Archive | October 22, 2012

The Tenants from Hell

You may recall that back in April of this year my sister rented out our basement to a couple I later called Awesome Man & Awesome Woman due to their wonderful woodworking & auto mechanic skills.  All that has changed.  They are no longer awesome in any way.  I’ll explain.

After they moved in they told us that they had a six-month old baby girl.  We were told that she was up North with his family because AW & AM  had recently moved down here to take care of AW’s dying mother, who we later found out was a drug dealer, and they wanted to get settled before bringing the baby down.  Of course that sounded odd, but they didn’t seem like the sharpest tools in the shed anyway, so we just said OK and let it go.

A couple of weeks after the Crawfish Boil, we were all hanging out on the porch talking and enjoying a beer.  My sister went inside to check on something and while she was gone, AM said something about AW looking really good for having had kids.  I agreed.  Then she said that she couldn’t believe she was in such good of shape after giving birth FIVE times.  What?!  Five times?!  I was certain I must have heard her wrong.  She’s not much older than my sister and she had only mentioned the one baby prior to that.  I was shocked and confused and afraid to say anything for fear of sounding judgmental, but I wanted to ask her where the hell her other kids were.

I mentioned it to my sister the next day, and she agreed that I must have misunderstood.  It just all sounded too insane.  If she had five kids, then why weren’t the other four with her?  We were both extremely confused.

The next day my sister got a chance to talk to AM for a few minutes and managed to find out that Continue reading