So here I am at work, contemplating life’s wonderfulness and thanking the universe for sending me Teacher, and in walks Car Wash Guy. In between contemplating and daydreaming, I was also doing some work for Bossman (who I’m not happy with right now, but I’ll explain that later). So I was able to ignore CWG for a few minutes, but eventually he asked me a question about a camera and I had no choice but to acknowledge his presence. After he asked me about the camera he quietly asked if I had changed my number. I told him that I had and it was because I got a new phone from Bossman.
Then CWG said something odd. He said, “I got my divorce. She cleaned me out.” Wait. What? I don’t remember him being married. I’m pretty sure I would have remembered that. When I questioned him about the married part he said, “Yeah, I told you I was in the middle of a divorce.” Well, ok, whatever. However, I swear I don’t remember him telling me any such thing.
He asked if I still had his number. I lied and said I didn’t. It’s probably still in my phone, because I’m too lazy to delete numbers. So when he asked for my number I told him that I was seeing someone. He quickly said, “Oh, ok, I’m sorry.” Then he pretty much just left. Thank God.
As I said, I had been contemplating and daydreaming before CWG came in. So after he left I had a thought…wouldn’t it be so much better if I didn’t have to worry about “pop-up men” or any other men that I’ve known? Seriously. I’m taken now, and I hope to stay that way. So why wouldn’t I wish I could just make them all leave me alone?
As I told Bossman after CWG left, I may have to reconsider my views on marriage. I’ve always told Bossman that I wasn’t marriage material because I like variety too much, but I don’t think that’s very accurate. My judgement when it comes to men has always been off, but when I’m seriously committed to just one person I’m a much more stable happy person. So I don’t think liking variety has anything to do with it. I think I just really want to be with one awesome person. When I’m satisfied in a relationship then I don’t feel the need to look for other men.
Looking back on my past serious relationships, I was never a cheater. It’s just not me. It’s too stressful and the guilt can be overwhelming. So even though I did cheat on my second husband right before I left him, it was only because I had already given up on the marriage and knew it would be over soon. Not that it’s a good excuse for cheating. There’s never a good excuse for that, but it’s at least an explanation.
I guess what I’m getting at is that I am no longer anti-marriage. I wouldn’t really say that I’m pro-marriage either. However, if people want to get married, then good for them. People should be able to marry whoever they choose regardless of sex or race or religion. No, I’m not going to start preaching about equal rights or legalizing gay marriage. Although, I do believe it’s a God-given right to marry whoever you damn well please. So, there.
Back to my point. I was wrong. Because I’ve had bad luck in the past when it came to marriage, and because I had to sit by and watch Manwhore go through his endless parade of marriages, and other valid reasons, I sort of lost faith in the institution of marriage. Then I thought about my grandparents. They were married for fifty years when my grandfather (a veteran of WWII who was awarded the purple heart by the way) passed away, and their marriage was as solid as they come. I also know that there are lots of happily married couples out there. So I know that not all marriages go down in flames like mine did.
I’m not sure how I got off on that whole marriage rant. Maybe my outlook on life is changing and I’m developing a more positive outlook on life and things in general. One can only hope!
Back to what’s been going on here lately. Hopefully I will have everything sorted out soon. I’ve applied for jobs in the town where Teacher lives, and I’ve also started scoping out possible houses/apartments to rent. I’m just tired of living so far away from civilization, dealing with my bitchy sister, working this dead-end job, and missing out on precious time that could be spent cultivating my relationship with Teacher. My goal is to find a job there and get moved there within two months. I wish I could do it sooner than that, but that seems like a reasonable goal to set for myself.
Actually, yesterday I got an email from a guy who wants to interview me on Tuesday. Yay! He even asked me to come in early so that I could fill out some paperwork. Paperwork is good! I love paperwork! I hope that means he is really interested in hiring me. The job location couldn’t be better. It’s right down the street from Teacher’s office, and the bar/restaurant where he plays at a lot, and I even found an apartment that might be for rent right there on that same street. That would completely solve my car problem for the time being. Ideally I would get the job, the apartment, and, well, I’ve already got the guy. So there. 🙂
I know this is one of my rambling posts, but that’s how my mind has been lately. All over the place. Thanks to Bossman who forgot to sign paychecks last week before going out of town, and then took $20 out of my check without telling me. Oh, and because I didn’t get paid, our power got cut off. I managed to get it turned back on, but only after sis bitched me out because she had to sit in the dark for a night. Then yesterday, Bossman went off again without signing checks, and when he did finally come in, he didn’t bother apologizing for any of it. It’s OK though, because I’m taking off Tuesday for my interview and will hopefully be telling him to take this job and shove it come next Friday!
Happy humping & hug a veteran this weekend!