In my last post I told you about Buck cheating on me and lying to me. I am far from over this, but for now I did allow him to come back to the apartment. We had a long talk yesterday. I reminded him of the rules that are in place so as to make the “open marriage” concept work for us. Obviously it wasn’t working for him. He had it so easy. All he had to do was be honest with me and not lie and hide things from me. He realizes that now, but it’s too late. I’m not sure I can recover from this betrayal.
He told me that he can’t stop and won’t stop being with other people. I knew that already, but I thought with the rules we had agreed upon that it would not be that big of a problem. So, now I realize that it’s not just that he wants to be with other people, it’s that he wants to be sneaky and for it to be taboo. He doesn’t enjoy it as much if I know what he’s doing. I understand that there is an element of excitement to cheating, but the price you pay is never worth it. Unfortunately for me, I’m probably going to be the one who pays the greatest price with my health. He doesn’t use protection and doesn’t seem to understand that you can still get an STD from performing oral on someone. I told him it’s only a matter of time before it all comes to a crashing halt, and I’m not willing to just ignore his idiotic behavior anymore.
He has no respect for me, and he sure as hell doesn’t care about my feelings or needs. So I’m guessing that this marriage (number three for me) will probably end much sooner than “till death do us part.” I swear to God and Jesus and Bruno Mars that I will never ever get married again, not even for the health insurance. I’d rather die of a wonky heart than have to put up with this shit any more.
Dumb ass. Just like my sister Fallen Angel says, men are all dumb ass motherfuckers who are selfish pricks. They can’t be trusted with anything, especially their own cocks.
One more thing. I owe an apology to my friends in Mississippi. They tried to warn me about Buck. They didn’t like him and I just thought it was because I was moving away with him. I was so wrong. They were right. Buck is a lazy, selfish, cheating, lying, son-of-a-bitch. Damn, I have horrible taste in men. WTF is wrong with me?