Archive | October 8, 2012

Dear Unicorn

A redheaded hobbit runs through the forest in search of the ever elusive unicorn.  Giving up her search, she decides to write the Unicorn a letter.

Dear Unicorn,

I thought I had found you, but it turns out that it was just a horse with a shiny horn super-glued to its handsome head.  Searching for you has been exhausting, and therefore I am no longer going to continue my search.  Wherever you may be, if you do even exist, I am leaving it up to you to find me.  Hopefully fate will bring us together.

Until that time I have decided to move on with my little hobbit life and search for more tangible things like a new house, a new job, a new car, and an ale that tastes good and is less filling.

While my search for you has been fun and exciting at times, it has also raised my blood pressure and heart rate in very bad ways.  My goal now is to live a more stress-free life, leave the trolls alone, and let God sort out the rest.


The Redheaded Hobbit, aka

I’m freaking out

Yes, I’m freaking out.  Completely.  I got a call from my boss this morning saying that there was a hundred bucks missing from the drawer.  Since I was the only one working Saturday that means it’s pinned on me.  I have no idea what happened to it.  I don’t remember anything weird happening Saturday, so I really don’t have a clue.

Of course I keep having flashbacks of my final days as a church secretary.  In this case, however, I am not guilty as charged.  I absolutely hate being falsely accused.  Sure, if I did it, then accuse all you want.  But if I didn’t, you’d better have a damn good reason for thinking I did.  I’m too old for this level of stress.

Of course I have issues when it comes to things like this.  I worked hard to overcome my past indiscretion and regain people’s’ trust, and I don’t want people to lose that trust in me over something like this.  If the Preacher were to find out about this, I’m certain he would believe my boss over me.  My dad loves me, but it probably wouldn’t take much to push him back into thinking I’m a common thief.  I may be a lot of things, slut, snob, sometimes dumb-ass, occasional drunk, and politically incorrect, but I’m NOT a thief.

Another reason I’m not only freaking out, but pissed off, is because why would I risk losing my job over a measly hundred bucks?  Granted, I don’t make that much, but it’s steady income and better than nothing.

I’m probably over reacting.  He hasn’t even come out and accused me of anything yet.  I could tell by his tone, though, that if it comes down to it, then it’ll most likely be my ass on the line.  I cannot afford to lose this job now.  Oh, dear baby Jesus in a manger!  Why do these things keep happening to me?!

Happy humping!