The Tenants from Hell

You may recall that back in April of this year my sister rented out our basement to a couple I later called Awesome Man & Awesome Woman due to their wonderful woodworking & auto mechanic skills.  All that has changed.  They are no longer awesome in any way.  I’ll explain.

After they moved in they told us that they had a six-month old baby girl.  We were told that she was up North with his family because AW & AM  had recently moved down here to take care of AW’s dying mother, who we later found out was a drug dealer, and they wanted to get settled before bringing the baby down.  Of course that sounded odd, but they didn’t seem like the sharpest tools in the shed anyway, so we just said OK and let it go.

A couple of weeks after the Crawfish Boil, we were all hanging out on the porch talking and enjoying a beer.  My sister went inside to check on something and while she was gone, AM said something about AW looking really good for having had kids.  I agreed.  Then she said that she couldn’t believe she was in such good of shape after giving birth FIVE times.  What?!  Five times?!  I was certain I must have heard her wrong.  She’s not much older than my sister and she had only mentioned the one baby prior to that.  I was shocked and confused and afraid to say anything for fear of sounding judgmental, but I wanted to ask her where the hell her other kids were.

I mentioned it to my sister the next day, and she agreed that I must have misunderstood.  It just all sounded too insane.  If she had five kids, then why weren’t the other four with her?  We were both extremely confused.

The next day my sister got a chance to talk to AM for a few minutes and managed to find out that indeed AW did have four more children.  Two were out west with their father, and two more were up North where they moved from, and even worse, one was only three years old!  Why on earth would a mother move a thousand miles away from her children, and not want to even go visit them or talk to them?  AW later told my sister that she sends them a card at Christmas.  That’s it.  Just a card.  Their story just kept getting more and more suspicious and strange.

A few months ago we found out that the reason they didn’t have their six-month old baby with them was because she had been taken away as soon as she was born.  AW tested positive for drugs when the baby was born, and that meant the baby was immediately taken into custody by the state.  So they had been lying to us the entire time, about everything.  They were in a local rehabilitation program that if completed, would allow them the chance to get their baby back.  Part of the program required that they attend a local church twice a week.  This turned out to be a huge sad joke.

They completed the program a couple of months ago, and surprisingly regained full custody of the baby.  My sister and I watched closely as they slowly stopped attending church altogether, and as they started badmouthing the people in the church, and the entire religion itself.  Prior to all this they talked about the church and religion as if it was a big part of their lives and as if they really were believers.

One evening when AW was at work AM sent my sister a text.  He propositioned her, saying that before they have to move and before she moves, he just “had to ask” if they could have sex just once.  So here was this married man, with loads of issues, who had lied to us from the beginning, asking my sister if they could have sex.  She flew off the handle and ripped him a new one.  “How dare he ask her that?” she said.  Why would he even think she would be attracted to him in any way?  Was he that stupid?  Obviously he was.  She was ready to kick them out right then, but decided we needed the rent money instead.

Mr T say no to drugsSkip to three weeks ago.  My sister is sitting on the porch one evening talking on her phone.  She smells something strange.  She comes and asks me to come outside and tell her what I think it is.  Before I could even walk out the front door I closed it.  It was pot.  I know the smell all too well.  I can go years without smoking it, and still know it when I smell it.  And this was some strong-smelling shit.

Again, my sister flipped out.  How dare they bring drugs into her house?  How dare he even smoke that shit after he just regained custody of his baby?  The man is a complete moron.  All it would take is one call to DCS or the baby’s court appointed lawyer, and it would all be over.  She contemplated calling the lawyer, but decided to text AM first and tell him that she didn’t want drugs on her property.

AM replied saying that he thought we were cool with pot, and that it was “legal in some states.”  Oh.  My.  God.  He is dumber than we thought.  It is NOT legal in Mississippi, and when you just got your baby back because you were a druggie, well, that’s just stupid to even think about doing.  She didn’t hesitate to tell him that either.  She also told them to be out by the end of the month.

