Archive | February 2013

Manwhore’s whores: Not me!

This has been an insane week.  I almost started to think it was Pop-Up Men time again, but it seems to have stopped at two.  (I didn’t count Harry because he showed back up last week.)  It started out with, are you ready for this?  Manwhore.  Yes, the very same Manwhore who got married to the Chicago Gold-Digger less than two months ago.  At first I thought it was going to just be a text asking me to do some website work for him or something, but I was wrong.  I was very wrong.

man whoreManwhore sent me a few texts and then told me that he would be back down here in about a week.  He asked if I wanted to come see him while he’s back in town.  I was in shock.  Has he really started cheating on her this soon after getting married?  And if so, then why?  Instead of wondering, I asked him.  He said that he hasn’t cheated on her.  This confused me even more.  Why would he take that step into adultery with me of all people?  His answer?

I’ve just always at some point seen you and we ended up fucking.

How’s that for disturbing?  After all this time, and all my progress in trying to move on and get past that chapter in my life, he still thinks he can just pop up and I’ll come running to fuck him.  Well, surprise, surprise…I’m not that weak “girl-in-love” anymore.  I answered:

“It’s taken me a long time to get over you.  I think it would be counter productive for me to come and fuck you now.”

I know it’s probably not the anger-filled reply that you might have expected, but I was trying to take the high road and be as polite as possible about it.  There’s no need for me to stoop to his level anymore.  I have overcome!  This is real progress folks!

The next man to pop back up was my second ex-husband, The Ox.  I know I haven’t told you much about him, and I plan to rectify that very soon, but here’s what happened this week.  I was at work Wednesday and got a text from The Ox.  That isn’t unusual.  We still text each other occasionally, and I still consider him a friend.   However, this text was different.

“Would you wanna get back together?”

Keep in mind that The Ox and I have been divorced for almost five years now.  We were only together a total of four years.  Even though I loved him, I have to admit that it was a doomed relationship.  When I got that text from him, I didn’t know if he was joking with me or being serious.  He has a tendency to be very sarcastic and never very serious about anything.  So I asked him if he was being serious.  He said that this time he was.  I told him that I didn’t think it was a good idea, and that some things are best left alone.  Again, I tried to be as nice as possible with my rejection text.

Why?! Why would anyone want this?!

Why?! Why would anyone want this?!

Maybe the universe is just playing some sick joke on me.  It can’t be normal for men to keep going back to a woman from their past like this.  Is it?  I sometimes wonder if I radiate some kind of vibes, or pheromones, or something, and I don’t realize it.  There has to be an explanation for it.  Maybe it’s just the power of the pussy that keeps them coming back for more.  That sounds conceited, I know, but don’t forget…I’m the Cock Master.  😉

Happy humping!

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What? No Valentine’s post from the Preacher’s Daughter?

Damn skippy, and no, I was not out on a hot date last night.  I was not too busy to write a VD post.  I just chose not to.  Why?  Because even though I love Valentine’s Day, I felt there were enough mushy lovey dovey posts being made already.

Instead, I spent my Valentine’s evening with Little Bubba.  Fallen Angel had her sewing class again last night, so it was my night to kid-sit.  He wasn’t the only one I had to take care of though.  My sister decided that Little Bubba deserved a gift for Valentine’s Day.  So while at the Tractor Supply store, she bought him two baby ducks.  Yes, two baby ducks.  One yellow and one brown.  The brown one is the bad one.  I can tell that already.  He tried to jump out of the cardboard box and attack me last night.

So that’s how I spent my VD evening.  With a three-year-old and two loud baby ducks.

Happy humping!

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Premature Jubilation

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“And it’s at this point in my story that the dark clouds part…” Laurie Bohner
Not so fast there Laurie…

As I said in my earlier post, it has rained men lately, but the forecast is still bleak.

After my disastrous date with Zoosk Guy on Saturday evening, I went on to meet up with Car Wash Dude as planned.  It took me about an hour to get there, but when I pulled up and saw the Escalade my inner gold-digger kicked in and I thought, “Surely this will be worth it.”

