In my efforts to become a more self-aware wonderful human being, I have been making a conscious effort to notice more things. Especially the small things. Since my breakup with Teacher was supposedly, and probably, due in part to my being a very unobservant person. So I’ve decided to work on that.
While embarking on this journey of self-awareness I decided to take up smoking on a more frequent basis. Well, that and I scored some, finally. So if you’re wondering why this post is a little off, there’s your sign.
In one of my many nights alone here in my apartment, as I partook (that’s a funny word), my mouse kept clicking on different links in Facebook. It was like a treasure hunt that I didn’t know I was on. I would look at one person’s photo and would notice who had “liked” that photo. Then I noticed that one person in particular was liking an awful lot of someone’s posts, pics, etc. One thing led to the next and before long I had realized something I had already suspected. Teacher has a girlfriend.
I think it’s obvious to those who have been reading my blog for a long time that I have a gift for performing my own investigations on people in my life. Computers and the internet are a girl’s best friend when it comes to checking up on boyfriends, husbands, potential baby daddys, etc. It truly is a beautiful thing, and mostly to blame why I’m the geeky girl that I am…and the slut that I am…and the stalker that I can be.
So Teacher’s girlfriend. Yeah, umm. She’s ugly. Butt ass ugly. Beat with the ugly stick ugly. I know it’s not nice of me to say that, but it’s my blog and I have to tell the truth. It’s not like I’m going to say that to her face. I’m not totally evil. However, I did tell Teacher today via text message that I was happy for him and that I thought she was more suitable for him. Yes, I know that the words were nearly dripping between the lines. He didn’t seem to notice though. Again, he’s an idiot for so many reasons.
I’m very happy for Teacher. I suspect that this relationship may not be that new. He may not have fucked her while he and I were together, but something could have definitely been in the works so to speak. Like Fallen Angel once told me about the Preacher, an emotional affair is still an affair.
It’s all good though. Since I’m in an honest mood, I’m just going to go ahead and give y’all a big ole confession tonight. I cheated on Teacher, once. It was after he had been sleeping on the couch for what seemed forever, and he was never home, and I was lonely. I’m not proud of that, but I had my reasons for doing it, and in the end it all worked out anyway. He dumped me and I no longer have to beg for sex or be made to feel like a cheap drunk whore.
That seems to be a recurring theme in my relationships. If I’m not happy or unsatisfied, I cheat and then the relationship ends without the other person even knowing I cheated. It’s just a personal “end the relationship” catalyst.
I’m a joker, I’m a smoker
I’m a midnight toker
I get my lovin’ on the run