Last week we had a breaker go out in the kitchen.  Since the breaker box is in the basement, I had to go downstairs and knock on their door because they weren’t responding to our texts.  There was no answer.  My sister decided to just take her key and go down there, go in and fix the breaker.  She knocked a few more times, but there was still no answer, so she started to let herself in.  As soon as she opened the door AW said, “Oh, I’m sorry.  I didn’t hear you knocking.”  Bullshit.

Friday we had a potential buyer scheduled to come and look at the house.  My sister had sent AM a text on Thursday to let him know that we would need in on Friday to show the house, but he never replied.  When my sister came back to the house Friday to meet the potential buyer and realtor, they did their walk-through of the house, then they walked down to the basement.  There is a screen door to the patio at the basement.  It was hooked.  She banged on the door for five minutes, but no one came to let her in.  Since she couldn’t get them to answer her texts, calls or banging on the door, she decided to go upstairs and let herself in through the door that goes to the basement from inside the house.

She unlocked it and started down the stairs.  As she walked down she said, “Hello….hello!”  Nothing.  When she got to the bottom of the stairs AW said, “Hey!  Sorry I didn’t hear you knocking.”  She told him she had to show the people the house and would only be a few minutes, and she walked to the patio and unlocked the screen door.  As she walked to the patio she heard him say quite loudly, “Shit.”  She ignored him.

Later on that day he told her that his phone wasn’t working and that’s why he didn’t get her texts.  Being the wonderfully sneaky bitch that she is, my sister had her friend text AM’s phone.  The text said, “Hey. How’ve you been? Haven’t heard from you in a while.”  He then replied, “Who is this?”  So…his phone was working after all and he is just a liar.

After learning that he lied yet again, and was just being an ass, we typed up a notice to evacuate to give to them on Friday night.  We gave them 48 hours notice.  The lease only required that we give them 36 hours notice, so we were being nicer than we had to be.

They got home late Friday night and found the notice on their door.  We heard a lot of yelling and cursing downstairs, and then he started texting my sister telling her that we were liars and thieves.  On Saturday we heard them packing and moving stuff out of the basement.  Yesterday they had a van and were loading more stuff up.  When they were done he walked up to bring us the keys.  He knocked on the door, handed her the keys and walked away.  Not quietly though.  The whole way down he was screaming obscenities at my sister and calling her all sorts of awful things.  He did all this while my nephew was sitting right there inside the door by the way.  He definitely looked like he was high or something, and she was shaken up about the whole thing.  She ended up calling the sheriff because she was a little afraid of what we might find once we went down to the basement to take a look at it.  I was just afraid that they may have wrecked it or stolen something.

The sheriff showed up, but they were gone by that time.  We walked through the basement to see what kind of state they left it in.  Everything seemed to still be there.  They did leave a bunch of beer bottles under the counter, garbage on the patio, and stuff in the refrigerator that we’ll have to clean out.  When we were turning the lights on, I noticed that almost all the light bulbs were missing.  They stole the damn light bulbs.  How petty is that?  Then my sister noticed that they had taken the smoke detectors.  That I don’t understand.  Why would they steal the smoke detectors?  Was he planning on coming back and burning the house down?  I hate drug addicts.

Now that they are gone and all of their drama has gone with them it should be a little more peaceful around here.  I can only hope…

Happy humping!

6 thoughts on “The Tenants from Hell

  1. Good call on calling the Sheriff, I would have been worried they left drugs behind. Glad you were rid of those losers, no telling what else they were hiding that hadn’t surfaced yet !!

  2. Pingback: Waiting to exhale | Confessions of a Preacher's Daughter

  3. I bet they took the smoke detectors down so they could smoke without being caught. The light bulbs missing tells me that since they were druggies, they were using them to smoke meth or coke. Speculation, but not unfounded.

  4. Pingback: Old Habits Die Hard | Confessions of a Preacher's Daughter

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