Archives

Tequila vs. the Haircut: Tequila wins every time.

A couple of weeks ago I had planned on getting a haircut because I really need one.  I’m starting to get a little bushy on the sides since the girl who cut it last time didn’t know what the hell she was doing.  She cut it so short that I was dangerously close to being mistaken for a boy.  I wanted it short, but not that short.  That was over a month ago and it’s grown out a bit since then.  The sides and back are shaggy and need cleaning up.

That friday I drove an hour to pick up the mail and to make a deposit for my dad.  While I was there I was going to stop by my mom’s hairdresser’s shop and see if she could fix it.

After running all of my errands I decided that since I was supposed to go with my sister to the trail ride/concert/party that Saturday night, I needed alcohol.  I wasn’t actually going for the trail ride part, just the drinking & partying parts.  Don’t misunderstand.  I can ride.  I just choose not to.  Plus I’m so damn short that it takes a ladder or step stool just for me to get on a horse.  Instead of humiliating myself I choose instead to Continue reading

Why I call hubby #1 the Con Artist – part 2

First of all I’d like to apologize for taking so long to post part two of this story.  I’ve been without internet access for the past ten days.  Thank God it’s back on!  I missed you all so much! 🙂  If you missed part one you can find it here.

After I got back home from my disaster of a trip to NYC, I got a call from the Con Artist.  He tried to apologize for not picking me up and taking me back to the airport, but I wasn’t in a very forgiving mood.  He said that he was hung-over and sleeping that morning and just didn’t hear the phone.  Whatever, I was so over him and his bullshit.

In May 1996 I was back in my hometown living with my cousin.  I was broke and looking at a very bleak future ahead of me.  I had no reason nor desire to live a “normal” life at that point.  I had been fired from my job as church secretary, spent five months sowing my wildest oats in Atlanta, and had lost all hope of ever being that good little preacher’s daughter ever again.

When the Con Artist called me for the first time in nearly a year and asked me to come back to NYC and stay with him, I figured what the hell.  It’s not like I was doing anything else at the time.  I just really wanted out of my hometown and away from everyone I knew.  Even though I didn’t like him or trust him, his offer was convenient, and so I took him up on it.

I packed all of my clothes into a couple of big boxes and shipped them to his house.  My cousin took me to the airport and I got on a one-way flight to NYC.  The Con Artist picked me up from the airport and Continue reading

Confession of the Day: My secret crush

Confession of the Day

My secret crush:  Hannah Harto of My Drunk Kitchen.  See video below and you will understand why. 🙂

Happy humping…in my dreams!

Sex, bowling and break-ins.

We were sitting in the living room watching “Love in the wild” tonight and they showed the pro golfer, Steele Dewald.  (Who names their kid Steele?  Wow, I thought my name was bad.  Damn.)  The following conversation ensues.

Me:  I wonder what ever happened to my golfer guy in [city name]?

Fallen Angel:  Who?

Me:  You know, the married guy that I sneaked into that show home with a few years ago.

Fallen Angel:  What?!  You broke into a house?!

Me:  Not exactly.  It was a show home, the kind that has just been built in a subdivision and is open for people to look at.

Fallen Angel:  What did you do there?

Me:  Not much.

Fallen Angel:  You did him there didn’t you?

Me:  Not completely.

Fallen Angel:  What does “not completely” mean?  And why not completely?

Me:  He was married.

Fallen Angel:  So you did everything but screw?

Me:  No, not everything.  He was married.

Fallen Angel:  I can’t believe you sneaked into a house and messed around with a married man.

Me:  It’s not like it was the first time I’ve done that…sneaked into a show home I mean.

Fallen Angel:  What?  You’ve done it more than once?

Me:  Only one other time, and that was a very long time ago.  I think the guys were construction workers that time though.

Fallen Angel:  Guys?  There was more than one?  How many were there?  You did them both there?

Me:  Just two, and no.  I only did one there.  I did the other one back at their apartment.  I didn’t like him as much though.  He looked like Mr. Clean and was too aggressive.  So I did the first one again.  He was cute.

Fallen Angel:  [Little Bubba], you’re Aunt [PD] is a w-h-o-r-e.

Me:  I said it was a long time ago!  Plus they were Romanian and had bought me tequila shots all night.  We went bowling after we left the club.  Then we went to the show house, then back to their apartment, and then they took me home.  I remember waking up later that evening and finding huge bruises all down my right leg.  It took me a while to remember what I had done and figure out that they were from the bowling ball hitting my leg.  I barely even remember going bowling.

Fallen Angel:  Wow.

Me:  It’s not like there were people living in the house.

Fallen Angel:  So you basically just broke it in for the future owners.

Me:  Yep.

Fallen Angel:  You’re insane.

Me:  Yep. 🙂

Happy humping!

Song of the day:

Office Romances In The Air

Since I’m not working I do a lot of thinking about what kind of work I want to do once I can go back to work.  I also think about my earlier jobs, bosses, and co-workers.  I’ve been lucky enough to be able to work for and with some great people over the years.  For a long time I had no problems with office romances because I never had any.  I had some mutual flirtations with a few co-workers over the years, but nothing that ever came to fruition.  I only had one true office romance.  The others cannot technically be called that.

My first real office romance was when I was living in NYC.  Every year the company rented a hall and had a big Christmas party.  It was always fun, mainly because most of the employees and management were very cool people.  The last one that I attended before leaving the company turned out to be the last one that they had where the owner rented a hall and had it catered with an open bar.  I love parties with open bars, but as expected, I tend to drink too much and sometimes end up getting a little wild.  I’m not the one dancing on the tables at the end of the night, but I do end up shocking some of my co-workers who have only before seen me as the quiet little PD that they all know and love.

This was probably the only one where I got so drunk that I did something that I later regretted.  I drank too much and partied a little too hard and when the party was about over, one of my co-workers, Unibrow, asked if I wanted to stop by his place for a last drink.  At first it was going to be a few of us going to his place, but when we got there the rest of them backed out and it was just the two of us.  He had always been flirtatious and very friendly, but I was still young and sometimes clueless when it came to men.  Little did I know that I would wake up in his bed the next morning, hung over, panicking, and trying to remember exactly what I had done.  I’m sure that I had that deer in the headlights look on my face when I realized what had happened.

At that time I was going through a period where I didn’t date much, and had random sex even less.  Since I wasn’t really into one night stands at the time, he and I started dating on the down-low.  It went really well for a while, but I eventually decided that he just wasn’t the one for me.  Plus it started getting weird when people noticed him stopping by my office all the time, which he never did that often prior to the Christmas party.

After that little office fling I chose not to date anyone else that I worked with.  Later on I did date one of my bosses after I stopped working for him, but that was years later.  That one was more of a friends with benefits type of situation.  We’re still friends, but no benefits.

Office romances can get messy and awkward if they don’t last.  I decided that it was not a good idea for me to try it again, and so far I’ve stuck to the rule of not dating co-workers.  I think it’s a good rule.  I come up with a lot of good rules.  I just have trouble following them sometimes. LOL

Happy humping, just not at work!