Peace, Love and Happiness

One night, while at the local watering hole with DC, one of her old high school friends  showed up.  She sat down with us and we started talking.  She told us about her kids, grand-kids, and all that good Southern small talk shit.  Then once we moved on to the topic of relationships, she dropped a bomb on us.  She has not had sex in ten, ten, years.  Oh my God.  I almost spit out my beer.

DC was also shocked, but she said that she had also gone years without before.  DC then noticed that I had turned pale and stopped breathing at the thought of not having sex for TEN years.  DC then asked me, “Well Ginger, what’s the longest you’ve ever gone?”  My answer, “six months.  Those were six of the longest months of my life.  DC then proceeded to laugh and snort, spitting out her Scotch, then saying, “That’s all? Six months?!”

So last week I went 4 days without sex.  Before that I went another four days without sex.  As of tomorrow I will have gone another four days.  If I can make it past day four I will have accomplished a tiny milestone towards my new goal.  Celibacy for one *cough* year.  I want to cry just typing that, and yes, I hang my head in shame.

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Shame, not from being embarrassed that I willfully choosing to become celibate, or that I probably won’t make it even three months, but that it’s come to this.  That I actually need to quit having sex cold-turkey because I have a serious problem.  You may think I’m just trying to be funny, but I’m not.  There are so many things that I’ve done that I couldn’t even write about on this blog because, even though this is anonymous, I was still so damn ashamed of myself that I couldn’t even to write about the awful things I had done.

So I’ve decided that since I’ve left so much out of my blog because I wasn’t proud of doing those things, I’m going to write about them while I’m suffering through my year of celibacy.  That way, I write more, I purge my sins, and you don’t get left out of the confessional loop any longer.

Call it a cleansing process.  I’m already about to have a panic attack just writing about it, and it hasn’t even been four days yet.  I plan to do anything necessary to stay celibate.  No more hanging out at the bar, getting drunk, flirting with strange men.  No more online dating websites.  Most of all, no more ex-lovers, ex-husbands, and ex-boyfriends tempting me by waving their cocks in my face.  No more dick-blindness.  SLUTS FOR A CURE.  So, there’s my half-assed plan on remaining celibate for ONE YEAR in search of inner-peace, self-love, and authentic happiness.

Peace, love, & happiness.

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4 thoughts on “Peace, Love and Happiness

  1. I was celibate for 2 years. When I finally seriously pursued dating a girl, she was astonished. Sure my left hand became my lover during that sexless gap in my life, but I thought I wanted to save myself for something or someone important and meaningful. Mind you, I wasn’t a virgin at this point, so this romanticised notion of having meaningful sex didn’t make sense to people that wanted to screw my brains out.

    At some point this girl did what she did even have we had many hot sexcapades, and I said “screw it”. I’m good in bed, or wherever the heck we end up going at it, and I want to explore this sexual side of myself, with or without a “relationship”.

    I say all of that to say this: If it makes you happy (and doesn’t hurt anyone)

  2. LOL, as I was saying, if it makes you happy, do it. If it is something you must hide or dislike, change it and do better.

    Whatever it is that you decide to do, the world better watch out. Remember to focus your focus. Aiming for something is pointless if you don’t know how to aim for your target.

  3. Being a preacher’s daughter, this seems like the perfect time and place to confess your sins. And since none of us are qualified to hand out penance, you’ve got nothing to lose! 😉

  4. Pingback: Living the dream | Confessions of a Preacher's Daughter

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