Archive | January 2013

Bedtime Stories

I had resorted back to trolling Plenty of Fish a month or so ago, purely out of boredom.  It possibly has to do with the fact that I had stopped taking my hormone medicines, but continued to take my Wellbutrin (or as I like to call them, my happy pills).  I originally started taking the happy pills because I read on a forum for premature ovarian failure that a side effect of Wellbutrin can be increased libido.  Luckily for me, it worked.

Also my moods have been a bit wonky lately, and the hot-flashes have started back.  It happens every time I stop taking my hormones.  Another awful side effect is that I’m tired a lot, but that could also because I’ve had crazy dreams lately and have not been sleeping well.  The dreams that I have had are usually sexual in nature.  They never have the same people in them though.  In one dream I found myself in bed with Stephan & Klaus from The Vampire Diaries.  I really don’t understand why they were there.  I’d rather have Damon & Caroline in my bed.  Anyway…

My raging libido and lack of a steady sexual outlet is making my mind go into turbo slut mode again.  All I can think about is sex.  It’s terrible.  I can’t focus on anything for very long without my mind wandering off into the gutter.  It doesn’t even take much to get me there either.  I’ve found myself staring at my bosses ass wondering why he doesn’t wear tighter jeans, gazing at the adorable blonde boy from the AT&T store next door as he walks to his car for lunch, and even flirting with every other guy who comes in to the store.  Granted, I’ve sold the shit out of some stuff lately, but I’m sure to the women, I’m just coming across as a big ol’ hoe.

Even my boss seems to think I have issues.  A couple of weeks ago he, my co-worker Hamster, and I were talking about my dad being a player, and my boss said, “So that’s where you get it from.”  Not that my boss has any room to talk.  From what I’ve been told, he’s been quite the player himself.  However, even though I have no desire to play home-wrecker, I can’t seem to keep myself from daydreaming about him.  Playing the player possibly.  I don’t even find him that attractive…well, until his ass is right there in front of me, then I can’t help but notice how nice it is.  Believe me, I’ve tried to stop these thoughts from entering my consciousness.  It’s just not working.  I don’t even think I’d ever act on them, even if he initiated something, but just that the thoughts are there bothers me.

My boss comes across as a prick a lot of the time, but then there are times when he’s really nice and playful.  Yesterday I couldn’t help but notice the stream of cute young guys that kept coming in, and all I could do Continue reading

Fifty Shades of Red

sagittarius,hair,beauty,back,redhead,water-bc51304f5ffc8e5602e82c89e89038a2_hThe following conversation occurred a few days after Christmas.

Mom:  You’re hair looks good.  I like that color.

Me:  Thanks.  It’s my natural color.  Can’t you tell by all the gray in it?

Mom:  You’ve always had white hairs mixed in with the red.

Fallen Angel (my sister):  Yeah, this is the first time I’ve seen either one of you with your natural hair color…ever.

Me:  (Laughing)  That’s not true.

Fallen Angel:  Yes it is.  You should title your book Fifty Shades of Red.   Remember that time when you let your friend color it that purplish-red color.  That looked awful.

Me:  Thanks….I liked it. (Trying to hide my bruised ego.)

Mom & Fallen Angel:  (Laughing)

That conversation got me to wondering again what all the fuss was about.  About that book, Fifty Shades of Grey.  I know its old news to most of you, and it would be to me too if I had ever read the book.  However I don’t read much, other than blogs and articles online.  When I was in high school I read constantly.  I was the girl who always had a book with her, always got to class early, and to avoid unwanted social contact, always just sat and read until class started.  Yes, I was a mega nerd.

Since then I think I’ve read maybe a dozen books over the last twenty years, and none in the last fifteen years.  So my sister, who is an avid reader and loves her Kindle, always picks at me when I say I want to read a book.  She always asks, “You can read?  I didn’t know you could read.”  She’s very funny.  Of course I can read.  My attention span just isn’t long enough for me to read anything longer than a few pages.  I’m not sure why, or when that happened, but that’s just how it is.  Until now.

While my parents were visiting, they took my sister’s room, she took my room, and  I was banished to the loft.  Since I had no tv on the loft, I was left with just my phone to entertain me.  Knowing that my sister probably had hundreds of books on her Kindle account, I decided to download the Kindle app and see what she had.

She had the usual romance novels, vampire books, and westerns/horse books.  The one that caught my eye though was Fifty Shades of Grey.  She even had the second book, Fifty Shades Darker.  Now, she had warned me that the writing was not the greatest and the storyline was a bit weak, but who cares…it’s like porn for housewives, or so I’ve heard.  So I decided I’d download it.  I started reading and got a couple of chapters in before falling asleep.  Needless to say, when I remembered it the next day, I was not very impressed.  I didn’t have much desire to keep reading so I forgot about it.

A couple of days later I was at work and talking to my coworker, Hamster, about something and I mentioned to him that my sister had talked me into reading Fifty Shades of Grey.  He said in his matter of fact tone, “Yeah, my wife read that and when she got done she said, ‘Bedroom. Now!'”  His wife is older than him and Continue reading

My Lucky Year

new_year_2013Now that 2012 is over and 2013 has begun, I feel the need to come up with a new plan.  You won’t find any new year resolutions here, just a new plan for my life.  Actually, I didn’t have a plan at all for my life last year, or for many years before that, so I think just having a plan is a good start.  Don’t you?

New-pricing-plan

Since I’ve always considered thirteen my lucky number, I’m declaring 2013 my lucky year.  This year I will choose to be more positive and more open to all that the universe has to offer me.  I’ve also decided to make a conscious effort this year to be less of a whore.  Yeah, you heard right.  I’m going to reign in my lust for men and sex, and be more committed to being with just one person, hopefully the right person.

I know this must come as a shock to some of my readers, but even I have tired of the constant stream of pricks that have crossed my threshold over the years.  Sure, they have made my life interesting and exciting, but it’s time to give the old “social norm” a try.  It couldn’t possibly be any worse than what/who I’ve done.  Plus I have been relatively single for almost a year now so that gives me sort of a buffer year to have prepared for my upcoming year of monogamy.  Yes, I know monogamy is probably going to be difficult for me to get back into considering the lifestyle I’ve led over the past four years.  However in the years before that I was always in monogamous relationships and was very good at it.  Until my slip-up in my second marriage, I never would have considered myself a cheater.  In fact I abhorred cheaters.  I had been cheated on before and hated how it made me feel.  I never wanted to cause anyone that kind of pain.

integrity1No, I’m not trying to get all preachy and self-righteous on you.  I just want to make some changes in my life for the better.  I know there has to be more to life than serial dating, one-night stands, and broken hearts.  Of course I recognize the probability that I might fail in my quest, but either way I’m going to give it my all.

I am also going to commit to writing more often this year.  I’ve been a lazy fuck this past year.  Sorry about that.

Happy new year humpers!