Where have all the good Southern Gentlemen gone?

I do declare, finding a good single Southern Gentleman in this damn place is harder than finding a condom in my sister’s vajayjay.  Unless one just drops in front of me, I think I’ll just plum out of luck.  For those of you who don’t know the difference between a Southern Gentleman and a redneck, I’ll explain it for you.

154_0609_09_z+michigan_mudding+no_nameA redneck is a scruffy guy who enjoys hunting, mudding, drinking beer in excess, and probably has no real ambitions in life except maybe to get hitched and make some little redneck babies with a woman who is happy to wash his drawers and fix his supper.  His accent is southern, but not the gentile type.   He also has no problem using words like dingle and the n-word.  I’m generalizing here, but you get the idea.

A Southern Gentleman is more educated, and probably went to one of the big SEC schools.  He is stylish, courteous, chivalrous, polite, ambitious, and kind.  Hunting may be one of his pastimes, but it’s not something that he spends most of his free time doing.  He actually enjoys going to museums, traveling, and yes, even spoiling his significant other whenever possible.  The finer things in life are important to him, but so is working hard and planning for his future stability.  Of course he too wants to settle down, but not just to make babies and have someone bring him his supper.  He wants an educated woman to be his partner in life.  And the accent…oh my God, the accent.  Just hearing him talk makes you melt.  It drips with charm, intelligence, and humor.

tumblr_mpldzlkLcR1qka51yo1_1280Now that we have that cleared up, I’ll just tell you right now that there is not a single decent looking single Southern Gentleman in this damn town.  Trust me.  I’ve checked.  Twice.  Since there aren’t any left, I’ve deleted all of my profiles from all the crappy dating sites and have decided that unless one drops in my lap, I’ll just stay single forever.  Plus the fact that my tastes in men seems to suck on a colossal level doesn’t help any.

This completely goes against my “never give up on love” policy, but at this point I don’t have the energy nor the drive to continue looking for my soul mate.  In fact, I don’t think I even have one.

So it looks like I’m stuck here because of my job, which I am grateful for, but I have no real friends here.  I’m all alone in this little town with no car.  I couldn’t even run away even if I wanted to.  My life has turned into a monotony of going to work, going home, watching tv (lately it’s just been re-watching True Blood), and praying that one day, before I die alone in this shit hole, I’ll be able to at least buy a car and get out of town for a few days.

Well, there I go again ranting.  At least I feel a little better now.  Not much.  Just a little.

Here’s a cheesy 80’s video to make us all feel better.

Happy humping!


12 thoughts on “Where have all the good Southern Gentlemen gone?

  1. Focus on yourself rather than expending energy on another person. Build yourself up and make yourself happy. I get that some things like sexual urges might need a helping hand to be satisfied, but if it can be helped do it yourself.

    Have you ever searched for something, only to realize that it was either in the most obvious of places, or somewhere you never even thought to look?

    • That’s exactly what I’m trying to do, although it’s not easy. At least I have my own place now. That’s a start. I’ve even acknowledged the fact that I need to stop relationship hopping. I need a breather. Dating is ok, but I have no desire to jump back into a serious relationship.

      And my helping hand works just fine, but I may have to make a purchase from http://www.adameve.com soon. 😉

  2. Sometimes you’ll find what you didn’t even know you were looking for. Both of my wives have been “improbable”, but pleasant partners, at least for a few years. I don’t believe anymore that a partner-for-life exists for anyone, but your own ‘Mr. Right Now’ is out there somewhere.

    • I never find what I’m looking for. Very few of my significant others have been who I consciously would have chosen for myself. They appealed to me for reasons other than those I would have looked for in a man.

  3. I lived in Atlanta for 8 years before moving back to the Oregon coast after I got married, so I feel I have some level of authority when I say this: Good Southern gentleman come along about the same time as cicada mating season — every seven years or so. I’m not sure where you’re at in the timeline, but it sounds like you’re about due. So hang in there! 😉

    • Oh, Canada! I’ve personally known a few Canadian men and they were all quite attractive. You may be on to something there. 🙂

      • We Canadian men are not all PHYSICALLY attractive, but we do have our fine points about us, eh ??

  4. Southern gentlemen DO exist. We just don’t see them. Why? Because they bore us. Preachers daughters like to get dirty, one way or the other. I personally don’t mind mudding 😉

    • LOL That’s because you are the cowgirl and I’m the city girl. The only mud I want on me is in my cleansing face mask. 😉

  5. Hello Preacher’s Daughter, I know how you feel I can’t seem to find a nice southern belle. It’s hard finding a nice lady to converse with. If you like I’d like to get to know.

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