Archive | March 31, 2012

Road Trippin’ & Auto Mechanics with the Preacher’s Daughters

Last weekend my Momma, my sister (Fallen Angel), my nephew (Little Bubba), and I went on a road trip.  The plan was to take my mom to meet my aunt somewhere around half way between my sister’s house and my aunt’s house.  That meant that we would be traveling about three hours one-way.  However, road trips with my mom, sister & nephew never go as planned.

We were supposed to leave by 10:00 am Saturday morning.  That didn’t happen.  My mom is notorious for taking her time and being late to everything.  She’s a wonderful woman, but she has no sense of time or urgency.  So it was about noon before we actually hit the road.  Once on the road I had to stop and get an oil change since we were in my car and it probably had been six months or more since I had it changed.  (I’m notorious for being a procrastinator, unlike my mom.)

The entire time we were getting the oil changed they were all complaining about being hungry and having low blood sugar.  God forbid if their blood sugar gets low.  It’s more of a joke than a fact.  The Preacher has borderline diabetes and gets extremely grumpy when he doesn’t eat right, so we always tell him to eat before his blood sugar gets low and he turns into the Hulk.  It’s gotten to the point that even my six year-old little brother told my mom after school one day that he needed a snack because his blood sugar was low.  Kids are so funny.

Before we could go eat though, we had to try to put some freon in my car’s A/C.  It’s barely been working for about a year now.  When you have two post-menopausal women in the car, you really need the A/C working, so sis and I were determined to fix it ourselves.  We already had the adapter and the can of freon.  The guy at the oil change place was nice enough to show Fallen Angel where to attach it to the car.  She seemed confident enough that we could get the job done.

We pulled into a space in the parking lot and popped the hood.  With the adapter attached I cranked the car and it began sucking in the freon.  Seemed easy enough.  My sister even pulled up a how-to video on YouTube for us to watch.  After ten minutes though the air still wasn’t blowing colder.  Another ten minutes and still nothing.  We finally gave up.

So after the oil change, arguing over where to stop and eat, then eating, trying to fix the A/C, then getting back on the road, it was about 1:30 pm.  Better late than never, right?

Whenever we are all stuck in the car together for long periods of time the conversation tends to be all over the place.  At one point we were talking about skin care and once again I made the mistake of hounding my sister about the importance of using sunscreen.  I half-jokingly told her that that’s why I look so young and beautiful.  Her reply?  “That’s only because you’ve never even been out in the sun.”  It’s true.  I’m one of those redheads that treats the sun like it’s my arch-nemesis.  I’ve had a couple of bad sunburns over the years and I’d really rather not have that happen again.  I do venture out into the daylight when necessary though.  I also know that tans are supposed to make you look better and all, but I’m perfectly happy with my lily-white skin and freckles, so long as it doesn’t get all wrinkly before I turn sixty.  So wear your sunscreen boys & girls!  Like I tell my sister, you’ll thank me in ten years! 😉

After that little chat we stopped for a potty break.  My Mom was taking forever so I got some nicotine in me while I had the chance.  That’s always the worst part of those long road trips with my family.  I have to wait until we make a stop before I can have a smoke.  Even then if my mom sees me she nags me about it.

She finally came back to the car and as we were leaving she said, “Hurry up and get us out of here.  All those old men in there were gettin’ kind of flirty with me.”  I told her that they just weren’t used to seeing a car load of pretty women in those parts.  We have all our teeth.

So on we went.  We made it to another gas station and called my aunt.  She had driven five hours already and we were running so late that she was almost there.  We were way off from meeting her half way as planned, but it was late so I was relieved that I didn’t have to drive any further.  After my aunt arrived we loaded all my mom’s stuff into her truck and said our goodbyes.  I’m not sure how my mom always manages to leave with twice as much stuff as she comes with, but she’s turned it into an art form.

The conversation with my sister during the drive back was even more interesting because mom was gone and Little Bubba was passed out in the back in his car-seat.  Sis and I started catching each other up on our latest man-problems.  She wanted to know what had happened with Art and the latest news on Manwhore.  We tend to go into “TMI” territory sometimes when discussing our man problems and this time was no different.  She just couldn’t understand why Art & I had such problems in the boudoir.  To be honest I still don’t understand it myself.  Then she had an epiphany that only a blonde could have.  She said that he must have an E.D. problem.  For those of you that don’t know, E.D. stands for erectile dysfunction.  At first I tried to tell her that it couldn’t be E.D. because, well, it just couldn’t be.  She kept asking questions though and eventually it kind of made sense, if only in a “we’re just being funny evil bitches at the poor guy’s expense” kind of way.  She suggested that we call and have a sample of Viagra sent to him, anonymously of course.  LOL  I couldn’t do that to him though.  That would just be mean, and I don’t really believe that was his problem.  I know I’m not supposed to be talking about him anymore so I’ll stop there.  LOL

Then she started going though my Plenty of Fish messages and picking out the guys that had also messaged her.  I always find it amusing when guys are interested in both of us.  We’re so completely different.  It just doesn’t make any sense to me.  It’s even funnier when they send us both the same opening lines.  Apparently it has become necessary though for us to compare notes so we don’t end up going out with the same ones, or at the very least we have to pick who gets which guys.  LOL

I do love the conversations that I have with my sister.  There are certain things that only we can discuss with one another.

It was a long tiring day, but I was happy that I got to see my mom and spend some quality family time with them all.  They may drive me crazy sometimes, but I love them anyway.

Happy humping!