I had resorted back to trolling Plenty of Fish a month or so ago, purely out of boredom. It possibly has to do with the fact that I had stopped taking my hormone medicines, but continued to take my Wellbutrin (or as I like to call them, my happy pills). I originally started taking the happy pills because I read on a forum for premature ovarian failure that a side effect of Wellbutrin can be increased libido. Luckily for me, it worked.
Also my moods have been a bit wonky lately, and the hot-flashes have started back. It happens every time I stop taking my hormones. Another awful side effect is that I’m tired a lot, but that could also because I’ve had crazy dreams lately and have not been sleeping well. The dreams that I have had are usually sexual in nature. They never have the same people in them though. In one dream I found myself in bed with Stephan & Klaus from The Vampire Diaries. I really don’t understand why they were there. I’d rather have Damon & Caroline in my bed. Anyway…
My raging libido and lack of a steady sexual outlet is making my mind go into turbo slut mode again. All I can think about is sex. It’s terrible. I can’t focus on anything for very long without my mind wandering off into the gutter. It doesn’t even take much to get me there either. I’ve found myself staring at my bosses ass wondering why he doesn’t wear tighter jeans, gazing at the adorable blonde boy from the AT&T store next door as he walks to his car for lunch, and even flirting with every other guy who comes in to the store. Granted, I’ve sold the shit out of some stuff lately, but I’m sure to the women, I’m just coming across as a big ol’ hoe.
Even my boss seems to think I have issues. A couple of weeks ago he, my co-worker Hamster, and I were talking about my dad being a player, and my boss said, “So that’s where you get it from.” Not that my boss has any room to talk. From what I’ve been told, he’s been quite the player himself. However, even though I have no desire to play home-wrecker, I can’t seem to keep myself from daydreaming about him. Playing the player possibly. I don’t even find him that attractive…well, until his ass is right there in front of me, then I can’t help but notice how nice it is. Believe me, I’ve tried to stop these thoughts from entering my consciousness. It’s just not working. I don’t even think I’d ever act on them, even if he initiated something, but just that the thoughts are there bothers me.
My boss comes across as a prick a lot of the time, but then there are times when he’s really nice and playful. Yesterday I couldn’t help but notice the stream of cute young guys that kept coming in, and all I could do Continue reading