Then he sent me another text, but I can’t even post that on this blog.  It was flattering and graphic all at the same time.  I’ll just say it wasn’t the first time I’ve been exuberantly complimented on a certain part of my body.  It made me feel both shocked and all tingly inside at the same time.

So he’s coming back over tomorrow night.  It should be fun! 😉

Happy hump, hump, humping!

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