He told me to hop in and I did.  We sat and talked for an hour.  He was super smooth and nice, nothing like the asshole I had just left a couple of hours earlier.  If anyone was going to charm my pants off it would probably be this guy.

I do have to share one funny bit of info.  While we were talking he said something about me being a “snow bunny.”  I had no idea what that meant, so he explained, “That’s what us brothers call pretty white women like you.”  I had never heard that one before.

It was getting late and he asked where I was staying for the night.  I told him I was just going to head home.  He advised that I not do that because it was so late and I was already tired from driving four hours just to get there.  He even offered to get me a room for the night.  He said he’d rather do that than see me take a chance of falling asleep on the drive home.  Since he offered, and seemed sincere, I agreed.  (Yes, he had game, and I was falling for it, and yes, I knew it probably wouldn’t just be him getting me a room and saying goodnight & goodbye.  I’m not that naïve.)

So here’s what went down.  We went and got a room.  When we got in the room we sat and talked a bit more, but as I said, I was exhausted from all that driving and just wanted to lay down and rest.  He joined me and we Continue reading

I’m suddenly feeling religious

Me: we need to go to church
Fallen Angel: yeah
it can’t hurt
Me: 1st Baptist of (town)
Fallen Angel: uh oh
Me: the new minister of music just came in
lol
Fallen Angel: this isn’t sincere is it?
that’s just sick
Me: lol no
i can’t help it
hey, whatever gets people in the door
lol
shit..i should have offered to play bass for them

It’s raining men, with the chance of an asshole

When it rains it pours, and lately I’ve had so many choices that it’s enough to make a slut’s pussy spin.  But before we get to that part…

Yesterday started out as a normal Saturday at work.  Lots of the customers that came in were there on weekend passes from the loony bin.  A few were my regular lurkers that come in and try to get my phone number.  One of the lurkers is actually the guy who I met at the car wash back in October.  He came in to the store one day and recognized me and we started talking.  He’s a really nice and good-looking guy, and he’s always very polite and respectful.  So I had given him my number again, but I hadn’t really had a chance to talk to him on the phone.  We only exchanged a few texts.  Yesterday while he was there he told me that he was heading to Louisiana to visit his sister and brother-in-law for the weekend.  That meant nothing to me at the time, so I just told him to have a safe trip and went back to helping out the hordes of clueless customers.

bubbaThe rest was nice little old ladies and big guys nicknamed “Bubba” who reeked of B.O. and alcohol, and were looking at TV antennas to take home and put up on their roofs.  Hopefully none of them were injured on the job later that afternoon.  (PSA: Boys & Girls, don’t drink and install.  Pay a professional to do that for you.)  We also had one couple who came in and let their kid run rampant through the store.  He finally found a toy and sat on the floor playing with it.  Later I found a wet spot where he had pissed on the carpet.  Kids are as bad as dogs.  That’s how work went on Saturday.  Loads of fun.

I already had plans to leave work and go straight to meet a guy for coffee.  He’s 35, twice divorced, one kid, not very attractive, lives an hour and a half away, and says he’s a “DJ.”  He sent me a message on Zoosk.  (BTW Zoosk sucks worse than Plenty of Fish.  Don’t bother with it.)  I tried to get him to meet me half way, but he was full of excuses so I gave up and said I’d come to him.  It was a beautiful day and I just had a new radio installed in my car Friday, so I was itching to try it out, and to get out of Podunk for a while.  No big deal.

I confess that I had a bad feeling about this guy before I even left work, but, ever the optimist, I decided to give it a chance anyway.  Just in case though, I called my car wash guy and told him that I too was headed to LA.  We decided to meet later that evening.  So if my Zoosk boy turned out to be the asshole that I thought he might be, I wouldn’t have wasted an entire evening and tank of gas.

I had told him what time I’d be getting off work and leaving so he knew when to expect me.  When I was about an hour away from my destination I sent him a text tell him how far away I was.  He didn’t reply.  I kept going and then Continue reading