Fifty Shades of Red

sagittarius,hair,beauty,back,redhead,water-bc51304f5ffc8e5602e82c89e89038a2_hThe following conversation occurred a few days after Christmas.

Mom:  You’re hair looks good.  I like that color.

Me:  Thanks.  It’s my natural color.  Can’t you tell by all the gray in it?

Mom:  You’ve always had white hairs mixed in with the red.

Fallen Angel (my sister):  Yeah, this is the first time I’ve seen either one of you with your natural hair color…ever.

Me:  (Laughing)  That’s not true.

Fallen Angel:  Yes it is.  You should title your book Fifty Shades of Red.   Remember that time when you let your friend color it that purplish-red color.  That looked awful.

Me:  Thanks….I liked it. (Trying to hide my bruised ego.)

Mom & Fallen Angel:  (Laughing)

That conversation got me to wondering again what all the fuss was about.  About that book, Fifty Shades of Grey.  I know its old news to most of you, and it would be to me too if I had ever read the book.  However I don’t read much, other than blogs and articles online.  When I was in high school I read constantly.  I was the girl who always had a book with her, always got to class early, and to avoid unwanted social contact, always just sat and read until class started.  Yes, I was a mega nerd.

Since then I think I’ve read maybe a dozen books over the last twenty years, and none in the last fifteen years.  So my sister, who is an avid reader and loves her Kindle, always picks at me when I say I want to read a book.  She always asks, “You can read?  I didn’t know you could read.”  She’s very funny.  Of course I can read.  My attention span just isn’t long enough for me to read anything longer than a few pages.  I’m not sure why, or when that happened, but that’s just how it is.  Until now.

While my parents were visiting, they took my sister’s room, she took my room, and  I was banished to the loft.  Since I had no tv on the loft, I was left with just my phone to entertain me.  Knowing that my sister probably had hundreds of books on her Kindle account, I decided to download the Kindle app and see what she had.

She had the usual romance novels, vampire books, and westerns/horse books.  The one that caught my eye though was Fifty Shades of Grey.  She even had the second book, Fifty Shades Darker.  Now, she had warned me that the writing was not the greatest and the storyline was a bit weak, but who cares…it’s like porn for housewives, or so I’ve heard.  So I decided I’d download it.  I started reading and got a couple of chapters in before falling asleep.  Needless to say, when I remembered it the next day, I was not very impressed.  I didn’t have much desire to keep reading so I forgot about it.

A couple of days later I was at work and talking to my coworker, Hamster, about something and I mentioned to him that my sister had talked me into reading Fifty Shades of Grey.  He said in his matter of fact tone, “Yeah, my wife read that and when she got done she said, ‘Bedroom. Now!'”  His wife is older than him and I can totally see her giving him the domination treatment.  Anyway, that renewed my interest in the book.

A few days later I was in bed early and was tired, but not sleepy.  It was time to give the book another shot.  Especially since Hamster said what he did about his wife having such a strong reaction to it.  I picked up where I left off.  A couple of hours later I was still reading and finally I got to a “juicy part.”  Maybe there really was something to this book after all.  Maybe it’s like having to suffer through the first season of Babylon Five to really get to the good stuff.

Once I realize what Christian Grey’s secret is, I am seriously intrigued and reminded of someone I once knew.  Well, I still know him, but I haven’t seen him in years.  I’m talking about the wonderful Mr. A.  No, Mr. A does not have a red room of pain, or at least I don’t think he does.  He does however have the power to turn me into an obedient little yes sir-ing/no sir-ing slut who would do anything to please him.  Why?  I wish I knew.  He just does, and I like it.  He can be a thousand miles away from me and send me a simple short text and I get all hot and bothered.

Since I became aware of their similarities, I can’t read a page without imagining Mr. A and myself in a similar relationship and situations.  The book’s already titillating descriptions and story are just doubled in intensity by mind veering off into images of Mr. A tying me up and spanking me.  Damn you Mr. A!  I’m horny enough as it is.  I don’t need him making my life a living sexual hell.  Because I know there’s a very slim to none chance that I’ll ever have that kind of relationship with him.  It all just one big mind-tease.

Fine.  I’m going to go read some more now.  I’m up to the part where she sends him the email saying that it was “nice knowing him.”  Don’t tell me what happens next!  LOL

Happy humping & reading (porn)!

4 thoughts on “Fifty Shades of Red

  1. Pingback: Bedtime Stories | Confessions of a Preacher's Daughter

  2. Pingback: Old Habits Die Hard | Confessions of a Preacher's Daughter

  3. Pingback: Steel Magnolias No More | Confessions of a Preacher's Daughter

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