I think I’m having a panic attack. My chest hurts, I’m sweating, it feels like someone is trying to choke me, my head is spinning, and I want to cry. I guess I should thank my wonderful family for this. Ever since they arrived this evening it’s been nonstop chaos and noise and tension and stress. I tried to keep myself busy. I did my laundry, the dishes, and finally just decided to hide up in my room. Who knows how long the peace and quiet will last though. We’ve got a shortage of beds again and I’ll be damned if I end up having to sleep with my sister and nephew again.
My plan of taking them out to dinner tomorrow night was shot to shit as soon as I mentioned it to my aunt. My sister heard me and said in a snotty tone, “You’d better be saving for a car instead.” I told her to shut up, and then she said something about me using her truck (the one I bought her) to get to work. Considering she’s not working now and I’m the one with a full-time paying job, I think it’s in both our best interest for me to actually go to work.
After that little comment though, I decided that instead of getting into a fight with her in front of my mom, aunt, little brother and nephew, I’d just not say anything else. There’s nothing I can say anyway that would make her stop being such a selfish bitch.
Since I still haven’t found another car, I think I’m just going to call the mechanic Monday and tell him to put a new motor in mine. At least that way I can get my car back and then get the hell out of this house…permanently. It’s sad that she’s pushed me to the point where once I get out of here, I probably won’t speak to her for a very long time. I have no reason to anymore. All she does is judge, bitch, criticize, and complain about how I choose to live my life. She’s worse than my parents ever were.